Disclaimer: My name is King, I own a talking plant and lots of jam, and I do not own Death Note.
Devil's Trill
I: The Problem of Evil
CH9
Hell Hath No Fury
Air.
His entire theory of L, L killings, everything – busted.
If it wasn't for his bleeding pride that was nearly drained already, his soul hurt. God damn women. God damn them. Takada, Naomi... all of them. Female purpose was to destroy everything men had, and then chortle at them from the heavens.
Along with the lives of those she killed, Takada dragged Light's pure soul though mud. She just did as she was told, and that shredded the last respect he had for women; couldn't a woman, just for once, think for herself??!
He deserved what Takada brought on him.
What he didn't deserve was Misora Naomi. He did not ask for Misora Naomi. The only wedge that was holding him together was that out of this whole mess he got himself into, the only light at the end of the tunnel was Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki, the sadistic snob that he was, was friendly enough to help Light get though this just by being there, too bad it took Light a series of near-death experiences to realize that.
Ryuzaki was on his side. A friend... with benefits. A friend.
Fuck you Misora Naomi.
At the most desperate point of his life, he did not need the bitch to come and discredit his fragile trust in Ryuzaki.
Maybe she was right.
In spite of the complete lack of evidence, Ryuzaki might as well have turned off the lights and fucked Light into the headboard. Ryuzaki might as well had wanted to kill him in that garbage alley. Ryuzaki could've easily killed Takada between the switch of headquarters. Hell, Ryuzaki could've hired Yotsuba-L himself.
It fucking hurt.
And the thing with Takada... L...
Either he overestimated himself or greatly underestimated L... or both.
He was ashamed. Ashamed of himself, ashamed of what he'd done, ashamed of being shot down so easily, ashamed of being wrong. Ashamed of being used as a fucktoy by men, just as men would use women.
L did him, and not only was Light powerless to stop it, he allowed it. He moaned, he begged, he had a fucking orgasm in L's hand, all because of the fucking bastard. The worst part was that Light didn't mind it.
He lost. And it didn't matter if it was his life or just this round that he lost, he just lost.
And his masculinity went down with his pride.
Just like the billions of stupid, mindless women, Light allowed a man to make decisions for him.
He was no better than a woman.
A stupid, trusting woman.
...screw it.
It was a dull Sunday afternoon, and with a roar of content the gray skies released the spell of rain onto the ever-busy roads of Tokyo.
Masses of black umbrellas hurried along the wet sidewalks, giggling schoolgirls drenched to the bone gave him odd stares and grumpy old men shoved past him, mumbling to move on faster.
The rain fall and he was probably crazy to be the only one out without a coat or an umbrella, or at least holding a bag over his head and running for the nearest shelter along with his friends, or even standing proudly in a line to the newest Ryuga Hideki movie while the merciless water ran down his soaked clothes.
Instead, all Light did was move to an indefinite gray destination where nothing in particular awaited him.
The icy droplets drummed on the nearby roofs and windows, bounced off people's umbrellas, soaked into his clothes and trailed down his shivering body; nothing on him remained dry and warm anyway.
He should probably care, but instead he just slowly stalked along the sideways, his nails blue and lips quivering from the cold.
What had he done?
He'd done a bad, bad thing.
So this, along with everything else that was to come was well-deserved, and he would take the rain. He would take whatever else L did to him.
And then...
His father. He wouldn't be able to take it.
Air.
Very simple and won't show up on a toxscreen. Not commonly used as a murder weapon of choice because all it would take would be a full autopsy to prove the death was unnatural.
A shot of air into the vein via syringe; air bubbles travel along with the blood flow into the heart and cause the foramen ovale to shut and heart to stop.
Embolism.
Simple as an element of surprise, confusion, two or three days before the autopsy would come back, that's all he needed to get Ryuzaki and Takada in the same place...
But no. Police weren't stupid but air would definitely not be the first thing they would look for, so he had time, precious time...
But he was wrong. Ryuzaki Rue was Ryuzaki Rue.
And L was L, he told himself hopelessly trying to rebuild the tiny shred of trust he had in Ryuzaki before Naomi showed up.
L was brilliant; he shot him down so effortlessly like his attempt was nothing at all, nothing...
Light turned a corner and realized he was headed towards the library where exactly a week ago his life got dragged head first into this mess. He hadn't even realized where his feet were taking him until he saw his fellow students hurrying in and out of the main building as if the speed they ran at with would influence the amount of rain they would catch; the bus-stop nearby did not have a cover at all, so no matter what they did their fate to get soaked was unavoidable.
