CSI: Sanctuary: Chapter 18

Greg ignored Warrick's comment and followed Grissom to his office where his supervisor shut the door, giving them room for a private conversation.

"I'm sorry Gris. I didn't mean to say all those things out there. If this will in any way affect Nick's job, please, let it fall on me."

Grissom didn't say anything. Instead, he walked to his desk where a dusty, dirt covered cassette recorder sat on top of his desk calendar.

A shiver ran up Greg's spine. He knew what it was, and he didn't want to hear it. He was afraid of whatever it was Nick had said. Maybe when he thought he was going to die he'd reclaimed his love for his wife. It would hurt like hell, and what would Greg do then? Sure he seemed like he hadn't at the hospital, but then he was a little out of it from the drugs they'd put him on, and he hadn't said much.

Greg backed away, reaching for the door handle.

"You need to hear this."

"No. He lived. He's fine. I'm fine. We're all fine. I don't think he would want anyone to hear it. He'll be embarrassed."

"I don't think so." Grissom pressed play.

The sound of electronic static filled the air for a brief moment and then Nick's voice came alive. Greg's hand gripped the door handle as his boyfriend asked whoever found his body and the tape recorder to send it to the Las Vegas Crime Lab. He left a message for his parents saying he loved them and that they'd raised him right. His siblings were mentioned also, before he turned to his newer family.

"Grissom, I know I've disappointed you, and I'm very sorry. You were a great supervisor, the best I've ever had. Honest. Catherine, you were a great supervisor too. But more than that you were a good friend, and I thank you for listening to me the few times I confided in you. We had some great times together, Warrick. And I did whip your butt at Mario Brothers that time you said I cheated. I never did. Maybe you let me win. I don't know. But thanks for the good times, man. Sara, I'm glad to have known you. Whether you knew it or not, you were like a sister to me. I hope you all live long, happy lives, even if I can't be there." Until now, Nick's voice had remained relatively calm. As calm as someone in his situation could be.

As he spoke his next words, however, he began to choke up. "Kristy, I'm sorry, but I never loved you. I only married you because I couldn't stand the thought of Cara growing up without me. I know you've been unhappy the same as I have, and I'm sorry." He paused for a few seconds too long. "Greg, I need you to do something for me. Please tell my daughter how much I love her and look after her for me, any way you can. I always knew you'd make a good father..." Nick trailed off and didn't say anything for another long moment.

"Someone important once told me I should follow my heart and I intend to do that from here to the end. Fuck everything else. Greg... I love you, very, very much. If I could go back in time and do things over, I would have chosen you the moment we met. I'm praying that time passes quickly so I can see you again soon, whether here or in our next life. Please know I love you with everything I have."

The machine clicked off leaving both men in silence. Greg stared at it in shock. Knowing Nick wanted him to take care of his daughter even if he didn't make it out alive, made Greg's hands tremble a little. Remembering the feel of the little girl in his arms clutching at his neck, he knew years later, as a single father, she would have been a constant reminder of his love for Nick. But Nick had survived, and they would be fathers together. His hand loosened on the handle and he stepped forward.

"This is what you were going to see me about, wasn't it?"

Greg nodded.

"I'm not going to play this for anyone else. You and I are the only two who've heard it."

Greg looked up at his boss. "You mean that?"

"Some people around here may have been blind. But I wasn't. I never said anything because I didn't know what to say. I would see Nick walk in looking upset and frustrated over something, but he would never talk to me about it. When he saw you, however, I noticed that his demeanor changed. Sometimes he would do a complete turn around. He was happy with you. You seemed to be helping him somehow and I didn't want that to change."

"Thank you," Greg whispered.

"You're welcome. Now, go take care of Nick. We can talk about your work situation later, but right now, he needs you."

"I don't know departmental policy. But I would like to know something a little definitive when I see him, now that the secret's out."

"Departmental policy states that a relationship cannot happen between two people on the same shift if they are a supervisor and a subordinate. He's not your supervisor and you're not his so I think you're ok. But, I won't be able to put you on the same cases. You also realize you work in a fishbowl. Everyone will know what's going on. They'll make judgements on even the littlest things you do. Once you're out, you're out."

