Title: Why Itachi Doesn't Fall In Love

Summary: Girls love Itachi, who has an annoying little brother, who is breaking Sakura's heart, that Itachi has to fix, which may help Itachi fix his own love life, which never existed in the first place... It must be high school "Apparently he is in her P.E. class and not only is he good looking, but he is talented too."

Pairings Mentioned: SasuXSaku, ItaXNao, SasuXNao, SasuXAra, ItaXSaku

Placement in Storyline: Before 'Why Detention Is Dramatic'

Itachi Uchiha was known as a heart-breaker, though he wasn't sure how he had gotten that name. He had never dated anyone. Nevertheless he had a reputation that proceeded him, maybe it was because he never showed any extra attention to any single female.

That was purposeful. Itachi knew his Uchiha name and good looks would cause girls to fawn over him and he decided when he was in seventh grade that girls were too much drama for him. Besides, he never knew a girl who looked beyond his rich family and good looks. Even Konen, his friend Pein's girlfriend, sighed and giggled when he was in the room. This bothered both Seniors to no end. Itachi because it was redundant to his life, and Pein because it was his girlfriend doing the fawning.

It was safe to say Itachi couldn't wait to get out of high school and leave behind both his annoying younger brother, and the fan-girl population. He couldn't even wait to get out of school and escape to a friend's house everyday. Which made AP English the worst and best class of his day. Best because it was at the end of the day and he had always been good at English, and worst because the clock just seemed to move so slow when he sat in Kurunai-sensei's classroom.

The day he decided he hated Kurunai was the day she decided she would pick the partners for reading poetry. Itachi didn't think they needed partners anyway, it was poetry. Some of it love poetry at that. If she insisted on pairing them up he would have chosen Kisame Hoshigaki, his best friend. Said tall swimmer glared angrily at Kurunai as he was partnered up with Juugo Tenpin. Itachi braced himself to be tortured all afternoon for the next week with poems read by a giggly, love-struck girl as Kurunai approached him.

"Uchiha, you're with Koziki." and the red eyed teacher moved on. Itachi was confused. He didn't know who 'Koziki' was, and that was unusual for him. A few moments later and he was approached by the smallest and most fragile girl in the room. He knew who she was, not by name but by hair.

The girl had thick forest green hair. It fell around her round face in layers or grass colored locks. Very distinctive. He had never seen her face before because every time he had looked to the back of the classroom she had always had her nose in a book. Itachi could now see her face clearly, including the deep blue pupiless eyes that looked at him shyly from under super thick lashes. He prepared himself for her obnoxious adoration.

"Uchiha-sempai." She greeted respectfully and Itachi repressed a shiver. Her words seemed laced with venom, creepy and sickly sweet. Like she was going to snap and kill him at any moment.

"Koziki, I presume." He said quickly, focusing on the words. She nodded, thankfully not speaking, and smiled kindly at him. It was strangely out of place coupled with her frightening voice. After taking a deep breath he gestured for her to sit at the edge of his desk. She did so, pulling out the textbook from seemingly nowhere. Setting it lightly on his desk she opened to the appropriate page wordlessly. She glanced up at him, again too innocent with her thick lashes.

"Shall I start or do you wish to?" She said, her voice icy yet staying in the formal tone. The thought of her reading a poem made the hair on the back of his neck crawl.

"I'll start." Then he cleared his throat and turned to the book. He felt his mouth turn down in a frown as he read the first few lines. Of course. A love poem. He wondered if this would be enough for her true fan-girling to come though.

"Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you.

You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, it comes to me, as of a dream.

I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you.

All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured.

You grew up with me, were a boy with me, or a girl with me.

I ate with you, and slept with you—your body has become not yours only, nor left my body.

Mine.

Only.

You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass—you take of my beard.

Breast.

Hands, in return.

I am not to speak to you—I am to think of you when I sit alone, or wake at night alone.

I am to wait—I do not doubt I am to meet you again.

I am to see to it that I do not lose you." Itachi felt his throat grow dry in panic as he envisioned a green haired girl jumping him, her creepy voice ordering him to stay. He glanced over at her, but she was busy writing her name at the top of a lined sheet of paper. She glanced up and met his dark eyes questioningly.

"Uchiha-senpai, are you alright?"

He nodded, pulling out his own paper and completing his own heading quickly. He heard her muttering to herself next to him. "Title: To a Stranger. Author: Walt Whitman. First question..." And she trailed off, mouth still forming words. For some reason he didn't find her as scary anymore, now that he had gotten over the initial shock of her voice. It was actually ignorable. What bothered him now was how well she was able to keep her fan-girling in check. It was unusual.

Itachi wondered about her for the next half hour as they read and answered questions. She read him Edgar Allen Poe, which he immediately regretted. That may have been the most frightened and creeped out he had ever been in a school building. He read a Hiku on Autumn. She read a love poem by Robert Browning without once blushing or glancing his direction. She hardly seemed to know who he was. Finally he couldn't take it anymore, and for once his curiosity got the better of him. But how to not seem like a weirdo.

"Do you know my brother?" He blurted out. She looked up from the question she was answering, pen still poised above the paper, before she set it down and gave him her full attention, eyes confused as always.

