PART THREE
7-2-07/Monday morning.
Joan jogs along breathing hard and off of her stride. Every lap around Alamo Square seems to take forever as Joan finds it impossible to focus on her task. Her mind continually drifts back to the events of last night…
Adam picked up on her sudden change of attitude, but being a guy he was clueless about why Joan was now cold and angry. (And she certainly wasn't going to tell him!) Adam took it in stride, chalking it up to Joan's not uncommon moodiness. Frustrating.
As the evening progressed, Adam remained calm, polite and charming. He talked of his classes, and his impression of living in the bay area. He even introduced Joan to a couple more of Otto's nephews who worked at the café. Joan noticed that Hans their waiter and Frederick their busboy seemed unhappy with their lot in life. Fredrick, the youngest, seemed particularly dissatisfied with how his future looked, but apparently had few options before him. Adam explained that Otto, while outwardly a jovial guy, was a notorious cheapskate who didn't hesitate to exploit his family by paying them subpar wages while promising that when he eventually retired, he would share ownership of the restaurant with his nephews.
It was this tight-fisted way with money that was also the cause of friction between Otto and Adam. The five hundred dollars that Otto was suppose to pay for the mural consisted of a hundred down and the rest upon completion. But Otto was trying to renegotiate the deal and have Adam take out the balance in trade. Their 'free' meal was a part of that new deal. Adam was upset about this arrangement as he always needed money, and explained that he and Otto have been arguing for days over the new payment plan. What was Adam to do? Non-confrontational by nature, Adam could hardly take the mural with him, and he did not want to get entangled in a court battle.
Of course Joan sympathized with Adam, and that helped ease her annoyance. As she thought about it, Joan decided she was over reacting to Adam's mild flirtatiousness with a pretty girl who was obviously interested in him. Guys did stuff like that. As Kate Bloom observed, they thought with their joysticks. Joan decided to let it go, even though she maintained a fair amount of anger toward Cindy Thomas. She went out of her way to help the young reporter, and is repaid by the red-head flirting with her boyriend. Wasn't it obvious she and Adam are a happy couple? Wasn't it…?
A disturbing doubt entered Joan's head. Cindy didn't seem to be the sort who went about breaking up couples. Maybe, to her, the Girardi/Rove relationship looked like it was sputtering to an end? Maybe Cindy was right. Joan's excessive agitation at such a minor moment of flirting revealed the fatal flaw that has existed between her and Adam ever since Bonnie. Trust. Trust. Trust. Burned once, always shy. Joan realizes that no matter how much she loves Adam, she will never fully trust him. In fact…
Joan stops jogging and stands perfectly still as she is startled by a personal revealation. As she catches her breath, Joan realizes it has been some time since she has heard her tutor's lecture. She looks about and sees him standing at the edge of the park, peacefully gazing at the sky. He wears a rare smile. Joan walks over to him and looks up…
"Hey, forget something?"
The angel looks down at her and his smile disappears. "You weren't in another bedroom this morning, so I assumed you were willing to train, but why bother? Even your usual level of minimal attention is missing."
"I have a lot on my mind."
"You are indulging your physical sensations at the cost of your spiritual gifts."
Joan wants to deny this, but there is too much truth in his statement. By the time Adam walked her to the door and kissed her goodnight, erotic imagery was dominating her thoughts. The kiss was wonderful, but she wanted so much more. As for Adam, she could not read if he really wanted a serious relationship, a quick roll in the hay or if he was just indulging the hometown virgin for old time's sake. She couldn't read him because her libido was standing in the way.
Joan sighs. "Should we try again?"
"No, you have attracted enough attention for the day."
Joan looks over her shoulder and notices a curtain quickly closing at Florene's house. Joan sighs. Either Florene or Kate Bloom has been watching her talk to an invisible giant. No doubt they will soon be asking her if she is off her meds...
