Watching the ULE team and the Keronians totally suck at the glorious game of football or soccer (this is of course dependent on what name you call the sport where two teams kick around a black and white ball). Kagura was certain that a peaceful solution was possible. She knew that one could be reached quite easily, and that no one wanted otherwise.

Twenty minutes later…

Commander Kasuga had decided that it was safe to attach the alien vessel to one of the airlocks on the Hercules. Kaorin looked at the officers assembled on the bridge. Todd, the communications officer, was busy talking with Larry, the navigator. Kaorin still couldn't believe it, I met Kagura: Peach Girl! This is even better than the time I kissed Miss Sakaki! One night Kaorin had been walking home to her apartment, the air had been cool and the smell of backpack lint filled the air. Ahead Kaorin noticed a large stumbling shape in the darkness. This shape was soon revealed to be a drunken Miss Sakaki, her Asian heritage doing her no good when it came to alcohol. As soon as she saw Kaorin, Sakaki had rushed up to her and gave her the tongue; before she recoiled back in pain.

"Stupid kangaroo," Sakaki mumbled, "what the hell is your problem?" The drunken animal "lover" walked away, disgusted and with blood on her lips.

"Oops," Kaorin thought aloud. Oh crap I just thought aloud again, this is the twelfth time today! Kaorin wasn't sure why she had bit Sakaki, maybe she was nervous, maybe she was kinky, she just didn't know. All she knew for certain was that that was a pretty weird, yet wonderful, drunken encounter.

"Yo Kaorin," Larry the African American navigator interrupted, "why is your face red?"

"My face is not RED!" yelled Kaorin.

"The f— is your problem anyways," asked Todd.

"I don't have problems, and neither does anyone—"

"Kagura to bridge, Kagura to bridge," Kagura could be heard over the radio.

"Yes Kagura, what is it?" Kaorin asked.

"We've got problems, the Keronians have turned hostile! We're gonna need support!," Kagura sounded stressed.

"Oh my god," said Todd. "Do you think they'll be alright?"

"I think they'll be better if we can get them some backup," answered Larry.

Fifteen minutes prior…

After scoring three consecutive goals on her own, Kagura grew rather bored with the game of soccer. Going towards the Keronian version of a locker room for a shower Kagura encountered a strange sign. It had no words on it, but showed what appeared to be a showering Keronian and an exclamation point. Ignoring it Kagura went into the shower room.

"Tamama! Kick the ball over here!" yelled Keroro.

"No! Yomi, don't let these toads win!"

"Okay Tomo!" Mizuhara responded. Yomi somehow blocked the pass to Keroro. "Nyamo, take the ball!"

"Why does everyone keep calling me that?" asked Minamo before Yomi passed the ball to her. Minamo headed down the field towards the ARMPIT Platoon's goal, before being blocked by Giroro.

"Pathetic human," said Giroro, "it would be unwise to underestimate me!"

"But you couldn't keep up with Kagura," Tomo pointed out, "why should we listen?"

"Th—that was cold!" Giroro yelled.

Keroro watched as Giroro brought the ball further up the field. The air felt moist against his froggy skin. As he watched the Corporal kick the ball towards a certain goalie named "Jarhead" Keroro felt a change come over him. He felt an unstoppable amount of power surging through his body. His skin became moist (more so), and he realized that the humans couldn't stand up to him in a fight. Keroro looked around at his subordinates. Private Second Class Tamama's skin was shinier, Lance Corporal Dororo's movements were faster, Corporal Giroro's gaze was harsher, and Sergeant Major Kururu looked the same.

It was then that Kagura emerged from the shower.

"Yo Kagura!" said Tomo. "Where have you been?"

"I just took a shower, the shower rooms on this vessel are really steamy. There was so much moisture in the air that all of the towels were absolutely soaked."

"Hey," said Smith, "those aliens look different."

"Humans!" yelled Keroro, "we will bathe ourselves in your blood!"

"Not this again," Smith whined, "that's what he said the first time I saw him. After that he assumed the fetal position and threatened to urinate."

