PART TWO
The hug goes on and on—Adam and Joan holding each other tightly. With tears in her eyes, Joan realizes how much she has desperately missed Adam and this type of closeness. Not just the physical touching, but the sense of belonging to someone. The hug continues and Joan wishes this moment would never end. When it ends, dealing with their problems will begin.
"I'm sorry, Adam."
"Me too. I'm so sorry, Jane."
They separate slightly, both have tears in their eyes. They share a brief, simple kiss and the hug resumes. Across the foyer, Kate Bloom chuckles…
"Think they'll stay like that all night?"
Florene raises a single finger to her lips in a 'shh' gesture, but Adam and Joan have heard the comment and realize they must move on to the next moment of this reunion. Reluctantly, they step apart, blushing slightly.
"Uh, Adam, this is my host and distant relative, Professor Florene Donnelly."
"The one that talks to flowers?"
Florene smiles and looks to Kate. "Told you so. It never goes away."
(Joan nudges Adam with her elbow.)
"Sorry. I meant, it's a pleasure to meet you, Professor Donnelly. And hey Ms Bloom, good to see you again."
"Hello Adam. Before the two of you rush off, I want to invite you to my brother David's birthday party on Wednesday night."
"I'm already invited. Dean Bloom asked a few students he calls…promising."
"From what I remember of your artwork, that's a well deserved accolade. I look forward to seeing you there."
Florene asks, "Where are you kids going tonight?"
Adam answers, "Otto's Tyrolean Café. The owner, Otto Schneider, allows bay area college students to display their artwork at his restaurant. I have one of my sculptures there, AND Otto actually hired me to do a mural based on one of my sketches. He almost never pays for art, so it's kind of a big deal for me."
Florene nods. "Then you must be really good. I hope the two of you have a wonderful time."
"Thanks Cousin Florene." Joan says as Adam helps her on with a light wrap. Even if it is July, Joan feels the need for something a bit warm over her standard little black dress. As they are about to exit, Florene whispers in Joan's ear…
"Dear, if you're not going to make it back tonight, I'd appreciate a call so I don't worry."
With a nod and a shy smile, Joan exits holding onto Adam's arm—feeling for the first time in quite awhile, happy and excited.
X X X X X
The trip to the restaurant goes quickly as they ride a city bus. Adam makes small talk about the transit system in the bay area, and how the journey from Berekley to San Francisco only takes half an hour by BART train. Joan fills Adam in on her recent scenic but stomach churning trip up the California coastline. All too soon they reach the appropriate bus stop, and the half block walk to the cafe shows Joan this is an up and coming neighborhood with many new shops and trendy restaurants.
As they enter Otto's Tyrolean Café, Joan takes a good look around. Converted from an old hardware store, the building is long and narrow with few signs of its' previous incarnation. Brass railings, candles, green plants and tables with green and white tablecloths create a quiet ambience. What sets the café apart from its' rivals is the many displays of artwork from area college students, making the place a virtual gallery. A good deal for all—lots of intrigued customers for Otto, and plenty of public exposure for the aspiring artists.
"Adam, welcome." The maitre'd says with a broad smile.
They shake hands. Adam is obviously known and popular here. "Hello Karl. Jane, this is Karl Schneider."
"Hi, Joan Girardi." Joan says with a nod.
"A pleasure to meet you young lady." (Then to Adam…) "My friend, you are a very lucky man."
Adam smiles and nods while Karl beckons to a grey-haired man who is circulating amongst the patrons. With a friendly smile the man approaches, but Joan frowns as she senses someone is scrutinizing her. Joan does a quick glance around the restaurant, but doesn't notice anyone other than a couple of men casually checking her out.
Karl says, "Uncle Otto, Adam is here with his special guest."
"Ah, Adam my boy, you spoke the truth when you said your girlfriend from Arcadia is beautiful." Otto says with a slight Austrian accent while kissing the back of Joan's hand.
Joan smiles, finding the gesture a little silly but also a little charming. "Why thank you, sir. I'm Joan Girardi, and I think you have a beautiful restaurant."
Otto swells with pride as looks over his domain. "Thank you. This is the culmination of the dream I had when I first came to this country thirty years ago. Karl, make sure they get the reserved table, and everything is on the house."
"Thanks Otto." Adam says as they shake hands, but Joan can sense a tension between the two that they are trying to hide.
