Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock, or The Devil Wears Prada.
"No you don't, Shane.....you don't. This isn't love. You're just tempted to say it because It's what I said to you. It's what you think you feel.....you don't feel that way for me, Shane and you can't just force yourself to love someone...you can't, superstar." I nudged him, slighlty smiling, trying to lighten the mood.
"I know what I feel." He said firmly.
"You don't kiss someone one day and then go around saying I love you to someone else the next day, Shane....you don't...you don't do that."
"Look I said I'm sorry about the kiss....please just..please, Mitchie." He begged, taking my face in his hands, trying to read my eyes. He looked so beautiful. He was so beautiful, even with dark circles slowling ringing around his puffy eyes. The green in his orbs, bright and ablaze. They were so beautiful, so full of emotion that I felt like staring at them again. I felt like crying again. I laughed in between my sobs realizing that my tears had dried long ago.
"Atleast we both have something in common. You cried for her and I cried for you....we're equal kind off." I pointed out, noticing that fact.
"Mitchie please. I'm sorry....I don't care...I'm just..I'm sorry, please. I love you."
"I wanna believe your words more than you wanna believe them yourself, Shane. Trust me, but I don't because right now you're not thinking straight....you just broke up with your gilrfriend - the one that you thought you would end up marrying one day. You're very upset, Shane. You love her so much and you want to believe that she means nothing anymore, but she does because that is the reason why you were kissing her last night, because you still love her and you're afraid to admit it even to yourself. You're just trying to find refuge in me, trying to find her in me somewhere. I know you better than you can ever know yourself, Shane...I know you."
"You don't know me. I told you clearly before that I don't love her anymore...I don't....I just don't, Mitchie and no matter how much you tell me that I do, it wont change what I feel for you." His voice was so assuring, so sincier, so true that I believed him. After all, I was the girl who was running after him for so long, I was the one who was madly in love with him, I was the one who dreamt of being with him and this was my dreams coming true, but somehow it wasn't like that perfect moment I dreamt of it to be. Shane Gray told me he loved me. Shane Gray.
I hugged him. My hands wrapped around his stomach, pressing him so tightly that I wouldnt be surprised if I was suffocating him, but I didn't care because he was actually holding me in his arms. No matter how wrong it felt, it felt so right. He was so warm and comforting. He made me feel so good, so right. We sat like that, holding each other, afraid to break the silence as if one of us would dissapear if the silence was disturbed. "I love you, Shane...I don't know...I just love you." I whispered almost inaudibly in his ear, my lips slightly brushing against his earlobe and my body shuddering at the contact.
"Mitchie." He whispered carefully, losening his grip on me so that I was now no longer in his muscular arms. I was now facing him, a small smile playing on his bright pink lips. "Does this mean you forgive me?" He asked, unsure of what I would say, preparing himself for the worst.
"Just kiss me, Shane." I ordered as each hair on my body stood up. He leaned in closer to me, his body hesitant as his lips touched mine, his breath sending a tingling sensations through my whole body. I pressed into his lips as his grip around my waist got firmer. "I love you, Shane." I confessed for the millionth time, but this time it felt different. This time he felt the same too, or so I wanted to believe. "Me too, Mitchie. I love you too." He assured against my lips and I smiled into the kiss, his tounge gaining entrance into my mouth and me savouring his sweet taste. "I love you, Shane." I repeated again as our lips parted in the need of air and my head fell on his neck, my cheeks resting peacefully on his chest as his hands wrapped around my shoulders, not wanting to let me go.
Suddenly I felt better. More than better I felt alive somehow. Not like I didnt feel alive before, but now it was different. I was just so peaceful.
"I'm not giving you your clothes back." I told him, absently. "I'm gonna keep them....you know as a soviner of last night. I went to a Connect 3 party for god's sake!" I laughed.
"Do you want me to sign my shirt?" He asked mockingly. I could hear the smile in his voice which caused me to smile in turn as he threw a strand of my black hair behind my ear. "I could do that for you if you like, honey." He spoke in a husky tone against my ear and I bursted out laughing, getting away from his grip and looking at his amused face.
"Was that supposed to be seductive because it just sounded like you're so full of it, jerk." I laughed again.
"A million girls would die for that t-shirt and that t-shirt along with my signature on it would even bring the dead back alive." He said proudly.
"You sound like those annoying people from 'The Devil Wears Parda' who keep saying that line over and over again to Andrea." I let him know, watching his smile that went all the way to his beautiful eyes. They were better than I had ever seen them to be. They were honey and brown and not sure if it should show the tint of green that they held causing it to come out sharply and mix with the beautiful browns. "I really felt bad for Anne Hataway at times in that movie." I told him, mostly reminding myself and replaying parts of it in my mind. Gosh, when it first came out in DVD Caity made me watch it a whole seven times that day....I got down to some reading after the third time while she kept on munching on popcorn and soda and wished she was working at one of those fashion magazines. They give away such amazing clothes.....duh....who wouldnt want to work there although dad would never let me...haha.
"Wow, I didn't know that you had such a sympathetic heart, Mitchie." He joked again, placing his arms around my shoulders again.
