Woo another chapter, I've realised that there is about 90-ish days until December 1st which means I don't really have long to finish my fics but here goes :) Next Chapter:
The team sat on the Hub's sofa's drinking coffee Ianto had made.
"Hey Tosh!" They all called as she walked in.
"Hey." She replied.
"Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?" Jack asked excitedly.
"Um. Not so good. He walked me to the bay and then said, 'we should do this again'."
"Ohh. Ouch!" The others all said.
"What? He said we should this again, that's good right?" Ianto asked confused.
"Uh, no. Loosely translated 'we should do this again' means 'you will never see me naked'" Gwen explained to him as the others nodded.
"Since when!" Ianto asked shocked, it'd been a while since he'd dated.
"Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know like 'it's not you, it's me' means 'it is you'." John explained.
"Or 'your such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining to them about you'." Owen smiled.
"Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha ha I already am'." Tosh added.
"And everybody knows this?" Ianto asked.
John nodded. "Yeah. Cushions the blow." He said.
"Yeah, it's like when your a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep and they tell you it went to live on some farm."
"That's funny, that, no, because uh, our parents actually did send our dog off to live on a farm." Jack told them all.
"Uh Jack." Gwen said gently.
Jack looked horrified. "What? Wh-hello! The Millners farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horse and rabbits that he could chase and it was – it was – oh my God, Gray!" Jack realised that his dog had actually died and looks genuinely upset. Ianto patted him on the arm and he seemed to cheer up considerably.
TW
John and Owen are in their apartment. Owen is helping John learn his lines from the script John's been given.
"So how does it feel knowing your about to die?" Owen read from the script.
"Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die." John read back completely in character.
"Hey, that was really good!" Owen exclaimed.
"Thanks! Let's keep going." John said looking back at the script.
"Okay. So whaddya want from me Damone, huh?" Owen read again.
"I wanna go back to my cell, cause in my cell I can smoke."
"Smoke away." Owen said.
John took out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. As he went to light the cigarette he dropped the lighter. He picked it up and lit the fag. He took a drag from it and coughed violently.
"I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone." Owen told him.
"What?" John asked.
"Relax your hand!" Owen cried.
John let his wrist go limp.
"Woahh! Not so much!" Owen exclaimed. "Alright now try taking a puff."
John took a puff and visibly winced.
"Alright...okay. Give it to me." Owen demanded.
"No, no, no, no! I'm not giving you a cigarette!"John told him.
"It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part or not?" Owen asked.
John looked at the cigarette and reluctantly handed it to Owen.
"Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete." Owen told him looking at the cigarette.
"Y'miss it?" John asked sarcastically.
"Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke." Owen took a long drag on the cigarette. "Oh...my...God..." He sighed in happiness as he continued to smoke.
TW
John, Owen, Gwen and Jack were sitting on the sofa's again chatting.
Ianto walked in with a tray of drinks. "Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! Decaf cappucino for John, Coffee black for Jack, Late.. for Owen and an iced tea for Gwen. I'm getting pretty good at this!" Ianto said handing the drinks round.
"Yeah, excellent!" They all agreed.
As Ianto walked away the team all swapped their drinks round. Tosh walked in muttering she sat down without saying hello.
"You okay Tosh?" John asked concerned.
"It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up my monthly, you know, STATEMENT-" Tosh said angrily and slightly crazily.
"Easy." Jack warned.
"And there's five hundred extra dollars in my account!" Tosh finished.
"Oh, Satan's minions at work again..." Owen replied sarcastically.
"Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them." Tosh said again, rather crazily.
"What are you talking about? Keep it!" John told her looking like she was nut's to even think about getting rid of it.
"It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing." She told them.
Ianto had come back into the room. "Yeah, but it's money!" He said.
"Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'..." Tosh said unhappily.
"We're with you. We got it." Gwen said gently.
Owen started to lean over the sofa, out of sight of the team.
"Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt." Tosh explained.
"Owen, what are you doing?" Ianto demanded.
"Hey. Whaddya doing?" Gwen asked pulling him up.
Owen sits up with his mouth looking weird. He tries to hold it in but eventually let's out a puff of smoke.
