So yeah long time no type! My bad! Life has been way too demanding and so I'm taking a few minutes off =] hopefully I can get a chapter done that fast! I really love this story and I really wish I had no life! Enjoy this chapter cause I know I enjoyed making it up as I went! Oh! And thanks for not sending me bunch of flames for not updating in like forever! :D Best readers ever are reading this right now!

Recap Chapter Nine:

"Kagome how long did it take you to recover after this was put in?" Sango asked me the look on her face hinting that she thought this was an extensive surgery.

"It took me about six hours, Sango at that time they had just begun using nano bots to speed up the healing process, it was an experimental option that I was willing to test out. It really worked, is that not what we use now days for healing? It was a genius technology." I was sure this was technology of the future and since I was in the future now I assumed it was being put to good use.

Sango didn't answer me instead she turned on her heel and stomped toward Koga. She turned him to face her and punched him square in the nose. "You idiot!" She screamed at him, I was holding her back now not sure if she was going to go for another hit.

"What the hell?" Koga looked at her as if she were crazy.

"She was healed with nano bots! How could you be so stupid!" I didn't understand and Koga suffered a moment of confusion then his face lit up with realization. He looked at me and that suffering pained expression he'd given me earlier passed over his face.

I looked at InuYasha and he clearly knew what was going on, I was the only one left in the dark. "What's going on? What do the nano bots have to do with anything?"

All eyes were on me and my heart sunk. "The nano bots, they had some serious side effects Kagome. The caused intense dizziness and vomiting, and often times the end result was sudden and unexpected death." InuYasha's calm voice did not make this information any easier for me to accept.

"I'm going to die?" Well, now that solved a few problems.

Chapter Ten Where's the Strength We Relied On?

"Oh shit!" InuYasha moved around the table towards me but I stopped him before he could reach me. "Kago—"

"How soon?" My voice was steady and I was trying my best to keep my face void of the emotions blaring in my head.

"Any day now." Koga stepped up to me, after 60 years I was no longer the Kagome he knew, instead I was just a body, the Kagome he knew was already dead and buried. I had buried her alive in this body that couldn't be saved. It was funny how our biggest fears always caught up to us somehow.

"Will it hurt?" he didn't expect my question, the look on his face made me drop my gaze to the floor. I wanted him to lie to me; I knew he wouldn't.

"Yes it will, actually I'm surprised you aren't in pain already." A hand reach out, I knew it was Koga's since InuYasha was still behind the desk, but he didn't get the chance to touch me. Instead InuYasha moved quickly around the desk and pushed him aside. His hands grabbed my shoulders desperately.

He gave me a good shake and I looked up at him giving him the attention he so desperately needed. "You aren't going to die, so stop this right now! Both of you!" He glared at Koga behind him. I frowned at him wondering where he got all this hope and determination and why he was wasting it on me. I must be dense I guess since I'm not understanding what that look on his face means.

I wished I could believe him, but I'd lost my will to hold on to another empty promise. Not that InuYasha was making promises, it sounded more like a guarantee. I had already tossed my hat in; I already knew my life was over, and I was ready to accept that defeat. "Maybe it's better this way InuYasha." I looked away from him, I couldn't stand the pained expression on his face and the way it was making my eyes well up with tears.

"You may be willing to give up but I'm not and when I save your ass you're going to have a lot of apologizing to do." His words were icy and his tone left a knot in my stomach. There was nothing I could do, he left before I could convince him that I was right.

I looked up and caught Sango frowning at me. I could see that she was torn between decisions, but I didn't know how she was going to react. She was still my best friend, but I didn't know her like I used to, I couldn't read her expressions anymore. I couldn't tell what she was going to do or what she was thinking.

The grimace on her face was a look I was getting used to, she stepped around Koga and made sure she had my eyes. "You are the only person in this world that I would follow to the end, and I will always be here for you, but he's right Kagome, and if you can't admit that then I don't think I can let him stay here, I can't let him keep putting himself on the line for you when you keep shutting him out." I wanted her to explain what she meant, why was she so concerned over InuYasha? Now I felt really dense, there was a piece to this big puzzle that I was missing and it was ruining the whole thing. I couldn't figure out what was going on; I couldn't figure out what that look on InuYasha's face had meant, and what Sango's warnings meant. She left following InuYasha to the back room of the lab.

