OK, you wonderful readers, here is yet another chapter. This marks the one-third mark just about. Maybe halfway. I'm obviously not sue yet. Cuz after Allan and Ellen get married that event happens and then everthing changes. Oops, i'm giving stuff away... sorry. Thanks to: supersport (you're awesome), shilohfan, MTU Birdgirl, Jessie D, and elizabeth marrain. I'm sorry if I forgot to mention you... I can't get to my reviews page for some reason. Meh. (hehe, I've been around K.S. too much) Read, review, enjoy!!!
Marian stopped on the edge of the forest, looking nervously into the open space. She knew her feminine features were more prominent than when she was fourteen, so she had borrowed Robin's hooded cloak. She still didn't understand why he'd taken it off, since it had been so cold last night. She made sure the hood was as low over her face as possible before she left the protective shadow of the forest. It wasn't a long walk back from Sherwood to Fitzwater Manor, she, of all people would know that.
Marian sneaked around, past the kitchens. As she passed she heard the cook's five year-old-daughter, Anna, say to her mother, "Mama, why did Lady Marian leave us?"
"Because she has a wild spirit and no sense, that's why." If only it were that simple! How she wished it was. "She'd have done well to stay here and get married, like her father wanted. But maybe it's better that's she's gone."
"Why?" the innocent voice asked.
"It means that the rest of us won't have to try and restrain her. No more questions. You have work to do. Could you fetch..."
Marian didn't eavesdrop further; she also had work to do. She eased open the stable door and was greeted by the calico and gray cats that had made their home with the horses. As for the horses themselves, there weren't more than two beasts left, and the only reason they were still there was for what was going to be part her dowry, but that was no more. She wondered if she should even bother with saddles. She didn't, she just took bridles and reigns. All other tack she left behind. She hadn't ever been skilled at bareback riding, but she didn't want to burden the horses with any more weight than necessary if they ever needed to move faster than usual.
She led the two creatures out into the yard, hoping they wouldn't make too much noise and give her away. Thankfully, they didn't, but as she went past the chicken coop, Anna came out with a basket of eggs. The girl dropped her basket and backed away, fear etching her face. "Mama," she whispered. "Help."
Holding the horses with one hand Marian pulled the hood away from her face, praying the chance she was taking wasn't going to go against her. "Oh, it's you!" Anna cried.
"Yes, it is, but please don't tell your mother until I'm gone. I don't want to get caught, all right?"
"I won't tell." She giggled at the prospect of keeping a secret from her mother. Marian lowered her hood again, and kept moving, smiling at Anna as she passed.
She didn't feel safe again until she was back in the depths of the forest. She hadn't gotten very far when she heard something; it was no more than a faint rustling. So much for feeling safe. "I hear you! Come out and show yourself before I come in after you! If you mean no harm than neither do I. If it's the other way around, then you're in trouble." She had only her dagger, and she drew it. She was sure that she looked pathetic, with just one little dagger. She surely felt like an idiot, so it must look that way.
"I wouldn't hurt a woman, even if she is highly confused." She must've given herself away by using her voice. A teenage boy emerged from the shadows; he looked naive and a little wary of the 'confused' woman who stood before him. He had longish dark blond hair and his eyes were a cross between hazel and gray. He definitely looked Saxon. "Give me one good reason why I should trust you," the boy demanded.
"First I want to know your name and business in Sherwood." Marian wasn't going to take chances with this boy, no matter how innocent he looked.
"Much, the miller's son, and I've been running and hiding all morning because I whacked a Norman after he tried to take flour without paying for it. And you can go ahead and kill me for the reward because I don't have anywhere to go anyway."
"Yes, you do," Marian contradicted him. "Come with me, I'm in the same position as you right now, only I've got somewhere to go. Make your choice." She continued on, leaving him to stay where he was or follow. Her hood was starting to make her hot, so she took it off, letting it fall behind her.
"Hey, wait up! I'm coming!" Marian could hear him running, trying to catch up with her. When he did she threw him the reigns of one of the mares, so she wouldn't have to lead both. He didn't complain. "Come to think of it you don't look one bit Saxon. Why should I follow you, Norman? How do I know you're not leading me to my death?"
"I'm not Norman or Saxon. I'm both. And I'm not leading you to death, just a camp. I'm sure Robin won't mind." Marian hoped he wouldn't mind, anyway.
"Hold on a second, I know who you are! You're that half-breed woman who followed her lover into outlawry yesterday." She tried to correct him, but he wouldn't let her. "And your lover was outlawed because he killed an earl! And your name is Mary. See? I know it all."
