Re:IF Nageku [Lamenting Life in Another World from Zero]
Phuqitol
Chapter 9: Gone in Bloom and Bough
Summary:
In this chapter, Subaru, Beatrice, and Bastian pay their respects and plan their next move.
Chapter Text
The three emerged from the Forbidden Library. It was almost noon now. None of them had gotten any sleep the night prior. Ordinarily, Subaru would've felt like death. He imagined that Bastian, despite being difficult to read at times, likely would've felt the same. However, finding Beatrice alive and well had invigorated Subaru in a way he found difficult to express. Bastian seemed pleased with the result, as well.
Bastian: [Not every day a contract is forged. Remember it well, Subaru.]
Subaru: [How could I ever forget a day like today?]
Bastian beamed with pride for his companion. Subaru wore a mellow smile on his face. He was so elated that Beatrice had chosen to come with them.
The mood would take a funereal turn, however.
Beatrice: [… oh…]
Her voice wavered as she saw took in the full extent of what had happened to the mansion. Her eyes began to well up again. Subaru was attentive to this, pulling her to his side for a hug. She buried her face in his mantle for a good few minutes.
Subaru: [I know…]
He patted her back as she gently sobbed into his mantle. If anyone knew what Beatrice was feeling right now, it was Subaru. Fortunately, he didn't provide empty platitudes such as "it's alright," or "everything will be okay." He simply told his truth. He knew.
Beatrice: [Betty knew too, I suppose… Betty knew it all. Betty just didn't want to admit it to herself, in fact…]
Subaru: [I can't fault you for that. Coming back to Lugunica was about as hard as leaving it. Even knowing what I was likely to find upon my return, I wasn't prepared for the full extent…]
In fact, he hadn't known merely what was likely to be found upon his return. He knew all too well the kind of hell he was going to encounter. Even knowing with complete certainty hadn't helped prepare him for his return. If anything, it hounded him.
Beatrice: [Betty… Betty's alright, I suppose…]
Subaru: [No need to put up a strong front.]
Bastian: [Learned well.]
Subaru: [Well, I learned it the hard way.]
As he and Bastian bantered about, he felt a soft grip on his left hand.
Subaru: [Beako?]
Beatrice: [Let's keep moving, I suppose.]
Subaru smiled, giving a nod in affirmation. Walking hand in hand, side by side, the two stepped outside of the ruined mansion at the same time.
Though snow had made its way into the mansion's remains, it paled in comparison to the sheer blinding white of the outdoors.
Beatrice: [Oh, Bubby…]
As they made their way further into the courtyard, Beatrice crouched down and picked up a handful of the magical snow.
Beatrice: [Betty can feel Bubby's presence in the snow, in fact…]
Subaru crouched down with her, placing a gentle hand on her right shoulder.
Subaru: [Would you like us to make a memorial in his honor?]
Beatrice turned to Subaru, and with a bittersweet smile, she nodded to confirm her deep-seated wish.
The three walked further out, making their way toward Irlam. Subaru paused for moment, taking a look back at Roswaal's mansion. At first, he saw it in its ruined state. But with some concentration, he began to see it as it had been before he'd ran away.
He saw himself, Emilia, and Puck performing radio calisthenics in the garden, declaring victory as they wrapped up.
He saw himself falling from the second story window into the bushes below, dirtying his pajamas and getting manure in his hair.
He saw Ram poorly trimming the hedges, only for Rem to follow behind her to correct her sister's well-meaning but sloppy work.
He saw the snow festival, with the snow sculptures made by the people of Irlam and the mansion's staff.
So many nostalgic stimuli assaulted Subaru at once, that he hadn't even noticed…
Beatrice: [Subaru.]
Subaru: [… huh? What is it, Beako?]
Beatrice: [You're crying, in fact. Here.]
It seemed it was Beatrice's turn to comfort him. She took his hand to calm him down.
Subaru: [Sorry… not the best start to this story of ours, huh?]
Beatrice: [It's quite alright, in fact. It can only improve from here.]
Subaru: [You suppose so?]
Beatrice: [Betty knows it, in fact. Come now. We should keep moving.]
Subaru: [… yeah.]
As these two got moving down the road to Irlam again, Bastian looked on with a faint smile.
Bastian: [They'll make a great pair.]
