Hi again. So I know I haven't updated this in a while but you should not complain at me. This is kinda a 'at the authors leisure' series of one-shots. Not to mention I have very good reasons for being away. I won't trouble you further with my whining, on to the story.

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Story Stats:

Title: Why Shikamaru is Never At Lunch

Summery: Shikamaru is friends with Ino, who has the same loud voice as Naruto, who is friends with Gaara, who is the brother of Temari, who is a new friend of Shikamaru's... It must be high school. "Subaku Temari, you will be partnered with Shikamaru-kun, as you seem to get along well."

Pairings mentioned (this does not mean that the pairing is supported in this story): ShikaXTem, NaruXSaku, ShikaXIno

Placement in storyline: Before 'Why Sasuke Hates Sai'

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Shikamaru Nara cursed school thoroughly as he walked home. It really wasn't worth it. A large building full of students who care way too much about the stupidest things, teachers who were worth about as much as a dime on the road, and lunches that seriously needed to be checked for toxic waste contamination. The last one he could probably do something about. He could pack a bento box at home in the mornings and bring it to school, but that would require him to get up at least ten minutes and fifteen seconds earlier, and he really couldn't be bothered. He would much rather sleep for a little longer.

He pulled a cigarette out of the small box in his pocket. He knew he should quit, but he really didn't want to bother. The cancer rate for two years of smoking was only 8 percent, and he didn't feel like those odds were bad enough for him to put effort into quitting. Ino Yamanaka was always on him about his smoking habits, but a few cigarette a day wouldn't kill him. Shikamaru pulled a cheep lighter out of his pocket and prepared to light the end of the tobacco stick in his hand. He covered the lighter and cigarette with his other hand and brought his thumb to the switch that would bring flame.

It was then that he first saw her. She was walking towards him with two boys. One boy seemed to be around Shikamaru's age and he had light brown hair peaking out from the hood of his jacket. The other one was young, maybe a freshman but probably a middle schooler. His hair blazed a the color of blood. The girl had hair that was a dark blond, bordering on a lighter brown, and she seemed to have stuck it into a pair of overly spiky pigtails. She looked was laughing at something that the elder of the boys had said, eyebrows raised in amusement. The younger one was sulking in the background and Shikamaru could only assume that there was a joke made at the youngest boy's expenses that the Nara had missed, not that he minded. It was none of his business what this small group of teens were saying. Shikumaru was too busy studying the group out of the corner of his eye that he didn't notice how close there were getting to him. When he finally flicked the lighter and brought the flame alive they had almost met him on the sidewalk. This would have been fine, they would have passed each other without indecent, but that girl had been laughing hard enough to veer her off course. She bumped his arm.

The lighter, now fully lit, slid up. A small orange flame, that was carefully controlled just a few seconds before, left a hefty burn mark on his hand. And he hadn't even lit his cigarette yet. He grunted at the pain in his palm and dropped the flame. As it landed it sputtered out, but Shikamaru barely noticed. He was a bit busy with his hand. The girl was already gesturing her apology, still barely able to breath from the joke that one of her boyfriends told her. Her eyes were filled with tears of laughter. Shikamaru glared at her, nursing his burnt hand. "What the hell? Watch where you are walking, woman." That stopped her laughter right away. She glared back at him through watering eyes with a ferocity that reminded him of his overly pushy mother.

Shikumaru knew, somewhere in his analytical mind, that this girl wasn't to blame. He could blame the taller of her boyfriends for telling a joke that was that funny on the street where she could stumble into something. He could also blame himself for smoking in the first place, but he really didn't want to do that. Besides, the damage of his heated comment was already done. The girl, who he really had no problem with when he thought about it, looked ready to kill him. Out of the corner of his eye Shikamaru saw both of the boys backing the girl up. All three of the angry teens had matching sea-foam eyes of varying shades. Part of his mind was calculating the statistics that all of a small group of friends have smiler eye colors, but Shikamaru really didn't pay attention to it. Partly because he didn't care and partly because of an angry voice demanded his attention.