This time though it was quite clear that Sgt. Keroro was not afraid of Smith, or Nyamo, or even Kagura. His eyes glowed bright yellow, so did the rest of his team's. Suddenly they were quite menacing in appearance, their small height quickly forgotten.

"Prepare…to die!"

Keroro leaped into the air, a strange energy bolt escaped his hands. The wicked force coursed through the air, hitting Yukari in the chest.

"Yukari!" screamed Minamo watching as her "friend" fell to the ground.

"Holy shit! Let's get out of here!" Smith yelled.

The ULE team ran towards the airlock to get back to the ship.

"Negative!" Kagura yelled at Nyamo, "lay down suppressing fire!"

"Yes ma'am!" Nyamo reached for the SCAR HSV slung over her back. She aimed the rifle in the general direction of the Keronians before firing ten .30 rounds.

"No!" yelled Keroro, "Dororo's been hit!"

"I'll make them pay!" yelled Giroro, "this is for Dororo!" The Corporal aimed his large anti-tank missile launcher at the ULE team, thankfully he missed. The ULE team quickly reached the airlock.

"Close the airlock!" yelled Kagura.

The thick blast doors closed, separating them from the demon frogs. It was at that point that Nyamo started to cry.

"Hey squid," said Smith, "you think you can help me kill the rest of those bastards?"

This guy reminds me of Tom too, Kagura thought to herself. Why her old boyfriend came to mind wasn't quite clear to her. Back when Kagura had been conscripted into the Navy she had fallen in love with a Marine recruit named Tom. Eventually Tom left Kagura heartbroken, pregnant, and with a formerly incurable strain of syphilis. She hadn't seen him since.

"Do you think we'll be safe?" asked Tomo.

"Let's hope so," said Osaka, "because those aliens are a lot more dangerous than we thought they were.

"Aw crap!" said Tamama. "Those stupid aliens sealed the airlock, and I wanted to use their blood for smoothies!"

"Patience, private, patience."

"Sgt. what do you mean?" the three remaining platoon members asked.

"We have a plan for this, don't we Kururu?"

"Oh right, I almost forgot."

"What plan?" asked a curious Tamama.

"As I said before private, patience."

Two days later…

"We are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of Chief Petty Officer Tanazaki, Yukari, of the United States Navy. This tragedy will remind us all of the dangers we must face, to preserve humanity…."

"Just a few more preparations left Sgt." said Giroro, "then we'll be able to destroy every last human aboard that ship."

"Heh heh heh. Excellent," said Keroro, "I've never felt stronger, those poor meat monkeys won't even stand a chance…."

"…That is why we will not stand aside as these murderous creatures plan to attack us! We will not fall to these fiendish reptiles. Every member of the military will be expected to lead in the assault against them. But don't worry there's only four enemies we have to face…."

"They're almost fully charged Sgt. Keroro," the evil Kururu said. "How many shall we deploy?"

"The humans may not be the strongest aliens we've ever faced, but they are certainly not weaklings. However I think one wave will suffice don't you….?"

"…In less than two hours I want all of you to be ready to fight these bastards is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" the entire assembled audience yelled. There were over five hundred warfighters standing in front of Kasuga. All of them were ready to fight, all of them were ready to die. Kasuga was fairly certain however that this would be a short fight, they only had four enemies to kill after all….

"Time for you to die space monkeys," Keroro said to himself. "Tamama, how ready is the first wave?"

"At one hundred percent, sir!" the private replied.

"Excellent, Kururu?" said the Sergeant. "Will you lead them into battle?"

"It would be my pleasure Sergeant…but who will lead me?"

"Ha, I thought my team knew me by now. You should know Kururu…I'm the type of leader who only leads from the front!"

One hour later…

"Captain Howard, how long do think it will be till I can have frog leg stew?" Kagura asked.

"Not too long Commander. If you'd like I can show you a great Cajun recipe for frog."

"Sir!" the radio crackled to life. "We're under attack and encountering heavy resistance!"

"How can that be?" said Kagura. "Yesterday there was only four of them!"

"Oh, and these guys aren't frogs. We're facing an android army, and it's winning!"