Karl grabs a couple of menus and begins to lead them away from the entrance. As they walk along, Joan again senses that scrutiny she felt earlier, but now it is more intense. Joan is so focused on finding her observer, she is a little startled when Adam takes her arm, but that contact informs her that whoever is watching her is also interested in Adam.
"First, we must go by Adam's sculpture. It is proving to be an object of great interest to our customers." Karl says as he leads the way.
As they approach the sculpture, Joan finds the group that is giving them a visual disection. At one of the corner tables, there are four attractive women who are trying not to be obvious as they carefully examine every inch of her and Adam. Joan begins to feel annoyed by such close scrutiny with no apparent reason. Of course if she weren't able to read people, she really wouldn't be aware of the interest.
"Here it is, Jane." Adam says as he waits expectantly for Joan's response.
Joan gives the sculpture a quick look, and is impressed. It is much in the style of Adam's earlier work with recycled items, but the lines of the piece draw in the viewer and capture the imagination. Joan wishes she wasn't so distracted by those rude women so she could enjoy the piece more.
"Oh Adam, it's beautiful. You've definitely grown as an artist since coming to Berkeley." Joan replies while pretending to continue to look at the sculpture. Instead, she has decided to give these women a taste of their own medicine.
Joan closes off all stimuli from the rest of the room and focuses all of her ability on these four women. The experience is intense, almost overwhelming, but Joan quickly gets a sense of who these women are. As a group they are intelliegent, devoted to each other and oddly, share a strong sense of justice. The first woman who comes through clearly to Joan is the closest, an African-American woman who is by a few years the oldest of the group. Joan barely notices the mom vibe, and the inclinations toward medicine and science. From this woman Joan recieves such a wave of empathy, she actually flashes on a mental image - something very rare for her. At the center of this woman's life is a man in a wheelchair, undoubtedly her husband. The emotions that accompany this along with her own experiences with Kevin are too much, and Joan blocks anything more from this source.
In the next woman, Joan finds a sense of familiarity. This is strange as outwardly she is a beautiful platinum blonde who wears her hair boyishly short, and dresses at the height of fashion. No, the familiarity is in interests - she's a lawyer,and just as Joan hopes to be - some sort of prosecutor. There the similarity ends, for this woman has a lot of daddy issues, abandonment issues, and overwhelmingly, trust issues. (Well, okay, there they might share a similarity). This is a woman who likes men, but fears to make commitments because she is certain she will be hurt.
Joan moves on to the third woman, and if this group of friends can be said to have a leader, it is her. Joan immediately reads 'cop' from this strikingly beautiful woman with the long, lovely black hair. She gives off a certain mannish vibe, but this is by choice, not inclination. In her male dominated world, femininity would be seen as weakness, and this beauty has a need to be very strong. She is a very sensual being, but is currently experiencing a moderately high level of sexual frustration. ('So, I'm not the only one who's not getting any.') Part of the reason is the woman is recovering from a broken heart. A vastly important relationship has failed, probably a marriage, and she has not fully recovered from that. And there is the spiritual cocoon within her. It is a source of pain so deep, so soul shattering, the woman simply refuses to deal with it. So, she has placed layer after layer of denial around her pain, probably by burying herself in her work. Joan feels she has violated this woman's privacy to such an extent, she is ashamed.
Before she can turn it off, the last woman's inner being becomes clear to Joan. At least she is a little easier to deal with. The youngest of the group, probably no more than a couple of years out of college, she is focused on getting her life on track. These slightly older women are important to her not just as friends, but as role models, especially the beautiful cop. The petite red-head looks to the cop not only as a mentor, but also as a potential source of...? Here there is a lot of confusion. The red-head has a crush on the lady cop, and this is utterly new in her life experience. She hasn't a clue how to proceed, or even if she should, or even if she really wants to. Poor, confused girl - walking a tightrope over a sea of possiblities...
Joan feels a tug on her arm and snaps back to normal - or at least as normal as she can be these days. Adam guides her, and she realizes they have reached their booth in the opposite corner. Above the booth is Adam's mural. It is a French cafe scene with an artist sketching a beautiful girl. The artist is Adam, and the girl is her. Joan stares dumbfounded at such an amazing scene. She feels...immortalized. She also feels an intense renewal of her desire for Adam. Beyond Adam's good looks and pleasant nature, one of his biggest attractions has always been his skill as an artist. Back in high school, the first time Joan considered moving Adam from the category of weird pal to potential boyfriend was after she realized how talented he is. She has always found that talent a definite turn on, and never more so than now.
