CSI: Sanctuary: Chapter 14

For the most part, the bar was quiet. Greg looked around the small, hole-in-the-wall place, grateful for that quiet. Thinking back, it had been awhile since he'd been in a bar. A long while. The last time he would have been unhappy at being able to hear the soft clinking of glasses and idle chit chat among the patrons. But this time, years later, he had to applaud Bobby Dawson's choice of a place where they could have a serious conversation and where no cop was likely to walk in and overhear it.

"He's brought her over a few times," Greg said taking a sip of his beer. "And yeah, I really do like that. I feel like I finally have the family I've always wanted but never realized I wanted. I never saw children in my future before. Just a husband I thought I would never get."

"How does that feel, to finally get what you've wanted?" Bobby was smiling from the other side of the hidden booth.

"Well..." Greg pondered the question. The obvious answer was right on the tip of his tongue, but another was right behind it. "It... I love it... but, at the same time, I don't know what this will do to Cara. I'm worried. Nick hasn't said anything about making his decision. At the same time, we can't keep going on like this, especially if we're including Cara. Just give her another year or two and she's going to understand everything that's going on. And then what? She's still so young. She understands that she can't talk about me when she's with Kristy, but, someday she'll slip and say something. Aside from that, it's just not the way for a child to live."

Bobby nodded and gulped down the last of his own beer. "While she's with you and Nick, how is she? I mean, does she accept you as another parent? Does she really like you?"

Greg grinned. "Yeah. She totally does. She listens to me like I'm some God or something. I've never had that in a kid before. I would do anything for her Bobby. Anything. She's such a sweetheart. All she wants is for everyone around her to be happy. And she tries so hard."

"Maybe that comes from her home life?"

Greg shook his head. He couldn't go there with him. Again, Nick had told him things that no one else...

"I know what's going on, Greg. There's no point in hiding it. I promised you I wouldn't say anything to anyone and I won't. But you need to understand that I know her life isn't as good as it could be. Neither is Nick's. Maybe some of his other friends and coworkers don't want to see it. But I do."

Greg looked up in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"That bruise he got awhile back... that didn't come from a bar fight. Did it?"

Unwillingly, he shook his head.

"I didn't think so."

"I worry about him so much. Sometimes I feel like I'm being overwhelmed by it. If he's not trying to be the hero at work and nearly getting himself killed, he's at home with Kristy, and... if he won't retaliate against her and Cara's too little to fight back... I just wish making this decision was easier for him. I would feel better. I know that much. Tell me, what was it like for you? I wish I could read his mind, that he would talk to me about this. I'm trying not to sway his decision making, but it's hard. And I can't help him if he won't talk to me."

"Mary didn't become abusive or violent, so I don't know if I can say what's going on in Nick's mind. When I discovered Jack, and we'd figured things out, I went to Mary and had the talk with her. Essentially I broke up with her. She felt better about herself, actually, about us, when I came out. For her, it meant the bad sex wasn't her fault. She almost laughed, said it was just like her to end up married to a gay guy. We parted on good terms. Thank God. So my kids do get to see her on occasion. She moved back to New Jersey to be with her family and for the most part the kids live with Jack and I."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It really wasn't. Mary was a good mother. She loves our children. That's what made the choice so difficult for me. As for Nick, I really can't say what's keeping him there. I wish I could say that if I were him I would have left ages ago, but I can't. Something, perhaps some form of guilt or something, is keeping him there. Maybe once you figure that out, you can help him with his decision."

"Maybe."

"You also have to consider that he's from Texas. That's the deep south and his family is pretty prestigious in Dallas. For them, it would be a crime if one of their children ever came out as being gay and in a relationship with another man, especially while he's married with a daughter. That might be another reason he can't commit full time to you. It's a hard line to walk. You've had it easy your whole life growing up in California. He hasn't."

Greg stared down into his empty glass. He didn't want to admit that Bobby was right. But he was right. And that just added another layer of difficulty to everything.

"Warrick keeps giving me the evil eye, every time I see him. He thinks I'm trying to corrupt Nick into liking me and leaving his family."

"He just doesn't know what Kristy's really like. That's all."

"I know, and that's what bothers me. I wish Nick could just come out and tell everyone, but, I know he can't. Bobby..." Greg looked up at his friend, feeling lost and tortured inside, as if someone had grabbed hold of his heart in a tight grip and twisted it until it couldn't pump his blood anymore. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if he doesn't make a decision soon. I don't know how much longer I can hold out."

