heartbreaker19: of course this isn't over, i'm just getting started! and the quote you were saying: (a)do you love me because you need me? (b)or you need me because you love me. . . . if you choose a, it means u're a user. if u choose b, it means u're a lover.

what's up readers? enjoy the chapter!

February

Zoe had the sense that she'd been asleep for a very long time—her body was stiff, like she hadn't moved once through all the time, either. Her mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreams—dreams and nightmares—swirled dizzily around the inside of her head. They were so vivid. The horrible and the heavenly all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was s sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't move fast enough…The dream was still strong—she could even remember the names. But the strongest part, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the angel that was most clear.

It was hard to let him go and wake up for her. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the vault of dreams she refused to visit. She struggled with it as her mind became more alert, focusing on reality. She couldn't remember what day of the week it was, but she was sure Takuya or school or work or something was waiting for her. She inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day.

She squeezed her eyes more tightly shut. She was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. She was so close to waking…any seconds now, it would be gone.

But she realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for her. The arms she imagined wrapped around her were far too substantial. If she let this go any further, she'd be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, she wrenched back her eyelids to dispel the illusion.

"Oh!" she gasped, and threw her fists over her eyes.

Well, clearly, she'd gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let her imagination get so out of hand. Okay, so "let" was the wrong words. She'd forced it to get out of hand—pretty much stalked her hallucinations—and now her mind had snapped.

It took less than half a second for her to realize that, as long as she was truly insane now, she might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant.

She opened her eyes again—as her cell phone rang, just inches away from her. She pushed the button.

"We need you here, Zoe," Koji's low voice was anxious.

This was not very good, as delusions went. This surprised her; her hallucinatory dream was usually fed.

She blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing she was sure real…

"Oh, crap," she croaked. Her throat was thick with sleeping,

She frowned unhappily.

"I'm late, right?" she moaned. "Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill me."

"You're not late."

"Then why are you calling me?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows.

"As your assistant of the organizer of the Valentine's Day Ball, we need to plan things. So I need you here, Zoe."

She shook her head. "Sure, sure. Thanks for making me the organizer of the Ball…" she trailed off.

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." She can feel him grin. "Did you have any date?"

Zoe grimaced. "Obviously none. And I'm not interested in having a date."

He sighed.

Her head was getting clearer. Her eyes flickered away—unwillingly—for one second, to the dark, open window. She started to remember details…and she felt a faint.

"Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

"I'm not tired anymore." It was all coming clear now. "What time is it?"

"It's just after four in the morning. Mr. Orimoto told me you went straight to bed when you got home. Men—you were a machine yesterday."

She stretched as he spoke. She was so stiff.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"House. You should probably know we've got work to do. Well, not technically, since we've got a week before the Ball…But, still, we gotta move."

"I'll meet you at school." She said, belief quickly melting into serenity.

"See ya. Bye."

Her eyes were active. She was going to have a few words with Koji—it didn't matter so much, of course, except on principle. All too soon there would be no reason for the prohibition. She turned her thoughts to less painful avenues.

At School

Five-thirty at their school's park, Koji and Zoe were planning how the Ball will go.

"What's the story?" she asked, genuinely curious, but also trying desperately to keep the conversation casual, to keep a firm grip on herself, so she wouldn't scare him away with the frantic, gnawing craving that was raging inside of her.

"I'll take notes," Koji sat on the table while he brought out a pen and a notebook.

"Lights—Music—Decoration—DJ—Flyers. Of course, the venue will be at the Gym. "She tried to count the days in her head.

"How are we going to do all of these in one week?" His eyes tightened, but he smiled more naturally this time. "Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation about this to our Ms. Parker. I've got nothing."

Zoe groaned. "Fabulous."

"Well, maybe the others will come up with something," he offered, trying to comfort her.

And she was comforted.

"So," she began, picking the least important—though still vitally interesting—plans to start with. "Dancers—Singers—Special numbers—before the party ends, there will be glitter works."

"Glitter works?" Koji repeated. "What the heck is that?"

Her face turned wary in an instant. "Well, I just call it glitter works…their like fireworks but their glitter. You don't wanna have a fire in the gym, do you?"

"Of course not," he mumbled.

"Well…" she pursued her lips, considering. "Any suggestions Koji?"

He sighed. "What about make the glitter-works when it's time for slow dance?"

"Perfect!" She exclaimed respectfully. He waited for her answer. "Maybe," she said after a second of thought. "Maybe a date would be fine."

"You really…mean that?"

"I don't wanna be a loner, do I?" she criticized. "It's just a date for the Valentine's Day Dance."

