CSI: Sanctuary: Chapter 15

Nick had learned well, as a rookie officer with the Dallas Police Department, how to hide his emotions. While sometimes they were so overwhelming there was nothing he could do, most of the time he was good about keeping them in control. By now though, Greg knew all the signs that pointed toward an impending break down. Just after they'd parted ways with Warrick and Tina, they began to show themselves and when he and Nick had reached his apartment Nick was already fidgeting in the passenger seat, even while his eyes were closed.

Greg turned the engine off but didn't get out of the car."You want to talk about it?"

Nick didn't say anything for a long time. Nor did he make a move to get out of the car either. Greg sat with him, keeping his own thoughts to himself. He knew if he said anything about Warrick's veiled threat, Nick would take action and it wouldn't end well. He had to learn to stand up to Warrick, care for Nick, yet keep their relationship under wraps better at work. At the same time, he needed to take Bobby's advice and try to help Nick see that his relationship with Kristy was damaging to him and Cara. Now was as good a time as any if they were going to have a serious conversation, and if he wanted to save Nick and Cara, there was nothing else to do but start talking.

"I'm faking everything, for everyone," Nick blurted into the silence, followed by a shaky sigh.

Startled, Greg asked, "What do you mean?" He was the one who was supposed to start the difficult conversation. Not Nick.

His hands had turned to fists, as if to control his emotions. Perhaps even he knew he was

going to have a breakdown if he didn't do something to calm himself. Greg watched his

jaw line tighten.

"What do you think?" Nick sounded stressed out and upset. "I'm attempting to live two different lives and you're the only one who knows the truth about anything. It's killing me. I don't think I can keep this up. I hate it. I hate Kristy. I never loved her, and the longer I stay with her, it's not gonna help. I know that." He paused for a moment, then said, "I think I should get a divorce."

"Are you sure?" Was he really saying what Greg thought he was? His heart began to pound harder again, in excitement... happiness. Maybe he wouldn't have to have that conversation after all.

"I never told you, but she found your apartment keys once and asked who I was doing on the side."

Greg sat up, eyes zeroing in on Nick's face. He looked cool and calm, but his eyes were locked on a piece of dust on the dashboard, and his voice was wavering slightly.

"I covered it, told her they were for work. I think she believed me, but she's not stupid. She may be a bitch most of the time, but she's not stupid. If she hasn't figured it out yet, she will soon. I'm..." Nick swallowed a lump in his throat, his Adams apple bobbing hard. "I'm scared shitless of what will happen when she does find out for real, especially when she finds out it's you, and not another woman."

"Nick, if she doesn't care how happy you are, or how happy her own daughter is, then she's not worth your time. To be truthful, I've been worried about both of you. I want you to be safe at home, and happy."

Still staring at the same piece of dust Nick said, "You're so good with her... but I don't want... I'm scared I'll hurt you... " his words trailed off into an uneasy silence.

"Huh?" When had this come up? And why hadn't Greg realized this was something obviously blocking Nick's decision making? "You're scared you'll hurt me how?"

"I read a statistic that said most men who cheat on their wives will go on to cheat on the new woman once they've divorced the wife. I don't want to hurt you that way." Nick spoke to him, but he still wouldn't look at him.

"You won't, Nick."

"How do you know?"

"You're not naturally promiscuous. If you were, there would have been a score of women before I came along. Besides that, you're old fashioned. You actually believe in things like true love, which is very admirable in a man of modern times. But you obviously didn't find it when you married Kristy, so your instincts still have you on the hunt for it. That's all."

Nick could only blink as he took in his boyfriend's words.

Greg reached out, took the man's chin in his hand and forced Nick to look at him. "I'll do anything to make you happy, anything to make Cara happy. Whatever you want, I'll do it."

"You would? You really mean that?" Nick was suddenly a lot closer than he had been.

"Yes." Greg struggled to draw a breath of oxygen into his lungs. When had the air gotten so dense? "Nick?"

"Yeah?"

Soft, warm lips brushed against his, Nick's breath colliding with his own. The kiss deepened in an instant leaving his mind hazy with want and need.

"Tomorrow, when you get into work, I think you and I need to have a little talk..." Warrick's voice echoed, unbidden, in Greg's mind. "Keep your feelings to yourself. He's worked hard to get where he's at, and I don't want anyone tearing that apart." He pulled away from Nick.

"Greg?"

He found himself staring into his lap. How could Warrick do this to him? Didn't he see how much Nick needed him? Why did he have to be so negative?

"What just happened? You were right there with me and then...?"

Greg shook his head. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

"Warrick said something to you, didn't he?"

"No. Let's just go upstairs."