X X X X X
At the San Francisco Register, Cindy Thomas has finished reading the morning crime reports, and is about to start her day of rushing from crime scenes, to police stations and to court rooms. She hesitates at her desk as she recalls the wonderfully erotic dream she had last night. The first such dream she has had in many months. The fact that it was about Adam Rove causes a stab of guilt at her conscience. That Joan girl, with her amazing insights, helped her more in a few minutes than nearly a year of therapy. It is all so clear now. Her 'crush' on Lindsay Boxer was just her subconcious way of denying her fear and pain when it came to starting again with a new guy. The thought of a real relationship with a new man had paralyzed her, and her way of denying that obvious truth was to imagine an erotic fantasy with her beautiful new friend. Cindy now realizes that if that fantasy had begun to come true, if Lindsay had made a pass at her, she would have run like a scared mouse.
Now, Cindy faces a new and some what troubling situation. Her renewed sexual energy feels like a dam burst, and she is being swept along with it. Her embarrrassing admission last night to the ladies of the club that if an artist like Adam painted her portrait like that mural, she would instantly jump his bones is an example of how she feels. Yes, Cindy feels a desperate need to have her 'portrait painted'. But there are problems. For one, Adam must be at least two years younger than her, and she has never dated a younger guy before. Ehh, no big deal. But then there is Joan. Even though Cindy is sure Joan's relationship with Adam is a train wreck that is about to happen, she will not knowingly try to break them up. Still, when it occurs, she must act fast. A guy like Adam Rove won't be on the market for long, and Cindy wants to make certain she is first in line.
Cindy turns to her computer and googles, 'Adam Rove, Arcadia Maryland'. Let's see...only child of Carl and Elizabeth Rove, three time winner of his city's high school competition for art students...Arrested. Cindy reads in disbelief of a report of stolen art supplies by Adam from the hometown newspaper where he was working. That doesn't sound like the guy she met last night. Wait, a follow up - charges dropped when it was proved Adam was framed by his employer, a man named Ryan Hunter...
Cindy's eidectic memory clicks in. A girl named Joan and the city of Arcadia and Ryan Hunter... Girardi! Yes, that was the name. Cindy does a quick search on Joan and finds the amazing tale of a high school senior who figured out that a respected community leader was actually a domestic terrorist who was attacking religious targets. Somehow Joan figured it all out, gathered evidence and when she convinced the authorities to act, Hunter killed himself in an explosion. Wow. Lindsay was right when she said this Joan girl had seen a lot of weird stuff and had to grow up fast and hard. Quickly, Cindy creates a recap file and sends it to Lindsay, Jill and Claire. Now, on with her day...
X X X X X
Joan's day is spent as a tourist in this beautiful city. She and Adam travel to Ghiradelli Square and walk hand in hand admiring the views before going by cable car to Fisherman's Wharf, where they spend most of the day. Adam, who hasn't seen many of the city's sights himself, goes out of his way to be charming and romantic. As they are amused by street performers, take in the wax museum and view a couple of old sailing ships, Adam draws Joan out about her life since their time apart. Joan finds herself confessing that on her very recent visit to Los Angeles, her old boyfriend Dylan Hunter proposed marriage. Adam is taken aback by this, but is reassured by Joan's statement that although she has many tender feelings for Dylan, she couldn't see them working as a couple in the long term.
They continue with a tour of an old World War Two submarine, which fascinates the mechanically inclined Adam. After a fabulous lunch at a Chinese restaurant, they take a cruise of the bay, which includes travel under the Golden Gate Bridge and a trip around Alacatraz Island. Adam suggests taking a tour of the old prison, but the intense spiritual pain that lingers there is something Joan doesn't want to deal with. Later, they spend a long time at the city's Aquarium of the Bay, viewing the amazing assortment of marine life. Through all of these activities they hold hands, whisper and giggle little private love jokes and frequently share kisses.
That evening, after a dinner at one of the city's seemingly endless supplies of great restaurants, Adam and Joan go to a little jazz club that is a favorite of his. Jazz isn't a particular favorite of Joan's, but she enjoys the music because she knows it means so much to Adam. As their night is drawing to a close, they walk together into the BART station to catch the last train of the day back to Berkeley. It has been a perfect day, and Joan knows Adam has made a special effort to re-establish their trust and romantic connection. Normally, she would be moved to tears by Adam's kind, thoughtful attention to her. Normally. But today, she is just pissed.
