Chapter 8: I'll Back Off So You Can Live Better… Or Not

Author's Note: The beginning kind of reminds me of "I'll Back Off So You Can Live" by /Gina Choi from Cube Entertainment. It was already awesome, and having DooJoon just makes it more epic ^_^ I'll stop ranting now and actually start doing something constructive…

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Yi-Jung's POV

Jun-Pyo had called another one of his "F4 Meetings." Reminds me of our ShinHwa days, but for once he wasn't plotting. I expected to hear some "amazing" idea on how to restore Jan-Di's memory, but for once the ringleader seemed blank.

He was sitting in his chair, but the difference in posture stuck in my mind. Usually he was confident, cocky even. His back would be raised as straight as possible, even though he already stood at 6'2" and he didn't need the height. All his suits were pressed just hours before, and his shoes were clearer than mirrors. Whether he wore a smirk or a grimace, the stubbornness in his eyes would always be there. The very aurora given off by him was intimidating, and could make anyone feel inferior at first glance.

Today however, was a completely different day. What girls call a "bad-hair day" or what commoners call "getting up on the wrong side of the bed." Instead of having his legs crossed, they were sprawled. He stared off into space, his forehead wrinkled. I shifted on the loveseat again, seeing him like this was a bit unsettling, even awkward.

"I'm giving up." He muttered, matter-of-factly to us. Or tried to, but it the end he seemed to be convincing himself rather than us.

"Well, rather than saying that, I'm letting her go. I'm letting Jan-Di go." He said, stumbling over his words a little. Hearing this should've shocked me, Jun-Pyo never gave up. No matter how much of a fool he got made into be, no matter how un-business like or unmanly. He was possibly the most stubborn organism existing on the planet.

Knowing we wanted the entire story, he started. The beginning seemed ridiculous. Ji-Ha was ridiculous, Ji-Ha was a bad influence, Ji-Ha should be thrown into the African Rift Valley, etc. Slowly, the pieces came to me. Jan-Di breaking down without even knowing why, the hammer slamming onto her chest.

"So I've decided… I'm letting her go." He concluded, sighing. Woo-Bin patted him on the back,

"Don't worry about it man! Plenty of fish in the ocean." He said, but even his smile came out deformed.

Jan-Di, dry-cleaning girl, commoner, she was an unofficial part of the F4 now. I heard Ga-Eul take a sip of her water, and I could see bangs covering her eyes. She must be hiding her tears, I thought, and sat back.

I could almost imagine what was going on in her head right now; she was so easy to figure out. This was exactly like a scene in a movie, the main character letting his girl go for her own sake. Except, in the dramas, he always went back to her. I could tell he was determined to stay away from Jan-Di from now on, seeing how he looked telling us her rant. She was probably proud of Jun-Pyo I supposed, but hopefully not too proud. It'd be complicated if she ended up falling for him. For Jan-Di of course. Nothing else. Hearing her stand up and walk to the other side of the room, I assumed she was going to the bathroom.

Seeing as Ji-Hoo was bored as well, I leaned over to him.

"Do you really-"

WHAM

All eyes were on Ga-Eul and Jun-Pyo. I could easily see why they were friends now; they had a tendency to be unnecessarily violent. He looked genuinely surprised as supposed to angry.

"What~?" Was all he could sputter out. She was lucky he was half-dead, she would've died if he was at his 100%.

"You don't deserve Jan-Di. You never did. You IDIOT!" She started, pure anger in her eyes. I'd never seen her so… Emotional. Even broken down on the street, she still had a shred of self-control left in her body.

"What are you talking about? Isn't it a little late? You know what? Fine! It doesn't matter anymore, I'm letting her go." He said, and sat back down.

"Letting her go…" she started again, "What is this? A freaking drama? You're not letting her go; you're giving up on her. She doesn't remember you, and you don't feel like trying anymore. She's hurting you, and she doesn't even know it. You don't have the nerve to tell her, so you avoid her to make your sorry self feel better."

"What? Why does it matter if I don't want to feel pain? Do you like pain? What about when Yi-Jung rejected you? How many times do you want to go through that?" He stated, his voice raising a little. He hit my nerve a little too… Rejecting her wasn't something I wanted to think about anymore.

"You are so selfish! I think it passes on through guys because you're unbearable! What about Jan-Di? When you turned the whole school against her? When your fan girls attacked her for hitting you? When your fan girls attacked her for dating you? When the whole school hated her because you didn't think she loved you? When her mom completely tore her apart from her family? Every single second of your relationship, there has been something hurting Jan-Di because of you! She went through all of it because she loved you! Every second, you have been the only one feeling pure love in your relationship because she has been dying on the inside!"

Jun-Pyo seemed stumped for moments, but finally thought of something somewhat legitimate.

"You know what Jan-Di did? She let me go! She went off somewhere to her parents, and left me on the street! I'm returning the favor, and I'm letting her go to! I'm backing off for her own good!" He said, and his eyes were getting watery now. I started walking over to Ga-Eul; this argument was hitting personal issues in both of them.

"You're not letting her go! You can't let someone go until you've tried everything you can to keep them with you! What have you tried? You ate freaking ice cream and took her on vacation? Is that fighting for her? Is that showing you love her? And now what? You feel insecure because some suicidal idiot decides to like her too? You GIVE UP. You DON'T let her go, you're GIVING UP! Like you said, with me and Yi-Jung Sunbae. I tried EVERYTHING!"

I had reached her now, and was prepared to cover her mouth and take her home. But her last words hit me, and I didn't have to energy to go through all that anymore. I sighed, collapsing on the couch.

"You looked at her crying! You felt her pain! You personally heard everything shred from the bottom of her heart! She stood there raw in front of you, and you didn't do ANYTHING! Maybe it's better you GIVE UP on her, because if you can stand watching her in so much pain and not have the will to comfort her than you don't love her at all! You haven't even freaking confessed for God's sake! If you can be so close to her while supposedly loving her for so long and still control the urge to confess, than you don't love her at all!"

Ga-Eul's tears were streaming down steady from her face, but I was exhausted. "If you can stand watching her in so much pain and not have the will to comfort her than you don't love her at all!" I looked back at her. It was so easy, I could just hand her a tissue. Friends handed each other tissues. It was so simple… But so not me. I sighed, and stood up, completely forgetting the situation with Jun-Pyo. All I had to-

"Ga-Eul, come on. I'm taking you home." Woo-Bin stated, completely devoid. After shoving a wad of napkin into her hand, he gently dragged her into his car and sped off. I sighed… Glancing over at Jun-Pyo. He had disappeared… And I could guess where. I sighed; Jun-Pyo was awful when he was drunk. This was going to be a horrible night.

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I reread this… And the first word I thought was "FAIL"

I apologize for making you read this… But I'm too lazy to edit it at the moment

I should avoid writing arguments in the future… Yep, that's what I'll do

I know this sucks, but please review. I need to know how to make it better…

And my chapters just seem to keep getting shorter =_=