He sucked in a long breath.
Despite his mood and the weather, it was a beautiful day and air smelled delicious. It was just a January rain after all.
The real cold would probably drop down and it will snow within the next few days.
If he'd live that long.
Light licked the tip of the liquor bottle he had unoriginally hidden in a long brown paper bag before allowing the scorching liquid flow down his throat and warm him up from the inside, if just a little.
Isn't it how it all started - with cheap booze, just around this area?
"Raito-kun!"
Was he hearing things? He didn't have that much to drink, and Ryuzaki wouldn't be stalking him, especially since the freak liked to be warm, cozy and safe in his stupid penthouse with his stupid cake...
"Raito-kun, wait up!"
"Hmm?" Lazily, Light turned around to greet none other than a drenched Ryuzaki Rue in all his shabby glory. If anything, the rain flattened that messy hair of his and his beautiful pale skin could be attributed to being soaked rather than spending his entire life without sunlight... Really, he looked lovely in the rain.
"Ryuzaki, what are you doing here?" he said whimsically, stretching his vowels in a half-lazy half-indifferent manner.
"Raito-kun is soaking wet," the man avoided.
"So are you."
Ryuzaki just looked at him with noting really to say. Light really had no words either, so instead he took another sip of his poorly-disguised liquor.
"Raito-kun should not be doing that," preached Ryuzaki.
"You shouldn't be eating all that sugar either," with an eye-roll he turned back and continued towards his unknown destination.
"I shall accompany Raito-kun so he may not hurt himself in his irresponsible state."
So silently, they walked, side by side, through a near-library park.
The drops of water disturbed the even surface of the Koi Pond and the fish darted from their hiding spot under the miniature bridge when the pair passed directly above them. The sakura alley was just as beautiful as he remembered it before the incident, though the branches stood bare – whatever decided to blossom mid-January was shaken off by the heavy rain and now the walkway was littered with pink petals bathing in pools of rainwater.
Occasional unfortunate would run though the alley, hiding the books under their clothes to avoid water damage thus be charged for a new book.
Every one of those who passed them slowed down and did not regain their pace before giving them an odd look or shuddering.
"They think we are a couple," said Ryuzaki.
"They're right, sort of."
"Would Raito-kun mind if I take his hand?"
Light turned and squinted at the odd man, as if trying to size him up.
"Okay."
So Ryuzaki took his hand.
It wasn't really awkward, rather than a gesture of affection which Light knew it wasn't, it was a gesture of comfort.
Light shivered suddenly remembering the cold and looked sideways at the drenched man without even a decent shirt on. With a huff, he offered the booze to Ryuzaki which the man politely refused.
"Would Raito-kun like to tell me what is wrong?"
With a deep sigh, Light, of all things he could have done, smiled and looked up into the weeping skies.
"Nothing's wrong Ryuzaki... No, nothing at all."
"I see."
Light went to take another swig at this point but Ryuzaki caught him at his wrist, the throat of the bottle just barely touching the tip of his tongue.
"You shouldn't," he said, dropping the 'Raito-kun'.
Light jerked his restrained hand but that earned him nothing, so he let go of Ryuzaki and tried to give his hand... well, a hand.
"Don't," Ryuzaki insisted, taking the bottle at its throat and prying it away from Light's lips. "Don't," he repeated combing his hand though the wet mass of auburn hair.
Light could feel Ryuzaki's hot breath on his face and even see the smoky vapor the warm air made in nearly-freezing temperatures of rainy January.
He loved Ryuzaki's features, he honestly did. The wild wet hair clung to his porcelain-white face probably irritating his eyes and making him squint a little. If anyone paid the man a second thought after declaring him a freak of nature, surely they'd notice his fine nose, high cheekbones and amazing eyes...
So Light kissed him, in front of his native library, both hands still hugging the liquor tightly to his own chest. Ryuzaki released it and wrapped a hand around him, pulling him close in an attempt to share their non-existent body heat…
Or just hold him.
Light dropped the bottle, grabbed Ryuzaki around his neck and let out angry tears on the man's shoulder.
The rain kept falling.
"Here," said Light. Of all things to be ever found in Light's shabby apartment, cookies and jellybeans wouldn't ever make the list. Nor would cake or anything funny and western Ryuzaki would call tea.
So he should really be grateful Light had a dusty can of hot chocolate powder at the back of the dried noodles shelf.
Ryuzaki took the mug without any questions though and obediently gave Light his drenched shirt and pants.