All day long, while Adam has been sweet and romantic, Joan has been going crazy with desire. She has done her best to be as obvious of her needs as she could without actually begging for sex. She has tried all she knows to build a fire deep in the loins of her boyfriend while he has been intent on being a perfect gentleman. Damn. On the submarine, which required some ladder climbing, she made certain Adam followed her so he could look up her skirt. ('Hey big boy, notice the thong? That's for you.') At the Chinese restaurant, she found several excuses to lean over the table so Adam could get a close look at her cleveage. At the jazz club, she rubbed her leg up against his, but apparently Adam thought she was tapping her foot to the music. What did it take? Now at the train station, it was her last chance to persuade Adam to invite her back to his place...
"I had a wonderful day, Adam. A wonderful evening too."
"So did I, Jane. I think I will remember this day for the rest of my life."
"Yes, a great day, a great evening, a...great night?"
Adam smiles at her and gently caresses her cheek. "Well, I have to catch my train or I'll be stuck on this side of the bay."
Joan suppresses a groan. He isn't going to ask her! Maybe she will have to beg. Adam leans in for yet another one of their 'sweet' kisses. Not this time, buddy. Joan throws her arms around Adam, and kisses him with all the passion she can muster. Her tongue darts in and out of his mouth while she presses hard against his body. Joan's spiritual senses may be completely dulled at the moment by her...lust, but she doesn't need them to sense the way Adam is stirring...
They part and Joan gives him a shy smile. Now, be a guy. Ask me back to your place.
Adam gulps hard. "See...see you tomorrow."
Joan watches in horror as Adam rushes to the train and waves goodbye as the doors close. Pathetically, Joan waves back as the train pulls away. What the hell? Why? Joan turns and walks toward the bus stop, a few tears of sadness and frustration falling from her eyes. What was wrong? He wanted her, she knew that - felt that. Well sure, with enough friction and sluttiness, you could stir any guy, but that didn't mean he really wanted you. Maybe this was her fault? Maybe Adam was turned off by her non-stop agressiveness during the day? Some guys were like that. Actually, most of them wanted the traditional role of the persuer.
As Joan rides the bus back to Alamo Square, she sighs heavily several times as she tries to think clearly about what went wrong, and what she should do to correct the situation. The problem is, she can't think clearly. Ever since arriving in town, Joan has experienced a sort of...damburst of released sexual frustration. For years, she has been following the 'good girl' rules taught to her by her Mom, with all of those traditional Catholic family values included. Now, she doesn't want to be the good girl. She wants to be bad. She wants to do wild, naughty things with Adam Rove, whom she knows to have an intense libido. So why now has he decided to play the perfect gentleman? The answer comes to Joan, but she doesn't like it. Adam is taking this very seriously. He's putting away his guy instincts in order to focus on relationship first and sex a distant second place. Normally, Joan's heart would be bursting with joy at such a development. Normally.
As Joan gets off the bus, she decides she must rethink her gameplan. Either she must go along with Adam's approach, or swallow her pride and bluntly ask for a deflowering. Still lost in a fog of sexual intensity, the begging for sex idea does seems the best option. Maybe then she can finally think about their relationship. Speaking of fog, it is rolling in again and Joan can barely see her path as she makes way back to Florene's place. The sidewalk is deserted and she is alone, until suddenly, she isn't. In front of her are two young men who are as startled as Joan by their sudden encounter. Joan realizes, she is in danger. These two men, drug addicts by the look of them, act as a team, and a pair of demons also acts as a team in influencing them. Joan berates herself for being so dull witted. If her spiritual self was on track, she would have been aware of this danger long before she actually met these two face to face.
