Shinya's eyes flew wide open with fright, though he was so exhausted and muddled that he was not yet positive whether he was awake or sleep.
Someone was knocking on the door. He realized that he fall asleep on the couch. He was watching the video of him, Claire and Takuya and their father (Don).
Confused and clumsy with sleep, he stumbled out of the couch, left the TV on and went to the door.
And then a familiar, husky voice called.
"Shinya!" it hissed. "Damn it, open the door!"
Shinya needed two seconds to move, but then hurried to the door knob. The clouds were dimly lit from behind, enough for him to make sense of shapes.
"Where have you been?" Shinya gasped.
"She broke up with"—he huffed—"I broke my promise to her!"
"When did you ever promise to come home midnight?"
He snorted, unamused. "Why are you still up?"
"What? Zoe…you…gone…how?" Shinya blurted.
Takuya cried himself. Takuya sat near the front door. Zoe's harsh rejection had punched a painful new hole in what was left of his chest. She'd left a new nightmare behind her, like an infection in a sore—the insult after the injury.
"Big brother, talk," Shinya ordered.
"I had an affair…she caught me cheating…we talked while ago…she broke up with me…I explained everything to Lilith, the girl I had an affair…went home…explaining things to my buck-toothed little brother—"
"Okay, I get it!" Shinya interrupted him. "You had an affair?"
"I didn't mean to," Takuya replied. "Besides, I left Lilith."
"Why?" Shinya mumbled.
"I screwed up, Shinya. I ruined everything."
"Big brother, can I punch you?" Shinya asked.
"Sure, sure," he muttered.
Shinya smacked Takuya's face. "Wow. That actually felt good," Shinya exclaimed. Shinya hit Takuya once more. "Are you regretting what you've done?"
"I just met Lilith last two weeks ago at the park. At first, I thought Zoe was the one I wanted and Lilith was the one I needed."
"So you insisted of not telling Zoe? You could've at least broken up with Zoe before you do anything more stupid with that Lilith," Shinya scolded.
"I'm afraid to hurt her."
"Well, congratulations! You just did."
"I was afraid to make a choice."
"Will you snap out of it, big brother?" Shinya smacked Takuya's head.
"OUCH!" Takuya hissed. "Hey!"
"Look what you've done. Instead of losing one, you lost two of them," Shinya pointed. Shinya went into the living room and continued watching their family video. Takuya followed him.
"You know, big brother. I know a person who knows how to stand up for himself and put up a fight. And when something goes wrong, he'll find a way to fix it," Shinya explained.
A wide grin spread slowly across Takuya's face; he seemed extremely pleased with Shinya's explanation. It was the grin that they knew and loved.
That was a bit much for Shinya.
"Thanks Shinya," Takuya patted Shinya's head.
Shinya smiled for himself and continued watching the video.
It was a video where they are happy and together. Don. Claire. Takuya. Shinya.
"Smile for the video camera!" Don adjusted the palm-sized digital video camera a few times carefully, widened the frame. The eight years old Takuya stared at the camera. Eating his ice cream
"Hi!" Takuya waved. "And here we are hanging out at the Amusement Park!" Takuya jumped.
"You know, big brother," the five year-old Shinya said, looking directly at his ice cream. "The best part in ice cream is at the bottom."
"I know…" when Takuya was about to have his one last bite, Shinya pulled it off of his hands and swallow it. "Shinya! Mom!"
"I'm innocent!" Shinya chewed the cone with chocolate in front of Takuya. Making him jealous.
"Okay, boys, we'll buy another one later," Claire said.
Takuya and Shinya smirked at the same time.
Another video that they've never watched before played. It was a video message from Don and Claire.
"That's weird, I haven't seen that before," Shinya raised an eyebrow.
"Dear Takuya and Shinya," Don greeted.
"If someday we won't be together, we're going to miss you so much," Claire said.
"Never forget to put your study first boys," Don reminded him.
"Ahem," Shinya hissed.
"Believe us that there is so much good near you than bad," Claire said.
"All you gotta do is look hard enough."
"Know what's best for you, boys," Claire said.
"We want you to know that we love you," Don followed.
"It feels us with pride to know that no matter what happens in your life that we know you'd take care with each other."
"With kindness, bravery and selflessness that you always have," Don added. "And remember one thing Takuya and Shinya and don't forget it…"
"That no matter where we are…" Claire continued.
"Know that as long as you have each other…"
"You're family, and you are home…"
"We love you forever and always Takuya and Shinya." Don and Clare said at the same moment.
"Okay, that's enough for one night," Takuya said when Shinya yawned. "Get some sleep, Shinya." Takuya turned off the TV.
"Well, I hope tomorrow you've got to get your head working. I know you can fix your mistakes. I believe in you."
"Thanks for your encouragement, little brother. I won't lose Zoe, Shinya. Not for this."
Shinya went to their room, opening the door quietly, and then crashing on the bed.
Takuya followed Shinya, lying back on his bed, his head spinning. He was too hurt than confused, too worn out. He closed his eyes, trying to make sense of it, only to be swallowed up by unconsciousness so swiftly that it was disorienting.
