Chapter 60: Amiably Suffering

Goda could not be parted from his new bedroom. He laid on his bed for days, not in sickness, but in pure hatred of everyone. Including Dairek, Goda just did not want to see anyone. So, he threw glass or yelled every time anyone approached his door. After about three days of this, Goda was left alone and given a trap door for food. Of course, Dairek spent no less than millions on the food and the chefs. Goda ate most of it, but he refused to thank whoever left the food. He could not see the person…just the hands and hearing footsteps walk away.

He lay on a queen sized canopy bed made from the finest silks, cotton and it felt like a cloud…he slept in pure bliss in the first few days. Goda could not bear anyone looking at him, so he threw the temper tantrums. But the funny thing was…Dairek did not come to see him. Not even after coming to this island.

Goda huffed in hatred as he remembered Dairek placing a tracker on his ankle during the long helicopter ride. Of course, after their little meeting about staying on the island and their new code names, Goda escaped to his room and barricaded himself inside. He has been here for the past…he could not place the days any more. Weeks? It had to been a few weeks since the kidnapping…

Also, where was he bothered Goda as well. He had a vague idea that he was near America…but why would Dairek go that far? Goda had no idea where he was since his phone did sort of worked…he got a message from Shinobu saying, we….need…..tal…

Goda got the point, but the missing letters could be a problem. He spent most of his day, either in bed or trying to make his phone work, but everything was futile. The island, like Dairek said, was covered in small but very powerful bugs to destroy any electronic device not made by Dairek's men. Jani's phone sparked on contact with her feet on the ground, but she did not get hurt. Her phone was dead, so Dairek gave her a new one and told her to call certain people.

Of course, Jani loved the place. Goda could hear the stupid girl commenting, gushing and running throughout the mansion like a toddler. Goda hated the place…he knew for inch for inch of the limestone and painted walls…this was just another cage. A cage to keep him hidden from the Hunassha…but Goda did not want this again. Even the Uke Trade-Off…was slight trick to get the attention of the Hunassha.

Goda was asked, naturally, why he kept his red eyes by Conto. He stared at Conto and said, "I love my eyes…I do not want to change them."

Conto…Goda moaned as he started to remember the Conto family line. Also the history with that ninja family… The head, Jomto Conto, was the best and head assassin under Murder Lotus. Jomto was so faithful and steadfast in his murders that Murder Lotus stole him a perfect bride…and they had Ryder.

Goda smirked at the thought of Ryder. Ryder was nothing like Ayame or Dairek; he was slightly handicapped. Ryder had a balance problem, could not read well, and he adored cartoons so much. He could be seen reciting them when he was thought to be alone. But not many could hate this lovable man…not even Goda. Goda found Ryder as a great friend and a great listener. The only issue was…Ryder was never asked to join the Hunassha.

This deeply hurt Ryder as he kept close to his father and watched Ayame being born into the world…the perfect child. The difference between Ayame and Ryder was their mothers. Ryder's mother, Laile, was sweet and gentle; Ayame's mother, Danna, was a devote black belt and stern. Ayame was quickly taught to be a ninja and asked to become Goda's husband…

Goda snarled and hid his face in the sheets. He remembered Ayame as a child…a short but lean little kid with hazel eyes. His auburn hair was cut short, but he looked normal in his casual clothing. He smiled at Goda and gave his hand to Goda…he said, "pleased to meet you Taka-chan."

He remembered wearing a small florid dress and taking Ayame's hand. He said, "thanks…Conto-san."

The little meetings slowly turned into an every moment together. Goda enjoyed being with Conto, but then a new bride came into Jomto's hands. The biggest bitch and the meanest assassin Strike Butcher gave Murder Lotus, Esther. She came to the mansion covered in belts, chains and held by nine men…

Ayame shielded Goda from her as Jomto looked at her and rubbed her belly. Jomto snickered, "I cannot wait to get you pregnant."

Esther snarled, "I will kill you first."

Jomto smirked and said, "I would like to see you try." He motioned the men to take her to his chambers…after two months of silence in Jomto's chambers. Esther appeared, still looking angry and slightly confused, moaning, "he got me…pregnant."

Ayame and Ryder were kept away from Esther and her pregnancy…even the other Conto brides kept away from Esther. Goda found her interesting and scary at the same time…then Dairek was born.