The two men recognize Joan, the slip of a girl they ran away from, and still don't know why. Once again they feel an unexplainable edginess, but this time stubborn pride will keep them from running. Hands slip into pockets for hidden weapons. Joan knows she is at risk, fighting two men was hard enough, but under the influence of demons they would be ruthless and deadly. As the two men whip out sharp knives, Joan pulls from her bag the silver cross personally given to her by God. The demons seeing this can take no more. Screeching in fear, they abandon their humans, preferring to wander the darkness alone to being cast into hell. The two men, able to freely think for the first time in years, stand still as they both are suddenly struck by the thought: 'How did my life end up like this'?
Joan walks between them unmolested.
X X X X X
7-3-07/Tuesday morning.
Joan completes her run under the watchful eye of her tutor, who is still refraining from further demonology lectures. As Joan catches her breath, she looks up for any response to her improved effort this morning.
"Ten more laps."
Joan nods and begins to run again. Coach Keating could take a few lessons from her personal trainer. As she runs, Joan knows she has been making a fool of herself, not just with Adam, but before her tutor. She wonders if he sometimes laughs at her behind her back. Poor pathetic human, led by your hormones like a puppet on a string, and it almost got you killed.
"Faster."
Joan picks up the pace, sweating a lot and starting to feel a stitch in her side. Okay, I deserve a little disciplining, but don't damage the merchandise. I still have martial arts moves to practice. The extra laps go by, and when she comes to a stop again, Joan collapses on the ground, breathing hard.
"No...lecture?" Joan gasps.
"What would be the point? You seem unable to retain the lessons you have already received. Allowing yourself to get into such a disgusting state of inattention, you had to literally bump into the demon influenced in order to notice them!"
"We...didn't bump. Just...came close. Were you watching? Thanks for the help."
"I am not your bodyguard. I am not your moral guide."
"Hey, don't judge me. You may have witnessed humanity forever, but you don't have a clue what it's like to have one of these bodies, and all the stuff we have to deal with."
"Perhaps not, but I have witnessed those of your calling for thousands of years. I have seen them struggle with their baser natures. I have seen the ripples when they allowed themselves to become weak. I know the suffering it can cause."
"Suffering? Hey, I'm..."
"On vacation. Yes, I know. I also know you have a calling and a duty to our God. Both of which you are ignoring while you persue this hormonal quest."
"Am I hearing a suggestion?"
"Abandon the quest."
"Not gonna happen."
"Then complete it quickly and return to duty before you or someone else pays the price." the angel says before walking away.
Joan staggers to a park bench and catches her breath as she considers her tutor's advice. He's right, she is out of control and needs to reel herself in. Joan begins to softly meditate, using a favored bible verse as her mantra. As she becomes more centered, Joan once again feels that close connection to the board of life. Now, if she can only keep her libido under control...
"Good morning Cousin Florene."
Florene Donnelly stops a few feet short of Joan. She wonders how Joan knew it was her as she kept her approach quiet and Joan still hasn't opened her eyes... "Uh, good morning Joan."
Joan opens her eyes and smiles. "I know you and Kate have been watching me in the park, and that you've been concerned by my odd behavior."
"We've noticed that you seem to be speaking to someone who...isn't here. I thought maybe you were praying...?"
"Sometimes I pray, sometimes I gripe at God and sometimes I just commune with God's creation." Joan says as she waves her hand toward the sky. "Just now, I was meditating."
Florene breathes a sigh of relief. Joan sounds calm and lucid, and certainly Florene knows lots of people who meditate. She sits next to Joan. "How are you doing, Joan? I've noticed the last two nights you've seemed...stressed when you returned home."
"I've got guy trouble."
Florene smiles. "I'll gladly give you what advice I can, but my experience in this area is limited. I stopped dating guys in high school when I realized there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that I would ever want to sleep with one."
"Well, I want to sleep with one - a lot, but we seem to have mixed signals."
"How so?"
"Our usual roles are reversed. We were always traditional with Adam the persuer and me the persued. He was the guy with his priorities being sex then relationship, and me the other way around. Now, I want sex."
"And what about relationship?"
"I...don't know. For the first time I can't see what I want beyond the physical. Maybe, once that's out of the way, I can finally see clearly where Adam and I stand as a couple."