"I guess I'm right back where I started, breaking things I can't fix." I didn't bother looking at Koga, I didn't want to see his face, and I knew he had the same masked disappointment as Sango.

"I'm sorry." His voice was soft almost silent. I wanted to make him take back those words, I didn't want his pity, but he continued before I could make him. "I'm sorry, but not because you are dying and I and unable to stop it. Kagome I'm sorry I lost hope. I lost it so long ago, and I shouldn't have let you go so easily, I didn't want to give up but I just couldn't find a reason to hope for your life to be restored. Even though I continued to search I was just wasting time without a clue and with no hope." He cleared his throat it was obvious tears were pooling in his eyes. "I never stopped loving you Kagome but I never had enough hope, I was never absolutely sure I was going to save you¸ not like he is now."

My head snapped up in shock, Koga was taking InuYasha's side too? I couldn't figure out what was going on everything was happening so fast and everyone was talking too much, "Koga, I don't want to die." I knew I didn't want to, I didn't want to go away, and I didn't want to give up, but in some ways had already done all three. Now tears were streaming down my cheeks, I didn't feel embarrassed by the emotion and Koga didn't mind it, he pulled me close and hugged me. I felt safe, like I was still a child that could be protected from the realities of life. My eyes watered till I'd soaked Koga's shirt with all my fear and regrets.

We rocked back and forth sharing the motion and a deep connecting sadness. He broke the silence "Do you remember when we first met?" there was a smile in his voice that was comforting. It slowed my tears.

"Yeah, you were wearing that god awful tie with the 'dna dinosaur' and trying to act intimidating. It was kinda cute actually." I smiled remembering the look on his face and the way he spoke in a deep tone to make me think he was some badass. Of course, the tie and the fact that he was dressed like the dork he was gave him away, and I'd spent most of my life around guys who thought they were badasses his act hadn't even fazed me.

He chuckled fondly recalling the memory we shared. "I think I burned that tie after you made fun of it the first time."

"There for a while I thought you'd burned them all, you didn't wear a tie again till the banquet." I smiled keeping him locked in my arms. I felt good being this close to him, my body felt right my heart was content, and even though my mind was sure this was a friends only hug I was trying to imagine this being more. I remembered being a couple, the cuteness of the whole thing seemed a bit odd for me, but it was comfortable. On the other hand InuYasha had been in the picture for barely a week and I felt like i was supposed to be wherever he was. My head was telling me I wanted him, my body heated up in response to the thought and my heart thudded in my chest. I tried to remind my organs that the kiss we'd shared had meant nothing, but of course they didn't care. I shook trying to clear my thoughts. It was wrong to be thinking about InuYasha while I was standing here with Koga, or that's what I was telling myself.

Koga tightened his arms around me sensing my distress, or maybe just thinking I was having another breakdown. Too bad it wasn't that simple. "Kagome, I want you to know, I'll do anything for you, if I can't save you I want to make you happy while I still have you." I felt his love radiating through his body, and I smiled. This simplicity is what I wanted.

"Thank you Koga." I pulled back finally deciding what had to be done. "You have to promise me something."

Frown lines etched into his face, "I'm not going to like this am i?"

"I'm not asking you to like it." I knew what this promise would mean for him and it would be hard, but I knew he would keep his word. "I'm going to die, but it doesn't have to happen here, and I don't want it to, so you are going to send me somewhere, I don't care where but I will not allow myself to destroy this planet." I felt him stiffen but I went on to justify myself. "I want the people I care about to live long happy lives, you each deserve it, and I will not let myself take that away from you." He stayed silent. "Koga, tell me you understand, tell me you'll help me?" My eyes met his and I held him there waiting on his consent.

He sighed finally dropping his head into my hair. "I do, and I promise, if you are going to die anyway I won't let it happen here, but" I felt his hesitation but he kept going after a moment. "I have one request."

"It better not be something—" He pulled back and covered my mouth with a hand. It was obvious I wasn't getting a choice on this request.

"I'm going with you, wherever it may be, and you can't stop me Kagome, not this time." He was bound and determined and now I was pissed off.