Esther, for a moment, looked calm and motherly. She held her son and said, "he will be the best Conto…I swear it."

Goda watched as Esther taught Dairek to fight and to be the best…but not gently. Dairek was forced into many fights with Esther and her goons. The little child tried to fight back, but he was always thrown to the ground…the little boy's fists curled as he snarled and accepted the pain.

Esther snarled, "I expected more from you…worthless piece of shit."

Ayame kept Goda at a viewing distance since Goda wanted to watch. Goda tried to break free and save Dairek a few times…why though? Goda did not understand why…since he was promised to Ayame.

Goda said, "He is your little brother; don't you want to save him from this?"

Ayame sighed and said, "It is not my place…to do anything."

Goda sighed and watched more. His urge to save Dairek only kept him in the trees and watching the little boy thrown to the ground…covered in blood and bruises.

Jomto and his other wives watched. He said, "Dairek, try harder than that. Elderly can move faster than you."

Ryder stared as well as he said, "Dad…Dad please stop this." His eyes were huge behind his glasses as he stared at his father pleadingly.

Jomto smiled at him and said, "Ryder, if this bothers you, why don't you close your eyes or leave?"

Goda moaned and jumped out of the tree. He grabbed a throwing dart and threw it at Esther. Of course, Esther moved but the dagger…

A young boy screamed as Jomto stood and pulled out a pistol towards Goda. Jomto snarled, "watch your steps, Hetzumi-chan! You attacked my son and—"

Murder Lotus appeared in behind Ayame and said calmly, "kill my daughter…miss your son. Seems fitting for lose a child for another, correct Jomto?"

Jomto snarled as he went to Dairek. He took off his shirt and wiped the blood off Dairek's face. The dagger swiped past Dairek's left cheek as the blood seeped down his cheek. Dairek did not cry, but he glared at Goda…and looked confused by the attack.

Goda stood there and said, "I hope you will learn that every angle can produce a foe. I was aiming for your mother…but be thankful. The daggers are pointed at the end, even if I got her, she would only suffer a minor blow unlike your new battle scar."

Dairek said nothing as Goda and Ayame was kept away from Dairek's training. Soon, they were sent to America… Goda modeled and learned under tutors for a few years when he heard about Dairek's death… They assembled in a small conference room while the funeral was covered by camera. Ayame never cried for his little brother nor did Goda. Ryder never stopped crying as he murmured, "I never knew Dairek…now he is dead! This is not fair!"

Goda smirked at him and said, "tears are useless to a person you hardly knew."

Ryder glared at her and snarled, "He was my baby brother! That does not change a thing!"

Goda held his breath and turned away. He never…thought like that. For years, Goda was trained and played with Ayame. His siblings had their own agendas and lives…except Neko and Chicco. Both of them were freed from the Hunassha curse because Neko was a bastard child and Chicco was married to an assassin. They were free…but Goda was not. Murder Lotus told Goda his future…

"You will be a mother to the new Conto family. Also, Ryder and Dairek will have perfect brides for their healthy children. Your womb is high demand, so do not soil it with anything unusual." Toyo said as Goda glared at him.

"So, all I am to you is a vessel for newborns?" Goda snarled and curled his fists. He finished, "what if I told you I rather die than marry Conto?"

Toyo stalled and said, "do not say those words to me, child. You could be forced into a new world of hatred for those words. Do you wish for pain or pleasure of this new statement?"

Goda glared into his father's red eyes and said, "I want pain because I do not want to be a mother of Conto's children. I want pain because I want my own life! I want pain…to prove to you that I can run for a time…and return to you to accept my punishment in full."

Toyo stood and said, "You are going to America, and that is final…"

Goda did as told…for a little while…

He moaned as he returned the current situation: stuck in a room, hidden on an island in the middle of nowhere, and forced to look like a woman. Yes, Goda moaned and looked down, he was wearing a cotton dress. It was comfortable, but his walk-in dresser was filled with dresses or feminine clothing. This caused most of the temper tantrums, but the staff never bothered Goda after the first couple of days.

Goda looked out the sealed glass doors. Of course, she tried to break them. Nothing worked…as she stared out the long dock to the floating dock for the helicopters and a few boats. Nothing much happened when Goda watched the dock, but a few staff members came and left on either modes of transportation. He just watched as he sighed and remained firm on not seeing anyone.