"Oh! Oh, God!" The team all cried.
"What is this?" Jack demanded.
"I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking." Owen told them all, sighing.
"Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!" Tosh cried clearly disappointed in him.
"And this- is my reward!" Owen told them trying to make a joke of it.
The wern't having any of it. "Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit." Jack said.
"Okay, so this time I won't quit!" Owen said triumphantly.
"Ohhh! Put it out!" Everyone cried together again.
"All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out." Owen dropped the end into Tosh's coffee.
"Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!" Tosh cried.
"Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date." Gwen said grinning.
"This Andy again? How's it goin'?" Ianto asked.
"S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun." Gwen smiled shyly.
"So when do we get to meet the guy?" John asked.
"Let's see, today's Monday... Never." Gwen laughed.
"Oh, come on! Come on!" They all laughed and hit her with newspapers and magazines.
"No. Not after what happened with Steve." Gwen said sternly.
"What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!" Owen saw the look on Gwen's face. "Sorry."
"Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out." Gwen pleaded with the group.
"Well, then can we meet him?" Ianto asked.
"Nope. Schhorry." Gwen walked out laughing leaving her friends behind.
TW
Gwen was at work with her friend Ruth. They were sitting in the police stations cafeteria drinking coffee and talking about Steve.
"I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd." Gwen was saying.
"Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you." Ruth told her.
"I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked." Gwen sighed.
"Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy.." Gwen knew she was hinting at letting her friends meet him but she wasn't sure.
TW
The team were gathered in Gwen and Ianto's apartment. Owen is outside on the balcony smoking and Tosh is out.
"Let it go, Jack." John was saying to Jack.
"Yeah, well, you didn't know Gray." Jack told him still upset about his dog dying.
"Do you all promise?" Gwen asked sternly to her friends.
"Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!" They all cried.
"Owen? Do you promise to be good?" Gwen called out to the balcony.
Owen made the 'cross my heart, hope to die' sign across his chest. Suddenly a massive downpour of rain fell down. He tapped on the window for the guys to let him in.
"You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!" John told him sharply.
Owen sulkily picked up the lid of a dustbin and sheltered underneath it.
Tosh suddenly stormed in and sat on the sofa holding a piece of paper.
"Hey, Tosh." Jack said gently.
"'Dear Ms. Sato. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this-" Tosh rummaged in her bag. " -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this? Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!" She cried indignantly.
"What bank is this?" Ianto asked.
The door buzzer suddenly sounded. Gwen walked over to answer it.
"Who is it?" She asked.
"It's Andy." A male voice replied.
"Owen! He's here!" John called to outside.
Owen came in through the hatch at the side. He was dripping wet from the rain.
"Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me." Gwen pleaded with the group.
The door opened and Andy walked in.
"Hi. Andy, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Andy." Gwen introduced.
"Hi." Andy said pleasantly.
"Hi, Andy." They all said.
"I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!" Andy joked, obviously Gwen had told him about Steve.
The team all started laughing.
TW
"Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow." Gwen told Andy as she saw him out. "Okay. Okay, let's let the Andy-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?" She asked the group.
It is silence for a few moments.
MONICA: C'mon!
"...I'll go." Jack said. "Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him." Jack told her gleefully.
"Loved him! Yeah! He's great!" They all chipped in.
"Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?" Gwen asked her mouth hanging open.
"Yeah!" They replied.
"Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked." John said with a smile.
"Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!" Tosh said pointing excitedly at John.
The team went silent again. "...What shoe?" Jack asked.
"From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'" Tosh explained.
Still no one replied.
"...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured." Jack told Gwen.
"What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it." Ianto said excitedly.
"Really!" Gwen asked.
"Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right?" Owen laughed doing the impression himself.
"You know what I like most about him, though?" Jack said.
"What?" They asked.
"The way he makes me feel about myself." He finished smiling.
"Yeah..." The team all went off into a daydream.
TW
Gwen was sitting on the sofa's alone when suddenly Jack, Ianto, Owen and John walked in in rugby gear.
"Hi.. how was the game?" Gwen asked cheerfully.
