Chapter Twelve
Later That Night
Cathy and Julia took Kurt's advice and went home with him to the guest house to allow Georg and Maria time to work out their issues. Max retreated to his private room upstairs to give them the same courtesy.
Maria held onto Georg, not necessarily for her own comfort. She needed him close by, yes, but she sensed he needed her even more.
"Georg," Maria said gently as they were seated in the living room with the TV on for noise awaiting Lida's return from Louisa's. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay, I understand, but I hope you will be able to explain to me what you mean when you said you know what it is to hate yourself. Darling, I think that hurt more than anything I remember you ever saying to me, even in some of our darkest moments."
Georg sighed and held onto Maria's hand. "I'm sorry, Maria. I truly am. There are many things I've done in my life that I'm not proud of. The way I treated my children after Agathe died, the way I commanded we leave everything behind that we ever knew without even consulting you as my wife…The cowardice that held me back from telling you the truth about how I felt. That's my deepest regret, and I still have a hard time looking in the mirror when I think of what you went through and what you still go through because of my…" Georg bowed his head. "If Lida knows the whole truth, that her biological father was a monster, she might see the things in herself that aren't like us, that are different as evil. She might hate herself, and that will eat at her, it will eat at her soul until she feels she's not good enough for anything or anyone. You, Maria, were the one that changed that for me, I can't know that Lida will be so lucky. Do you understand?"
Maria did understand. "I do," Maria replied. "But Georg, no matter what kind of pain we went through, what kind of anger, I wouldn't change it, we have what we have because of what happened. It's all part of God's plan. We don't always get to understand what that is."
Maria laid her head on Georg's shoulder, and he slid his arms around her. "I love you," he said plainly as he held her a little closer.
It was nearly 9pm when Lida pushed open the front door. "Hey," she smiled. "You two enjoying the quiet?"
Maria smiled, "It's really late, Lida. Is everything okay at Louisa's?"
"Little Maggie has bad colic, she cried for hours, and Louisa is at her wits end. I was going to call but I didn't know if anyone was over. I'm just going to change then go into town to meet Will."
That was it. Georg's opening, Maria knew it, she felt him stiffen, felt his eyes shift and lock on Lida. "Are you asking me or telling me?"
"Papa, I've waited three days already for you to even broach the subject," Lida replied. "So, I'm telling you that tonight I'm going to the drug store for a soda with Will. Do you want anything?"
Georg stood up, "Yes, I want a lot of things. First and foremost, I want you to get on the phone and call Will and tell him will not be going to the drug store or anywhere tonight, not even out to the yard."
"Papa, I'm 22 years old," Lida replied. "William met you both, I thought the dinner went really well except for the part where you left for 15 minutes and came back acting like…"
"Lida Rose," Maria said in a warning tone. "Think carefully, you might not agree with your father, but he deserves your respect."
"Mama, I'm trying, but he's being unreasonable," Lida defended.
"It is not unreasonable that I do not wish to be told in my own house that you are coming and going as you please when I have not even given my consent for you to see this man."
"Papa, it's been days, it's just a soda. Why are you being so difficult about this?"
"Because we have a way of doing this in our family that you are choosing to disregard," Georg replied. "The fact this young man, a supposed gentleman from the way he carries himself, didn't think to come on his own to see me, until after Friedrich discovered you really leaves me cold. Never mind his deplorable taste in French cuisine. I am sorry, Lida, but this is not a relationship that I can bless, further, it is not a relationship that I will consent to."
Lida was stunned for a minute, but her father's face was firm and his eyes cold as he spoke. He would be immovable. "Is this because of what happened with Mama?" Lida pressed. "Will apologized for that. He was trying to do the right thing!"
"I know he was, but it was too little, too late," Georg parried. "I do not want you to see this man again. I want more for you than this. You wanted to travel, you wanted to see the world…Now you want to spend time with a man and work in the bakery. That is not what my money paid for."
"I can use my education to help Rosamaria and to help Will start on his own," Lida challenged. "Wellesley turns out useful wives, that's what it does, and that's what I want to be."
"Not with William Brown," Georg said flatly, shutting down her arguments. "In fact, I forbid it."
Lida kept battling, she had her mother's stubborn streak. Her tone got louder, then Georg's rose to match it. Maria held her tongue, the battle going on in front of her killing her inside. Georg was fighting with Lida FOR Lida's own good and she kept hitting him below the belt.
"You are old fashioned!" Lida charged. "And stubborn. All you care about is you and what you want. All you give a damn about is having control. Look at Mama, 25 years younger, that's not normal! That's just…She just sits there, no opinion, no voice, no mind of her own!"
Georg turned and snapped at Lida in a way he never had before. She had crossed the line attacking Maria, "Don't you dare!" Georg bit out. "Don't you dare say disparaging things about your mother, you have no idea what she'd been through, no idea at all!"
Meanwhile, Max had been listening to the raised voices. The accusations and shouting between father and daughter cut him to the core. Max knew how much Georg loved Lida, he knew that Georg had never thought of Lida differently for one second, she was as much his as the others were. Now, though, that love and protection was backfiring. Max could hear the hurtful things Lida was saying, Georg didn't deserve that.
