I clung onto his arm, pulling at the hem of his sleev with a goofy smile plastred on my face. His fierce brown orbs burned through mine as I felt my frantic breathing accelerating again. The moon was lightless with only the pale moonlight illuminating the large open space untill Shane tuened the lights on bringing the room to life.
"What do you- yyou waant Shha- Shane?" I blured out, pressing one hand against the white walls while trying to balance releasing my other hand from Shanes shirt. "Shane Gr-rray.." I giggled at myself. "I hate you. Do you know that?"
"Why the hell were you dancing with that douche?" He asked nearly angry, placing his hands on my shoulders and staring right through me.
"I uh? Me? No.....no." I shook my head, confused.
He sighed again and dropped one hand to my waist and led me to his bed where he plomped me down near the edge. "Gosh Mitchie. What were you thinking? You shouldnt have drank....." He sat down next to me. I could feel the tension in the room when he kept looking at me trying to say something but failing each time. My blury eyes watched as his lips parted several senconds and closed again, repeating the process again and again untill I started laughing like an idiot once again.
"I can't even take you home like this." He stated. In the state that he was in, he looked like he had gone through hell before he got here. His eyes were blood-shot and puffy, maybe because he was tired because of the long day he had with the concert after so long and so many rehersal to make it perfect or maye because he had been crying....I wasn't sure, and I sure wasn't in the state of asking. I was too out of it myself. "Your mom will be so dissapointed."
"Whatever..." I brushed it off, gigling again. "Why did you kiss her Shane?" I asked, somehow seriously, turning my head so that I was facing him. He seemed startled at my sudden seriousness untill I burst out laughing again, placing one hand on his soft warm cheek trying to look for an answer. "Why?" I asked again as he turned his head back straight so that he was looking at the door again, no answer on his mind or he just didn't want to answer. "Why do I wanna kiss you so much?" I laughed again, leaning closer and totally going crazy with the beautiful scent his body was letting out. He turned his head back, looking at me with shocked eyes as I practically pushed him flat on the bed, leaning closer to kiss him.
"Mitchie....wait, stop!" He practically screeched as he pushed me off of him. I sat down back in my positon feeling dejected. Maybe being drunk wasn't such a good idea.
"Why?" I asked again, nearly whispering as tears slowly flood my eyes. "You can kiss her, but you can't kiss me." I yelled this time.
"Mitchie, you're not yourself now. We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?"
"No!" I screamed, back to my senses for a split second. "She's just a bitch that's gonna leave you and you're heart's gonna be broken again. If you're back with her again then she will be the reason for breaking you again and for Connect three staying away from their music, from their fans again for another year." For being drunk, I was actually making good sense. He deserved it - all of the bitterness in my words, every inch of it. "You're gonna make your family, your brothers, and your fans suffer again, so just stop it!"
His eyes were closed as the words stabbed through him like a dagger and he stood up, standing right in front of me. For a second I was frightened by his eyes, expecting him to be angry at my words, angry at my behavious, but somehow he wasn't angry. I think he had been expecting my words from someone for a long time and I realized that he wasn't being angry he was just being distant.
"Thank's." He replied almost bitterly, looking around the room trying to find a better reply, but instead he said that he was going to find Caitlyn and see if she could take me to her place. "Don't do anything stupid when I'm gone, okay? Stay sitting where you are. I'm locking the door just in case that douche decides to come looking for you." And with that he was gone. I stared at the door with my blurry eyes for a second trying to see if he was really not here or if it was my eyes. I decided he had gone and fell on the bed again, humming aimlessly to myself. My heart beating had slowed down since I had enetered the room and I was feeling sick, and totally out of it. My head was spinning faster than the earths axis when I felt a sudden feeling of nausea hit me. My feet stumbled as I ran for the bathroom, falling several times on my way then finally and releasing the content of my stomach into the toilet. I sat down on the mrble floor, cursing Nate and wishing I had listened to Davide.
My back leaned against the tiled walls as I fisted the clothing near my stomach trying to control my breathing untill I spilled everything out again. I was surprised by how little food my stomach had stored inside wiTh only the drinkS I had drank running out like water. I could already feel tears brim my eyes as I sat there in silence.