"Well.." Jack pretended to be sad.
"WE WON! Thank you! Yes!" They all cried gleefully.
"Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?" Gwen joked.
"Andy." John said simply.
"He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Andy, second base-Andy, third base-..." Jack told her.
"I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team." Ianto added in smiling.
"Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about rugby." Owen laughed hi-fiving his team.
"Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Andy is maybe.. sometimes.." Gwen let the question hang.
"What?" Jack asked.
"..I dunno, a little too Andy?" She asked.
"Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Andy." Ianto told her his smile fading.
"Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Andy-ness that-that-that we adore." Jack's smile was also fading.
"I personally could have a gallon of Andy." Owen added too.
TW
There is a homeless women on the street trying to sell her stuff when Tosh walks up to her.
"Hey, Lizzie." She said brightly.
"Hey, Weird Girl." Lizzie replied.
"I brought you alphabet soup." Tosh said handing it to her.
"Did you pick out the vowels?" Lizzie asked suspiciously examining the tin.
"Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you." Tosh told her rummaging in her bag again.
"Saltines?" Lizzie asked hopefully.
"No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?" Tosh asked simply.
"What?" Lizzie opened the envelope Tosh had just given to her. "Oh my God, there's really money in here!" She exclaimed.
"I know."
"Weird Girl, what are you doing?" Lizzie asked handing her the envelope back.
"No, I want you to have it. I don't want it." Tosh told her pushing it back into her hands.
"No, no, I ha-I have to give you something." Lizzie said searching her cart.
"Oh, that's fine, no." Tosh told her backing off.
"Would you like my tin-foil hat?"
"No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks." Tosh said.
"Please, let me do something." Lizzie begged.
"Okay, alright, you buy me a coke, and then we're even. Okay?"
"Okay."
Tosh and Lizzie walked to the coke stand.
"Keep the change." Lizzie said to the man behind the counter. She was enjoying the feeling of being able to buy things. "Sure you don't wanna pretzel?" She asked Tosh.
"No, I'm fine." Tosh assured her.
"See ya." Lizzie said walking back to her cart.
Tosh opened her coke can and looked inside.
"Huh!" She exclaimed.
TW
The team were back on the sofa's. Tosh was telling them what she had found in her coke can.
"A thumb?" Jack asked astounded.
Tosh nodded disgusted.
"Eww!" They all cried.
"I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!" Tosh told them making them flinch.
"Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five?" Owen said jokingly.
"Does, um, anyone wanna see?" Tosh asked holding out the can.
"Nooo!" They all cried again.
Owen lit one of his cigarettes.
"Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!" Everyone shouted at him.
"It's worse than the thumb!" Ianto declared.
"Hey, this is so unfair!" Owen said pouting.
"Oh, why is it unfair?" Gwen asked.
"So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like John's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Jack, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Gwen, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?" Owen asked.
The silence was uncomfortable.
"...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?" John asked quietly.
"Well, I-I could live without it." Ianto told him gently.
"Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Tosh chews her hair?" He asked.
Tosh, who was chewing her hair, spat it out quickly.
"Oh, now, don't listen to him, Tosh, I think it's endearing." Jack told her.
"Oh, "you do, do you"?" John said imitating Jack.
Gwen started laughing and stopped abruptly when she snorted.
"You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly." Jack said with a humph.
""Indeed there isn't"" Ianto said imitating Jack as well. He saw Jack's face. " ... I should really get back to work." He said quickly.
"Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered." Tosh said sharply.
Ianto spun round. "Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on." He said angrily. The whole team begin arguing as Owen takes a long happy drag from his cigarette, smiling with triumph.
TW
Gwen is at work with Ruth again. They are sitting in the cafeteria.
"Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?" Gwen asked suddenly.
"No." Was the simple reply.
"Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like." Gwen told her.
"Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!" Ruth said laughing.
"Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing." Gwen explained awkwardly.
"Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Gwen, dump him!" Ruth told her.
"I know.. it's gonna be really hard." Gwen sighed.
"Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it."
"No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about." She said sighing again.
TW
John, Owen and Jack are at the sofa's. John and Jack are talking to Owen about his smoking.