"I have no dryer," said Light simply and threw a towel and some of his own dry clothes at the shivering half-naked thing perched up on his kitchen stool. The towel landed right on top of Ryuzaki's head, and all the man did about it was rise his eyes to try to look at it and then just left it be, contently sipping at his chocolate while pulling off his underwear with one hand.
"You have to get dry..." Light emerged from his bedroom, redressed and dry-bolting his own hair.
All that changed was that Ryuzaki was wearing his sweatpants and trying to pull a shirt on while still sipping at the chocolate.
Light sighed.
Typical.
"Come here," he ordered approaching the man and gesturing to the nearby stool, and to his surprise Ryuzaki hopped into it without any objections.
"Hmm," said Light, taking the towel and patting most of the loose water away from the older man's hair, "you really never done this by yourself before, have you?"
Quiet sipping was his reply.
"Really, you're so spoiled, you know that? Very selfish, too. I bet you were that kid always hogging the swings and no one wanted to play with you."
Enough time passed for Light to lose all hope to receive any kind of reply when Ryuzaki spoke.
"We did not have swings where I grew up."
Light carefully swept the towel across his shoulders and then around his neck, collecting the water on his way. Satisfied that there was nothing dripping, he gently started rubbing at Ryuzaki's temples and then carried on to his unruly bangs.
"Really? Don't they have swings at schools for mass murderers?"
"Hmm..."
The back of Ryuzaki's head was where the hair was cut the worst. Ah well. Light put his hand on top of his head to steady him and massage circles into the scalp, carefully drying it to avoid any more tangled locks. Ryuzaki leaned back into the touch, and Light noticed in the reflection of the toaster that the man's eyes drifted shut.
"No? Well what did they have there?"
It was dry enough to be manageable and Light pulled out a comb discreetly trucked into the back of his pants. Ryuzaki tilted his head further back and the second Light sank the spikes of the brush into his hair, the man gave a little disturbed hiss. Eventually though, Light coaxed him back into a relaxed state by scraping the brush over what he assumed were sensitive spots on the man's head.
Really, he'd never seen so many knots in one head.
"Books, mostly," came Ryuzaki's delayed reply.
"Books, huh?"
The brush was deemed useless and Light tried combing it with his hands, fingernails scraping at the man's temples and thumbs drawing tiny circles at the nape of his neck...
Ryuzaki half-purred.
"You're adorable, you know that?" asked Light, lazily massaging behind the man's ears.
"And Raito-kun is drop-dead gorgeous."
"Is that all?"
The effort required to reach out and stop Light's hands was probably huge for Ryuzaki, and yet he'd done it anyway. The boy watched the pale white fingers lacing with his own and for once, he didn't really mind.
"Raito-kun is insanely smart, too."
"Oh?"
"And a little evil, but that is alright."
"Really now?"
They made it to the bed somehow and Light collapsed backwards under Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki was kissing him, but kissing him differently, not like last time at all.
Just differently. Like... like kissing him was actually important, like Light was actually important, and like what they were doing, all of it, was somehow significant in this big unfair world.
Ryuzaki is important too, Light figured and gently fisted the black locks and held onto Ryuzaki's shoulder as the man lifted him only to lay him back down, only shirtless.
"What?" he murmured when Ryuzaki stopped and gave him an admiring, shameless stare.
"Nothing, Raito-kun. No... nothing at all," he descended on Light's lips again, smooching at the corners at first and then all the way across his bottom lip before trailing his warm tongue down his chin and onto his neck, sucking at the pulse and then trailing lower...
Light tagged at Ryuzaki's shirt and pulled it off completely when the man stopped his assault just for that purpose.
"Nnh..." Light held onto the man's shoulder even tighter when he felt that delicious warm tongue flap into the curve of his ear and teeth scrape against the sensitive lobe. The flat of Ryuzaki's palm traveled from his neck down his chest and two fingers pinched his nipple, and Light made another tiny noise, bent his knees and let Ryuzaki settle comfortably in between.
"Oh, mm..." hot wetness engulfed his nipple and Light threw his head back and tugged at the fisted hair, "don't b-bite..."
Ryuzaki obeyed and moved on to the other one, and it was all lovely and pleasant but Light pushed him back and sat up, and before Ryuzaki gave him one of his odd questioning looks, Light took his head into his hands and kissed him.
"Well then," came a low chuckle and they both fell back into the sheets. A hand went around Light's waist and they were grinding against each other, their half-aroused members rubbing uncomfortably though the fabric of their clothes.
"Aah..." Ryuzaki captured that moan with his lips and pulled Light's leg around himself tighter, and Light actually bent as far as he could to not lose the position and plant a few kisses across the pale chest...