"I read the book. I know what it can be like. Especially for us."

"What book?"

"I Love A Cop. I saw it on your desk a few months ago."

Grissom's face tinged red, but then he nodded, recovering quickly. "Good. We haven't discussed anything yet but Nick'll be getting some time off after this. When he gets back, I would like to suggest a trial period where we see how everything works out. If it doesn't, then we might have to switch one of you to another shift."

"I guess I can live with that." He hated the idea, though he had to admit, it did make sense, and he was grateful Grissom was giving them a chance.

There was a quick knock on the door and Catherine stuck her head in. "Can I come in? Or am I interrupting?"

"No, I think we're about finished. What's up?"

She came in and closed the door, turning to Greg. "How far were you both planning on taking this relationship?" She eyed him carefully, judging his facial expressions as if he were a suspect.

"We were looking long term. Permanent. If it worked out with Kristy I was going to adopt Cara. I'm not leaving him. You can't make me."

"Relax, I just wanted to make sure you were talking about the real deal and I also wanted you to know that whatever happens, I'll support both of you."

Only needing to take one step to reach her, Greg wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. "Thank you."

When he finally left Grissom's office just a few minutes later, Warrick was out in the hall waiting for him.

"Lost the job, didn't you." He seemed so sure of himself. "Well, better you than Nick."

Standing tall, knowing he had his supervisor and two coworkers' support, Greg said, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't make assumptions like that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a boyfriend who needs my attention."

"I don't know dear, I hope everything's alright. The last time we talked to that boss of yours he said he still hadn't found Kristy yet, or Cara. I know you're worried, especially after the ordeal you've been through. We're worried too. But I'm sure Kristy's just fine. She has to be. Maybe I should call him again. What do you think Bill?" Nick's mother turned to his father who sat in the corner of the room looking bored as she rattled on.

Oh, why did the hospital have to serve coffee 24/7 to keep her awake at this ungodly hour?

"You probably should." Finally given time to speak, Bill's anger returned. "These cops need to learn a few things. At least in Dallas they know what they're doing. Something must be wrong if she's not home with Cara at this ungodly hour. They swear this guy had nothing against Nick personally, but all the same, he could have taken them as well. That detective... what was his name again? Braise? Bruise? He needs to go back to the academy and relearn how to be a police officer."

Mrs. Stokes brought out her cell phone, shaking her head when her husband reminded her that she couldn't use it in Nick's room. Grudgingly, she gave her son a kiss on the cheek and said she and Bill were going downstairs to get more coffee and make the call. "Don't worry honey, we'll stay up with you tonight and make sure everything's ok."

He nodded, and let them leave him alone.

Sure, he'd been happy to see them when they'd first arrived, but now, all he wanted and needed was alone time with Greg. He knew it was time he grew that backbone his boyfriend claimed he needed and tell his friends and family the truth.

His parents didn't know Greg was taking care of his little girl because he knew they would take her away from him and he knew that would hurt Greg and his trust in him, more than anything else.

"Daddy!" Cara ran into the room. Her sad little face lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw him.

Why was she so sad for a minute? Wasn't Greg with her? "Hey pumpkin! What are you doing back here so soon?" Nick, happy to see her again, eagerly awaited Greg's arrival shortly after hers. They could at least have a short family moment before his parents returned.

"I met your lover tonight," Kristy's familiar voice sneered at him from the doorway where she stood with her arms crossed. "You want a divorce?"

"My... what?" How had she figured it out? What happened? Where was Greg?

Cara climbed up onto the bed with the help of her father's strength, and burrowed into the crook of his arm. Her body trembled in fear against his.

"I'm sorry Kristy... I meant to tell you..."

"Yeah, I bet you did. After the adoption papers were final. After you'd moved out of our house."

"This isn't easy for me either, you know?"

"That's what they all say."

"Neither of us are happy. You have to know that. I haven't been happy in a long time. I've only stayed this long for her." Nick rubbed his daughter's arm comfortingly.