Subaru: [Ah, you say something, Bastian?]
Bastian: [Nothing. Lead on.]
The three continued down the road to Irlam, where the final stage of Subaru's Undertaking was to take place.
The three had returned to the gravesite, at the edge of a field where wildflowers had once bloomed. The graves were completed with simple headstones having been carved out of stone using Bastian's Radiant Array Spirit Art.
He pulled out all the stops in carving a memorial statue for Puck. Beatrice had gone to painstaking lengths to describe Puck's appearance to Bastian, who'd never seen him personally. To both Subaru and Beatrice's astonishment, he was able to perfectly capture his likeness in stone using Ris. The contours were perfectly smoothed, the details delicately etched.
He gingerly handed it to Beatrice.
Bastian: [I hope it pleases you, Great Spirit.]
Beatrice: [… thank you, Bastian… though you can refer to Betty by her name, in fact.]
Bastian was visibly uncomfortable at the prospect of calling a Great Spirit by their name. This was something Subaru found odd.
Subaru: [C'mon, Bastian. If she says it's okay, then it's okay. You didn't have a problem calling Puck or Odglass by their names.]
Bastian: [It's a different matter when they're right here before you…]
Subaru: [Oh, I get it. Kinda like how you wouldn't refer to a king as "his royal highness" at all times.]
Bastian: [… yes.]
Subaru: [Huh. He even has a bashful side.]
Bastian grumbled as he turned his attention away from Subaru and to the field of snow.
Bastian: [Grea-… Beatrice-sama.]
He stumbled when trying to refer to Beatrice. Of course, he couldn't stop himself from revering her to some degree.
Beatrice: [Yes?]
Bastian: [The field. Mind if it's cleared, so that the flowers may bloom again someday?]
Subaru was somewhat jealous of the tact he showed to Beatrice, but he also appreciated it. Her earlier comment regarding the snow indicated that a light touch was required.
Beatrice looked out over the snowy field wistfully. Then, a gossamer smile appeared. It was as though she could see that field in bloom already.
Beatrice: [No, Betty doesn't mind, I suppose. Though Betty is unsure how much time that task will require.]
Beatrice did have a point. It was quite a sprawling field. Clearing it unassisted would likely take hours.
However…
Bastian: [Won't take but a moment.]
Bastian said this as he lifted his right hand towards the field beyond the gravesite. He tapped the sheath on his left hip with his left hand, prompting all eight of Ris to return. Most of them had been out earlier for the stone carving but returned to the sheath once their work was done. Now, it seemed they were needed once more.
Bastian: [Amplification.]
The eight motes of white light formed a circle before his right palm. They began to revolve, starting out slow at first, but picking up speed gradually. After a few seconds, they had began revolving so rapidly, they became a blur, appearing like a solid ring of white light before his right palm.
Bastian carefully took aim, and –
Bastian: [Al Jiwald.]
A massive cone of white light shone forth from his right hand, spreading out across the field. Subaru and Beatrice had to shield their eyes from the brilliant light. The force could be felt by all of them. Subaru clutched Beatrice close, fearing she'd blow away.
Subaru: [Bastian, what the hell?!]
The relucent display ended after a few seconds, though it felt as though it'd lasted much longer.
As Subaru's vision became clear again, he saw the field had indeed been cleared. It was rather muddy, of course, having been under much snow for several months straight. The earth itself hadn't been so much as even slightly disturbed by the blast of light, a testament to Bastian's precision.
Subaru: [… thank you, Bastian…]
It took Subaru a moment to gather himself. For a brief moment, he'd feared that Bastian had suddenly snapped. He was sharply relieved to see this gesture, instead.
Bastian simply nodded in response, as taciturn as ever.
Subaru: [Maybe when the flowers bloom again, I could make Emilia another crown…]
This thought prompted Subaru to return his attention to the gravesite.
Subaru: [I came here for a reason. Time I addressed that purpose.]
The three approached the gravesite. Arranged at the middle of the site were the graves for Emilia, Rem, and Ram.
Beatrice: [Betty believes Bubby would want to be placed by Emilia, I suppose…]
Subaru: [Yeah. She was like a daughter to him. He'd like that.]
