Tomo and Yomi stood together in the cargo bay of a large transport craft. They were waiting for the other team members to join them on the trip.
Yomi turned to Takino. "Hey Tomo."
"Yeah Yomi?"
"Before we go aboard the alien space ship, I need to ask you something."
"Okay."
"Why do you think I'm a lesbian and a germaphobe?"
"We're about to risk our lives through an encounter with an unknown alien race, and that's the only thing you want to ask me?"
"Don't flatter yourself, you're not that interesting."
At that moment the cargo bay door opened revealing the other ULE (Unidentified Life form Encounter) team members. Two of them were members of the Navy's Security Team Earth Class (STEC), one of them was a marine, and the final member was Kagura.
"I thought you weren't coming," Tomo said.
"If these creatures are hostile, you two are going to need all the help you can get," Kagura responded. "That's why I brought these guys with me. All of them have combat experience; not to mention numerous necessary skills. I doubt you two can take on aliens by yourselves."
"I can take on anything," Tomo bragged.
"Whatever, just don't die on me alright?" Kagura said.
"We'll both try our best," Tomo assured her.
Man, thought Smith. I can't believe I volunteered for this. Maybe the aliens will be super hot, but I doubt it.
"Hey jarhead," said the black haired STECie, "have you ever been in a combat zone?"
"Yeah, and I can beat any squid, whether they have an inflated ego or not."
"You'd better hope you never have to see me in action. I'd hate to think of how sad it would be for a 'real man' like yourself to lose to a girl."
"Whatever," Smith replied, I think I hate her already.
"Are all of you ready to go?" Alvarez's voice filled the cargo bay.
"Yes," everyone said in unison.
"Okay, sit down and don't get up. Broken bones aren't exactly my specialty," Alvarez commented.
"So Kagura," said Tomo, "where are the weapons?"
"First of all we, as in the security team, will get weapons. You two will not have weapons, unless of course everything goes south. If that happens, and I pray to god it does not, I may find myself forced to give you two firearms." It was quite clear that Kagura did not trust Tomo, or Yomi with lethal force.
"Hey Yomi," said Tomo. "Why did you say you were the least annoying of the ships officers?"
"Well I wasn't counting Commander Kasuga or Kagura when I said that."
"What about the rest of the ship's officers?" Tomo added.
"I included them."
"Even the one you slept with?" Tomo continued to ask her friend these very personal questions.
"Especially him!" Yomi yelled.
"Weird, I mean you lost your virginity to him right?" Tomo asked.
"Look," said Kagura, "let's just focus on the mission, okay?"
"Okay everyone, we are at what appears to be an airlock. Everyone needs to suit up and prepare for contact."
"You ready to go Yukari?" the black haired STECie asked.
"Sure am Nyamo," the brown haired STECie responded.
"Please, stop calling me that Yukari."
"Never! Victory and booze always!" the crazy b— yelled.
I never should have brought those two, Kagura thought to herself. They'll get us killed just as easily as Takino will.
The team put on their Deep Space Gear HazMat Capable. The two STECies had SCAR HSVs slung over their backs. Smith carried a standard TAR 51, Kagura carried her favorite; an HK 45SV with a laser sight and a high capacity magazine.
"The airlocks will join in about twenty seconds, after that I'll wait here for you guys to return," Alvarez stated.
"Understood," said Kagura, "now I want one thing to be absolutely clear. As long as we are on that ship, I am in charge. No action will be taken without you asking me about it first. Understand?"
"Yes ma'am," said everyone, Kagura was kind of scary after all.
"Alright airlocks have joined, alien atmosphere is like that of Earth. I guess that means the HazMat suits were overkill." Alvarez's joke was not well received.
"Let's just keep our armor on for now, we can take it off when we get back." Everyone agreed with Kagura since they were still afraid of her.
Smith walked in front of the rest of the group. This made him the "point man" of the ULE team. I hope that this won't be like the Alien movies, Smith thought, that shit still gives me nightmares. When it was clear that the aliens weren't going to jump out and attack him Smith calmed down a little, thinking that an alien would never rear its ugly face. It was then that Smith saw one of the aliens for the first time.
You have got to be kidding me, Smith thought to himself. The alien was short, it was green, it had huge eyes, and a funny hat. The aliens look just like a cartoon version of frogs? Smith was naturally confused since that was completely unexpected.
"Intruder!" screamed the alien. "Prepare for your death at the hands of Sergeant Keroro!"
What the f—? Smith thought to himself.
"Please don't hurt me!" the creature yelled. "Don't you know that I pee myself in self defense?"