"Mitchie?" Shane's voice called out, concerned. His voice frantically searched for me and the sound of the music coming from downstairs slowly died away with his room door closing again and the clicking sound of the lock. "Mitchie, are you here?"
I tried to speak, to call him, I really did but the words were lost in my mouth. It was like I couldnt find my voice. My lips parted for a couple of seconds and then closed again followed by a loud sigh I let our frustrated at myself. "Fuck." I muttered under my breath, and that was enough for Shane to find me.
"Oh my god, Mitchie. Are you alright?" He came rushing to my side. Well, does it look like I'm alright you tubelight? No, right? "Gosh what happened?" He asked with wide eyes. "Here, honey it will be ok..." He assured rubbing soothing circles on my back. "Are you okay?" I could tell by the tension in the atomosphere that he wasn't used to looking after people, he didn't know what to do or how to handle a drunk girl in his bathroom. He was confused himself and to add to that he looked like he had gone through a lot worse that night.
"Fuck." I breathed again, rolling my eyes to the back of my head and then closing them, trying to comfort myself although Shane's hand on my back wasn't doing such a bad job. Rivultes of sweat rolled down my forhead as I breathed in and out heavily.
"Mitchie, oh gosh." He exclaimed, leaving my side. I didn't open my eyes wondering why he left me because at that point I didn't really care. I just needed to get a hold of myself. He came back sprinting seconds later, placing his arm around my shoulder and comforting me again.
"Here, drink this." He ordered firmly, handing me a bottle of cold water I assumed he got from the mini fridge in his room.
I took it graciously and drank a sip, worried that it would be the next thing my somach decided cannot handle and the contents of that would be all over Shanes grey shirt. "How do you feel now?" He asked as I shoved the bottle in his hand and rested my tired head on his shoulder. He placed his other hand on my head, lightly patting it as I breathed in and out.
"Fuck....I'm..." I stuttered unable to find words. They had all been earsed from my mind, I was sure. "I'm uh.....I'm okay." I finally finished, my moist eyes darkening his grey shirt as I sobbed inaudibly.
"Shh Mitch, honey don't cry, please." He pleaded. "Lets get you out of this bathroom, okay? I couldn't find Caitlyn. It's too crowded in there. She's not picking her phone either....C'mon Mitchie." He said, gently holding me by my shoulders and pulling me up. "Are you sure you're okay?"
I nodded slightly as I stumbled over my own feet. His grip on me was tight and no further damage was done. Turning the bathroom light off he led me back to his bed. "I'm tired Shaney.....that's your name right? Shaney Shaney Shaney!!!" I giggled. "I wanna sleep...." I leaned back onto the bed, laying down.
He sighed and went over to his enormous closet returning with a white T-shirt and black shorts. I swear the closet was so big I could play hide and seek with Jake and Macy and get lost in there. "Put these on....You wont be able to sleep in those clothes you have on." He advised. "Do you think you can manage?"
I stared at the clothes for a while laughing at what they looked like because of my blurry vision and spinning head. His white v-necked T-shirt was nearly as famous as he was. He had worn it at an awards night along with a couple of other times I remembered seeing him wearing it in pictures over the summer. I laughed at it as I played with the soft fabric and ran my hand into one leg of the shorts wondering what the hell it was.
"Mitchie, look this way." He said, kneeling down and taking the T-shirt from my hand. I pouted as I tried snatching it from him but failed big time. "This is a T-shirt....What is it again? Tell me." He asked like I was a 3-year-old kid.
"A T-shirt."
"Yes." He smiled. "Now, what you do is you place your head through the neck and your hands though both these two holes....see them?" He asked again. I nodded. "Good, girl. Now, do you think you'll be able to manage that?"
"Of course Sean, of course I know how to wear a T-shirt, silly." I laughed.
He sighed again. "Shane, Mitchie. How much did you actually drink?" He corrected.
I shook my head like a kid again and laughed.
"Okay, and these are shorts. You put both your legs through them, okay?" He questioned. "Do you get it?"