"But what about me? Huh? You don't think I love you?"

He'd tried to stay calm, but she just wouldn't let him. "Do you? Because you have a very odd way of showing it." He was angry at her, but more than that he was just upset. He didn't want to have this argument in the hospital where anyone could overhear them, where Cara was within hearing distance, where he was stuck in a bed he couldn't leave, or at least get up to close the door, because Kristy didn't seem to care who heard her rant.

"He makes me happy. Don't you want me to be happy? I want all three of us to be happy, but obviously we're not accomplishing that by living together."

Kristy didn't say anything, just stood there and stared at him, a livid expression on her face. He did his best not to cry in front of her. He couldn't. He didn't want her to see his weak side. Instead, he prayed that Greg would arrive shortly. All he wanted was for Greg to hold him, keep him safe.

His wife blurred in front of him, and as she did, she began to yell something horrendous at him, something that bit at his heart and ate his soul.

Cara began screaming and crying into his hospital gown.

Greg was several doors down from Nick's room, but he didn't have to be any closer to hear the yelling and screaming. He debated whether or not he should intervene, but when the yelling got worse, he started toward the door.

Kristy was using as many swearwords as possible while she effectively ended things with her husband. As she stormed out of the room, her eyes dark and terrifying, small feet hit the tile floor and ran, stumbling after her.

"Mommy? Mommy!"

Kristy didn't stop or even slow down at her daughter's voice.

As Cara tried to run past Greg he scooped her up and rushed after Kristy.

"What do you think you're doing? This is your daughter. You're just going to leave her here? Without a single care in the whole world?"

Kristy spun around to face him, anger lighting her features.

"Mommy?" Cara reached out to her, while at the same time looking very scared.

"They both like you better than me!" she screeched. Cara turned away from her, eyes red rimmed, tears spilling down her cheeks. "So you can have them. I never wanted a dumb baby in the first place! He was just a good lay. Once. That's all. That's all I ever wanted. One night of amazing sex. But I got stuck in this boring, crappy life. I hate it. And now, I'm leaving it." Kristy stormed off toward the elevators at the other end of the hall.

Greg had been so wrapped up in his concern for Nick and Cara he'd failed to notice Warrick standing in the hallway until Kristy was gone.

"I'm sorry Greg," Warrick apologized, shaking his head. "I had no idea things were this bad. I was just so stuck on the idea that you seduced him, starting this whole avalanche, that I never even heard what you were saying back at the lab, what Kristy was saying. I shouldn't have said all those things to you. I'm sorry."

Greg adjusted Cara in his arms, trying to soothe her tears away. He gave a light kiss to her temple as her sobbing turned into sniffling.

"He didn't want anyone to know there was a problem. But honestly, he wasn't that good at hiding it, if you bothered to look."

"God, Greg. I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. Nick's the one who should hear that."

His tall coworker nodded at the little girl clutching Greg's neck. She wiped her runny nose on his shoulder.

"What's going to happen to her?"

Greg ran a hand over her back. "I'll look after her while Nick's here, if that's what you mean."

"What's the ideal situation you see after that?"

"We're a family, Warrick. Plain and simple."

"You would do that? You haven't been waiting for Kristy to leave with her so you could get Nick all to yourself?"

"I'm not that selfish. And I know he wouldn't handle it well without her. She's his whole life. She's the reason he hasn't divorced Kristy yet. And I wouldn't take her away from her father."

"He loves my Daddy," she said, turning to face Warrick while still in Greg's arms. "My Mommy doesn't love my Daddy." Another round of tears began cascading down her blotched face. "All she does is yell."

"Hey, hey, it's alright. Everything's gonna be alright," Greg soothed. "She's a part of Nick," he said to Warrick. "And whether she knows it or not, I love her too. How could I not?"

Tiny arms clung tighter to his neck.

"Look, I really have to go. I'll talk to you later, ok?" Greg turned to leave.

"Do you ever give yourself a break from playing super hero?"

"No time."

"Look, if you ever need me to do anything, babysit, grocery shop, whatever, you just let me know. Ok?"