"Don't speak to me like that! It was an accident Nara, you have no right to yell at me. So go back to your brooding and leave me alone!" At the use of his surname Shikamaru almost forgot about his burning hand. Cradling his injury he looked her up and down again. Dark blond pigtails, teal eyes, an impressive scowl. Had he seen her before somewhere? Had they talked? How did she know his name? He was sure he had never seen her before in his life. The best thing he could think of to do was ask.

"Do I know you?" That sent her on a rampage.

"Do you know me? Do you ever pay attention? I see you every single day. You walk into my stupid psychology class and you sit down next to me and fall asleep. Every day! Sensei hands out work, you sleep. Sensei lectures, you sleep. But you, you, are the one sensei praises for straight A's. What the hell is your mental condition?" Shikamaru tuned out the rest of her rant and focused on looking at her again. She wasn't even familiar, by looks anyway. But her voice was as familiar to him as the sun was to the flower. It was your classic 'loud blond' voice. That name had been made up by his best friend, Choji Akimichi, after it was observed that Ino and Naruto Uzumaki had the same voice. He almost groaned aloud. Were loud blonds everywhere in life? "Don't you roll your eyes at me! Stupid lazy ass. Always acting superior." Shikamaru decided that it was time she was quiet, so he interrupted her.

"Shut up Temari-san." Her mouth was open in shock for only a moment, much to Shikamaru's displeasure. He had been hoping to stun her long enough to get away. However, she did give him enough time to lean down and scoop up his lighter off the sidewalk. Then she was glaring again.

"What the hell? Did you know who I was that entire time? Were you just playing me for fun?" Before her anger could get out of hand again he answered her. He answered honestly which is something, he realized in hindsight, that he probably shouldn't have done.

"Not likely. You said that you sat next to me and the name next to mine on the seating chart Sensei uses to take role is 'Sabaku Temari'. Therefor, you are Temari-san." She just stared at him. He wondered if he should make his escape during Temari's thinking time. He thought that the boyfriends would be a problem, but he took notice that the boys had backed away and were leaning against the wall of the shop they stopped next to as they talked to each other quietly. They didn't seem to be worried about him hurting Temari anymore.

"What the hell?" hissed Temari and Shikumaru cursed his luck. While he was thinking about escape his chance to perform the act disappeared again. Sometimes he hated thinking about things. At least he knew that the best thing to do with Temari was to cut her off before she started on a rant of some kind. He let his eyes slide back to hers.

"What now, woman?"

"You only know me because you have memorized the seating chart? Who do you think you are?"

"Nara Shikamaru." With that he turned and headed towards his home. He could feel her disbelieving eyes on his back, so he raised his uninjured hand to the sky in a mock wave. "It's a drag, but I will see you in class." he called over his shoulder. He wasn't sure why, but he could feel her anger through his back. It left tingles of fear and raised hairs. Shikamaru found himself speeding up in order to make it out of the area before the explosion that was sure to come.

"What the hell?" Yup, the explosion happened.

"Troublesome woman." he muttered to himself. He had a feeling that he would be seeing much more of her then he would like, especially now that he had annoyed her. Temari was his very definition of annoying, right after Ino.

When he got home he formed a battle plan, because he found that having a plan was the best thing to do in a situation like this one. He sighed and thought it over as he ran his hand under cold water from the tap. Shikamaru realized that he knew almost nothing about Temari. She seemed to have a short temper and a loud mouth, although not as loud as Ino or Naruto. If she was as loud as one of those two he would have known that she sat nest to him in class. He needed to do some research. He groaned at the thought of extra, and sadly self-appointed, work. After he decided on a course of action he turned off the water. Shikamaru examined his hand only to find a faint burn scar on the center of his palm. The Nara scowled. He even had a souvenir to remember this troublesome day by. With a sigh he headed to his computer.