"First of all, we're not lovers." That was a lie more or less. "Second, Robin didn't kill an earl; he killed the sheriff's cousin. Third, Robin is the Earl of Huntington's youngest son, that's where the earl thing came from. My name is Marian, not Mary. Oh, and don't call me a half-breed again, or you'll learn the hard way."
"They were just rumors; I don't even remember where I heard them. But I do know that Robin is dangerous. I think we should be careful."
"Listen, Robin isn't dangerous," Marian said defensively. "Just overly stupid when it comes to trying to be brave, all men are like that."
"Hey!" Much tried to defend himself.
"I'm not the one who socked a Norman! Anyway, I've known him since I was eight, he wouldn't hurt me or you, and he's only dangerous when he has to be. I've never even seen him like that, so you don't have to worry. Besides, he's depressed and heartbroken right now anyway." She hadn't meant to say that, she had been speaking her thoughts.
"Why is he heartbroken?" Much inquired.
Marian had to think what she was going to say in response. "He's an outlaw, so he can't be with his real lover." It was as close to the truth as she dared to go. She just hoped Robin wouldn't mention what had really happened. The rest of the trip was quiet and seemed solemn, since Much had finally shut up. It was late afternoon when they neared the clearing. "Don't shoot me this time Robin!" Marian called.
"I thought he wasn't dangerous," Much muttered. Marian ignored him.
When they entered into the camp, it was empty. "Robin?" There was no answer. "Guess he's searching for me," she told Much. "Could you tether the horses? I'm going to go look for him. If you have to hide climb the tree or hide in the hollow. Climbing the tree would be better. Only use the hollow if you don't have time."
"Why can't I come with you?"
"I know where he'd go and you don't. Stay here." Marian left in search of someone who might be searching for her. The irony seemed hysterical to her. She was heading toward the overlook spot that they had discovered years ago. It had been one of their favorite spots; you could see for quite a ways once you were there. You couldn't see into the clearing though, the Oak's spread of branches blocked off sight of the ground. After a while the track started going steeply uphill, making it hard to keep going. As she neared the overlook, Marian glimpsed him. A desperate longing shot through her, but she brushed it away. She loved and hated feeling that way. After one more curve she would be there. Robin wasn't going to be happy with her, that much she knew.
"I'm back," Marian said after she went around the last bend where she stopped to give him some space.
"Where were you?" he asked without turning around. His voice sounded calm, like it did when he was anything but.
"Stealing horses. I figured that if I was going to be an outlaw I was going to at least act like one. Don't worry about to whom the beasts belonged either, they were mine. I hope you don't mind but I borrowed your cloak." Marian fingered the material as she said this, fidgeting.
Robin turned around to face her. "This isn't a game, Marian, don't treat it like one. Next time you go on an adventure, at least tell me. I spent the entire morning looking for you, ended up here and haven't moved since."
"Were you so worried about me that you forgot to arm yourself before you started searching?" She gestured. She had noticed during the short lecture he gave her. She didn't mind that he had given her one, since it proved that he wasn't so far into his depression. She wished he'd just snap out of it, and return back to his normal self. Marian wasn't even sure what that was anymore. "It's not wise."
"Of course it's not," he snapped. "But neither were some of the things you did."
"I never said that breaking off our betrothal was wise. It's just what was right." Then she realized that hadn't been what he had meant. She started back down the hillside. "What's right and what's wise are two different things," she called over her shoulder.
"What's that supposed to mean? That I'm not aloud to love you? Because I do. Nothing you say can change that. And I have to say it. I love you. For longest time I have, since I was thirteen and a half. I remember it quite well. Why—"
"Can't you drop it?" Marian asked, her voice rising, as she whirled to face him.
"Don't you get it? I can't stop loving you! I wish I could, because it would make my life a whole lot easier!" It had morphed into a heated argument, both of them yelling at the other.
"Your life? What about mine? I followed you here hoping that you'd understand! I was wrong, wasn't I?" Didn't he comprehend anything?
"I do understand! You've made it all very clear! You can't love me because you can't let go of our old friendship, isn't that the way it is?" He had it right on. "The problem is, Marian, you don't understand me! The way I feel about you has grown as big as our oak, and you can't uproot it however hard you try! You can hack away at it with an ax, and you can't cut it down! Burning it won't work because there are half a dozen acorns that will replant themselves and grow again. If you won't look at it, fine! Don't! But you've got to understand that it will always be there!"