"Do you have any respect for your body?" John asked.
"Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?" Jack asked as well, they both sounded disappointed in Owen.
"Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it." Owen said.
"Owen? It's Andy, he wants to speak to you." Ianto told him holding out the phone.
"Really? He does?" Owen looked happy. He took the phone. "Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, he told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks!" Owen handed the phone back to Ianto and stubbed out his cigarette before sitting back down.
"God, he's good." Jack said to Ianto.
"Oh yeah." Ianto agreed.
"Yeah..." The two went off in a daydream about Andy.
They snapped out of it and gave each other a dubious look. Their gaze lingered on each other for a while. Jack almost leant in and kissed Ianto but got cold feet at the last minute so he just went and sat back down.
TW
The team were sat at Ianto and Gwen's apartment.
"Hey. Where's John?" Asked Gwen as she walked in.
"John ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?" Owen said sarcastically.
"I think he's across the hall." Ianto told her giving Owen a weird look.
"Thanks." Gwen went across the hall to get John.
"Hey Tosh, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?" Jack asked. There was no answer. ".. Tosh?"
Tosh snapped out of whatever daydream she was in. "Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?" She asked holding it up.
"Hey, I might!" Jack told her sounding obvious.
"Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid coke people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb." Tosh said deadpan.
"You're kidding. Oh my God." They all said.
"And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?" Tosh cried.
Gwen walked in dragging John by the arm. It looked like he was just out of the shower. "What's going on?" He demanded.
"Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together." Gwen told him.
"Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.." John muttered.
"Uh, John.." Ianto began indicating his open legs.
"Oh, God!" He cried closing his knee's hurriedly.
"Okay.." Gwen began. We have to talk."
"Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not." Tosh said.
"Alright, we have to talk." Gwen started again.
"There it is!" Tosh exclaimed.
"Okay. It's-it's about Andy. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Andy." Gwen said quickly.
The team gasped and clutched eachother. Jack couldn't help but feel Ianto's hand in his own felt so right.
"Is there somebody else?" Jack asked, upset about Andy and trying to get Ianto out of his mind.
"No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change." Gwen tried to explain.
"We didn't change.." Ianto sounded so upset Jack wanted to hug him.
"So that's it? It's over? Just like that?" John demanded.
"You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I-" Tosh couldn't finish her sentence.
"Look, I- I could go on pretending-" Gwen began.
"Okay!" John said.
"-but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Andy- It wouldn't be fair to you!" She finished.
"Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were." Jack said to her.
"I'm sorry.." Gwen started.
"Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!" Owen spat sarcastically.
"I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-" Ianto said.
'Please don't cry I will crack if you cry.' Jack begged in his mind.
"I'll meet somone else. There'll be other Andy's." Gwen tried to reassure them.
"Oh, yeah! Right!" They all cried.
"Are you guys gonna be okay?" Gwen asked.
"Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time." Jack told her sharply.
"I understand." She said doubtfully.
TW
Gwen was in a restaurant with Andy and she had just told him the bad news.
"Wow." Andy said.
"I'm, I'm really sorry." Gwen told him patting him sympathetically.
"Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved." Andy admitted.
"Relieved?" Gwen asked a little hurt.
"Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.." Gwen relaxed. "I just can't stand your friends." He admitted.
Gwen tried hard not to laugh.
TW
The team were sitting in Gwen and Ianto's apartment. They were moping around eating ice-cream.
"Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun." Ianto said sadly taking a spoon of ice-cream.
"Yeah. He could row like a viking." Jack said.
Gwen entered the room.
"Hi." She called.
"Mmm. " They mumbled in reply.
"So how'd it go?" Jack asked.
"Oh, y'know.." Gwen said.
"Did he mention us?" Tosh asked hopefully.
"He said he's really gonna miss you guys." Gwen lied.
"You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere." Jack said. Gwen came over and Jack started to massage her forehead.
"...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes." Owen declared standing up.
"No no no!" They all cried.
"I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!" Owen told them all leaving the room.
"If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!" Tosh shouted after him.
Owen came back into the room. "Yeah, alright."
So there we go :) Next chapter soon :) Review please :)