Shikamaru's computer was his pride and joy, or it would have been if it really belonged to him. It was actually his fathers. Shikaku Nara was a computer programmer by trade and had brought home this state of the art machine from work a few months ago. Shikumaru had wasted no time getting himself used to the large screen and high processing speeds. Now the Nara boy sat down to hack into the school files. It took him five minutes.

He had barely peeked into the files when his dad walked through the front door. Shikaku walked into the room with a grunt and a hello. Shikumaru nodded in his fathers direction, eyes glued to the computer screen and a look of disgust on his face. Shikaku took note of this and fixed his son with a weary stare.

"Whatcha' doing?"

Shikumaru didn't lie to his dad. He had never bothered to. "It's a drag, but I'm looking into this girl that I pissed off on accident." Skikaku raised his eyebrows and leaned towards his son in interest.

"You got girl problems?" Shikumaru glanced up at his father. He recognized that voice from his childhood. It was the same voice that Shikaku had used when his son first kissed a girl. Well, the girl had kissed him, but to Shikaku it had made no difference.

"Not in the way you are thinking." Shikaku sighed and shook his head at the teenager.

"You know, if you like her you should stop doing research and just talk to her." Shikumaru just glared at his father and Shikaku laughed before walking into the kitchen. "Don't let your mother catch you hacking again. Troublesome woman will take away that computer." he called. His son just sighed and returned to reading about the Subaku family, and ultimately Temari.

Temrai had two younger brothers, Gaara and Kankuro. They were the two 'boyfriends' that were with her and it took Shikumaru only a few seconds to figure this out. Gaara was the youngest one, Kankuro the next up. Their mother was deceased and their father appeared to be under surveillance by social workers. Temari had A's and B's all her life, Kankuro was an average student, and Gaara seemed to have trouble in school. Additionally, Gaara went to the office daily to take anti-depressants. Shikamaru couldn't help but feel a little bad for Temari. Her little brother had several trips to Juvenile Hall and countless referrals for everything from assault to defiance. Apparently the used to live in Suna and go to Sunagakure, but Gaara got kicked out so they moved to Konoha last year. No wonder Temari was so quick to anger. She had to deal with her little brother every day at home.

After a while of thinking the only plan he could come up with was to ignore her and sleep the easy Psychology class away like usual. Maybe a greeting at the beginning of class to ease her wounded ego? He wasn't sure, but it was worth a try.

On the fated day he walked into Ibiki's Psychology class just after the bell rang, like usual. And like usual he moved to his seat next to Temari without comment to or from Ibiki, who was taking role. Unlike usual, Shikamaru turned his head, raise a hand in greeting to the glaring blond.

"Hey."

And then, like usual, Shikamaru put his head down and fell asleep. The entire class stared at him in shock. Shikamaru Nara had just acknowledged someone. Shikamaru Nara had just acknowledged Temari Subaku. After a moment Ibiki cleared his throat and continued to call role. As he spoke curious eyes turned towards Temari, who was just as shocked as the rest of them. Ibiki finished role and moved on to the project they would be getting that day. As he called for attention teenagers slowly and reluctantly turned to him, still glancing at Temari as though she was a goddess.

Ibiki explained about their project, a report, poster, and some sort of model on the human emotions. A partner project. And Ibiki himself would be picking their partners for them. As Ibiki read down the list Temari waited for her name to be called, but when it was she was annoyed beyond measure.

"Subaku Temari, you will be partnered with Shikamaru-kun, as you seem to get along well."

Temari blanched as people stared at her openly. She did not get along with him at all. He was beyond obnoxious and lazy and he got under her skin. She tried to deny any relation at all between her and the sleeping boy next to her, but Ibiki had already moved on and she ended up sputtering to open air. After a moment of anger and self-pity she resolved to at least make the Nara work. With that resolve Temari turned to wake up her partner.