Nick didn't move. "I know he talked to you that day he caught us having coffee together but he wouldn't tell me what he said. Will you tell to me about it? If there's anything I can do... if he's causing you trouble, I can talk to him, get him to lay off you."

"He thinks I'm going to ruin your perfect marriage because I have a crush on you... oh God... what if I... what if I did..." He didn't want to think he'd corrupted Nick, but there was still the chance he'd done something unconsciously that let Nick know he liked him as more than a friend and coworker.

"You didn't do anything. I never did care about her. Not even the one night we had sex."

His dream was becoming a reality and all of a sudden it didn't seem right. Greg turned to stare out the window at the car parked next to his. He wasn't anything special. Why Nick would choose him, over someone else, someone more good looking, he wasn't sure. He turned his right hand over, palm up, and fingered the small scar that remained there from the explosion. He'd done everything he could for Nick because... because he cared about him. And maybe, just maybe, the more he did for him, the less likely Nick would be to care about the scars, to even notice how ugly he was.

"What do you need?" Nick asked, rubbing a hand over Greg's shoulder.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"From me. You've been taking care of me a lot lately, making sure I don't go insane for the past two years. I don't feel like I've done nearly enough for you and I'm sorry for that. What do you need from me?"

"Nothing. I told you." Greg pulled away from him and got out of the car.

Nick followed suit, and met him at the trunk. He reached out and wrapped an arm around Greg's waist, pulling him close, even as Greg tried to break free from his tight grasp.

"I'm not ashamed to be with you. I never should have been. If I'd asked you out the first moment I saw you, none of this ever would have happened. And I wanted to, but I was still too scared of my sexuality to do anything about it." Nick walked them to the front door, pulling his keys out of his pocket and letting them into the building. "You helped me realize what I really want in life. You did that, G."

But by the time they'd reached his apartment door, another nasty memory was playing games with Greg's mind. "I hit you," he said, as Nick let him in and closed the door behind them. "Oh God, I hit you..." He was horrified at the thought. "I'm turning into Kristy..." He turned away from Nick as his eyes filled with tears. Dear God, what had he done? How could he have done such a horrible thing?

"I deserved it, Greg." He heard Nick take a step closer and then his arms were wrapping around him again, holding him close. "I needed you to knock some sense into me. You were right. I need to do something about my life and I can't let her keep all the control. We're miserable together, and I know if it's not affecting Cara right now, it will down the road. She needs a real home."

Greg shook his head. He'd wanted this for so long. Was it really possible that Nick could divorce his wife and... and... No. No, it couldn't be. Kristy was much prettier. She had perfect skin, hadn't been blown to bits. Nick would be better off with her, then he wouldn't have to worry about the rest of his family every time Greg went out to a crime scene. Oh, why was he thinking these thoughts? Wasn't his goal to save Nick and Cara, his family, from Kristy?

Nick turned him around to face him and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Stop thinking like that. It'll only get you into trouble later."

How was it that Nick could read his mind so well? Especially when he was being negative? A lone tear slowly rolled down his face, but Nick's lips stopped it in its tracks.

"I'm really not anything special to write home about," Greg tried, unsure why he was pushing Nick away. "I'm just me. Not good looking by any means. Not a hero. I haven't done anything special, or cool, or anything."

"It's what's inside that counts, G. Haven't you heard that before? You've got the biggest heart out of everyone I know... except maybe Cara's. The two of you will have to battle that one out and you might just tie the battle in the end anyway. And what do you mean you haven't done anything special? Sure you have. You've been there for me every time I needed you. You gave me the strength to continue on when I thought all was over. That's who I would call my hero, if he'd let me." Nick kissed him again, their tongues colliding in Greg's mouth.

Before he knew what was happening, his clothes were being discarded on their way down the hall toward his bedroom. Nick stopped him in front of the full length mirror. Standing behind him, he wrapped both warm, strong arms around Greg's naked torso and pressed a kiss to his neck.

"Look at that," Nick whispered, pointing toward the mirror.

Greg looked. Compared to Nick he was hardly muscled. And where Nick was so handsome he had women lusting after him, he, Greg Sanders, looked so geeky, no one wanted to step within three feet of him. To top it all off, one nasty scar wrapped around his hip from his back, reminding him of what he couldn't see. However, despite all of his flaws, he was half hard already and he hadn't even been touched yet. Nick had the great ability to do that to him. Otherwise, what was there to look at?

"You're so handsome and beautiful." As Nick talked, his left arm held Greg tight across the chest, while his right hand roamed over his body, making him tremble, making him need to be touched even more. The warm hand slid down his smooth stomach, down past his hip, and over his thigh.

He let out a whimper at the touch, his need growing more and more evident as the seconds ticked by. It didn't help that Nick's nude body was pressed into his back, his erection bulging into his crease.

"See? Very handsome, just like I told you."

