Duty's Choice: The Bastards of Ferelden

Chapter 1

Reunion and Remembrance

Highever Castle – two and a half years after the coronation of King Alistair

Alistair Theirin, King of Ferelden and Grey Warden, awoke slowly from a gloriously refreshing sleep. His eyes opened to the most exquisite sight that he'd seen since falling asleep last night, one that he had missed for two and a half years. He had no intention of pulling himself away from it anytime soon. Duty bedamned.

Elinora Cousland, Commander of the Grey for Ferelden stood at the window, staring out at the dawn that was just breaking outside. He knew that look, she was thinking, planning. It meant their rest was going to be over soon. But for now he would enjoy every moment of peace he could, which included the vision of the woman he loved wearing only his shirt.

"Come back to bed, my love," he mumbled, unable to stand not touching her any longer.

She turned to look at him, those luminous blue-green eyes drinking in her own handsome prince. The journey had been long and arduous, but she had found her way back to him. Who'd have thought they would have found a happy ending after all?

Of course, life was far from over. Maker knew what was coming next.

"It's been two days, we should probably try to leave the room today." Elinora leaned her head against the window. "I need to talk to Fergus, and I think if you're gone too long, Eamon is going to send out a search party. Or army."

Alistair whined a little and added a pout for effect. "I don't want to."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Me neither."

He smiled like a naughty child. "So let's never leave."

She returned his smile for a moment, but it faded as she crossed her arms and looked back out the window. "I wish, but we've got work to do. You need to get back to Denerim and I need to get to Amaranthine."

"Your Wardens are already there, take your time." Alistair waved a lazy hand in no particular direction.

Elinora shot him a smirk and a low chuckle. "Someone has gotten used to giving orders, I see." She sighed. "No, I need to handle it myself. I doubt they've done more than make a bigger mess of the place. These are men used to fortress life, not an estate, much less a whole Arling."

"Such a dutiful Arlessa I chose."

She turned to him and said, "If my liege," she dipped and exaggerated curtsy, "wants any taxes from Amaranthine, then I need to get to planting and put the books in order."

"Bah, your liege wants you back in bed and by his side." He flipped the blanket aside invitingly.

With a wicked grin she said, "Your majesty forgets, the Grey Wardens answer to no sovereign lord."

Alistair propped himself up on one elbow. "Oooh, listen to that sedition as you play both sides of the fence. I'm going to keep a close eye on this wily Grey Warden commander."

"If she chooses to be seen." Elinora returned to looking out the window, her thoughts returning to business. "We're going to have to work that out, what the relationship between the crown and the commander is going to be in regards to the estate. Better to set precedent…"

Elinora was unable to finish her thought. Alistair had enough of this serious talk and decided she was coming back to bed, whether her sense of duty was pulling her out of it or not. He slipped out of bed, quietly as he could and bear-hugged her from behind. With his arms tightly around her, he kissed her cheek, then threw both of them backward onto the bed. She playfully shrieked and giggled as peppered her with kisses.

What were another few hours of blissful oblivion?

Hours later, Elinora stood in what was now Fergus's study. Taking up most of the north wall was a tapestry she had known her whole life, but never taken a long, hard look at. Every noble family had one somewhere; a great scrolling length of fabric with the names and dates of everyone born or married into the family. The Couslands were an old line; there was far more fabric scrolled up in the bracket close to the ceiling than held on the lower one at her waist. In fact, the bottom bracket holding the blank fabric was running low.

Her fingers traced the newest embroidery on the great family tree. Someone had added the date of death for her parents, Oriana and little Oren. According to tradition, she should have been the one to do that, but she had been otherwise occupied. Come to think of it, she was surprised the tapestry was still here at all. Howe had taken such pride at destroying her family; surely he would have destroyed the record of it as well.

"Roan hid it," Elinora turned to find Fergus leaning against the doorframe, apparently reading her mind again, "along with a good amount of other papers. We found them in a storeroom. You remember that hideous tapestry of the Marbari in battle?"

Elinora shuttered a little. "That thing gave me nightmares. I cried until mother took it down."

"Weren't such a big, tough Warden then, huh?" he teased.

She scowled at her brother. "I was three! And what does that thing have to do with this?"

"Roan wrapped the lineage in it to hide it. He figured they would never hang anything so ugly."

"And he was right it seems." She drifted her fingers across her parent's names. "Did he survive?"

Fergus shook his head sadly. "Howe executed him after torturing anything useful out of him."

Elinora closed her eyes, trying to contain her rage and guilt. One death was not enough for Rendon Howe. "I failed everyone that night."

Her eyes opened back on her stitched name, the dead end to the Cousland line. She tried to tell herself that Fergus could remarry and have more children, and it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that she could bear a child, but it rang hollow. In thirty to fifty years, the Cousland line would be gone from Ferelden forever.

Fergus put a strong hand across her shoulders and joined her study of the tapestry. "Don't be ridiculous. One girl versus an army? You survived, which is a miracle in of itself." He wrapped his other arm around her in a protective hug. "The Maker obviously had plans for you."

She leaned back against her brother, enjoying a simple moment of safety. "Did he? Or did our parents…" The thought died on her tongue.

"What are you talking about?"

Elinora pulled herself away and ran a hand over her face. She had been looking for plots in shadows for too long. "I wonder how much it was fate that put Duncan here that night, and how much it was Mother, trying to find some purpose for me."