I stepped back my head shaking. I looked at him hard, everything I was doing I was doing for him and for Sango and for InuYasha, he was not going to come with me just to die along with me. "Absolutely not."

"Look, you can argue all you want, you're going to lose this time Kagome so tough shit." He took my arms and brushed his thumbs over my skin trying to calm me but I was in no mood to play by his rules.

"You have to let me go now Koga, you've been holding on too long, just let go." I was aggravated with myself as new tears pooled in my eyes, I hated my weakness. I couldn't stand another round of this frustration so I made my escape. I turned from him and headed in the opposite direction his office would have to do for an escape since I didn't really have any other options. I shut the door firmly behind me hoping he'd get the hint and leave me alone. I passed the desk and sat in the corner on the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my cheek on my hands.

Hours passed as my tears fell in self-pity that I wasn't proud of, but they wouldn't go away like I wanted them to, there seemed to be an endless supply of them in my body that would keep me going for days. Once the sobs died down it was quiet.

The silence was welcome, the thoughts were not. My tears finally dried up again by the time I'd run through all my 'what if' scenarios. I spent a good portion of time wondering what it'd be like to be in a superman comic, actually having InuYasha come to my rescue and save me like the damsel in distress that I was, but no I knew that was only a fairy tale. Now I was left with only one train of thought. I couldn't help wondering if it would hurt. Blown to bits, yeah it looked great on TV when it was a building, car or even the bad guy, but I had never thought I'd have to experience it first-hand.

Over the roar in my head I could hear noises coming from the lab. I silenced my thoughts to listen wondering what was going on. When I heard shouting I had to assume InuYasha was back. Then the door flew open and he was standing in the door way, his broad shoulders and big body filled the frame blocking most of the light. "Get up I'm giving you a test."

I narrowed my eyes at the command I didn't move an inch. "No."

I heard his growl but I didn't flinch, I wasn't going to back down. Not unless he gave me one hell of a good reason. "Don't make me come over there."

"If you lay a finger on me you'll regret it." Holding his eyes I made sure he understood I wasn't going to be the first to back down.

He closed the door and crossed the room in three long strides. I braced myself waiting for him to haul me up and carry me into the other room. He did neither, and that worried me more. Instead he knelt down in front of me. "You've been in here for hours sulking it's time to get down to business." When I still refused to back down his eyes locked on mine hard. "Why are you so stubborn?"

His eyes were intense, I would have looked away, looked at anything but him but I couldn't, "There's no chance for me InuYasha, but there is for you, and Sango, and the rest of this world."

His frown made him look years older, what was worse was his hand that reached out to touch me but then he stopped himself and let it drop. He pulled himself together but his feelings were still written on his face. "Kagome, there's something you should probably know, something about me and you."

I knew where this was going, I knew exactly what he was going to say, and I knew I couldn't handle his words, and I didn't want to. "Koga and I are leaving, we're going somewhere so that everyone will be safe from me, and no you can't come. I don't want you to be anywhere near me."

That warning growl was back deep in his throat, his eyes flashed red something I'd not seen happen before and it sent shivers down my spine, clearly my words had worked, but he was more stubborn than I was ready to admit. "What I have to tell you may change your mind, oh and by the way you aren't going anywhere without me."

"You have no right—" He cut me off before I could make sure he knew I was serious.

"Actually as your mate I do." He was serious. There was no way I had heard him right, surely he was imagining something.

"You are so arrogant! What do you think I am? Stupid? We definitely are not—" I had to pause before I could repeat the word. "…mates. I am not your mate."

"Yes, you are." He gave me a moment. "Kagome where I come from our mating rituals are very different from yours, each male chooses only one female and when he's chosen he marks her as his with a kiss. Since you kissed back you accepted my claim. You are mine."

The long silence that followed only made my words louder. "You tricked me!" my fingers flew to my lips. "You lied!"

"I know, I couldn't believe myself, it wasn't fair to you, but there is something about you Kagome, I couldn't stop myself, I wanted you and I didn't want someone else to take you from me." His admission shocked me into silence.