I nodded, biting my lip trying to stop a laugh that was stuck at the end of my throught.
"I'm going to be over there, okay?" He pointed towards the window. "Not looking at you, you change here. I don't trust you alone in the bathroom. I won't look." He said, placing the clothing back on my lap and walking over to the window.
I stared at the garments for a second trying to remember what he had just said and finally stood up, buckling a little and slipped down my skinny jeans shivering slightly as the air hit my bare legs. Kicking off my jeans I successfuly put on the shorts, smiling proudly at myself. See, I wasn't a baby. I had forgotten about Shane's presence for a second while I took of my purple shirt that clung onto my body like a magnet and then the hard work started. Picking up Shane's white shirt I examined it for a second trying to remember how to wear one. It was confusing, four different places to stick your head though, I didn't know which one and ran one hand through an open hole, smiling as it slipped through perfectly. This was a piece of cake. My head was next but it wouldnt bulge from the hole I had tugged it through. It was soo small and I had placed it through the wrong place. That was the place where my hand was supposed to be not my head. "Shane..." I said in a muffled tone. "I...I can't breathe....Sha-"
"Mitchie....wha-....gosh, wait!" He came running, hesitantly taking the white piece of clothing off of me.
"I don't know how....how do you wear this T-shirt?" I asked goofily fogetting the fact that I was nearly half naked wearing only Shanes shorts and a bra.
"Oh god..."He fixed his eyes on a point somewhere at the wall behind me trying not to look at me, his breathing slightly accelerating. He awkwardly pushed my head through the neck, my hair flying all over the place and asked me to raise my hands so that he could slip them through the huge sleeves, trying never to touch me. I could feel his hands tremble slightly and laughed at him patting his soft balck hair. His sleeves nearly went all the way upto my elbows and T-shirt was big enough to be a short dress for me, his shorts reaching under my knees.
"I think thats enough for today, now Micthie. Lets get you to sleep." He said, placing his hand on the sleeve of the T-shirt I was wearing and taking me over to the bed, laying me down and pulling the comforter over me.
He sat down next to me, just staring randomly at something quietly placing his fingers on my damp hair and running them through.
"I love you, Shane. I love you, I really do, Shane." I whispered, confeeing everything to him and his finger movements suddenly stopped. I could feel his eyes on me but I couldnt look at him. I didnt want to feel dejected again. "I won't break you heart, I swear I'll never hurt you. I love you and I know that so many girls say that to you every day but I dont care because I'm not lying. Right now, I really don't care if you don't love me because I know that it's never going to happen. You're Shane Gray and I'm Mitchie. You dont love me but I do. Your smile gives me a reason to stay alive, it gives me a reason to think that there is something good to look forward to and when you speak to me, Shane....you...you dont know how you make me feel. I feel like I'm somwhere else, I'm flying high in the air or just floating on land. I don't care if you're my teacher or whatever or if you're kissing Cheryl or you forgive her...I don't care because She'll never love you the way I do, Shane. I'm not her and I can never be. I just love you and I'm sorry, but I can't stop that."
"Mitchie..." He breathed, his voice pleading me to stop.
"Before I knew you, whenever I would see a picture of you with a new girl or hear the news of you dating some famous suoermodel or singer it would break my heart. I would be miserable for days wondering why you were with her and counting down the days till you guys break up. You would be on my mind every second of the day and it would get so frustrating, Shane. I just cant explain it. I didn't want to think of you, yet thats what I would be doing every second. You would destract me from everything I would do, you had the power of making me happy and making me sad even before I knew you.....I love you that much, Shane and I know that she can never love you so much.....she just can't. I love you so much, Shane." I finished, tears running down my eyes and all the way to the tip of my nose. He was still stiff. He didn't know what to say or how to react but I didn't care because I was just glad I told him how I felt, I let him know that he was much more than just a superstar or friend or whatever, he was a part of me and along with that I also knew that I would be regretting every word of what I said that night, in the morning.
What do y'all think?
I wanted more of firece Shane, but couldn't see Shane screaming or being angry at a drunk Mitchie, you guys get me? LOL
Review please :P
Love you alll!!!!