"Uchiha-san? I know of him." That explained it to Itachi. The only girls who payed him no mind were the ones that were infatuated with his brother. He nodded thoughtfully, trying not to give anything away. Then she was talking again and he was thrown for a loop. "Ara-chan is always talking about him. Apparently he is in her P.E. class and not only is he good looking, but he is talented too." She shrugged at Itachi, "I have never met him, so I wouldn't know."

And he stared at her and stared at her. She stared right back, eyes confused yet again. He was sure they were permanently that way. "Do you have a boyfriend?" He asked her. Then he felt like a moron. Any girl would read interest out of that. He was screwed.

She laughed at him. "No."

And that was it. There was no promiscuous attachment to her availability. It was just 'no'.

"Do you want a boyfriend?" He ventured, aware he was on thin ice. He didn't even know her first name.

"Not really." She said, eying him with amusement in her usually confused eyes. "Why are you asking, Uchiha-senpai?"

"You seem very confident." He said, which was both an excuse and the truth. She laughed again, the sound didn't even move the hair on the back of his neck this time. He plunged on before she could make any assumptions out of his statement. "I was simply wondering where you got that confidence from." She raised a doubtful eyebrow at him.

"Well it certainly isn't from knowing your brother." She said slyly. She had dropped the formal tone, and he hadn't even noticed. She must have relaxed when he started asking her personal questions. He felt his eyebrow twitch as she saw through his half-lie.

"Generally girls who know my brother gain a determination that makes them confident."

"A determination to be with him." She finished. He wondered if she guessed or if she knew. "Otherwise known as blatant fan-girling. I think I know why you are asking me strange questions, Uchiha-senpai."

Well now he was going to seem like an asshole. But what could he do? "Really?"

"Yes. You want to know why I haven't shown fan-girl type behavior."

Right on the mark. "Yes." he admitted. At least he might figure her out.

"Fan-girling is a pointless endeavor. It is a waste of time and energy. That is why." She said simply, her voice going steely and evil. Itachi suppressed a shiver, reminded of the first time he had heard her talk. Her expression matched her voice this time, however, and the effect was far more frightening overall.

"I have never met a girl as smart as you." he said quickly, hoping to calm her. He didn't want her yelling at him. "How old are you?"

She tilted her head to the side and when she spoke her voice had gone back to it's normal level of sweet death. "I just turned sixteen last week."

"Happy Birthday." he congratulated, which felt weird in his mouth. He usually never congratulated people. She nodded at him.

"Thank you."

"You know that my first name is Itachi, right?" he asked her out of the blue. He seemed to do that a lot when he was around her. Itachi usually thought things through, but she made him rush. It was probably the creepyness.

"Yes." she said, confusion once again swimming in her eyes.

"I don't know your first name." Her forehead crinkled.

"It's Naomi. But why do you want to know it?"

And he knew the right thing to say. He just knew it. "I like to call my friends by their first name, Naomi-chan."

She laughed again, and the witch-like sound didn't even faze him. He had Uchiha nerves of steal. "Very well, Itachi-san."

When the class got out her tiny body disappeared into the crowd and he was swamped by fan-girls. He had almost forgotten in his time with Naomi that all the other girls in school couldn't keep their hands to themselves. In the process of fleeing he nearly ran over one of his brother's friends, Sakura Haruno.

Friends wasn't really what he would call her. Sakura was a fan of Sasuke's, and while she toned it down around him enough that his little brother could tolerate her and they had been in the same group of friends for years it was well known that she would do anything for Sasuke's heart. He stepped on her foot and sent the Sophomore into a rant of curses. Quickly recognizing her pink hair he grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door with him. She looked up at him grumpily, her short temper obviously at a breaking point, and Itachi noticed tear-tracks on her face. He didn't step on her that hard, did he?

"Are you okay, Haruno-chan?" he asked, using the familiar suffex with her last name was his way of saying he knew her more then the average acquaintance. She was his little brothers friend and she had come over to the house often enough. He had spent the two years he had his drivers license, before Sasuke got one of his own, driving the boy to parties that included her.

"No, you stepped on my goddamn foot." She hissed, anger mixing with an almost spent sadness in her green eyes.

"You've been crying." He pointed out shortly. She wiped at her face worriedly, anger gone instantly.

"Is it that obvious?"

The Uchiha remained tactful. "Hn." he said, a trademark of his family. Sakura looked down at her feet, tears threatening to spill over again.

"That's what Sasuke-kun said when I told him I loved him."

Itachi quickly wondered if he could escape now. But it was too late. Sakura fixed him in tearful green wells of hearbreak and he had to try to help. Damn his conscience. "What exactly happened?"

She broke into a tearful story where she loved Sasuke and he was sitting with her, hanging out like they always do and she just blurted it out. And there were tears and then she went on to say he just grunted at her and walked away. And she was left crying in the dust. And all the while Itachi just couldn't help but think about how well those actions fit his little brother. So he did his best to console her without actually touching her or anything that may cause her affections to rub off on him. By the end of a half hour discussion she was hating his little brother and she had a look in her eye he didn't like. Lucky enough for Itachi he got away.

At home that night Itachi was struck by the possibility that he may have traded the chance to have a female friend for the fact that Sakura my now be one of his fan-girls. And he pondered the fact that he had never had a girlfriend and Naomi was the closest thing he had to non-related female contact. And he wondered what Naomi would think about that.