She stared at him, hoping that it would have the same effect on him that it had on her brother Kankuro. If you looked at him too much while he slept he would just wake up, Gaara, the insomniac he was, thought this was great fun and would spend some of his nights waking up Kankuro five minutes after every time he would fall asleep. It didn't work on Shikamaru though and Temari was forced to poke him. At first she just poked his head and his arms gingerly, but that gave her no reaction so she poked harder. After she was poking so hard she thought she might be giving him bruises she had to stop. It was then that she got an idea. She poked his sides, right above his hips. The Nara boy jumped up with a suppressed shriek. Temari smirked. Genius boy was ticklish.

When she tickled him and shook him from a great dream about flying, Shikamaru glared at her. No one knew he was ticklish. No one at all. Not even Ino, who had tried to tickle him on several occasions. Ino had not tickled him like that. The Nara boy was annoyed, and he chose to ignore the tickle indecent just a few seconds before, including all the teens watching with surprise. He instead focused on Temari.

"What do you want?"

"We have a project to do." she said with a self-important air about her. He frowned.

"No we don't."

"Yes, we do. It is a partner project."

Shikamaru smirked at that. She certainly didn't pay attention. "I always work alone on partner projects."

Temari glared at him. "It isn't my choice to be your partner. I would much rather work with Konan-chan or Hana-chan, but Ibiki-sensei chose the partners this time. You are my partner, like it or not. And believe me, I don't like it." Shikamaru was shaking his head at her sadly before she even finished.

"Ibiki-sensei doesn't assign partners to me. I always work alone."

"Well not this time." Temari said shortly. "And you only have yourself to blame. If you hadn't said hi to me when you walked in I bet Ibiki-sensei wouldn't have bothered to try to give you a partner."

Despite Shikamaru's hopes he realized that she was right. It made total sense. He had shown public familiarity with someone and Ibiki had reacted to it. Shikamaru didn't waste time and energy trying to deny it and he didn't bother to sensor his heavy sigh. He leaned back in his chair in annoyance and let out his favorite word to describe the scenario before him. "Troublesome." Temari glared in response.

"Alright Nara, you have already wasted ten minutes of our in class planning time arguing with me. Don't bother complaining any more. Let's get to work." He stared at her as if she was insane, she just ignored him and continued on. "We need to look up emotions. The textbook has the Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions in it, so we could start there. From there we should probably define more subsets of emotion. For the model I was thinking– Are you even listening to me?"

It was obvious Shikamaru wasn't he had put his head back down on his desk. He was about to drift off when she noticed. He groaned. He had almost escaped into dreamland. He was about to answer her when a jolt flew up his sides. He had not answered her fast enough. He was up in a flash and glaring at her.

"What the hell? Troublesome woman."

"I am not doing all this work by myself. You will help me. I know how to make your life miserable now, so you might not want to make me angry." She smirked when she hinted at his ticklish spots. Shikamaru mumbled a few choice curses before putting his head in one hand and leaning on the desktop.

"Fine. What a drag."

"Alright. Now, as I was saying, I think for the model we should do something with color. Color is closely related to emotion, so we could match the emotions to colors and perhaps paper mac-he shapes that represent the emotion well?"

"There is not a color or shape for every emotion." Shikamaru argued impatiently. "The only color proven to be directly linked to only one emotion is a high intensity shade of red, which is linked to aggressiveness."

Temari stared at him. "What, are you a walking, talking dictionary on the world or something?" Shikamaru looked uncomfortable at her open staring and confusion. And for once he felt inclined to answer. He also didn't want to. But she continued to look at him expectantly and he fell easily.

"I'm only so smart because I have an eidetic memory. So I guess I am kind of an encyclopedia. Troublesome really."

Temari smiled at him. "Not that troublesome. I would love to be able to remember everything."

Shikamaru gave her a severe look. "I remember everything. Even things I would rather not remember." Temari's smile faltered a little.