Beatrice placed the memorial statue of Puck beside Emilia's grave. Her hesitancy to admit her hypothesis and in placing the statue provided insight to her feelings about Puck and Emilia's relationship. She no doubt was jealous of how much time Puck spent with Emilia. Still, she respected his wishes.
Bastian: [Any words, Subaru?]
Subaru stared down at the graves for what felt like a while. He then took a deep breath.
Subaru: [Yes.]
First, he looked to Rem's grave.
Subaru: [Rem. I'm… I'm so sorry I abandoned you. You tried so hard to get through to me, but those words were wasted on me back then. I swear… I'll try to become a Hero that you could be proud of. Not that fake that I'd been…]
He then looked to Ram's grave.
Subaru: [Ram. I'm so sorry I failed to protect your sister. And after all you'd done to help me, too… I swear I'll do all I can to make the name "Barusu" mean "Hero."]
He then looked to Puck's memorial.
Subaru: [Puck. I'm sorry I failed to protect your daughter. Most would say your reaction to this tragedy only exacerbated it, but… I get it. Living in a world without Emilia… I get it. I swear I'll do better at protecting your adorable little sister.]
Beatrice gave a flustered pout in response to this latter point, squeezing Subaru's hand.
He then looked to Emilia's grave.
Subaru: [Emilia… I… when we met, I made a promise. You wouldn't know about it, though… but it was an important one. I promised that no matter what, I'd save you. I… broke that promise. Maybe my word is no good anymore, but… I'd like to make a new promise. An oath.]
He recalled Emilia's statement of her platform the day the Royal Selection had begun. She'd professed that she wanted a kingdom where all were treated equitably. This, Subaru interpreted to be –
Subaru: [I swear that I'll grant your greatest wish, Emilia-tan!]
His fists clenched firmly as he declared his oath with determination. Was he crying again? Of course, he was. However, he wasn't the sniveling mess he'd been almost every other time he'd cried as of late. He privately supposed this was progress as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
Subaru: [And to the people of Irlam… I'm sorry I couldn't save you. To you all, I swear I'll do all I can to ensure this tragedy never is allowed to repeat.]
He meant this in a couple of ways. There was the way others could understand, and then there was the way that only he could understand. In a roundabout way, he'd just unconsciously reaffirmed his desire to never die again. That way, he'd never have to relive this experience.
With this, Subaru released a heavy sigh.
Subaru: [I… don't think I have anything else to say.]
Bastian: [No need to force it if that's the case. Let's go. Will cook something.]
Having paid their respects, the three departed from the gravesite, heading back to the village.
It was now mid-afternoon. It was still overcast, providing a suitable mood for the bittersweet events of the day. The three had made there way back to Irlam Village, to the house where Subaru and Bastian had camped the other night. It still unsettled Subaru somewhat, but they had to stay somewhere.
Rifling through the larder, Bastian gathered what all he could find. The only food he could find that was still usable were some potatoes. Bastian opted to roast them over the fire. Subaru tried to resist comparing Bastian to Ram again in this regard.
Subaru: [Of course, she steamed her potatoes…]
Bastian: [Hm? Can steam them if you want.]
Subaru: [Ah, no. Roasting is fine.]
He resisted poorly.
Bastian: [So, how do you feel?]
Subaru: [Well, I think all the work and lack of sleep is catching up to me again, and I haven't eaten much of anything all day…]
Bastian & Beatrice: [Subaru.]
Subaru: [Woah, both of you?!]
His companions were in perfect sync as they chided Subaru's flippancy. They were clearly getting at something else.
Subaru: [Okay, I get what you mean… I'm feeling… maybe a little better. Crying was good. I mean, I've cried more in the last few days than at any other point in my life. If I never cry again, though, it'd be too soon.]
Even now, his eyes were somewhat puffy from crying. He wondered if his tear ducts had been overworked, or if it were even possible for him to cry anymore. Part of him hoped he couldn't.
Subaru: [It's a relief knowing the remains of my loved ones aren't just out in the open anymore, and that they've received proper burials. Words can hardly describe how happy I am that we found Beako…]
He looked to his new partner as he said this, smiling earnestly as he did.
Beatrice: [W-well, Betty's pretty happy you found her, too, I suppose…]
She was getting flustered again. It seems companionship was something she needed to get used to first. Having been a shut-in for over 400 years, this was understandable. Privately, Subaru hoped it wouldn't take another 400 years for her to get used to interacting with others.