He hesitated, and then spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. "How are you…going to find a right…date? I'm not very good at this."

"Good question," she replied. "I have no idea!" she exclaimed, intrigued.

"You're smart. You're blonde. You're cute. You'll get a date in no time." His words didn't match his expression; he looked pleased, comfortable.

She blushed a little. "Thanks for the admiration," she laughed.

He hesitated; his face, shining with an odd green cast from the light of the school.

"Can—" he took a deep breath. "If I ask you to be my date, will you agree?"

"Are you asking?"

He blushed but Zoe didn't notice it. "No, of course not, I'm comfortable of being like this. But you have to know"—the words began to flow fast, the way she remembered he spoke sometimes when he was agitated, that she had really to concentrate to catch them all—"that Takuya's going to ask you to be his date on Valentine's Day Dance. What are you going—"

"I have a better idea," she interrupted him. He stared at her with his eyes.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking," Koji raised his eyebrows.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing of consequence."

Before the English Class Starts

Koji sat beside Zoe with his lips curled back. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"I don't know," she replied.

"It's pretty like challenging though."

"I don't care."

"Takuya's not in the room yet."

"So…?"

"Aren't you going to wait for him?"

"Why do I even care?"

He groaned. "Never mind."

"Yeah. Forget that you said that."

Zoe walked in front the room, and sat on the desk of Ms. Parker.

"Attention. Attention. May I have your attention?" Zoe used the kind of voice at the airport.

Koji and Koichi laughed at the back as Zoe fooled around. Nobody listened to her, they were too busy making a commotion.

"HEY!" Koji yelled and everyone snapped into silence. "Zoe had something to say." Everybody's eyes stared into Zoe. Zoe's eyes widened in shock.

"Um…thanks, Koji," Zoe muttered. "Okay, so here goes," she took a deep breath. "The first boy that will give me three roses with one love letter will be my date on the Valentine's Day Dance. That's all." Then Zoe sat at the back with Koji and Koichi.

All of their classmates continued what they were doing while others were writing love letters.

"This is ridiculous," Zoe chuckled. "I knew it."

"How many boys asked you out?" Koji asked.

"I don't know, this year maybe more or less five," she answered

"How many boys asked you to be their date on Valentine's Day Dance?" Koichi questioned.

"Hmm...I rejected Bret, James, Ivan and Ryan," she replied. "What's with the questions guys?"

"Competition. Competition." Koji mumbled.

"You're smart. You're blond. You're cute." Koichi snapped "What kind of a boy wouldn't like you?" Koichi snapped. "Koji and I like you!"

Koji and Zoe eyed him in shock. Zoe raised an eyebrow.

"As a friend," Koichi added.

Zoe went back to her seat as the Ms. Parker came in. For the rest of the day. The boys were impossible, following her around, obsessed with making amends to her somehow. She tried to convince them what she wanted more than anything else was for them to give her three roses—especially one love letter—but they remained insistent. They followed her between classes and sat at her now-crowded lunch table. The boys were even less friendly toward each other, which made her worry that she'd gained another unwelcomed fan.

No one seemed to concern about the senior girls, though she explained over and over to the boys that this was just for fun. She tried to be convincing.

Zoe was surrounded by crowds of curious senior girls eager for her firsthand account. Senior girls avoided her from this day. All of them, especially the boys, glanced her way.

When Takuya sat next her in class, as far from her as the table would allow, he seemed totally unaware of her presence. Only now and then, when his fists would suddenly ball up—skin stretched even wither over the bones—did she wonder if he wasn't quiet as oblivious as he appeared.

She wanted to very much to talk to him.

He was already seated when they were in Biology, looking straight ahead. She sat down, expecting him to turn toward her. He showed no sign that he realize she was there.

"Hello, Takuya," she said pleasantly, to show him she was going to behave herself.

And that was the last contact she'd had with him, though he was there, a foot away from her, every day. She watched though sometimes, unable to stop herself—from a distance, though, in the cafeteria, outside the campus. She watched as his chocolate brown eyes grew darker day by day. But in class she gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward her. She was miserable. And the dreams continued.

Boys grew more confident, sitting on the edge of her table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Takuya as completely as he ignored them.

The sun continued heavily, though the days have passed.

"Are you sure you don't mind…you weren't planning to ask Takuya?" Koji persisted when she told him she didn't mind at least.

"No, Koji, I have no plan on doing that," she assured him.

"The Dance will be really fun." She suspected that Koji enjoyed her inexplicable popularity more than her actual company.

"I'm pretty excited than nervous.

The next day, Zoe was surprised that Takuya wasn't his usual gushing self. He was silent as he walked by her side between classes and she was afraid to him why.