As Karl leaves them the menus, bows and withdraws, Joan takes Adam's hand and smiles at him in a warm and inviting manner.
"Adam...this is so amazing. I love your mural. You made it of me, even though we've been fighting for months?"
"I wasn't sure how things would go with us Jane, but I knew that I never wanted to forget how much you mean to me. It had to be you in this work. No one else could ever take your place in my heart."
Joan sniffles slightly, and feels so silly for being weepy, especially when she wants to impart how hot this makes her. But this thought makes her feel a little guilty. Wow, she really does have a lot of issues. To cover her mixed feelings, Joan remarks...
"I should have sent you an updated photo so you could have included my new look. Uh, you didn't say if you liked it."
Adam smiles, recognizing a classic pitfall. "I think you were beautiful with long hair and gold streaks, and I think you're beautiful with shorter hair and no streaks."
"Yeah, I figured that old look was soo high school. You, by the way, look great."
"I...haven't changed."
"Which is why you look great." Joan says as she notices Otto being waved over by the group of four women. What is with this bunch of buttinskis? The beautiful cop briefly flashes her badge, and Otto, with a slightly guilty look, begins answering questions from the women.
Joan continues, "Uh, a work like this must have earned you a bundle."
"Not really. I'm still trying to make a name for myself, and having a permanent display here for my work will gain me a lot of attention. Dean Bloom recommended I take the job even though Otto was only willing to pay five hundred."
"The dean is giving you personal career advice?"
"Yeah, he's been really great with me, and has been like a personal mentor. If I have any level of success as an artist, David Bloom will get a lot of the credit. Without him, I wouldn't even be at Berkeley..." Adam says with a touch of guilt.
"Adam, we've argued that out too many times. Let's not go over that old ground again."
Adam squeezes her hand, and Joan senses there are a lot of unresolved issues for him too. "Jane, God knows I don't want to, but if we're going to have any chance of making it as a couple, we have to settle this."
For just a moment, one part of Joan suggests being a couple isn't important. Put it to him bluntly. This visit is a bootie call. Joan sighs, knowing she can never reduce this important moment in her life to somehting so crass. Way to go Mom, you really turned me into a 'good girl'.
"Alright Adam, let's get it over with. I know you had the opportunity of a life time handed to you on a silver platter. I know you had to take it, and time was a critical factor. That doesn't change the fact you left town without saying a word to me. I had to learn my boyfriend was all the way across the country the next day from your father. That was humiliating, and yes, I know some of my anger was due to being so embarrassed."
"I did leave a message in your voice mail."
"Yeah, four words: 'We need to talk'. I figure you were on your way to the airport by the time you sent that. I guess thinking of me at the last possible second is better than nothing. Too bad I was so busy...with something else. I didn't check my messages until the next morning." Joan says, remembering an assignment from God was what had kept her so occupied.
"Jane, I really am sorry about how I handled that day - well, actually just a few hours. It was a time of rushed madness, and so I guess it must seem I wasn't thinking of you, but even if my mind was briefly distracted, you were always at the center of my heart. Now...from my perspective, although I was willing to accept a lot of blame and anger from you, because I deserved it, it really hurt me that you couldn't seem to let it go."
Joan blushes and hangs her head low. She really didn't want to be doing this. "My fault. My problem. What happened just stirred up a lot of bad memories and...trust issues."
Adam sighs. "Bonnie again. Are we ever going to get beyond that one mistake?"
Joan looks at Adam, she has tears in her eyes. Adam gulps and feels miserable. The last thing he wanted to do was to make her cry.
"Jane..."
"No Adam, don't apologize. Not again. We've both been wrong about a lot of things, but this is my hang up...well, one of many. I love you Adam. No matter what else goes on between us, past or future, that will never change."
Adam smiles and brushes a single tear from Joan's cheek. "I will love you Jane, forever..."
They lean in and share a long kiss. When they part, Adam smiles again and so does Joan, but she asks...
"How many women did you sleep with?"
Adam blushes and looks away. Joan feels like her heart is in her throat. This might be a big mistake, but she has to know...
"Adam, I know I was the one who said we should date other people. I'm sure a guy as sexy as you had lots...and lots of opportunities. I don't really have a right to ask, but I'm asking anyway. I can't promise I won't be mad or upset, but please tell me."