Subaru: [Over all, I'd say I've found something resembling the resolve to move forward. I won't delude myself into thinking I'm over this. I'd have to be some sort of heartless monster for that to be the case. But finding that resolve… it really makes a world of a difference.]
He smiled bittersweetly as he assessed his progress. Of course, it leaned more on the bitter end than on the sweet, as he'd had a realization.
Subaru: [I… I guess there's no reason for you to help me anymore, huh Bastian?]
Bastian: [Oh?]
Subaru: [Well, I've returned and mourned like we agreed. There's nothing left to keep you traveling with me…]
Bastian: [Seem to be forgetting the other half of the accord.]
Subaru: [… huh?]
Bastian: [Properly mourning was just the beginning. Making amends comes next.]
Subaru: [Oh yeah…]
Bastian: [Said it yourself: making amends started with… Beatrice-sama.]
Getting used to referring to Beatrice by her name was going to be difficult for the former Acolyte Knight. Still, he recalled correctly. Their stated goals were for Subaru to properly mourn and to make amends with those he'd left behind. This just left one question…
Subaru: [Where do I even begin…?]
There were a lot of people with whom Subaru felt he had to make things right. He'd walked out on the Crusch Camp while he'd been admitted as Ferris' patient. His flight had effectively forced Reinhard and Puck into a confrontation, resulting in the death of the latter. But there was one thing that came to Subaru, something that had been stuck in the back of his mind for some time now.
Subaru: [Roswaal…]
Bastian: [Owner of the mansion? What of him?]
Subaru: [He wasn't just the owner of that mansion. He's also a powerful mage. He'd supposedly been elsewhere in the Mathers Domain on Royal Selection business. I never really knew where exactly he'd gone, though.]
Bastian: [Hm. So he could still be alive?]
Subaru: [Possibly, though something doesn't sit right with me.]
Beatrice: [What is that, in fact?]
Subaru: [Well, think about it. It's been over three months. This was his mansion. You think he'd have come back to check in on things, right? But do either of you recall any signs of anyone else having been here since that fateful day? I mean, surely if he'd been here, he'd have done something about everyone's remains, maybe started rebuilding.]
Bastian: [Instead, everything seems frozen in time out there.]
Subaru: [Exactly. Where was Roswaal? Why hasn't he returned yet? Moreover… if he'd been here…]
Subaru's fists clenched just thinking about the confusion surrounding Roswaal.
Subaru: [If he'd been here, this attack wouldn't have happened.]
Beatrice: [Subaru…]
Beatrice place her hand on one of his clenched fists to try and calm him down.
Subaru: [I was weak. I still am weak. But Roswaal…]
He recalled how Roswaal had performed Al Goa on the Boss Wolgarm in the woods outside of Irlam Village. One spell was all it had taken to kill something Subaru had barely even scratched after much effort on his part.
Subaru: [Roswaal could've prevented this. I need answers from him. I need to find him.]
Bastian narrows his eyes at this notion. He clearly believed Subaru had a ways to go yet.
Bastian: [Haaaaah. Alright. Let's find Roswaal. Got any leads?]
Subaru: [That's…]
Beatrice: [Betty may have some idea where that clown has gone, in fact.]
Subaru: [Way to go, Beako! Where could he be?]
Beatrice: [At his mansion.]
There was a pause after she'd said this. Subaru and Bastian exchanged a confused glance.
Subaru: [Uh, Beatrice… we searched the entirety of that mansion. Even the inner sanctum. You were the only person we found in there.]
Beatrice: [Betty doesn't mean this mansion, in fact. This is but Roswaal's auxiliary mansion.]
Subaru: ["Auxiliary mansion?!" Damn, that clown must've been loaded…]
Beatrice: [Indeed. His family's mansion is located outside of the city of Costuul, due southwest of here, in fact.]
Bastian: [Sounds like Costuul's our next stop, then.]
Subaru: [Let's just rest here for the rest of the day. We can set out tomorrow.]
Bastian: [Mm. Won't do to be exhausted before we hit the road.]
And so, they did just that. They stayed in that abandoned house, chatting and sharing stories with each other as they stayed warm by the fire. It was a cozy feeling.