Smith just stared at the small, pathetic, large eyed creature. Eventually the other group members saw the alien. Kagura was the first to respond.
"You there!" she yelled. "Who is in charge of this ship?"
"Th-that would be me!" The formerly sniveling wench leaped to his feet, "I Sergeant Keroro leader of the ARMPIT Platoon am in charge of this vessel."
No one knew quite how they should respond to the alien. His unexplainable mood swing denying even the hope of conversation.
"Hey," Keroro said, "you guys can speak Keronian?"
"I guess so," Smith replied, "we were hoping to negotiate the terms of your surrender."
"Why should I surrender? We're equally matched!"
"You have six people aboard this ship?" asked Tomo.
"What are people?" asked the Keronian.
"I mean are there six of you?"
"No, just five."
"So, then how can we be equally matched?" asked Yomi.
"Well, I'm pretty sure that the five of us can take on the six of you. I mean all of us have weapons, but our weapons are Keronian; and therefore far superior to any alien devices you have!"
"Shut up already," Tomo said, "you stupid frog."
"I am not a stupid frog! I am amazing!" The Keronian's eyes began to water, soon tears flowed and an annoying crying noise escaped the alien frog.
"Sergeant what's the matter?"
The group noticed a small black creature appear. It had on another funny hat, it had some symbol on its chest, and it had a tail. Of all the aliens (of which they had only seen two), this was the most bizarre (which is weird since Sgt. Keroro had a yellow star on his chest).
"Tamama!" Keroro yelled, "where is Giroro?"
"Umm, in the bathroom I think," the black frog alien responded.
"No I'm right here."
Giroro was a red frog, his eyes were strange (like most frog aliens'), he had a strange hat with a skull on it, and finally he carried a large weapon on his back. None of the ULE team members knew what to do next.
"Intruders! I'll clean the floor with your blood!" screamed Giroro.
"Corporal Giroro, wait!"
Giroro turned to the source of the noise, Sgt. Keroro.
"What is it?" Giroro asked.
"These kind aliens have agreed not to destroy us, but only if we surrender to them now!" the Sergeant told his subordinate. "Don't you see Giroro? If they can travel through space in invisible spaceships we don't have a chance of defeating them!"
"We don't have invisible spaceships," said Tomo.
"But, then why didn't we see your interstellar craft?" the Sergeant said stunned.
"Don't you guys have cameras outside this ship?"
"NO!" yelled Keroro, "we only trust our eyes! Besides I don't know how to install them."
"Idiot!" yelled Giroro, "why didn't you ask someone else to set them up?"
"It hardly matters," the Sergeant answered.
It was not too long after this statement that Commander Kasuga decided to come aboard the alien vessel. This was based on the decision that the aliens were not a serious threat to the safety of the crew.
"Hey Osaka," Kagura said. "What brings you here?" By this time everyone had taken off their helmets and only smith remained in his battle armor.
"It doesn't matter why I'm here," Osaka responded. "How are we progressing with these…Keronians?"
"We're doing pretty well so far, they don't seem to have a really good understanding of how to run a ship. This only makes sense though since they're a part of their species' army."
"Fine," said Osaka.
Kagura watched her old friend walk towards the other members of the team, engaged in a friendly game of soccer with the Keronians. Osaka was completely different now. The last time Kagura had seen her was when they had both completed their SEAL training, almost four years ago.
Kagura had known Osaka ever since they were kids. She had first met her friend after Osaka had moved from the town she was born in, Osaka, Japan. That was how the poor girl had earned her nickname. Back when they were children Osaka had always been spacey, she often came up with non sequiturs that no one understood. When they were both conscripted into the Navy Osaka had not changed yet. For some reason Kagura and Osaka had both been selected for further training to become Navy SEALs. Kagura would never understand why Osaka had been selected for the SEALs, in the past she couldn't swim, had no upper body strength, and no stamina. The training killed her twice, but somehow she was resuscitated; not only that she wasn't discharged from the SEAL's brutal training methods. But even death hadn't changed Osaka, except for the fact that she claimed it wasn't too exciting; no, what had changed Osaka was the time she had spent in "the pit".
Surprised by her lack of physical and mental toughness, the SEAL instructors placed her into "the pit" also known by such names as: "I wish I were dead", "Where's my mommy?", and "I already know what hell is like, I don't think death is so bad anymore". Unfortunately Osaka had gone to "the pit" twice. Needless to say afterwards, she just wasn't the same. Kagura missed the happy, spacey Osaka, and she had a feeling that she'd never see her again.