One hand left the hair and Light himself, curiously trailed one finger down Ryuzaki's upper body to the lower belly hair and then hooked it around the waistband of the man's pants and looked up. Ryuzaki smiled and took that hand with his own and guided it down into his own pants, and...
"Oh." Light's cheeks grew hot, his fingertips touching something very inappropriate.
"That was inside of you," Ryuzaki said and tipped Light's chin with his free hand and smacked the boy on the lips.
Right. He closed his eyes and laid his head on the pale shoulder.
His fingertips trailed down the hidden length and around the tip, circling the head curiously. He'd done this before. To himself though, but he'd done this. Nothing new. Carefully, he closed his first around the rapidly stiffening organ and gave it a small jerk and Ryuzaki's grip on his waist tightened.
Like that, don't you?
Light was getting aroused just by doing this, so Ryuzaki took the initiative to remove their remaining clothes, careful not to disturb Light's hand too much.
By this point though, Light got brave and was pumping the man at a steady, slow rhythm. Ryuzaki's erection was standing and Light thought he could get away with it until Ryuzaki bucked his hips into his hand, tiny droplets of pre-cum sipping though the slit already.
Hot.
Actually, it'll be a lot easier if...
Nope, no such luck.
He was suddenly grabbed by the waist and tossed onto his back, his hand losing contact with Ryuzaki and his legs bent in a way that gave the man now on top of him a rather inappropriate view.
Maybe it was the alcohol that still hadn't left his system, but Light was blushing again. He hadn't realized just how aroused he was; his skin was flushed, hot and sweaty and his neglected erection was complete and throbbing. No wonder Ryuzaki wanted...
"Hnn!" oh yes, damn that bastard for knowing Light's body... Cold fingers gently massaged his sack as the other hand grabbed tightly at the base, both stopping the very important blood flow and making him arch his back in painful pleasure.
"Ahh..."
"Lubricant?"
"T-table..."
Light lifted his head to see what was happening and he watched the tube of lube pulled out of the bedside drawer and generously squirt its contents into Ryuzaki's palm.
"Nnn..." he flinched when the cool finger traced the circle of his puckered entrance... Ryuzaki leaned in to kiss him and Light willingly parted his lips to allow entrance of his tongue just when the finger slipped inside of him, slowly...
It was always an odd feeling; a feeling of 'that doesn't belong there', but right after the initial intrusion it was fine, just because Ryuzaki did it in a massage-like manner rather than anything else.
Light relaxed enough for the second and third fingers to enter him, at the same time...
"Ow, hnnn," he both complained and moaned as he was almost painfully stretched on the inside and jerked off particularly hard.
In, out, expanding, stretching, oh that was definitely a bad place to do it in... oh, that, ahh...
"Is it alright yet?" Ryuzaki huskily whispered into Light's ear, impatient. Light tangled his fingers into the black locks and waited a little more before giving him the go-ahead.
The digits that were warmed up by his insides a little drew out and Ryuzaki prodded the hard, silky head of his member right at his entrance.
"Ready?" he asked, and Light was sure he felt pre-cum caress his opened entrance and tickle down...
Light grabbed onto the man's shoulders furiously and nodded, and just as Ryuzaki was about to thrust into him, he whispered, "slow, please..." and buried his head into the cold shoulder in anticipation.
"...alright," was all the man said.
It probably took him all the self-restraint he was capable of to enter Light slowly instead of in one hard thrust, but Ryuzaki did what Light asked.
"Oooh..." Light screwed his eyes shut and sank his teeth into Ryuzaki's shoulder. That still fucking... hurt... Slow, burning pain shot up his spine, and all he really could do was take it and try- try his best not to clench his inner muscles against the enormous intrusion... It started to burn.
"Tight..." hissed Ryuzaki, slowly sinking into him.
Shit, he was wrong. A quick thrust was much better, oww... Ryuzaki passed the first ring of muscles, but the friction was still hot and there was a much longer way to go. He tried to contain the noises of pain but he really, really couldn't.
He let out a tiny squeal and Ryuzaki stopped inside of him altogether, jerking him off in the most pleasurable way, but that blocked no pain.
"Your lubricant sucks," he said, half groaning.
"It's... for girls..."
A chuckle, a kiss, a hard jerk.
"Want me to pull... out and... work you open some... more?"
"It's fine," Light held onto the man on top of him tighter, "it's going away now."
Half-lie, but it was getting better.
A few moments of adjusting and Ryuzaki thrust in completely in one sudden push, and all Light did was yelp in surprise.
"It's better... this way… yes?"
