I hate this commercial so much because of what it stands for, I MUST make this sketch.
A woman see's her husband/boyfriend's phone vibrate and reads it.
The husband/boyfriend comes back from the bathroom.
Woman: "Who is Terry and why does she NEED YOU RIGHT NOW?"
Man: "What?"
Speaker: "Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix."
Man eats some Twix.
Man: "Oh, TERRY, that's my boss, he is so demanding."
Woman: "Oh, my bad, I should have known better. You wouldn't-"
Phone vibrates again.
Woman: "Why does he say don't forget the whip cream?"
Man: "What.. oh, um... For his coffee."
Woman: "Oh.. right."
Man: "Baby, I wouldn't cheat on-"
Luffy: "STOP! This is bullshit! Did you bastards all just see that! Twix just made it ok to commit ADULTRY! Open your eyes you crazy fuckers! Twix is evil!..."
Luffy gets all serious, "It MUST be destroyed..."
Luffy goes to the high council with the Twix in hand. "High Council, we MUST destroy this Twix bar before the Evil Sauron finds it once again and makes everything go to shit with his evil."
High Council Member: "We agree with you Luffy Baggins. We have chosen several people to go with you and protect you as the bearer of the Twix. You will be known as THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE TWIX."
~Super Mega Voice Over: "THIS SUMMER..."
Zoro: The Human Ranger.
Sanji: The Elf Bowman.
Franky: The Dwarf Warrior.
Nami: The Sexy Elf Chick.
Usopp: The Other Hobbit.
Robin: The Human Fighting Babe.
Chopper: The Beast.
Brook: The Dead Guy.
~"THINGS WILL CHANGE... AND SHIT WILL GO DOWN..."
Zoro: "I hate elves... and I hate you."
Sanji shoots an arrow at Zoro's ass, "You will not fuck my sister!"
~"PEOPLE WILL BE SAVED... AND KILLED..."
Silvers Rayleigh: "I Gandalf shall save you from the monster! YOU SHALL NOT PASS BITCH!"
Rayleigh pimp slaps a giant fire monster and then the monster explodes and Gandalf disappears."
Luffy: "GANDAULF! NO!"
~"AND ALL... FOR THE ONE TWIX... OF SIN (*echo: sin) (sin) (sin)
Usopp: "LUFFY! DON'T LET GO!"
Franky: "It's a good day for a dwarf to die! SUPAAAAAAAAAA!"
Nami: "Zoro, I..."
Zoro: "No... save it for after the battle..."
Usopp: "We have to throw the Twix into the fire!"
Luffy: "NO! IT'S MY PRECIOUS! I'LL EAT IT! COME ONE MORE FUCKING STEP AND I'LL EAT IT MOTHERFUCKER!"
Zoro: "THIS IS OUR LAST STAND! LET NO ORGER BEAT THE SHIT OUR OF US AND BUTT RAPE OUR PEOPLE THIS DAY!"
Brook: "Whoa... did you just say Ogres are gonna butt rape us!... Oh what do I care... I'M DEAD! I have no anus! YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
~"PREPARE... FOR... THE TWIX OF SIN... Coming never to a theater near you this summer... or whenever the end of time is..."