"Mmmm." Greg squirmed, arched his back as Nick's hand swirled over his thigh and came back up and over his hip. "Please," he begged. "Oh God, please touch me!"

"Only if you agree with me that you are good looking."

"I'm a horny geek. Though since the erection is all for you, I guess that would make me good looking."

"I'm not talking about that." Nick placed a kiss on his shoulder.

"What? You don't like my erection?" Greg sounded shocked, though he knew Nick would see right through his stupid joking.

"I meant the whole you," Nick whispered as he licked Greg's neck up behind his ear. "Not just your cock, though that is a very nice sight to see."

Greg shivered, moaning. "Please." He hated it when he had to beg. But loved it too. "Please make love to me."

"Not until you admit that it's you, the whole you, from your little toes up to your crazy ass hair, and everything on the inside, that turns me on."

Nick's thick cock shifted in the cleft of his ass. He squirmed, adrenaline rushing through his system, his heart pumping so fast and so loud he could barely hear anything else except Nick's heavy breathing in his left ear.

Greg nodded. It had to be true. Didn't it? Nick had been with him this long. He had seen him at his worst right after the explosion and had stuck around to take care of him. Or was this just his erection talking? He wasn't sure, but he was going to go along with it because at the moment it seemed he had no other choice.

Nick's lips met his skin just below the back of his neck where the largest scar marred his body before guiding him over to the bed. Together, they collapsed on the mattress, lips lost in a firm lock, tongues sliding together. Greg didn't notice Nick was fumbling for something in the nightstand drawer until a bottle and a condom wrapper appeared in his line of sight.

Nick broke the kiss. "You asked me to make love to you and I want to do it right this time."

Greg gaped at him.

"Turn over," Nick gently ordered.

On his stomach, he was prepared for a finger in his ass and was surprised to feel hands on his shoulder blades, smoothing his rough skin, massaging his damaged back. The warm hands swirled low before sliding back up, as those beautiful lips found scar after scar and kissed each one as if he was kissing them away forever.

He hadn't been expecting a massage out of Nick, and he was surprised at how sexy it was, how safe and comfortable it made him feel. He was in good hands and he knew it. Nick cared about him. There were no other words for it.

One hand left his skin, while the other paused, flat on the center of his back, grounding him to the fact that Nick hadn't left him and wasn't planning to.

An audible pop brought Greg's attention to the supplies Nick had taken from his nightstand. If it was possible, his erection seemed to grow tenfold just at that sound alone. Greg let out a low moan.

"Nick..."

A cool, wet finger finally arrived at his ass, pushing inside, even as he clamped down on it from the chilly lube. His heart caught in his throat. Nick continued to spill wet kisses over his back, while one hand spread his legs as wide as they would go, opening him for a second finger. He whimpered, his need rubbing against the bedding while Nick's fingers moved in a quick rhythm, eager to let another part of him take their place.

The fingers left him and while he knew what was coming, he was unprepared for the thick girth of Nick's cock teasing his hole.

"Oh God..."

"You want me to stop?" Nick paused, mid-thrust, hands cupping his cheeks, opening them further. "Just tell me."

"Don't you dare!"

Nick chuckled and thrust himself in a little further.

"Shit."

"You ok?"

"Oh yeah."

He could feel the gentle pressure of Nick's cock on his sphincter muscle and willed himself to relax, even as his nerve endings caught on fire within his body. The second ring of muscles loosened and his boyfriend was suddenly filling him to the brim.

"Oh!" He found himself gripping the sheets, his knuckles white, even as Nick remained unmoving within him, letting him get used to the feel of his cock.

The moment Greg began to breath easy, Nick pulled out and he was at a loss for words, a hiss the only sound to escape his lips.

Greg managed to push back, and within moments they'd set a fast paced rhythm. Oh, how he'd needed this! Tingles ran up his spine making him shiver and tremble in Nick's grasp as Nick fucked him hard and fast. Trying desperately to keep himself upright on all fours, Greg gasped, as Nick's hand reached around and took hold of him, pumping him to the rhythm of their bodies.

Without warning, his orgasm shuddered through him and he shot into Nick's hand, his muscles clamping tight around the shaft inside him. Nick let out a long moan while he was held tight inside his lover. Ready to collapse onto the bed, Nick held him up and continued to thrust into him for several more minutes until Greg felt liquid heat burst forth, filling him as Nick cried out.

When he was empty, Nick carefully lowered both of them back onto the mattress.

They rested there for a moment, letting their breathing synchronize and Greg pressed a kiss to Nick's neck. "Are you sure about this?"

"About what?" Nick's arm draped over him.

"About the divorce. We should to talk to Grissom if you are."

"Griss? Why?"