"But I thought..."
"Shh..."
And it was on again, and Ryuzaki pulled out no more then an inch and then squeezed back in between his tight walls slowly, and as soon as Light adjusted to that, the bastard changed the angle...
"Ah!"
"That's right."
In, out, on with it, deeper, deeper, faster...
"Haa… ahh… Nnn!" Light dug his fingernails into Ryuzaki's back, drawing blood as the man's member grinded against his prostate in the most agonizingly pleasing way...
"Ahh... y-yes..."
"More?"
"Y-ye.."
White liquid was trailing down Ryuzaki's hand as he stroked and pumped Light at a faster phase, and god damn him if Light would beg...
It was... too slow, too shallow, he arched his back and let go of Ryuzaki's back only to twist in the sheets and grab at the pillow behind his head.
It was too wonderful, too much...
"Hnn," groaned the man on top of him and grabbed his hips, lifted and slammed into him hard.
"F-fuck-"
At this rate, he was going to... now...
"R-ryu—ah, I'm go-"
"It's... okay, come... it's al-alright..." came a broken whisper from somewhere above and his head was being petted and kissed soothingly...
Fireworks burst in front of Light's eyes and he exploded at the peak of his orgasm, spilling hot semen onto Ryuzaki's hand and stomach. He collapsed back into the sheets and felt Ryuzaki give a few more uneven thrusts and a hot stream of liquid shot into him angrily...
Ryuzaki collapsed on top of him, somehow managing to keep most of his weight off Light to allow breathing room that they both desperately needed.
"…wow," panted Light.
"Yes," said Ryuzaki.
It took a few minutes for Light to realize Ryuzaki was still inside of him, his member slowly softening but not quite fast enough to keep the dull pain from coming back.
"Hmm," Light nudged him with his knee, hoping he'd get the hint.
"Not yet," Ryuzaki said, moving sideways but still keeping them joined.
"What, again?"
"Yes again, unless-"
"No, okay," Light interrupted, pulling up as much as he could, but Ryuzaki caught him around the waist and rolled them so that he was straddling the man.
"Cowgirl-style?" he raised an eyebrow, still lying on top of Ryuzaki rather then getting up. He was sort of tired.
"I'll help you," said Ryuzaki and sat up and Light hissed at the sudden angle change.
"Hang on," he ordered and Light obeyed since the bastard probably knew better anyway, god damn him, and then he realized he was impaled on Ryuzaki's member. It felt a lot different then just lying down, and the whole notion was getting him hard again, and Ryuzaki's hand that was caressing his member didn't really help...
Oh.
And oh again.
"H-hey, why..."
"Because I'm not… back up yet. I'm …softer and smaller... is this better?"
"Mmm... yes, a lot...oh."
"Good, I'll keep this in mind," Ryuzaki smirked and lifted him up and brought him back down, his member hardening right inside Light, his passage stretched already and slickened by the spilled semen.
Light really didn't do anything, just sat there and tried to help as much as he could because in theory, this was the position where he would take control, but really he was tired, and Ryuzaki was doing a damn good job of angling his hips so that that sweet bundle of nerves would be hit every one of those times, and before long the room was filled with tiny moans and cracking of Light's cheap mattress.
Their phase sped up and he threw his head back, shameless moans escaping his gaping mouth, pleasure high and this time neither lasted long.
Light screamed in ecstasy as Ryuzaki's seed shot right against his prostate and came himself, collapsing to the side.
When the man finally pulled out of him, it felt off and a little empty. Semen that had nowhere else to go sipped out of him, tickled down his thighs and made a lovely pool in the middle of his sheets.
Exhausted, his head lolled to the side towards where Ryuzaki was still panting.
Poor thing, did all that by himself...
"H-hey..!" he managed tiredly, not able to raise his volume very high, "what are you doing?" he bucked out of the invading fingers that were pushing inside of him again.
"Hey, what? I can't, go away..."
Hours turned into days.
"Yeah, but bullet train? You, seriously?"
Ryuzaki said nothing and shuffled his old tennis shoe-clad feet though the parting masses as people stepped aside to let him pass, and stared. Light shrugged and followed.
Ryuzaki looked sour, just like he'd looked that morning after Light refused to take the tea the man offered him, mostly because he saw him dump about half a pound of sugar into the cup. Light rejected the tea, Ryuzaki took it as a rejection of his efforts. The sour look had yet to leave the man's face.
In other words, despite his expectations of what Ryuzaki might behave like in public, Ryuzaki acted pretty normal, that is normal for being Ryuzaki. He shuffled, rolled his eyes and stared at peculiar people as they passed and they in turn stared at him, and as far as conversations with strangers went Ryuzaki was civil.