They sat in silence, each busy with their own thoughts when the bell rang. Temari jumped and looked up at the clock. The class had gone a lot quicker then she thought it would. Shikamaru had already flipped out his phone and was looking at her expectantly. She stared at him, confused.

"I need your number. It's a drag, but I should put it in my phone and text you so we can work on this project more." It took her a moment to remember her own cell phone number, but once she did she gave it to him. Even though he didn't need his phone to remember the number he typed it in and saved it as 'Temari-san'. He then sent her a quick text with just his signature so that she would have his number. After that he walked out with a wave. Temari gathered her things and followed him.

Shikamaru hated Physical Education class. He always had. Now that he had Gai for a teacher he hated it more. He refused to play a 'youthful' game of kickball and opted to walk the track around the field in his sweats. He found himself just a little more then glad when he got a text halfway through class, even if if was from someone as troublesome as Temari.

From: Temari-san
To: Shikamaru
Hey, I need help. I have to pass this test in Asumas class or I am doomed. What is sec^2Q(1-cos^2Q)=tan^2Q?

Shikamaru noted that she was in Algebra 2 before he sent her the answer. He knew full well he was cheating. He didn't care much. At least he had someone to talk to. His pocket vibrated again and he pulled out his phone.

From: Temari-san
To: Shikamaru
Thanks. Im not sure how Im gonna to make it through the year. I dont understand this stuff. :/

Shikamaru hesitated. He could offer to tutor her in math, but that would require work and seeing way too much of Temari Subaku. Way to troublesome for him, instead he opted to change the subject.

From: Shikamaru
To: Temari-san
Is there anything that you are good at?

He smirked to himself as he made yet another left turn. That should get her riled up, and off topic of asking him to do any work for her, tutoring or otherwise. His phone vibrated again.

From: Temari-san
To: Shikamaru
Im good at a lot of things! Very good at art.

Shikamaru was surprised for once. He hadn't pinned her as an artist. She wasn't as easy-going as most artists, but he really shouldn't be assuming anything. He wasn't as structured or focused as most geniuses. He texted back.

From: Shikamaru
To: Temari-san
Really? I think I should be the judge of that.

Shikamaru made another left turn as Naruto Uzumaki came running up to him. The boy was athletic, so it surprised Shikamaru that he wanted to come out and walk slowly in large circles with him. The blond grinned like a fox and Shikamaru began to get worried.

"So who are you texting through class?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow as his pocket vibrated, but he didn't reach for his phone. He would text her back when Naruto was gone.

"Temari-san." was the Nara's absentminded response. Naruto's eyes went wide.

"You mean Gaara-kun's scary older sister?" Shikamaru only had a second to wonder where Naruto had met Gaara Subaku. He discarded the thought for further investigation. He shrugged at the blond.

"If you think she is scary."

"Even Gaara-kun thinks so," Naruto said severely, "and he isn't scared of much."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "She isn't scary, just troublesome."

Naruto eyed the other boy worriedly. "Careful, you almost sound like you like her." Shikamaru was offended.

"You're ridicules Naruto-kun." Before Naruto could reply heatedly Gai called for everyone to go inside and quickly dress down. They headed in, Shikamaru ignoring the other boys rant on lunchtime. Ramen was Naruto's one true love, no matter how much he claimed to love Sakura Haruno. When Naruto moved away Shikamaru pulled his phone out of his pocket.

From: Temari-san
To: Shikamaru
Do you want to be the judge? Go to Kakashi-sensei's room if you have first lunch and I will show you how good my art is.

Shikamaru smirked and finished dressing down. He headed off the opposite direction of the cafeteria and off to Kakashi's room, where he would spend his lunchtime annoying Temari and judging her work. It sure beat the toxic-waste-like food the cafeteria served.

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I hope you enjoyed it. I did my best to get Shikamaru and Temari right, but I am not sure. Reviews are always welcome.

~Devil-Jess-chan