Max took a deep breath and headed down the stairs. Lida was incensed, pacing back and forth, "That's not a reason! You need to tell me why you are demanding this! If you are going to ruin my life one way or another I need to know why!"
"Tell her the truth, Georg," Max interjected. "She has a right to know the truth."
"Max," Georg said in warning, but Max continued.
"Georg, Maria, you know it's time," Max coaxed. "Lida has to understand, she's old enough, she's smart enough…You can do it, Georg. Tell her the truth."
With red, teary eyes and blotchy cheeks, Lida looked at her beloved Uncle Max. "Truth?" she turned back to Georg. "Truth about what?"
Georg was pale. All the blood drained from his face and he was frozen. His heart was pounding, his head swimming, he never wanted this moment, but he'd underestimated his daughter's love for this man, the man that shared the one thing he never could with her, genetics.
Georg opened his mouth to tell her, Max was right in his meaning, but wrong, Georg felt in outing them in front of Lida.
"Lida," Georg began, but the words got stuck in his throat. "Lida, the…" The pressure on his chest was building and his breath was coming in shallow spurts. He could not do this. He could not sever the only true bond he had with his precious Lida Rose, the bond that came from his emotional paternity.
Maria saw Georg's body language. He was defeated, totally and utterly defeated. His shoulders slumped and he bent at the waist placing his hands on his knees. She'd seen that position once or twice only and each time he was feeling painful and profound grief.
Georg never let Maria flounder. Whenever she was drowning in emotion, in fear, in pain, he was there for her. Now, she was going to take this burden from him. After all, Georg had wanted to tell Lida a few times, but Maria had denied it.
"Georg, sit down, Darling. Take a deep breath, I'll tell her," Maria offered. "Just sit down, Max, get him some water please."
Georg only held the cup and waited for Maria to speak. He couldn't breathe until this was done.
"Lida," Maria wiped her tears. "My dear, I am so sorry that you have to hear this at all, especially this way, but…Come sit down, I have a story to tell you."
Lida hesitantly sat down. She didn't understand what was going on. "Mama, just tell me, please. Papa looks sick, you're shaking, what…"
"Do you remember a couple of years ago, you came home from school unexpectedly because they lost heat and you had a break? It was February, just after my birthday, and you walked in on your father and I having a romantic dinner. You asked us why and we said because we were in love, do you remember?"
Lida nodded, "Yes, but you two do things like that all the time."
"But that night was special," Maria explained. "That was our 20th anniversary, our actual 20th anniversary."
"What are you talking about. Your anniversary is in August."
When the family moved to America, Georg and Maria requested the older children consider the day the Baroness left the villa as their anniversary in order to protect Lida from rumors or anything unpleasant surrounding her birthday. The youngest ones didn't understand, and the older ones loved their sister so much altering the marriage date made sense to them. They didn't want anyone to face any additional challenges.
"No," Maria replied. "It's in February, five months before you were born."
Lida took that in and took a steadying breath, "Okay. So, you weren't the virginal bride that everyone suspected you were. You and Papa are human, you had an accident. Are you saying you'd not have married if you didn't get pregnant with me? Are you afraid that I might make the same mistake and have to marry Will instead of wanting to?"
"No," Maria rushed. "No, this has nothing to do with that. Besides, your father and I were very much in love when we got married, but it was necessary to do it quietly and quickly. I was two months along before I even realized I was expecting you. You see, I didn't remember the night you were conceived until I'd been so ill from the morning sickness your father called the doctor."
"So, you were drunk? Didn't you remember Papa? You both couldn't have been that trashed you didn't remember having sex with a person you were supposed to love," Lida posed the question to Georg who was slowly regaining his composure.
"Your mother wasn't drunk," Georg said, softly his voice thick with emotion. "And I…I wasn't there, Lida. I wasn't there when you were conceived, your mother was…Your mother had no choice in your conception."
"My mother had no choice in my conception," Lida repeated. "Is that a disgustingly formal way of telling me Mama was raped? I'm a rape baby?"
Maria shut her eyes and held onto Lida's hands. "You are my baby, and that's all I ever saw you as. My first, precious little flower that I have loved for so long. How you got into me was irrelevant to me and your father, we both love you so much."
"What does this have to do with Will though? Are you worried because he's older he'll try to hurt me?" Lida asked thinking to herself how much sense Maria's behaviors made now. She was terrified of being a victim again, terrified that her daughters might be victims.
"No," Maria assured her. "We don't think William is a bad man, not at all, but…His father was a native Austrian. He fought for the Reich during the war, he supported the Anschluss. Your father's name is Jakob Braun, William's last name is Brown, anglicized from Braun, Lida."
Maria watched the recognition floating in Lida's eyes. "Braun…is German for Brown, William is…oh my God…oh God…" Lida screeched and covered her mouth with her hand. "He's my…He's my…"
Georg took a deep breath, it was time to bring this home once and for all, "Yes, Lida, William is your half-brother."
A/N: And there you have it, the big reveal! What's Lida's reaction going to be when it all finally sinks in. I'm thinking some of you might guess, others might not, but either way, I hope you feel it's worth the wait. That chapter is coming up tomorrow. I promise.