Her fears were strengthened during lunch when Takuya sat as far from her as possible, he was unusually quiet was Zoe chatted animatedly with Koji.

Takuya was still quiet as he walked her to class, the uncomfortable look on his face a bad sign. But he didn't broach the subject until she was in her seat and he was perched on her desk. As always, she was electrically aware of Takuya sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely an invention of her imagination.

Kyle made a move toward Zoe with a red rose in his hand.

"So," Kyle said, looking at the floor. "Here's the rose you were asking."

Zoe took it and smiled.

"This great." She made her voice bright and enthusiastic. "Have fun at the Dance."

"Well…" he floundered as he examined her smile, clearly not happy with her response. "Are you saying you're my date on the Dance?"

"Why would I do that/" Zoe let a disapproval color her tone, though she was relieved he hadn't give him an absolute no.

His face was bright red as he looked down again. Pity shook her resolve.

"I was wondering if…well, if you heard what I said that three roses with one love letter."

She paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept though her. But she saw, from the corner of her eye, Takuya's head tilt reflexively in her direction.

"Did you already have someone?" Did Takuya notice how Kyle's eyes flickered in his direction?

"No," he assured Kyle.

"Why not?" Kyle demanded.

"Didn't you hear what is said? I said three red roses with one love letter," she explained.

"Isn't one red rose good enough?"

"Sorry, no," she said. "So shouldn't make you wait any longer—it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back his seat. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of her head. Mr. Broman began talking. She sighed and opened her eyes.

And Takuya was staring at her curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his brown eyes.

She stared back, surprised, expecting him to look quickly away. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into her eyes. There was no question of her looking away. Her hands started to shake.

"Mr. Kanbara?" the teacher called, seeking to answer a question that she hadn't heard.

"The Krebs cycle," Takuya answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Broman.

She looked down at her book as his eyes released her, trying to find her place. Cowardly as ever, she shifted her hair over her right shoulder to hide her face. She couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through her—just because she'd happened to look at her for the first time in a week. She couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over her. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.

She tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and since that was impossible, at least not to let him know that she was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, she turned her back to him to gather her things, expecting him to leave immediately usual.

"Zoe?" his voice shouldn't have been so familiar to her, as if she'd know the sound of it all her life rather than for just two short days.

She turned slowly, unwillingly. She didn't want to feel she would feel when she looked at his too-perfect face. Her expression was wary when she finally turned to him; his expression was unreadable. He didn't say anything.

"What? Are you talking to me again?" she finally asked an unintentional note of petulance in her voice.

Is lips twitched, fighting a smile. "No, not really," he admitted.

She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly though her nose, aware that she was gritting her teeth. He waited.

"Then what do you want, Takuya?" she asked keeping her eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere. "I didn't mean to ignore you this passed two days.

She opened her eyes. His face was very serious.

"Whatever, I don't care anymore," she said, her voice guarded.

"So, three red roses and one love letter?" he muttered. "I don't get it."

Her eyes narrowed.

"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier" she hissed through her teeth. "You should've seen how many love letters are in my locker."

"Love letters?" the word, and her tone, obviously caught him off guard. "Why three roses?"

"Find your stupid questions by yourself."

He was astonished. He stared at her disbelief.

When he finally spoke, he almost sounded mad. "Why did you rejected Kyle?"

"You know why," she snapped.

He turned her head sharply away from him, clenching her jaw against all the wild accusations she wanted to hurl at him. She gathered her books together, then stood and walked to the door. She meant to sweep dramatically out of the doorjamb, and dropped her books. She stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then she sighed and bent to pick them up. He was there; he'd already stack them into a pile. He handed them to her, his face hard.

"Thank you," she said icily.

His eyes narrowed.

"You're welcome," he retorted.

She straightened up swiftly, turned away from him again, and stalked off to Gym without looking back.

Gym was brutal. They'd moved on to basketball. Her team always passed her the ball, so that was bad, but she didn't fell down a lot. Sometimes she never took people with her. Today she was better than usual because her head was so filled with Takuya. She tried to concentrate on her feet, but he kept creeping back into her thoughts just when she really needed her balance.

She almost had a stroke when she saw a tall, dark figure leaning against the side of her locker. Then she realized it was just Ian. She started walking again.

"Hey, Ian," she called.

"Hi, Zoe."

"What's up?" she said as she was unlocking her locker. She wasn't paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next words took her by surprise. He handed her a heart-shaped chocolate.

"Uh, I was just wondering…if you would go to the Dance with me." His voice broke on the last word.

"I thought I already told you guys that three red roses with one love letter," she said, too startled to be diplomatic.