Florene thinks a moment before replying. "It does sound like you've reversed roles. I've always wondered how men can compartmentalize sex and love. In a committed relationship they equate sex with love, but without that loving commitment, sex is just sex. Perhaps, Adam is reluctant to risk his heart when the girl he loves is consumed by...just sex. If you made it more clear to Adam exactly what you want...?"
Joan sighs. "But I'm not sure. I love Adam, and I certainly want to sleep with him, but I'm scared of making a full commitment one more time. I don't think we can endure another failure. I don't want Adam gone from my life because we tried to make it work one time too many."
"Then perhaps, and I'm sorry to say this dear, you shouldn't persue a more intimate relationship with a friend so precious."
Joan nods, figuring that's two and a half votes against getting closer. One from her tutor, one from Florene and half a vote from herself. Unfortunately, the other half of her is still voting an emphatic, YES!
X X X X X
At mid-morning, Adam picks Joan up for another day on the town. At the very first Joan is focused and alert to her spiritual connections, and can read Adam clearly. That quickly fades after their first kiss. Desire arises again in Joan, and she finds the more she tries to suppress her passion, the more she dwells on it. At least at the start, Joan reads what she expects to find in Adam. He does love her, but much of that is mixed with the feelings they share as each other's first love. Like her, Adam is very nervous about the ripples of another try at relationship. But, he does desire her, even if he is in much better control of his libido than Joan. (Of course, he isn't a virgin who feels like she will explode if she doesn't have sex soon.) One troubling thing Joan manages to read just as her gift starts to fade...Adam is keeping a secret from her. He considers it important, and is desperate she not find out. Unfortunately, Joan can read no more.
Joan has agreed to spend the day touring art museums in the hope that the excitement Adam feels at such times will translate into a more excited attitude toward her. It takes all of Joan's willpower (and the occasional trip to the ladies room to splash cold water on her face) to keep from repeating her overly flirtatious ways of yesterday. Still, she has only moderate success in keeping her sex drive under control.
As they visit the Asian Art Museum, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and the amazing Legion Of Honor, Joan is more focused on Adam than the masterpieces they see. Temporarily deprived of her gifts, Joan tries to use her woman's intuition to solve the riddle of what Adam truly wants from their time together, and what is the secret he is keeping? Adam is so enraptured by the works of artists like Degas, Monet, Ruebens, Rembrandt and Rodin, he doesn't notice how distracted Joan is as she looks for even tiny clues of what he is hiding from her...
Is it another woman? Adam admitted to being with two, but Joan didn't think to ask about whether Adam is involved with someone else. Someone he hasn't slept with yet, but is hoping to. Maybe Adam is hoping not to have to make a choice between the treasured hometown girlfriend who is in town for a week and the new hottie he plans to bed soon. Maybe, if he can time it out right, he plans to do them both? These jealous thoughts begin to dominate Joan's mind, and almost drive out her desire for immediate sex. Almost.
After the museums and another delicious dinner, they attend an 'R' rated romantic comedy, but their date remains 'PG'...hand holding and a few simple kisses. By the time they are back at the BART station, this time at a much earlier hour, Joan has decided to abandon her quest. Adam is indeed a precious friend, and clearly he isn't into this as much as she is. Joan doesn't want to pressure Adam into a decision they may both regret...
"Another wonderful day, Jane."
"Yes, it was great. Really. Uh..."
"Jane, I was thinking, instead of us spending another day in San Francisco, maybe you'd like to come over to Berkeley tomorrow?"
"Berkeley? And we would...?"
"I'd love to show you the campus."
"Oh. Just the campus?"
"And my apartment, if you'd like."
Joan smiles. "Yes, I'd love that."
Adam smiles back, takes her into his arms and gives Joan a passionate kiss. She responds eagerly. They part with a sigh of pleasure and a tingle of excitement.
"Tomorrow around noon? I'll meet you at the BART station."
"Nothing can keep me away."
Adam nods and goes to the train, and as it pulls out, he waves. This time Joan waves back with enthusiasm. Yes, finally! Tomorrow...
To Be Continued. Please review.