Light imagined that if he could convince the bastard to rethink his wardrobe and reacquaint him with a hairbrush, he could very well take him to any public place and pass him up as a normal non-sugar dependant respectable person who wore shoes on regular basis.
"Oh! You-!" a blonde overdressed American woman saw Ryuzaki and out of two-hundred something other people on the station, she apparently figured a sleep-deprived hermit-man in old, worn jeans would be able to help her better than anyone else, so she left her confused blonde gangster-looking partner to deal with the conductor he was trying to question, "…anata-something… you… uh… shinkansen?" she said hopefully.
Ryuzaki didn't even blink.
"This is a bullet train station," he said in British English, "Which train do you need?"
"The Yamata one."
"The Yamagata train. You are at the wrong station."
"Oh?"
"Go upstairs and left. Ask at the JR counter, they can help you."
And Ryuzaki disappeared into the crowd before the woman could ask anything else, and it took Light a full minute to find him near a sweets bar.
"You're British," Light said after Ryuzaki acknowledged his existence and went back to stare at cutely-shaped cream-puffs.
"Yes," he dismissed and gave the counter girl a look that said she should reach for the box, no, he wouldn't like a bag. "That one, and that one, and the orange one too. And that square one for my friend."
"I don't want one."
"And that square one of myself, then."
"Jerk."
A few animal-shaped palm-sized cream cookies after, Ryuzaki pulled out a few notes from his back pocket and gave them to the girl, shoved change into the same pocket and shuffled on towards the trains.
"You don't even carry a wallet."
"Indeed," he said and pulled out his first cookie. They walked in silence, Ryuzaki somehow miraculously slipping though people without having the sweet knocked out of his hand, and Light thought that would be the end of their conversation until realized what the bastard did.
"You rented a train?" he hissed.
"Just a compartment, Raito-kun. There is no need to worry, this train is still a public one," and Light realized the bastard actually wanted to buy the damn train, but Watari probably stopped him.
"You're unbelievable-!" but before he could go on, Ryuzaki grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him inside of the rented train.
"Damn you!" he groaned at the empty wagon, "Honestly, who do you think you are?"
"Ryuzaki Rue."
"Right," Light rolled his eyes and purposely sat two rows away from the damn bastard, and Ryuzaki didn't look like he minded.
Fine, if that's the way it was than fine.
Light folded his arms across his chest and grit his teeth.
Whatever, fuck him.
They were on a Nazomi train, and if it was in fact still a public train, Nazomi trains only did major stops, which meant they were not going to Odawara or Otami because the first major stop of a Nazomi train was Shizuoka, and Shizuoka was a hellofa way away from Chiba or Tokyo for that matter. Light was getting anxious, and the train hadn't even left yet.
He should've really told somebody where he was going, especially who he was going with. If he would turn up dead in Shizuoka tomorrow, at least they'd realize Ryuzaki was L.
Or wasn't.
"Ryuzaki, where are we going?" he said for the nth time that morning trying to sound annoyed rather than slightly nervous.
A conductor came in, wished them a good trip and left with a promise of food and sweets should they want any. The train left the station.
Light was still waiting for his answer for good ten minutes of quiet munching.
"I was born in London," Ryuzaki told him warily as if he was afraid that Light would take his words and stab him with them.
Light understood.
"I accidentally killed our pet cat," Light said over the distance between them, "Dad never figured out it was me."
The sounds of sugar being crushed between teeth bounced off the train walls.
"I lived at an orphanage."
"I accidentally killed Sayu's gerbil, too."
"Raito-kun isn't very good with pets, is he?"
"It's your turn," Light demanded.
"I am significantly older than Raito-kun."
"By how much?"
"I will not tell."
"Alright. I slept with my student-teacher."
Ryuzaki tried to hide his snickering by wolfing down another cookie.
"Shut up, she was hot."
"I have a nasty habit of sleeping with my associates."
"No shit," Light rolled his eyes and Ryuzaki leaned over a row of seats and offered him a cookie, "you aren't doing Matsuda, are you?"
"No."
"Well, good. I... once, I had four girlfriends. Don't ask how I got out of that one."
"With evil wit, no doubt."
Light laughed.
"I am afraid of... hmm, I am afraid of pens. They have a tendency to stab me if they reside in Raito-kun's hand."
Light considered this for a few moments, and the mood in the cabin dropped. Ryuzaki purposely led him to this. He sighed.
"I am terrified of L," he confessed.