I couldn't think, couldn't find words, and I couldn't process all this information. As much as I felt cheated, I also felt like I'd won a prize, this was what I'd want if my world wasn't coming to an end. This was an unexpected happy ending that would end all too soon. I was getting myself into trouble with my next question but I couldn't help it, I was curious. "Why me?"

He laughed shocking me more. "I don't regret my choice Kagome, you are the only one I ever want to kiss again, but I'm sorry for doing that without your knowledge. I should have asked your permission." He was very matter-of-fact and he seemed a bit possessive now, like my question meant I approved.

I didn't know what to do, I should have been outraged, but I just couldn't. I didn't even know InuYasha that well but I was sitting here with him ready to accept his apology. I sure as hell didn't know why, the only thing I did know was I liked that he wanted me. I was curious about this one mate thing, I wondered if there were any stipulations. "So you've never kissed another gir—umm female?"

My stomach knotted up before I even comprehended his silence. I wasn't his first mate. And I hated that it made my heart ache. Feeling sick I turned from him. "Sorry, not my business." I didn't want to be like that but I couldn't think of anything to say and the tears were burning in the back of my throat.

"Actually it is Kagome," I was shocked a little but InuYasha always seemed to do things I didn't expect. "You are my mate, and if you wish to know then I will tell you."

"I don't want to know." It was a lie, and I'd always been so good at lying, but this time InuYasha wasn't buying it.

"You deserve to know," He paused, reached out his hand like he was asking for my permission. I took his hand and he took it to his lips. "This for our kind is like a kiss among your people." He brushed his lips over the back of her fingers and somehow she felt it all over. Her body reacted to him like ice in boiling water. She melted. "She was nothing like you, well you have similar features. She had the same dark hair, among my kind it is a sacred color. Most are born with hair like mine."

I reached up to touch my still white hair; I wished it would return to its natural color. He continued ignoring my distraction with my hair. "She was lovely, but not like you are, she didn't shine the way you do." He pressed another kiss to my fingers reassuring me and my heart fluttered at the meaning of the action.

Was it even possible that after only a few short days he was feeling these things and seeing this shine? No one else had ever mentioned this ability to me. As much as it didn't seem possible, she let him go on more curious than jealous.

"Her name was Kikyo, she was not someone I wanted. I was promised to her and her to me and neither of us wanted it. It was for the approval of the Merina—that is what our aristocracy is called—it was supposed to prove to them that I was ready to take over the race when my father would pass into the night." He waited a minute making sure I was keeping up, and when I didn't have any questions he went on. "I only kissed her once, it was the day that we were publically mated in front of the whole Merina. It was like kissing ice, she didn't kiss back so she never accepted me, but I didn't say anything knowing the dishonor she would have received had everyone known.

"She blamed me for her misfortune, and for her getting stuck with me. She despised me, I tried to make it work for my father, but she hated me. It was over quickly, after only a decade she tried to have me killed and when that failed she tried to do the job herself. She faced treason and was banished to the crystal tower. I have no idea if she still lives there or not." He brushed her fingers with his lips again "She was nothing like you." And that time as he said the words I realized they were a praise.

"InuYasha? He glanced up at me his lips hovering over hand. I shivered at the primal look in his eyes.

"What is it Kagome?" His voice vibrated in his chest sounding like a purr in his throat as he said my name, I reveled in the glory of the sound, nothing had ever sounded more beautiful to my ears than the reverence in his voiced directed at me.

I swallowed hard; I knew what I was doing right? Nope, not even close. On the other hand that look he'd given me earlier now registered in my head. He loved me. Instantly I knew what felt like the right thing to do. And that was good enough for me. "Close your eyes." I murmured and he complied instantly. I pursed my lips hesitantly I sat up and leaned closer to him, his grip on my hand tightened a bit like he sensed my closeness. "I accept." I announced the words and as his eyes snapped open I pressed my lips into his.

He reacted instantly pulling me closer, but I barely had time to relish in the feeling of his soft lips or the way he kissed with his entire body not just his mouth. The door to the lab swung open, InuYasha was clearly reluctant to part, his growl reverberating in his chest. He released me gently meeting my eyes in silent possessiveness and turned to the intrusion, he kept me completely blocked behind his big body. I couldn't see who was standing there watching.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Are you insane?" I couldn't help the relief when I heard Sango's voice. I didn't want Koga to find out quite like this, I wanted to tell him my way.