"What?" Fergus's shock was surprising to her. Was she the only one who didn't put much stock in coincidence?

She shrugged a little. "Could have been Father, come to think of it."

"Are you serious?"

"Fergus, think about it. Mother had introduced me to every eligible young man in Ferelden, and I would have none them. Not one was good enough. She had a spinster in the making, or Maker forefend, another foreigner married into the family."

"Mother loved Oriana!"

"She did," Elinora softened her expression, "very much. But Oriana was easy to love, and she came with a healthy dowry, trade ties and good, fresh bloodlines. I was supposed to marry locally to balance it out."

"How can you say these things?"

Elinora's gaze shifted shamefully to the floor. "Mother taught me to play the game, even though I tried to fight it. I keep wondering if they brought Duncan here so to do something honorable with their unmarriable, rebellious daughter."

"Rebellious?"

A very rueful smile played on her face. "You were busy, what with the wife and child and taking the reins of the militia from Father. I had been getting into a lot of trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

With a guilty shrug, she started ticking the list off on her fingers. "Sneaking out of the castle, drinking at the village tavern, petty theft, getting into fights…"

Fergus chuckled lowly and pulled his little sister to him, returning her to a few moments of brotherly protection. "So that's why father kept sending money to The Stag's Head. All in the past, pup. You've made up for it since."

"Teryn Cousland, I wanted to speak with you…. oh." Alistair stopped dead as he found his quarry and his love at the same time.

Fergus kissed his sister's forehead and released her. She punched him in the arm and headed for the door. "I'm going to take Finn for a run in the garden. Let you two be all manly together." She paused to kiss Alistair's cheek and headed for the kennels.

"You needed something, your majesty?"

Alistair wasn't paying attention; he was too busy watching Elinora walk away with a blissful grin on his face. Fergus pointedly cleared his throat.

"Oh, right." Alistair's attention returned to the Teryn and he nervously cleared his throat.

What could a king have to say that would make him nervous?

Finn was enjoying being home again. He was happily digging up old treasures in the garden as Elinora wandered aimlessly, thinking about the little girl who used to climb the trees here. She was grateful to see that her favorite apple tree was still there.

She was testing a branch when Alistair found her. "That does look like a good climbing tree," he commented.

With a little blush, she turned and leaned against the solid trunk. "It is, or at least was ten years ago."

The vision of little Elinora, complete with skinned knee and dirt on her nose, made him smile, but there was business to be done. "So, darling, you made me a little promise at Ostagar."

"What?" A moment's confusion gave way to remembrance. "Oh, the second time we were there, right before the Landsmeet. I made a promise."

"Yes," Alistair took a bracing breath. This was scarier than he thought. "You said you would marry me."

She smiled softly. "Yes I did. Once the Blight was over and everything was settled."

"So," he breathed a happy sigh and embraced her, "a grand royal wedding, or shall we find a little Chantry somewhere, immediate family only?"

"Alistair…"

"The people may frown upon that, though. They seem to like it when we put on a show."

"We can't." Elinora pulled away, trying to work out how to not make a complete mess of this.

Alistair's arms dropped and he took a step back. "What?"

"We can't get married."

Fury crossed his features and he took a step away from her. "Why ever not?" he demanded loudly. "I did what you asked of me and you've taken care of the Wardens. Now, its time for us!"

Her voice raised to meet his. "Anora's ashes aren't even cold yet and I am hardly done with the Wardens. We may have returned, but we're hardly established."

"So you chose the Wardens over me?"

"I…"

"Is it always duty with you? Can't you let it go, just once?" Alistair paced, unable to be still in his anger.

She stiffened. "No, I can't, and you can't either. And as for choosing? What choice is there?"

"You promised…"

"Yes, I did." Elinora put herself directly in front of him, her eyes focusing on his. "And I will fulfill that promise, just not yet."

"When?"

"When the time is right." Elinora sighed. She was sick of this too.

Alistair sat dejectedly on a bench. "What about children?"

"You already have some," she responded tartly.

"But I want one with you." He sighed and reached for her hand. "I want a thousand with you."

Elinora gripped his offered hand. "We'll be lucky if I can survive one."

"What do you mean?"

"You read that journal, didn't you? First Warden Jurgen's?"

With a guilty look he muttered, "Um…. Bits?"

She threw up her hands with a frustrated sigh. "Let me give you the short version. Thirteen pregnancies, five children survived, three of them weren't right and the two that were answered the Calling at about age thirty-five."

"Oh." Alistair stared at her and blinked a moment. "The mothers?"

"About half survived."

Alistair studied the ground. "Half."

Elinora nodded and stood next to him. "And without Hennrick's notes, there's a lot of information that we're missing. Things that could increase our chances."

He looked up at her. "So, you're willing to try?"

She took up that stoic look she got before going into battle. "Yes."

He smiled. "Good." Alistair stood and put on his kingly look. "We shall head out in the morning, take the Coastlands Road. Then you'll turn north for Amaranthine and I will head south for Denerim. Come see me as soon as possible?"

Elinora nodded. "Sounds like a plan, your majesty." She called Finn and turned back to the castle. Alistair followed. "So, was that what you wanted to talk to Fergus about? Marrying me?"

Alistair smiled slyly. "I didn't want him punching me again for being too forward with his little sister."

She stopped. "He punched you?"