"About that, Shane...." I said, looking at his arm. "Please don't tell anyone about us....." I know I'm crazy, but hear me out first, please?
"What? Why?" He asked, surprised.
I sighed. "The school is gonna either kick me or you out, plus Jus is pissed off with you and if he knows that we're together he'll probably lose it, and it would help if I didn't have all the girls around school giving me death threats...." I laughed at the thought.
"I would never let them get to you you know that right, Mitch?" He asked still trying to read my expression.
"I know I may sound really odd to you and honestly that's how I'm sounding to myself because this is all I've wanted since....since I can remember, but I know tweenies....I am one you know....I dont want to go through all of that again. It died down after a while, but still people dont see me the same anymore.....you know what I mean, Shane?" I said in a nearly whiney voice, looking at him. I bit my lip at the view I was getting from my head resting on his shoulder. He looked so kissable. He looked so good. I shook my head, trying to release the dirty thoughts in my mind.
"So, you don't want anyone to know?"
"No one....not even Nate or Caity....not even them." I told him, feeling guilty already. Caity was my best friend but she would tell Jus, I knew it. She could never keep her mouth shut and if Nate knew he would tell Caity....that I knew for sure.
"You don't wanna tell Caitlyn?" Shane asked, surprise vivid in his tone. "I thought you guys are like best friends?"
"We are, but she'll tell Justin and then he'll come over to give you a black eye or might even do that in school and then he'd be kicked out...." I explained, thinking about that situation. Who would I side? Justin was my best friend since I was in diappers and Shane was...I mean is my boyfriend. Shane is my boyfriend. Shane Gray. How surreal does that sound?
"What? I know how to defend myself, honey" He chuckled.
"Okay, then you'd be kicked out for hitting a student....either way someone would get kicked out ot hurt or whatever....so...."
"Okay....okay...I get it, honey. I get it." He laughed but somewhere I could feel a sense of sadness in there. Somewhere. "So, what are we now?"
"I don't like you, and can't see your face. That's what we are." I said, finally killing my self control and kissing his neck. It was so warm and tender exactly how I expected it to be, yet so different. He held me tighter, looking down at me and grinning wildly.
"If this is what 'I don't like you, and can't see your face' people do then, I hate you."
---
Blah blah blah. I yawned staring at the clock. 37 minutes left till the tourture called Spanish would end. gave us some work from the text book to do as she continued blabbering on in the foreign language. Me, for one didnt have a clue what on eart she was saying but I knew it had something to do with the Spanish test we had on friday. I didn't care. I wasn't even listening all I was waiting for was music which was unfortunately after English and lunch. Davide sat in the desk next to me during math, scribbling away in his notebook. I wasn't quite sure if he was actually doing some sums or finishing writing the song we had due in for music.
I, being Shane Gray's girlfriend....well, secret one anyway had completed the homework long ago. Well, not long ago...last night, actually because I knew how cranky and angry he would get when no one did the homework or no one took him seriously, even at me probably even though I am yet to see his anger towards me. I have always been a good girl you see. I always do my homework. Umm music homework so, yeah he never shouts at me.
When I came to school that day I realized that the hot topic was the Connect 3 party that happened over the weekend. Like me, many student didnt come to school on monday hence, today was thr new monday, discussing things that happened over the weekend. Tess sat behind me and I was trying not to think about her because I had to fight the erge to stop myself from bitch slapping her for what she did to me the previous week, but since we were in Spanish I had to chose my actions carefully. Who knew when Haisen's bulb would blow?
"Hey, Mitchie." I heard the nitches voice as the bell rang and half the class eloped even before Haisen could turn her back and look at us again. I guess I wasn't the only one who hated her. There were more sane species like me. Thank god. "Did you enjoy the Connect 3 concert over the weekened?"
I shook my head at her fake accent and started walking away, still resisting the erge to hit her. I wonder how her face would look with my hand imprinted on it.
"What do you want, biotch?" I finally let out when we were safely outside the class room standing by the lockers as the hallway started filling in with students and teachers making their way to the next classes.
"Ouch....that hurt, Mitchie." She pretended to be offended, putting her hand on her heart. "But I guess not as much as it will hurt you to know that Shane and I are together....he asked me to be his girlfriend after the show on sunday.." She smiled showing me her freakishly white teeth. "That's why he was late for the party, didn't you know?....I guess not." Her smile turned into a smirk as she . "Oh, he is such a good kisser...." Shae gazed into space, still smiling.
I turned pallid. I knew it.....my lips were probably white and I was probably sweating rivers because of what I had just heard.
Was Shane just playing me? Were my thoughts about not being certain about him earlier correct? Was Justin right. I didn't know, but I had to.
Thinking about it I noticed that he wasnt exactly dying of sadness when I told him to keep 'us' a secret.
Please don't hate Shane! I love him....don't hate please?
What do you guys think is happening? That could be one reason as to why he was late at the party although he already said the reason was something else to Mitchie...
Dun dhun dhun.....
Sorry to keep u guys hanging. I wont be able to update till like the 15th or 16th I have this family thing and have to be out of town for it....dont have my laptop there....and not even TV. I guess it's me and my ipod....arghhh anyway miss me.... :P And dont forget this story!
Love you alll.....