FACELIFT

"Let me go!" Mineta shouted.

Mineta clawed his way towards the mirror floating suspiciously at the far end of the room.

"I'm not letting you get Inverse'd!" Sero shouted back as he wrapped Mineta in his stickiest tape.

"For too long, I've been the universe's punching bag. Too short, too ugly, too creepy for girls. It's time for me to be the ultimate ladies' man!"

"You don't even know if it will work. What if you become afraid of girls, or too pious to consider touching them?"

"One in three are odds I'm willing to take."

"That's not how probability works!"

"I don't care if it's a one in a million. I'm gonna go for it."

"Sure, go right ahead."

Sero let him go. Mineta squinted suspiciously at him.

"Wait, why? You were just holding me back a second ago."

"Yeah, but then I figured, it's not really my responsibility, you know? Everybody's gotta live their own lives, make their own choices. Protecting people from everything just keeps them from experiencing life."

"Wow. That's really deep, Sero."

"Yep. Now, if you'll excuse me, time to pursue my passion in arts and crafts! See ya!"

Sero went to leave, but Mineta stuck him to the floor. With wide, bloodshot eyes, Mineta asked, "Did you just get Inverse'd?"

"I dunno. I don't feel any different."

"Why did you enroll at U.A. then?"

"Because I don't want to fall into the starving artist stereotype. Heroes get plenty of free time to work on side-projects."

"Hmm…" Mineta jumped on a table. With a frustrated grunt, he kept stomping on it until it finally cracked. "Oh no, someone sawed this table in half! If only someone had some really strong tape to fix it!"

Sero brightened. "I know just the thing." He pulled out a bottle of glue and stuck the two halves back together.

Mineta throttled him and shouted, "I knew it! You did get Inverse'd! Where is it? Where's the mirror!"

"I don't know, I swear!"

Mineta dangled him out of the window. "Swear to me!"

"We're on the ground floor. How is that supposed to hurt?"

"Huh, good point." Mineta dropped Sero and went back to mirror hunting. Just as he was about to give up, he spotted the gleam of glass. "Aha! Finally found you!"

Mineta ran full-tilt at the mirror. The mirror shattered into a hundred glass shards, and Mineta face-planted into the concrete wall directly behind it.

Woozily, Mineta sat up. His jawline had impeccable angles, and his face had the suave aesthetic of a popular actor. "Am I popular yet?"

A passing woman stopped in her tracks. "Oh my god, that guy is gorgeous."

More women congregated around him. Before long, Mineta found himself as the rope in four women's impromptu game of tug-of-war.

Tears in his eyes, Mineta shouted, "Yes! It worked! Thank you Inverse!"

A mirror fell through the crowd. Mineta looked at the women fighting for his affection and shrieked in terror.

497

The universe can't handle a reality where Mineta can actually score a date.