"I know," said Ryuzaki quietly and started on Light's square cake piece.
"Are you L?"
"No," the words came from between the cake and Light believed him.
"Then what's this all about?"
"Raito-kun needs spiritual cleansing, and since he refuses to see a therapist regarding his predicament with L, he left me with no alternatives but to take him to Chugoku."
Light choked on air.
"To Chugoku?!! That's across the country! Literally across the country! Are you crazy?"
"I appreciate Japan's technology. It will take under five hours to get to Chugoku and two to get to our destination."
"What the hell is in Chugoku that isn't in Kanto?"
"Spiritual cleansing."
Before Ryuzaki could do anything about it, Light hopped the tall rows of plush chairs and implanted this fist into Ryuzaki's plush face. His knuckles connected to the bony cheek with a dull crunch, and if it wasn't for the faint whistling of the bullet train slicing though air, Light would've compared the weight of the air to lead. Ryuzaki's head smacked against the headrest and recoiled.
All stilled and the unblinking stare of round eyes made the illusion of the still time even more credible; Light had to withdraw his arm slowly just to reassure himself that the space and time didn't cave in on him.
Ryuzaki's tender cheek lit up like a stop sign and Light's knuckles reddened as well.
"Raito-kun has hit me," Ryuzaki deadpanned in disbelief and Light blinked in disbelief as well.
He had hit the bastard, and it wasn't like stabbing him with a pen on throwing insults, it was like throwing a punch and hitting the mark, and the delicious pain in his knuckles was nothing compared to the realization that he hurt Ryuzaki, totally unprovoked.
He dared to smack him in the face, and it wasn't a girly smack either but a full-blown punch of the serving hand of a trained teensiest. Ryuzaki's face must be burning, and the sadistic note somewhere in Light's lower gut quivered at the pleasant thought.
He wanted to hit him again, and he didn't really care if there was or wasn't a real reason for it, he just wanted...
When Light blinked and opened his eyes again, Ryuzaki wasn't splattered in his seat anymore and a foot that came seemingly out of nowhere sent him tripping backwards. His back hit the armrest but the isles were wide and he didn't split his head on chair. For a few moments, Light just lay with his head rested uncomfortably against the iron fixture of a seat and wondered just how much of this they could do without leaving visible damage or killing each other.
From the corner of his eye, he saw a red smudge on his otherwise crisp dress shirt and stared up from the ground at Ryuzaki who now hovered over him in fake concern.
The bastard knew exactly how much force he'd put in that kick, so it was fair game. Light made a gesture for Ryuzaki to help him up, successfully got him distracted, and the delicious smack of his closed fist against Ryuzaki's soft belly sent the man flying backwards.
He was up on his feet before the black and white blur even connected to the ground and was charging forward. But what Ryuzaki did was the weirdest, most hilarious thing Light'd ever seen a grown man do. He caught himself with an arm, flipped backwards and on his side somehow using his feet and ended up in a purely animalistic position on the ground, something that looked like a three-legged sumo wrestler but much more... dangerous, cat-like.
"What- the hell- is that?" Light said, panting. The thing looked so stupid that Light even stopped and wiped the blood oozing from his split lip with his sleeve instead of kicking the man.
"Capoeira," Ryuzaki deadpanned evenly and suddenly he wasn't on the ground anymore, and again Light caught a mouthful of foot.
Fucking... fast...
Light aimed to sack, but Ryuzaki cleverly avoided Light's knee and the man's hip let out a rather crunchy cry.
Ryuzaki jumped a few feet back and with another idiotic ballerina-like manoeuvre knocked the air out of Light's chest.
"Eye for an eye, Raito-kun."
"Right," Light caught his breath and went for Ryuzaki's kneecaps.
---
Light never said a word as the rather expensive car with a foreign mark he couldn't recognize and a price tag he couldn't image drove though less populated and more rural parts of Japan, and Ryuzaki couldn't be bothered to start a conversation.
He'd never been to Chugoku.
No, he never wanted to go.
When they arrived to a place that looked so old and empty that people here looked old and empty too, Light was eager to leave the car only by so much.
The town of Tsuwano was somewhere god-knows-where in Chugoku. It was small and old and the air of the town was stale with old.
"Ryuzaki-"
"Raito-kun shouldn't worry. We can go for lunch later, for now I'd like him to confess on an empty stomach."
Light nearly froze.
Ryuzaki couldn't know, he...
"Confess?"
"Yes, it's close by now. I was afraid to get discouraged by Raito-kun's excuses should I have told him sooner," Ryuzaki made a face.
"...I'm still listening."