Adam sighs heavily. Joan can feel him struggling with his answer, but also knows he is going to say the truth...
"Two."
"Two...?" Joan repeats, feelingly oddly relieved. Joan exhales, realizing she has been holding her breath. That is so much better than what she was thinking. Only two? She should be angry or upset, but considering she virtually gave him permission to cheat...
"Were you in love with them?"
"No. it was just sex. Sort of casual, and neither relationship lasted long. Jane..."
"Adam, it's okay."
"It is?'
Joan nods, and Adam blurts out... "What about you?"
"There was some dating, but no mating."
"None? Then, you're still...?"
Joan gives a short, bitter laugh. "Yeah, 'still'."
Joan feels a sense of relief sweep over Adam. So, he really does care whether or not he's...first. For one brief second, an old Abbot & Costello routine pops into Joan's head: 'Who's on first?' This time the answer will be, Adam Rove.
"Excuse me...?" a female voice says.
Joan looks up and recognizes the cute red-head from the group of women. They have all left the restaurant, but this one seems persistent.
"Hi, I'm Cindy Thomas, a reporter with the San Francisco Register. I understand you're the artist who created this wonderful mural? Well, of course you are since both of you are the subjects of the work. May I join you for just a moment? I'd love a chance to talk about your work."
Joan shoots daggers of annoyance at the woman, but Adam smiles and waves her into an empty chair.
"Yes, I'm Adam Rove, and I recently finished this work. It's based on a sketch I did back when I was in high school. The owner of this restaurant liked it so much, and thought it fit the decor so easily, he agreed to have me paint it."
"It's wonderful that an aspiring artist such as yourself can get such a lucky break. You know, I might be able to get my editor to do a public interest feature for the arts section. Wouldn't that be exciting. And you Miss...sorry, I didn't get your name."
Joan senses a lot of deceit in this woman's approach of them. "I didn't give it, and if you're some reporter for the style section of your paper, then you should be focused on the artist."
Adam says, "But she's not that type of reporter. Cindy Thomas is the name of the crime reporter for the Register. What are you up to?"
The woman 'Cindy' blushes at having been caught in a lie. "You know my name? I've only been the Register's crime reporter for a few weeks."
Adam replies, "I have an eidectic memory. I recall everything I read."
Cindy chuckles slightly. "Wow, what are the odds? I have the same gift, but this is the first time it has been used against me. Okay, full confession time. My friends and I were playing a little game of speculation about the two of you. I'm sorry, I know that is kinda rude, but we meant no harm. You see one of my friends is..."
"A cop." Joan says.
"Yes, how did you know?"
"I saw her flash her badge at Otto when you pumped him for information. You know, using police powers for personal games is a violation of regulations."
A look of panic crosses Cindy's face. "Oh please, we meant no harm. Lindsay..."
The young woman comes to a halt, realizing she has just revealed her friend's name.
"Relax, I'm the daughter of a cop, and I don't go about casually reporting minor infractions. So, this Lindsay thinks she's good at sizing people up, and you three were challenging her to do a sort of Sherlock Holmes test on Adam and me?"
"How...how did you know that? Did you hear us?"
"No, but you were lot more obvious than you seem to realize when you were doing your bug-under-a-microscope routine."
Adam adds, "Jane is pretty good at sizing people up herself. So, there's no chance this is leading to an interview about my art?"
Cindy shrugs. "Sorry. I promise I will mention you to our arts editor, but after that...?"
"In that case, I need to speak to Otto about something. If you ladies will excuse me?" Adam says as he rises and heads for Otto. Joan senses there is something confrontational going on between those two, but decides not to intrude.
Cindy says, "Your friend really is a gifted artist. I wish I could offer him an interview, but I'm new at my job and still trying to impress my boss with my crime reporting. By the way, I notice Adam calls you Jane, but Otto was pretty sure your name is Joan, and you're from Arcadia Maryland?"
"Still trying to dig into my privacy? You must want to impress your friends a lot to continue with this."
Cindy smiles. "Adam was right, you are good at sizing people up. I guess I am a little ambitious to gain some respect from my friends, as I'm rather new to the club...I mean, group."
Joan can tell Cindy is nervous about her little slip, but she isn't going to press the matter. She really should just dismiss this distraction and get back to her evening, but after probing the souls of these women so intensely, she feels a connection and a responsibility.
"It is quite an impressive group of women. For instance, your cop friend is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen - which is not to say all of you aren't lovely - but no men?"