"Hetzumi?" Dairek's voice called from the door.

Goda snarled, "Goda! I repeat my name is Hozumi Goda!"

Dairek chuckled and sat beside the door. He said, "I refuse to call you that."

Goda kept his eyes firm on the dock and snarled, "What the fuck do you want?"

Dairek said, "To talk like normal people. May I enter?"

Goda growled, "If you want to die, then yes, enter. I have a few weapons I would adore using on you."

Dairek sighed and said, "I hoped that room would please you, also the food has always been eaten fully. What are you dissatisfied about?"

Goda sat up and looked down at the form fitting dress…his breasts were shown in slightly, but it was enough to make him angered more. He said, "You filled my room with feminine clothing! What were you thinking? I am a man! I want pants, shirts, shorts, and normal clothes! These dresses are awful!"

Dairek snickered and said, "I wish I could see you in that dress. Which one are you wearing?"

Goda snarled, "I dare you to open that door and—" He stiffened when Dairek opened the door and examined her.

Dairek smiled and said, "The white cotton dress. Beautiful and simple, I should have known that—" He ducked before Goda threw a vase at him.

Goda quickly went to the closet and manipulated a hanger into a poking stick. He snarled while returning to the room and posing in a deadly stance, "do not think for an instant that I am a woman! These breasts are unfortunate accidents of my birth! I am a man!"

Dairek said calmly, "you should have removed them if they bother you so much. I would have missed them if you did remove them. Now common, can we try to be calm for an instant? All I want to do is explain myself and my methods."

Goda kept still as Dairek came forward and pulled out his foldable sword.

Dairek said, "You do not want me to fight. Please put that hanger down."

Goda shoved the hanger forward, but Dairek dodged it with ease. They fought like professional fencers as Dairek grabbed the hanger and tossed it aside. Goda rammed into Dairek onto his bed and snarled, "You are just a teenager with too many hormones to think that this shit makes me happy!"

Dairek dropped his sword and smiled. He said, "you were always so pretty when angry…common, finish me. I am just a teenager as you are a grown woman. You could kill me. Then do it, I would gladly die by the woman I love."

Goda scrambled off him and fell to his butt on the soft carpet. He snarled, "I am nothing…just let me return to the Hunassha."

Dairek sat up and said, "I cannot allow that."

Goda glared at him and snarled into that fifteen year old face with a long scar on the left side of his face. The same teal eyes of Esther were there, but the famous Conto auburn hair was flowing into a long thick ninja-double banded ponytail. He said, "You cannot stop my father or uncle or my brother. They will find me. The three of them are unstoppable. Look at the damage they have done and got away with. The Hunassha will kill you for your incompetence."

Dairek sat cross legged and smirked at Goda. He said, "Do you think I would go against the Hunassha unprepared?"

Goda snarled, "What makes you think you are prepared? Teenaged prophecy? Please, tell me your wondrous monologue, so I can keep insulting you."

Dairek chuckled and said, "All I have to say is one word…and you will trust me."

Goda blinked and said, "what? Faith?"

Dairek said, "Blodad."

Goda stopped breathing and said nothing for a few five seconds. He shifted on the ground as he said, "you cannot…be serious…Blodad…here?"

Dairek smiled and said, "I saved him from my father…it was not easy, but I defied him enough to be tortured. The scar on my face is both from you and my father. So, I have a few more to show you…" He removed his shirt as he turned…his back was smothered in whip, burns and cut marks… He finished, "my father thought I died from lack of treatment from these scars…but no. I died like Juliet."

Goda grimaced as Dairek replaced his shirt and turned to him. He said, "Juliet who?"

Dairek smirked and giggled. He said, "Died like Juliet, common. You have an education, so try remembering Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet?"

Goda narrowed his eyes and snarled, "of course I…wait. You were…poisoned to look dead?"

Dairek smirked and nodded. He said, "My mother saved me."

Goda's mouth dropped as he said, "that psychopath saved you? Okay, this just got weirder…"

Dairek said, "My mother was always like you saw her…a wild killer, but inside of her…was a hurt child. She was born into a gang, like us, as she was trained to kill at a young age. Her first missions were…to kill her cat and her best friend."

Goda blinked as he turned to Dairek. Dairek continued, "My mother did as told as she continued to kill…she killed her entire family and the gang…with a knife, rope and fire. My mother had no choice but to run and continued to kill…her reputation made her famous beyond her apprehension. For years, she hid and killed people that only…harmed animals."