It was not that peaceful, dreamless sleep he'd yearned for—of course not. He was in the meadow, and he started to wander the way he always did.
And then Zoe was there. He grabbed her hand, pulling her back toward the meadow.
"Takuya, what's wrong with you?" She asked. Shoving him back. Her face was the frightened face of a girl, and she's beautiful. She yanked with all her strength, but Takuya resisted; Zoe didn't want to go to the meadow.
"Sorry, Zoe, sorry1" he whispered, terrified.
The abrupt wave of déjà vu was so strong it nearly woke Takuya up.
A light was coming toward them. But he was getting ahead of himself. Something else had to happen first.
Zoe dropped his hand and yelped. Shaking and twitching away from him. In her place she was burning.
The dream veered off course, like a train jumping tracks.
Takuya woke screaming at the top of his lungs.
Shinya come to check on Takuya. He buried his head in his pillow and tried to muffle the hysterics. He pressed the cotton tight against his face, wondering if he couldn't also somehow smother the connection he'd just made.
"Hey, are you okay?" Shinya snapped.
"I know it all now—I know what to do." Takuya gasped.
"Sometimes, I think of you being possessed," Shinya walked out of the room.
There was something stuck in his throat choking him. He tried to swallow it down, but it was lodged there, unmoving. He tried to spit it out.
"Zoe," he gasped.
Yes, that was the word that he was choking on.
The whole world lurched, tilting the wrong way on its axis.
He clutched his head in his hands, trying to keep it from exploding.
In his head, everything spun and shifted, rearranging so that things that had meant one thing before, now meant something else.
Suddenly, he was in a frantic hurry. He glanced at the clock—it was way too early and he didn't care. He need some help. He had to see Koji, JP and Koichi so he could tell them that he had almost had lost his mind altogether.
He pulled on the first clean clothes he could find, not bothering to be sure they matched, and took the stairs two at a time. He almost ran into Shinya as he skidded into the hallway, headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked, as surprised to see him as he was too seeing Shinya. "Do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah. I need some help with my friends."
"Good luck with that."
"I'll hope for the best, if they have to hit me, I'll take it."
"It's pretty early." He frowned when Takuya's expression didn't change. "Don't you want breakfast?"
"Not hungry." The words flew through his lips. Shinya was blocking his path to the exit. Takuya considered ducking around him and making a run for it, but he knew he would have to explain to him later. "I'll be back—Oooh…Pancakes!"
Shinya smiled. "One bite would be okay," Takuya took a one big bite of the pancake.
"Straight to Minamoto's house, right? No stops on JP's?"
"Of course not, where would I stop?" His words were running together in a hurry.
"I don't know," Shinya admitted.
Takuya hesitated, his stomach spinning in uncomfortable loops.
"See ya later, little brother…by the way, delicious pancakes!" he commented.
Minamoto's house was dark, no lights in the windows, but he didn't care is he woke them. His fist thudded against the front door with angry energy; the sound reverberated through the walls.
"Come in," he heard Koichi call after a minute, and a light flicked on.
He twisted the knob; it was unlocked. Koji was leaning around an open doorway just off the little kitchen. When Koji saw who it was, his eyes widened briefly, and then his face turned stoic.
"Well, good morning, Takuya. What are you doing up so early?"
"Hey, Koji. Can I have a favor?"
"First, we need to talk," he said, straight-faced.
"Fine," he muttered under his breath as he stalked to the hallway. Koji sighed.
"You should be thankful that Mom and Dad are out," Koichi snapped. Sitting at the stairs.
"Do you know you just did?" Koji demanded, sick of the stalling.
"Yep," Takuya replied.
"You cheated on Zoe."
Takuya's expression flickered, and then went black.
"How are you going to fix this?" Koichi continued.
Koji and Koichi pursed their thick lips for a long moment. "Don't tell us you want us to help you with that Lilith," Koichi finally said, nodding toward the tiny hallway off the front room.
"You're out late a lot these days making out with another girl—shame," Koji scolded. Koji and Koichi folded their arms across their chest.
"Are you guys done now?" he asked in an expressionless voice.
"Yes," they sighed.
"I think I'm nothing but a stupid jerk."
Koji and Koichi nodded, and then they gazed at each other for a minute.
Takuya could see many questions for him in their dark eyes, but he didn't voice them either.
"Look," he said, breaking the loud silence. "I'll set my mistakes right. But I'm gonna need your help, okay?"
"In one condition," Koji agreed.
"Name it," Takuya responded.
Koji punched Takuya before Koichi did.
"Okay…OW!" Takuya moaned. "How many times do I have to get punched? A hundred. I hope JP's in the good mood," Takuya wondered.
They walked down to JP's house. It was still dark—the gloomy predawn of a cloudy day—it was colder at JP's house, with the wind whipping off, and they shoved their hands deep into the pockets of their pants. At least the rain had stopped.