Cindy shrugs. "It was a lady's night out. Claire is married, and Jill has a boyfriend, but neither Lindsay or I are currently dating anyone."
Joan smiles sympathetically. "Hit a dry spell?"
"I just don't seem to have time for dating any more."
"And...you're keeping yourself open in case an opportunity arises with Lindsay?"
"What? That's absurd. I don't think of Lindsay that way... Is it really that obvious?"
"You do a fair job of keeping it hid, but like I said, I'm good at sizing people up. Your cop friend probably thinks you're just hero worshipping her. I doubt she suspects the way your feelings are leaning."
Cindy holds her face in her hands for a moment while she regains her composure. "I just don't understand how this happened. I've never felt this way about another woman before."
"Never?"
"Well, I made out with another girl at a college party once..."
Joan shrugs. "Who hasn't?"
"But until I met Lindsay, I really never thought about another woman like that. Even now, I'm not sure if it is something I would want to happen. It's like one of those threshold lines you can't go back from."
Joan, thinking of her own threshold ahead of her, nods her agreement. "You know, your friend is totally straight."
"Are you sure? I know she was married, but..."
"That tough guy vibe of hers is for the job only. If you made an approach, it would go badly, and it would strain your relationship."
Cindy sighs. "I kind of figured that. But what do I do? It's not like I'm panting after her twenty-four/seven, but these thoughts keep coming back."
"I hear that lots and lots and lots of sex with someone else often clears the mind of wayward thoughts. When was your last relationship?"
"Like I said, who has time to date?"
"When I said lots of sex, I wasn't suggesting you become an unpaid 'ho. I mean an actual care for someone, trust someone, bed down with someone regularly, relationship."
"Oh, well...huh, I guess it has been about a year and a half. Shortly after my Dad died, I broke up with my last serious boyfriend."
Joan mentally kicks herself. How did she miss that? Cindy has deep trust issues of her own with guys because the last one hurt her so badly at the same time she was suffering her father's loss. No wonder she is so scared of trusting her heart to another man.
"The boyfriend wasn't there for you when you really needed him?"
Cindy gulps and a few tears start as she recalls this painful time. "My Dad...was my world. I was his little girl no matter how old I got, and he was this source of unwavering love. I...I thought I had found that again with my jerk of a boyfriend. It turned out, he was only in it for the good times. When I got weepy and needed someone to lean on, it was 'too heavy' for him to deal with. He...ran away like I was toxic."
Joan hands Cindy a tissue as the red-head weeps. It is a good type of cry - very cathartic. Joan takes a moment to check on Adam, who is near the front of the restaurant having a heated exchange with Otto. They aren't making a scene, but even at this distance, Joan can tell there are some harsh feelings growing between the two. Joan's thoughts are interrupted by Cindy.
"Thank you...Joan?" (Joan nods.) "This has really helped me. Wow, I feel like I've been through a month of therapy...not that I've ever..."
"Some of the best people have gone through therapy. You're welcome, Cindy. I hope everything goes well with you."
Cindy nods and stands, recognizing the equivalent of: 'Our time is up'. She walks away, her soul lightened and her path clearer. Joan smiles, and marks this as her good deed for the day. Immediately the thought comes to her that no good deed goes unpunished. At the front of the restaurant, Adam has ended his conversation with Otto and turns to walk away. He literally bumps into Cindy. There are apologies and smiles. A few words are exchanged and Cindy hands him her business card. Briefly, her hand rests on Adam's arm. It is a clear moment of flirtation, and Joan bristles. Hey, when I said find someone to have lots of sex with, I didn't mean my boyfriend! Adam is enough of a guy to appreciate such a pretty young woman taking an interest in him. He smiles back and says something that makes Cindy both laugh and blush. Worse, as Adam walks away, heading back to Joan, he glances over his shoulder and sees Cindy watching him. She smiles again and exits.
Joan grits her teeth and all but growls her anger and jealousy. He does this on a date with her? Adam Rove, I don't care how much I want sex, you couldn't get me to go home with you tonight if you begged!
To Be Continued. Please review.
The other side of the first meeting of Joan and the members of the Women's Murder Club can be found in my story, BURDEN OF THE BADGE. The possible interest of reporter Cindy Thomas in Inspector Lindsay Boxer was never established in the series, but it is a favorite topic of fanfiction stories, so I have included a slight aspect of that in this story.