Dairek smirked and said, "My mother murdered people abusing animals. She spent years killing people, but as soon as she saved all the animals…more people came to defy and harm animals. One dog she tried to save got her captured for the Hunassha…and into my father's hands."

Goda listened as Dairek finished, "my mother…sort of likes my father. Ayame's mother is blindly in love with him as Ryder's mother finds him like her reason to breath. My mother stood on the edge of love and liked him for his fighting style. They fought and had sex to develop me…" Dairek snickered and continued, "She only told me this…through her diary. Since I stopped my father from killing Blodad, my mother waited for my father and Murder Lotus's men to finish their torture. After three hours of pain, she came to me and said, 'you need to die…to save the woman you love.'"

Dairek looked at Goda and said, "I never told anyone that I loved you. But my mother knew…she continued to tell me, 'you do not have to explain a thing. You have been depressed since Hetzumi went to America…it is very obvious. I will give you this if you promise me this only gift…' I turned to her as she finished, 'take Ryder with you and find a new life. You need to get stronger before you find Hetzumi again. Go to the darkest places and become stronger. Do not kill, but become stronger and take Blodad with you.' I could not help and ask about her. She smiled at me…the first smile I ever saw and said, 'I need to remain here. Please, run. I never cared about anything…until I gave birth to you. Please run and never come back…' She poisoned me as I fell into a Juliet death… Blodad took my body away before the coffin was buried as we fought and disappeared."

Goda blinked twice and said, "You used your death to become stronger for me? You could have saved yourself and…" He glared at Dairek as Dairek came closer to him. Dairek smirked and looked deeply into Goda's eyes.

Dairek said, "I care about you, so much it made me crazy at night thinking Ayame was going to be your husband. At times, I fought better than ever because he was my reason. I wanted to kill Ayame and save you…from all the bullshit that the Hunassha presented to you. I wanted to give you a utopia, a paradise and my heart. Selfish and teenager of me…I know but…my heart beats for you. Please, hate me for this kidnapping but please remember this… I do everything for you."

Goda snarled, "I do not care about your little confessions! I wanted to surrender to the Hunassha…you are just a pest."

"Why are you blushing?" Dairek said as he gently touched Goda's face. He smiled and said breathlessly, "I hope you know…all this holding back is killing me."

Goda snarled and slapped his hand away. He said, "Then don't hold back!"

Dairek backed away and said, "I am not Ayame. I refuse to hurt you due to poison or held back emotions. I care for you and your privacy. So, do you wish to ask me anything before I leave for Japan?"

Goda said, "Where am I?"

Dairek smirked and said, "A safe island that is all you need to know. Please do not hide in here, come and investigate the island. If there is anything you need, call me." He placed a gold phone on the bed and went to the door. His voice was calm as he said, "That dress suits you…I might get you more if you prefer that style."

Goda snarled, "I want PANTS, asshole!"

Dairek snickered and turned to Goda. He said, "as long as you stay here, you are a woman. You can act, change you voice, and change your appearance. But refuse to admit to that and give you anything masculine. I am not your father to force you into feminine hobbies or marriage or pregnancy. But, I acknowledge the fact that I met you as a woman and keep calling you one. I refuse to call you Goda, so you will be called by your code name…Okami."

Goda snarled, "why the name Okami?"

Dairek smiled and said, "Because you remind me of one…and it is your family crest, after all."

Goda stood and said, "because I am furious, dangerous and something to be released, right?"

Dairek looked directly into her eyes and said, "No, because you are beautiful, misunderstood, and hurt by many poachers…you also are useful and heal so many. Wolves might not be considered healers, but they clean up the earth from overpopulation. You do too…by teaching men about true love, respect and compassion."

Goda knew he was blushing and turned away. He said, "You…read the Uke Trade-Off…"

Dairek said, "That and your diary."

Goda turned and screamed, "You are DEAD! How did you…" He growled, "You went to my storage unit…how did you know?"

Dairek smirked and said, "I had a few people following you since you came back to Japan. I know plenty…thanks to Blodad." He closed the door as Goda huffed and paced.