"Look, I know you're trying to let him make his own decision and I know I said that was a good idea, but Jack and I have been talking recently, and we think it's time for an intervention. Things have gone too far. He needs to see what's going on. He needs to realize that the life he's living right now is no longer safe and adequate for himself and for his daughter. He's putting her life at risk. If you really care about him as much as you say you do, then you need to step in and take some action."

"I want to do something. I've wanted to for so long... I just don't know what to do."

"At least talk to him for starters. If you need backup, Jack and I will be right behind you. Sometimes it takes several people all at once to help someone see the truth. He's holding out for better days, but they're not going to come if he stays with her."

"But he doesn't even know you know... and he doesn't know Jack. Won't that just..."

"It'll be fine. Hey, I figured both of you out on my own. You didn't have to tell me anything, so you're not at fault here. And, I think once he sees our somewhat similar situations, and sees that we all care about him and his daughter, I think he'll come around."

Greg took a shaky breath, wanting to trust his friend, but still unsure how everything would play out in the end.

"It can be done, Greg. But it won't be easy."

"I'd do anything for him. I swear to God I'd die for him if I had to."

"Next time you see him, talk to him. Voice your concerns and be truthful about it. Tell him how worried you are. This won't take just one conversation though. You'll probably have to revisit the topic many more times. But tell him you have friends who've been in a similar situation. If you can gently suggest there are others who will back him up and support him, it might help."

Greg slowly nodded. He could do this. He needed to. For Nick. For Cara. For himself. For all of them, as a family. He had to.

Greg changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a new t-shirt as Catherine walked into the locker room. Nick was planning on following him home so he could get some proper sleep after pulling a double with his supervisor. He sat on a bench, ready to go, looking like he was going to fall over. He'd been stretched thin, between his family, Greg, and working a different shift from his lover. At least when he was at Greg's, he got good sleep and good food to keep him going.

"Hey, Nicky, tell Cara I said happy fourth birthday, will you?" Catherine asked.

"Sure thing."

Greg left the building first, Nick following close behind. When they'd reached the parking lot, Greg whirled around with a smack to Nick's face.

Nick just stood there, eyes blinking as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.

"It's her birthday and you're not going to spend it with her?"

"She's at daycare."

"So her mother isn't even spending the day with her? You didn't even tell me it was her birthday!"

"Well..."

Greg opened his car door. "Get in."

"What?"

"Get in. Now."

Nick did as he was told. Sitting in the passenger seat of Greg's Jetta, he looked a little uncomfortable as Greg pulled out of his space.

"Tell me how to get there."

Nick sighed and began giving him directions to her daycare.

"She needs to have a cool birthday. You can't just leave her hanging."

"I'm sorry. Kristy and I had a fight about it... about what we were going to do."

"Well, here's what WE'RE going to do. We can check out the Tangiers for their aquarium, grab lunch there too. They have a little ice cream shop in there. After lunch we'll, drop her back off at daycare, head back to my place and you can get some sleep before work. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect. Thanks. I really need..."

"You need to grow a backbone. No offence. But you're not doing a very good job standing up for what you want with her." Taking a deep breath, Greg realized he felt better after having gotten that off his chest.

Nick stared at his hands folded in his lap. "Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I'm unconsciously trying to tell myself something."

Greg glanced over at him and their eyes locked for a second. "Maybe you are. And maybe you should be listening to your conscious. We're here."

Inside, Nick introduced Greg as his coworker to Diana, the daycare owner, and explained why they were there.

"Oh, of course she should get to spend her birthday with you! Will Mrs. Stokes be joining in the festivities?"

"Oh, um... well..." Nick stammered.

"She had to work today, so I'm kinda filling in," Greg jumped in.

"That's good. She could use some positive reinforcement in her life. Let me go get Cara. I'll be right back."

"Uh, G? What did she mean by that?"

"It means exactly what you think it means, but don't want to acknowledge. Just shut up about it for right now. We can talk about it later, but not in front of Cara."

"Daddy!" The little girl came bounding into the room, giving her father a warm hug, and the smile that filled Nick's face was enough to power the universe.

She turned to Greg, arms open wide and he accepted her hug with a smile of his own. "Hi Greg!"

"Hey there, kiddo. And how are you doing?"

"Okay."