"He should know, Nick. Even if we are on different shifts." Greg rested his head against Nick's chest, running the palm of his hand along his boyfriend's torso. Greg didn't think he'd ever felt any closer to the other man.

"I'm sure about it. But, I don't think I can tell him."

"If we're going to be together on a permanent basis, he should know. He'll be ok with it. And you know he won't freak out. Not like Ecklie."

Nick's eyes slid closed.

"We can talk to him together. I wouldn't make you go in alone. I promise."

"I don't know."

Greg thought back to Bobby and what he'd told him. Taking a leap he said, "You know, if we do this, we won't be the only... well, I know someone who used to be in the same position you are."

"You do?" Eyes flew open. "Who?"

"I can't say. I promised not to out him. But I can tell you that he did divorce his wife, and is now living with his husband who adopted his two kids. It's been ten years since his divorce and he says he's the happiest he's ever been."

"Really?" Nick's eyes were beginning to water.

"Really."

Nick rested his chin against the top of Greg's head. "Ok," he said, letting out a rush of warm air across his hair.

Greg reached for the phone on the nightstand and started to dial a number.

"You're going to call him now?" Nick jerked upright, staring at Greg.

"The sooner we get this over with, the sooner you'll be able to relax, and the sooner things will return to normal."

"G, I can't relax. Nothing will return to normal. You're asking me to come out to my boss and admit I've been sleeping with a coworker, basically cheating on my wife for the past two years!"

Greg's thumb hovered over the last digit. "This is what you want, isn't it? You do want to live with me full time, right? And you want me to adopt Cara, correct?"

"Yes!"

"Then this is just part of the process." Greg hit the button and put the phone to his ear, listening to it ring.

"Grissom."

"Hey, Griss, it's Greg."

"Greg? What's up?"

How did one try to explain this to their boss? Now was not the time to clam up! Dang it! "Well, um, see, I need to talk to you about something. Nick and I do, actually."

"Nick?"

"Yeah. Um, would it be ok if we met between shifts in your office?"

Greg's hand found Nick's and held it in a tight grip.

"Sure, I don't have a problem with that. But, can I ask what this is about?"

"It's um, it's kinda personal. And really important. I'd rather not say over the phone."

Grissom seemed taken aback by his non-answer. He was slow to reply. "Alright. Is 11:30 tonight ok?"

"That's fine. I'll let Nick know and he can tell Catherine when he gets in. Thanks Griss. I really appreciate it."

He turned to face Nick after hanging up and told him the news.

"I don't think I can do this, G. What if Catherine asks what the meeting's about?"

"You don't have to tell her. It's ok to talk to Grissom before you come out to her, you know."

Somehow Greg managed to get Nick out of bed and underneath the spray of hot water in the bathroom. His plan was to get him clean and put him to bed for a few hours before he needed to be at work. However, even under the invigorating shower, Nick seemed a little out of sorts. He stood there, letting the water pummel him, as he stared at the cream colored tile.

"Kristy's going to flip out," he finally spoke, his voice sounding hoarse. "Never mind the rest of my family. Fuck. What if I lose Cara?"

"Why would you lose her? I don't want to really say anything here, but it seems to me that Kristy doesn't care much for either of you. But that's just my opinion." Greg squirted some shower gel into the palm of his hand and began to work it over Nick's back, kneading the knots that had formed under the skin, letting the soap work itself into a nice lather.

"It doesn't matter how she feels, whether she cares or not. Even if she doesn't want Cara, my parents would sue for custody of her."

"Can I ask why?"

"I married Kristy because to my parents, that's what you do when you get a girl pregnant. Even if you hate her. That's what they drilled into my head. They would rather kill me, than let me be with another man, especially if I'm going to bring Cara into a gay relationship. That's just how they are. They would be the ones to take her away from me and raise her themselves. They wouldn't let me near her. I don't want to admit this... but I'm scared to tell them."

Greg left a kiss on his shoulder. "If what we have is real, we'll make it through this in one piece. Together." He reached around to wash his chest.

Nick's body began to tremble. He was crying, trying desperately to control himself, even as he grabbed Greg's arms, and hung on for dear life. Greg only held him closer, tighter, letting him get everything out, hoping and praying their meeting with Grissom would go well. He needed this so bad, yet he knew Nick had more on the line. He had to be the strong one, and it wouldn't be an easy trip. For either of them.

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter! As you can see, there's a lot going on all of a sudden. Things are coming to a head here, but the next chapter holds a surprise! Will the boys get to have that meeting with Grissom and will it go according to plan? Or will someone get in their way?

You'll just have to wait to find out. Sorry folks, but I'm on vacation for a week and a half without internet access, though I plan to do a lot of editing while I'm gone, so when I come back, I should (with luck) be done and ready to post the remaining chapters! Yay!