Blodad was an amazing man…a perfect mark's man, an amazing story teller, and a good hearted man. He was always given the hard jobs and almost killed many times. Goda remembered thinking Blodad was her father more than Murder Lotus…Blodad always accepted her healing and love. He would turn to Goda and said, "I truly hope you will never lose that smile or that wonderful personality. You are so precious to me…like a daughter. Please Hetzumi-chan, be careful if you ever join the Hunassha. Also…have me as your body guard. I cannot stand that Ayame character."

Hetzumi giggled and crept into his arms. He said, "Always…I will always need you…"

Goda sighed and laid back into the bed. He never forgot Blodad…even after the rumored death and disappearance. Some free days, Goda begged Conto to find Blodad. Ayame never tried too hard since he was not a big fan of Blodad either. They…clashed. Blodad liked Goda as a training student and daughter as Conto wanted Goda to be a pure and allow Goda to be whatever person that Goda wanted to be. Goda liked both sides…but Blodad was in her heart more than Conto some days…

The door opened as the familiar thick boots with metal on the heels tapped on the ground and stepped onto the rug and came to her sun chair behind the curtains. Goda looked up and looked into the eyes of her beloved guardian and friend…Blodad.

Blodad smiled and said, "My, my…look at you, Hetzumi-chan. You have grown into a fine lady."

Goda blushed and sat up. He said, "Stop it…I am ugly."

Blodad sighed and said, "that is why Dairek asked me to come and for you to be left alone. My poor Hetzumi…what happened to that spunk? What happened to the girl I knew?"

Goda instantly sobbed and said, "She was thrown, destroyed and tossed asunder! Yelled to be one side! Also…kidnapped. Blodad…where have you been? I needed a father so many times! You asshole! You stayed with Dairek than being with me! You LIAR!"

Blodad instantly stood and wrapped Goda in his strong tanned arms. He sighed and said, "I wanted to see you…so badly. I fought Dairek many times to get you into our protection but…he kept saying, 'I need to get stronger. I need a place to hide her. I need you…to trust me. We will get her back…soon, very, very soon…' I trusted him…for his eyes and voice was so…passionate."

Goda sobbed in his green shirt and said, "You trust that little bastard?"

Blodad whispered and kissed her head. He said, "I trust Dairek with my life."

Goda shivered and said, "You never…said that about my father…"

Goda looked into Blodad's black eyes as Blodad said, "your father was not the reason why I joined the Hunassha."

Blodad wiped her tears away with his big fingers and finished, "I joined…because I wanted to protect you."

Goda blinked and said, "You only met me at the park…when my family was vacationing at Saudi Arabia…how could have you known that I was a mafia member's daughter…son…or anything worth protecting…"

Blodad released her and sat beside her. He snickered lightly and said, "Remember all the stories I told you?"

Goda smirked and said, "of course…why?"

Blodad turned and said, "One thing kept reoccurring, right? Do you remember that one thing that kept appearing in my stories?"

Goda nodded and said, "You said fate is always determined before birth…before someone even see the future or settle on a different life. Why?"

Blodad said, "I believe fate brought us together, so I can protect you and bring you closer to Dairek."

Goda snarled, "you will not be match maker for me, asshole!" He stood and stared at the dock as Dairek and Ryder boarded a helicopter. His heart…he touched it as he felt jealous that Dairek could run away but not him…but also… Goda snarled and spun to Blodad. He said quickly, "that bastard is just a teenager! I am an old man! Why does he want me for? I was promised to his older brother! I am worthless! I am! I…Blodad…"

Blodad smiled at her and said, "You are not worthless, or old, or even undesirable. You are beautiful, kind and very spunky. I hope this island can bring back the Hetzumi we all know and love." He stood and touched her face gently. His voice was deep and paternal as he said, "I will protect you if Dairek hurt you. Please do not be shy to ask for me, I am only a few doors or a phone call away. I live to protect you, Hetzumi. I want your happiness above all else."

Goda rushed into his arms as he enclosed her in them. He said in a feminine voice, "damn…you make me weak…I hate you."

Blodad chuckled lightly and stroked her hair as he said, "you are not weak…just hurt. For so long, you had to be tough and rely on yourself. Do not be afraid to rely on me. I am your guardian…and I will always be."

Goda cuddled close to his strong body and whimpered, "Hold me…a little longer, please. I need…this. Not love from a man that wants my body or heart…just a father. Please…do not leave me yet."

Blodad held her close and said, "I will stay beside you forever, my daughter."