"I'm not ready to love someone! I want to be my own person, without any ties to people. I don't want to have to worry constantly about things like that, to have that emotional pull for the rest of my life." Marian started walking again, tired of arguing and trying to make sense of her feelings.
"Marian, you don't want that. A life without love is like being in a pitch-black room without even a speck of light. Soon enough you don't want to live anymore. Believe me, I know how that is." It wasn't until they were a few minutes away from he camp that Robin said, "You know, I'd give my life up for yours any day." His tone was completely serious, with no hint of indecision.
Marian looked at him, her face full of shock and astonishment. "Don't say things like that, Robin. Please. I don't want to hear them."
"I knew it!" she heard Much suddenly announce. Marian looked up at the sky hoping a lightning bolt would come down and strike Much right then. Or maybe her. Robin whirled around at the unfamiliar voice. There was Much marching triumphantly toward them from the way they had just come. He had followed her, and now knew everything. "You two are lovers."
"Who is that? And what is he doing here?"
"Robin, he's going to be staying with us. His name is Much, and he punched a Norman earlier today. I brought him. Although I wish I hadn't now."
"He's just a kid!" Robin protested.
"I'm seventeen actually," Much said.
Marian glared at Much. "Act it," she snapped. "And don't follow me around! When I told you to stay, there was a good reason, wasn't there?" She sincerely wished that she hadn't brought Much back with her. He was just making her life more complicated and difficult than it already was.
Much started to grin insanely. "You remind me too much of my nephew," Robin commented, and walked away. This left Marian scowling at Much with bloody murder in her eyes.
"Don't you ever do that again! There are some lines you don't cross over, privacy being one of them." She didn't say anything past that, she was too angry for words.
Leaving Much standing there, she did something that she'd wanted to do for years; climb her tree. She needed to feel the wind on her face, have the feeling that she was going somewhere. It came back to her almost naturally. She knew where to reach, what branches weren't strong enough by instinct. She didn't know where Robin had gone and didn't bother looking, she wouldn't blame him if he had left and refused to come back. By this time she was two-thirds of the way up. Far enough. She didn't move until the sun began to set, which meant she'd been there for about two hours. She would have been there longer if she hadn't been interrupted.
"I'm hungry," had been Much's announcement.
"What am I supposed to do about it?" Marian snapped, still angry.
"I don't know, I just thought I should throw that out there. It doesn't seem as if you ever intend to eat yourself, or let me know where the food is." His grumbling wasn't going to get him anywhere if that what he was thinking. A few moments passed. "I'm bored. What am I supposed to do? Maybe I should—"
"Shut up, be quiet and stop complaining," she finished for him.
"What if I don't feel like it?" he muttered, not really meaning for her to hear.
"Then I'll turn you in. I wouldn't hesitate, not after all the trouble you've caused me."
"I don't believe you. You wouldn't be able to." Much was right of course; to turn him in she'd have to go to the sheriff. Geoffrey knew her too well not to recognize her face, and she was an outlaw too. It wouldn't be a good situation.
"If it helps any, I don't believe her either." Robin was back. "Oh, and just a forewarning; don't get on Marian's nerves too much. She's quite skilled at getting revenge."
Marian smiled to herself, although she knew that she wasn't near as professional as she was before.
"You mean like depriving me of food?"
Marian didn't look down; she had no intentions of being pulled into another conversation. She was pretending that she couldn't hear them.
"There's food inside the tree," Robin told him
"Inside?"
"Yes, have you been so unobservant that you didn't notice that the tree is hollow at the base? You'll never survive as an outlaw like that." Such easy conversation. She hadn't had one like that in five years. Now, every conversation ended with someone getting upset and angry. There were no conversations, only arguments. What had happened to that simple friendship? Everything had been so easy then. When would that return?
"If you try to hide again, don't do it where everyone is going to look first." Robin had joined her. It was the last and, at the same time, foremost thing she'd wanted.
She sighed. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you earlier. And you're right that I should have told you that I was leaving."
"I'm sorry as well. It's not your fault that you feel that way."
"And it's not your fault either." She glanced at him for a moment. "Let's leave it at that."
Ohh... LOVER' SPAT!!! That was fun to write. Sad too, though.... :( It's all resolved now, tankfully. maybe things won't be so awkward now. Was Robin too poetic, you think? I'm actually not sure. Let me know, my lovely reviewers!!! ROBIN AND MARIAN FOREVER!!!