"Well, chocolates cooler than red rose," he admitted, shamefaced.

She recovered her composure and tried to make her smile warm. "Thank you for asking me and this nice-looking chocolate, but I said three red roses with one love letter."

"Oh," he said. "Well, see ya."

"Sure," she agreed, and then bit her lip. She wouldn't want the boys to take her rejections too literally.

He slouched off, back toward the school. She heard a low chuckle.

Takuya was walking past her, looking straight forward his lips pressed together.

She yanked he locker open and there goes the pool of papers.

"Oh, what do we have here? An overflowing love letters, how sweet!" she sniffed and put the entire love letter inside her backpack, maybe twenty of them.

She slammed her locked loudly. Takuya was outside already, two spaces away from her, sliding out smoothly in front of her, cutting her off. He stopped there—to wait for the rest of his friends; she could see the three of them walking this way, but still by the cafeteria. She was too aggravated to acknowledge him.

While she was standing there, looking everywhere but at in front of her. She looked over behind her; Ivan was there. She glanced back at Ivan, confused.

"I'm sorry, Ivan, I wanna go home already," she was annoyed.

"Oh, I know—I just wanted to ask you something."

This could not be happening.

"Will you ask me to the dance?" he continued.

"No three red roses and no love letter, Ivan." Her voice sounded a little sharp. She had to remember it wasn't his fault that Kyle and Ian had already used up her quota of patience for the day.

"Yeah, Kyle said that," he admitted.

"Then why—"

He shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting his down easy."

Okay, it was completely his fault.

"Sorry, Ivan," she said, working to hide her irritation. "I really want the three red roses with one love letter."

"That's cool. We still have prom."

And before he could respond, he was walking back away from her. She could feel the shock on her face. She looked forward to Koji, Koichi and JP all sliding beside Takuya. Takuya's eyes were on me. He was unquestionably shaking with laughter. Her foot itched away from them.

Takuya and the others were speeding away home. Zoe walked home slowly, carefully, muttering to herself the whole way.

When Takuya got home, he decided to make chicken enchiladas for dinner while Shinya's doing his homework. It was a long process, and it would keep him busy. While he was simmering the onions and chilies, the phone rang. He was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be Zoe.

It was Koji, and he was jubilant; he reminded him about the Dance. He celebrated with him briefly while he stirred. He had to go, Koji wanted to call his other friends to tell them. Koji thought that Zoe made a great Ball organizer. He actually sounded sincere.

After he hung up, he tried to concentrate on dinner—dicing the chicken especially; he didn't want to take a trip to the emergency room. But his head was spinning, trying to analyze every word Zoe had spoken today.

His stomach twisted. She must see how absorbed he was by her; she must not want to lead him on…because she wasn't interested in her at all. Not anymore. Not after she broke up with him.

Of course she wasn't interested at him, he thought angrily, his eyes stinging—a delayed reaction to the onions. He wasn't interesting. And she was. Interesting…and brilliant…and mysterious…and perfect…and beautiful…

Well that was fine. He could leave her alone. He already left her alone. He would get through his self-imposed sentence here in purgatory, and then hopefully some school in the Southwest, or possibly Hawaii, would offer him a scholarship. He focused his thoughts on sunny beaches and palm trees as he finished the enchiladas and put them in the oven.

The closest edible Mexican food was probably in southern California. Shinya seemed to like it. It was fun to watch as he slowly began trusting Takuya in the kitchen.

"Big brother?" he asked when she was almost done.

"Yeah, Shinya?"

"Um, is there any chance that you and Zoe could get together again?"

"Why?" he sounded surprise.

"Well, I like Zoe—she's like a big sister to me—and she's pretty nice to me."

"We don't have a very good relationship anymore," he said, echoing in Shinya's thoughts.

"I know, I'll help—if I have to."

"We're just friends now."

"But you still look at her more than a friend."

"Yes—I mean no," he fretted.

"Big brother, if you want to forget a girl—get a new girl."

"Do you want me to have another girlfriend again?"

Shinya tried to be crafty.

"That's all right, Big brother—you'll very boring without a lover."

"Oh, okay."

"Thanks for taking care of me these past few months. You've really changed." Shinya smiled at him. "Will you ask Zoe on the dance?"

Grrr, he thought. "Maybe—Shinya."

"better find three red roses and make a love letter if you wanna ask Zoe on the dance."

okay pipz! let's have a trivia:

"Why it that children doesn't want to sleep during the afternoon? Do they know if they learn to love is they won't have any sleep even though they want to?

that's all readers! oh! and don't forget to read/review...i'd really appreciate it!