As Takuya thought, JP was going to punch him. Takuya paced down on the ground when he was punched by JP. He couldn't see the bright side, just the cause and effect. He picked his way up carefully, his friends watching him.
"I've regret what I've done!" Takuya yelled. "I hurt Zoe…but I didn't mean to, okay?" he screamed.
"Jeez, calm down," JP snorted.
"Get cha' head in the game, Takuya!" Koji pointed.
"What's the plan, boss?" Koichi asked Takuya.
"Hi, Zoe."
Koji's greeted. It was soft, almost shy. She could see his silhouette against the coming sunrise—it looked enormous.
"Koji? Come in." Koji went in.
"Takuya told me everything—he said he was more than sorry. I knew how it feels."
"Yeah, it's like a big hole punched through my chest all the time," she whispered.
It was quiet for a long moment and, though it was still too dark to see well, her skin prickled as if his eyes were searching his face. There must have been enough light for him to read her expression, because when he spoke again, his voice was suddenly acidic.
"You could have just called," she said harshly.
He nodded. "I know."
"Why did you come?" she demanded, not halting her angry side.
"I thought you need a friend."
Zoe snorted. "Oh, much better."
"Zoe, Takuya's dying to have you—"
"Isn't what he has done enough? Don't worry about it. I never want to talk to him ever again."
"Don't worry about it?" he demanded in disbelief. "Zoe, he didn't mean to! He needs you because—"
"I can take care of myself without him," she growled. "He won't fool me anymore. He's only making it more difficult—"
"Zoe!" Koji hissed, interrupting her.
"What?"
His voice was pale with revulsion. "How can you…feel that way? I know Takuya. He loves you!" The thought made her stomach twist.
She came to an abrupt stop. "What do you want me to feel?" she retorted. "Happy?" Zoe forced a smile. "Swee-eet! I caught my boy friend cheating! How's that?"
The sun turned the clouds slivery pink, shining through the window glasses. Koji could see her expression now; it was angry, frustrated, betrayed.
"Then read my lips! FORGET IT!" Zoe yelled.
"Could you…well, try not being stubborn for a…minute?" Koji suggested in a whisper.
He threw his hand sup in the air. "Like I have a choice about it!" she shouted. "And how would that help anything, if you're worried about me?"
"I don't understand you."
She glared at him, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twisting into s snarl. "You know what makes me so mad I could just kill?"
Koji flinched away from her hostile expression. She seemed to be waiting for an answer, so she shook her head.
"Takuya was right, you are stubborn—there you shout and yell, can't you give Takuya a second chance?"
"How is that fair?" Her hands shook with anger. "I'm sure you're on Takuya's side because he's your best friend," she snorted.
"Ugh!" Koji groan, pressing his trembling fists to his temples and squeezing his eyes shut. "Would you listen to yourself?"
"What?"
He took two steps toward her, leaning over her and glaring in fury. "Well, I'm so sorry that Takuya hurt, Zoe. Takuya's a great person Zoe, and so are you."
Zoe jumped to her feet and glared back. "If his so great, then why did he hurt me?" She shouted. "Is it what I am, stupid, is it what I do?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" he roared, his entire frame quivering with rage. "Zoe," he pleaded, making his tone soft and even. "Could we all just forgive and forget? Isn't there some other way? I mean, you two could move on and start something new, a new life."
She straightened up with a jerk, like his words had sent an electric shock through him. Her eyebrows shot up and her eyes stared wide.
"Forgive and forget?" she demanded.
"What did you think we were talking about?"
She wasn't trembling anymore. She looked at Koji with half-hopeful disbelief. "You think I could just forget about what he had done in a blink of an eye?"
"Yes, Zoe, yes. I'm telling you to give him a…chance. That would make me feel fine," Koji promise her, and he knew as he said the words that he meant them. "Just find a way not hurting Takuya…that's all that won't upset me. He's an innocent person, Zoe, people like Mr. Orimoto, and he can't move on without—"
"Is that all? Really?" she interrupted him, a smile breaking across his face. "You'll be upset because I won't forgive him? That's the only reason?"
"Isn't that reason enough?"
She started to laugh.
"Zoe Orimoto, this is so not funny!"
"Whatever," she agreed, still chortling.
She took one long stride and caught Koji in hug.
"You really, honestly don't mind that I won't give him a chance?" she asked, her voice joyful in Koji's ear.
"No," he gasped. "You've' got a point—this is your choice, this is your life."
He let her go, but took both Koji's hands. "If we're really meant for each other, love will find a way to get as together again."
Koji studied her face, and it was clear that this was the truth. Relief pulsed through him.
"Really?" Koji asked.
"Really," Zoe promised solemnly.
Koji threw his arms around her, he stroked her hair.
"Sorry for the inconvenience," he apologized.
"Sorry for yelling at you."
He laughed.
She thought of something then, and pulled away from him so that she could see his face. Her eyebrows furrowed in anxiety. "How's Takuya? And the others?"
He shook his head, smiling like a huge burden had been removed from his shoulders. "Takuya's heart broke. Don't mind the others."
The memory was clear—she'd just been thinking of Takuya every day.