InuYasha relaxed above me and his pride was evident in his puffed up chest and even more so in his voice that shined with a smile. "Kagome accepted me."

I caught Sango's frown from around InuYasha's frame. "What do you mean?"

"Kagome is my mate." InuYasha stated clearly and proudly.

"InuYasha how could you? Kagome this isn't right! You have no idea what will happen if he changes, and if you—" Sango got cut off by a very serious growl.

"She is not going to die, so don't you dare try and take her away from me." I was starting to get confused, something didn't seem right about what was going on, and I hated not knowing why Sango wasn't happy for us. Well I could figure a few reasons, like my short life span and the fact that I was going to be gone very soon leaving InuYasha behind, and momentarily that didn't sit well with me. I questioned myself but my thoughts were stopped short, I needed to pay attention to what was going on so I wouldn't be so lost.

"InuYasha you just can't, your race needs you and if you change things could go very wrong." I saw Sango move closer trying to get to me, but InuYasha wasn't letting anyone near his new mate.

"InuYasha, what is she talking about? Why would you change?" I took his arm getting his attention.

He took my hand and placed a firm kiss on my knuckles, I heard Sango's gasp but I still didn't know what was going on, not completely. "The race has my brother, and I have what I need." His eyes were locked on mine and I almost smiled but I was still unsure.

"What is she talking about? What will happen to you when I die?" I knew he didn't like me saying it that way but he wasn't about to growl at me.

"Don't Kagome, it's too late now anyway, I've already become biologically connected." InuYasha turned to Sango and I noticed her surprise, but what did it all mean?

"It can't be true." Sango stammered coming closer looking at InuYasha's chest.

"Are you calling me a liar?" InuYasha rose to his full height and I gasped. There was something on his back that I hadn't noticed before but I could see it not glowing through his thin shirt.

"Prove it." Obviously Sango couldn't see what I could because whatever was going on under there was clearly visible. He turned giver her his back and even though she could likely see it as I had he swept the cotton up over his head and pulled his hair to the side. The mark was clear as day a small protrusion in between his shoulder blades.

"What is it?" I asked from the floor seeing the glow from the mark through his chest.

"It's my heart Kagome." Unlike hers his heart rested in the center of his chest and was glowing a brilliant orange, on his back a small ridge had formed where his spine had shifted to make room for the no longer dormant organ.

"Kagome if you die his heart will too, and then his body won't live long enough to get him home for a proper ceremony." InuYasha hissed at Sango but she didn't seem to care. "His species will die off because no one will be able to continue the royal line."

"InuYasha maybe—"

"Stay out of this Kagome," InuYasha silenced me and I would have objected but I didn't want to make my suggestion anyway. "Sango, don't worry, I have a plan, and I think I'm right. There's an easy way to confirm but I'm sure she'll be fine."

"Are you talking about the bots? Or the bomb?" Sango raised an eyebrow at him pinning him with the question.

"The bots, but don't think I won't find a way to fix the bomb issue either." InuYasha was all the confidence and determination I was lacking, and I respected the hell out of that. I even felt like I could believe he was going to achieve his goal and save me. Hope was a very alluring emotion, but I think it was the love that had me back in the game.

I stood up moving toward Sango. "You were right Sango, about what you said earlier, you were right when you said he was right, so please give him a chance. I want to live."

Sango frowned at me, likely not enjoying her words coming back to bite her in the ass. "It's not my decision but if this blows up in your face don't expect me not to say I told you so." Sango left closing the door sharply behind her and I felt my shoulders sag, I was getting tired of tears but they just kept becoming necessary.

InuYasha caught the emotion and distress and pulled me into his chest. "She's just worried about both of us, it's not that she's angry she just can't stand the fact that she may lose us both." He kept on trying to soothe me but Sango's angered face kept tormenting me. Eventually the glow of his chest distracted me enough to calm me down. I relaxed into his arms.

"Tell me that's not what I think it is." Koga's voice was incredulous as he stared at the mark that was clearly visible on InuYasha's back.

InuYasha let me go and turned to expose his glowing chest which he smugly displayed for the other male. "What do you think it is?"