He glanced back. "Thanks, Warrick. I appreciate it."

Greg then hurried down the hall and into Nick's room. Tears were flooding the other man's eyes and over-flowing onto the pillow behind his head. A sob escaped his lips when he saw Greg at his bedside holding his daughter.

Cara struggled free from his grasp to give her father a hug.

As he sat down on the edge of the bed he cupped Nick's face in his hand, wiping the tears away with his thumb. Nick then grabbed hold of him, pressing his palm into his wet skin as if it were the most comforting thing he'd ever known.

Sensing Warrick in the doorway, Greg leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to Nick's forehead, regardless. "I love you," he finally said for the first time out loud, heart beating wildly at the admission.

Nick looked up at him, eyes shining with fear. "I… I love you too," he blurted with a new rush of tears. "And I need you. I don't know what to do."

"We can figure things out together. I'm not going anywhere."

"Where's Mommy?" Cara asked a short while later, curled up beneath the blanket next to her father. "She scared me."

"I don't know. But I don't think she's coming back," Nick said, looking over at Greg.

His boyfriend reached out over the blankets and took his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. Their coworkers knew about them, and Greg had assured him several, including Warrick and both of their supervisors, were ok with it. His heart would have been at peace sooner, if it wasn't for the fact that his parents hadn't returned from their coffee break yet.

He wondered what Brass was telling them that was taking so long. He didn't think the detective would rat him out, even if he'd known, and by now the entire department must have known about Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders, the gay crime scene investigators shacking up together. Hell, the whole world probably knew already.

He squeezed Greg's hand back, enjoying the warmth of his calming touch, and put his parents out of his mind.

"How would you feel if Greg moved in with us?"

"I'd have two Daddies?" Cara looked up at him.

"Well... yeah."

"But I can't call him Daddy too."

"Well, there are other things you can call him. Like Dad and Pop. But you don't have to decide that now."

"Ok. It would be fun then. I like him. Can he stay forever?"

"I don't know." His eyes lifted to meet Greg's. "Can you stay forever?"

"I would love to." Greg leaned over and his warm, moist lips met Nick's in an all too brief kiss.

Cara screwed her eyes tight. "Daddy! Ewww!"

He chuckled as Greg sat back in his chair again, their fingers still intertwined. Life couldn't get any better than this.

When she opened her eyes Cara grew excited. "Granpa! Granma!"

Both men's heads whipped around to the doorway to see that Nick's parents had returned from the cafeteria, coffee in hand.

"Oh, dear, what happened?" his mother asked. "We saw Kristy leaving the hospital in a hurry. She seemed upset and she wouldn't stop to talk to us. When we didn't see Cara we didn't know what to think! Thank heavens she's alright!"

"Of course I'm alright! I've been with Daddy!" she exclaimed.

All the while his mother was having a mini heart attack over his soon to be exwife, his father kept his eyes locked on the two hands clasped together atop the white blanket.

Greg's hand gave his another squeeze, though neither of them said anything. This was it. His father had already noticed their closeness and Kristy leaving in a hurry. He wasn't a judge for nothing. Even if Nick lied to him, he would figure it out eventually, perhaps beating it out of him if he had to.

Jillian's gaze moved from Nick to Bill, confused by the silence in the room. Then she looked at Greg, as if seeing him for the first time in her life. A frown formed on her face. "Who are you?" she asked.

Greg had leaned closer to Nick. He wasn't backing away from the situation. From him, Nick could feel a flow of strength and love which filled him mind, body, and soul, giving them a secure connection. It was up to Nick. But if Greg could stay by his side now, and was willing to do so forever, then he could weather the Texas tornado that was sure to blow through the moment his important words left his mouth.

Nick took a huge breath and let it out slowly. "Mom, Cisco," he said. "This is my life partner, Greg."

A/N: The book that Greg references here is called I Love A Cop: What Police Families Need To Know and it's written by Ellen Kirschman, Ph.D. It's a fantastic book which I highly recommend for anyone who wants to become a cop, who lives with one, loves one, or for those who want to write about them.