While he talked to Cara, Nick asked about borrowing a car seat from Diana. "I forgot to get hers from my car," he explained when Diana went to get one.

"Not like I gave you an opportunity. Sorry about that."

In a matter of no time they were headed toward the Tangiers, explaining to the little girl what their plans were for the day. The moment she heard about the aquarium, she began jumping up and down in her car seat as much as she could while clapping her hands.

"See? I told you this was a good idea."

Nick was continuing to smile. This was a very good idea.

Greg paid for three tickets and Nick bought three ice cream cones.

"Isn't it too early for ice cream, G?"

"Not when it's her birthday. Besides, she'll be going back to daycare later so you can get some sleep, remember?"

When Cara saw the first fish in the gigantic tank she nearly lost her ice cream as she squashed her face against the glass to watch the orange fish float by.

"Thank you for this," Nick said, as they watched her run around, excited.

"Don't mention it."

Her father ended up holding onto her cone and eating it before it could melt all over his hand. She was more interested in the fish than the ice cream, each new amazing color that swam past grabbing her attention.

"Oh! Oh! Daddy! Look!"

"Yeah, I see that, honey," Nick said, keeping his eyes on her, but also on the crowd around them, as if he were expecting to see someone he knew.

Greg reached out to take his hand and ensure him that no one would recognize them, but pulled back in time before he could actually make the move.

"If you really care about him as much as you say you do, then you need to step in and take some action."

If he could muster up the courage he would sit Nick down the moment they got home and have that important talk with him, if only so he could eventually hold his hand in public without having to worry about someone seeing them.

An hour later while Greg waited outside the bathrooms with Cara, he felt himself growing more and more nervous. Without Nick there to be nervous for him, he was taking over the job for both of them, keeping his eyes peeled for anyone who looked even remotely familiar. Holding the small hand of Cara, who stood by his side, waiting for her father to return from the bathroom, he could feel hers slipping from the sweat of his own.

"Sanders?"

Greg whirled around to see Warrick with a beautiful woman. She left his side and headed into the bathroom as Warrick looked between Cara and Greg.

"Um... hi... yeah... um..." His heart began to pound erratically. Was sweat dripping from his forehead already? How scared did he really look? "I was just here waiting for a friend of mine, and I ran into Nick, who asked me to watch Cara for a moment. Yeah."

Warrick's eyebrow went up. "How come I don't believe you?"

"Sorry, I'm just so nervous. I don't want it to look like we're together, together. Like, you know, gay or something. Cause we're not. And it would only get us both in trouble, and... Nick would hate that."

"Tomorrow, when you get into work, I think you and I need to have a little talk." Warrick loomed over him, his eyes squinting at Greg as if he would just as soon squash him like a bug than have a talk with him.

The door behind Greg opened and a figure stepped through. "Hey, G, do you mind if we..." Nick stopped mid-sentence when he saw Warrick.

Quick thinking had Greg turn to face him. "I still haven't seen Jeremy," he said, pretending to search for the mystery friend. "Since he seems to be late, and he's not answering his phone, I'm gonna guess he found a girl. You mind if I hang out with you two for the rest of the day? I mean, I got out of bed for this, you know?"

"Then why don't you go back to bed," Warrick said, a little heat in his voice.

"No, no. It's alright." Nick jumped to his defense. "We're just gonna be wandering around here for awhile. If you don't get bored, I'm sure Cara won't mind."

"Thanks Nick." Greg made sure to give him a warm smile, doing his best to get rid of the deer in the headlights look on Nick's handsome face.

"So, Warrick, what are you doing here?"

"Just taking my girl for a nice breakfast out on the town. You?"

"It's my birthday!" Cara finally spoke up. "I came to see the fish!"

"Well, did you now? You like the fish?"

"I want a fish! Daddy? Can I get a fish? I want a whole tank of them!"

"Oh, I don't know about that, sweetie. I think you're going to have to talk to your mother about that one."

"Awwww."

The beautiful woman who'd arrived with Warrick appeared from the bathroom and he introduced her to his coworkers as Tina, his latest in a long string of girlfriends, yet the one he'd been with the longest so far. Both wished Cara a happy birthday before they parted ways.

Greg sighed in relief once they were gone. Going jogging with Nick in public was nothing like hanging out at an aquarium. The whole fish scene, complete with his daughter, was so domestic, rather than buddyish.

Jogging buddies, Greg reminded himself. In public, off the clock, they were nothing but jogging buddies.