"God Kagome how could you?" Koga's words were so harsh his tone ashamed and I felt the words hit me like a brick wall.

Aggression tensed in InuYasha's shoulders and in a matter of seconds he was across the room with Koga pushed against the door frame before I got the chance to compose myself. "Take it back and apologize, this is not her fault. She's been through enough she doesn't need your shit too." InuYasha growled.

"Crap, does Sango know?" Somehow even through the obvious pain that InuYasha was causing Koga was still concentrating on me.

When InuYasha put more pressure on his chest I moved forward. "InuYasha enough." Again one small touch on his shoulder gained his attention. He snapped his head around and caught my hand and after a gentle kiss over my fingers he stepped away from Koga in order to get closer to me.

"So this is what you've chosen?" Koga seemed hurt, but he was determined to make me feel ashamed, I wasn't going to back down this time, not with InuYasha beside me and my mind made up.

"Yes he is my choice, and yes Sango knows. If you want someone to complain to go find her she's just as upset. While you do that InuYasha is going to run a test, and fix me." I believed the words I said and that made it easier to walk away from Koga and go back into the lab. "So what is this test about?

"Well like Koga said earlier you should already be in pain and since you aren't I'm wondering if maybe something happened and the Nano bots got inoculated. There's a simple test we can run to see if the Nano bots are still inside you." InuYasha pulled a vial of clear liquid off the counter and found a needle in a cabinet. The nice thing about Koga's lab was everything was marked well.

"Um, that's a big needle." I watched as he gathered a few other things.

"Yeah and it's going to hurt. I'm sorry but it's necessary." InuYasha was grim not liking the idea of causing me pain any more than I was liking the idea of having that needle in my arm.

I started to roll up my sleeve giving him plenty of space and he stopped me. Looking up his look darkened. "Wait, where is that going?"

"You'll have to lie down." He walked me over to a metal operating table. "I'm sorry Kagome. I hate this."

I knew the terror on my face was obvious but I couldn't control the look. I was starting to panic, even though I trusted InuYasha I was never in the mood to play with needles. "Where?"

"Spinal tap." He barely let the words out.

I tensed up immediately. "Shit." He instructed me to lie down on my side facing away from him. "Let's get this over with I guess." I ground my teeth together my body as rigid and hard as the table I was upon.

I flinched at the cold swab of alcohol he used to clean the area he was planning on poking my flesh. He took my hand brushing his lips over my knuckles before he was quite behind me for a long moment getting the fluid and the needle ready. "Small pinch." Was the only warning I received. I clenched my jaw and held in the scream that welled up in my throat. The agony seared through my body but it was over with on final burst of stars behind my eyelids. He cleaned the entry spot with another alcohol swab and then came around to my front.

"I don't like that expression on your face." He admitted smoothing his thumb over my knitted eyebrows. "I don't like knowing I caused it." His breath was warm on my cheek and when I opened my eyes finally he gave me a warm peck on the lips. "Rest for a while, don't try moving." He turned from me and found a blanket. Draping it over my body he returned to leaning over my face.

"How long till we know?" I kept still as he advised and my body was reacting well to the itching that was shooting through my veins.

"A day or two depends on how long the dye moves through your body." He brushed my hair from my face smoothing it down my back. "You should get some rest, there was a sofa in Koga's office. Let me know when you feel comfortable enough to let me move you?"

I nodded still needing time to adjust to the itch in my skin. I wanted to scratch at my arms, legs, stomach, neck but I was afraid to move, afraid to cause myself more pain. I reached out to him when I was finally ready and he gently lifted me from the metal table, my body went limp in his arms and he carried me with ease. The couch was the softest of beds I had ever had and as I became one with the soft cushions I released a sigh. My body went lax and as I drifted off I heard InuYasha's voice. "Good night and sleep well my Kagome." There was a smile in his voice and I loved that I was going to wake up and find him still here by my side, because I knew he wouldn't leave me. Not ever.

End Chapter

AN: SO close to the end! I almost can't wait for it to happen! As much as I enjoy this story I'll be so happy to have completed this story, it will be my pride and joy! Leave me a review and as always thank you for reading =]e reahh