They were walking though lightly wooded areas on a cemented path, and Light imagined that if they'd come there any later, it would be too dark to see much.
"I... have a very good acquaintance. This... acquaintance of mine is a good catholic."
"You have a catholic friend."
"Of sorts. He and I travel a lot, and occasionally we would run into each other, and... Raito-kun needs to understand this; he is a very good catholic. Confessing sinful deeds and thoughts and such. I will dismiss the fact that he confesses same sinful deeds and thoughts to his therapist, but for the sake of Raito-kun's sanity, I decided to take his approach on the matter. He told me on numerous occasions that confessing to a priest is spiritually healing."
"You don't even know what 'spiritual' means."
"I won't say that I do, but for the sake of his sanity and mine, Raito-kun will go to the priest and confess to him. Disguise L as a school rival if you will. Tell the priest you are afraid."
"Seriously."
"Yes. My good catholic acquaintance insists this helps."
"Are you sleeping with this good catholic friend of yours?"
Ryuzaki visibly cringed, his eye twitched lightly and his lips curled inward.
"Absolutely not," he muttered, apparently horrified by the notion and Light figured this was as truthful as Ryuzaki would ever get.
"Here."
"This is the only place in whole Japan that he will go to."
Light didn't protest. He'd given up any attempts to talk reason into Ryuzaki after the tea. There were churches and other such establishments closer, but if Ryuzaki wanted to drag him around churches in the middle of forests in some old town of Nowhere, to hell with him.
"Ryuzaki, for this, you're smothering me with loving care tonight," he ordered.
"Make sure you confess those sinful thoughts also, Raito-kun."
The Chapel of Saint Maria was a tiny, old structure and it fit well with the whole aura of the town. It was secluded and inviting as Light supposed churches should be, and though the smell of old wood and lightly peeling paint did nothing in any way to amplify the glory of Saint Maria or her Chapel, it felt godly and peaceful nerveless. Something holy and spirited lurked in the bushes and even the priest who looked like he had nothing to do with the chapel looked almost blessed.
When Light looked behind to find no Ryuzaki trailing him, he felt odd. He was alone in the quickly darkening clearing in the middle of very fine forest, with a man he knew nothing of but was supposed to trust, and his last link to home, busy and overcrowded home world, hid away somewhere between the young trees.
Light did not understand why of all questions he could've asked Ryuzaki, a question of 'well, how exactly am I supposed to do this' never popped up.
It was just so awkward and despite having no respect for religion whatsoever the eyes of the old priest compelled him to come towards the chapel.
Light didn't know what to do.
"Hello, son," the man said and Light felt so overwhelmed he had to look away. He didn't understand it, none of it. He stared at the ground.
"Hello, father," Light muttered to the ground. For the first time in his life he couldn't gather himself to charm a person, and it was because this person was the priest. Light was never a moral person and if he could be his own judge, he'd even put himself in terms of a righteous man with morals that of above common folk's understanding.
"You have never done this before, have you, son?" the priest laughed pleasantly and Light became even more disturbed and uncomfortable.
"Forgive me father for I have sinned," Light rattled to the ground again, and the priest laughed again, this time with a note of preaching.
"Go on, son," he said, apparently giving up on getting Light to do this formally.
He should've prepared for this, god damn Ryuzaki for not telling him until last possible second. Damn him.
"I have sinful thoughts of torturing my best friend," Light told the ground.
The priest preached the common load of love-thy-neighbor bull.
Light told him he was afraid.
Priest told him that God was with him.
That didn't help.
Light told him he'd used people.
What priest told him on that matter didn't help any, either.
So Light told him he was having an affair with a person he really shouldn't be having an affair with.
The priest told him to seek forgiveness from all those he had wronged with doing so.
Light told him that the person he wronged most was the person he was having an affair with.
The priest said nothing.
Light told him the reason he started having an affair with this person. He wanted to take this person down.
The priest told him to come clean.
Light said that the person already knew this.
"She is forgiving, son," said the priest. "You are blessed to be loved by her. You must put more faith into God and people, her heart is good."
Okay, so maybe Light did lie a little bit.
"So I should trust her?"
"You should put your faith into the Lord, my son. Put your faith into the Lord and His children."
And it was there inside of a small Chapel with six benches and an old wooden altar that Light realized he trusted Ryuzaki completely.
He didn't know what happened when the priest left him alone inside to pray. The polished wood of the altar panel shone dimly in artificial light and the rough stained mosaic windows played with color along the white walls as the sun set.
Delicate sounds of the forest worrying over wind rustled though the floor and light steps of the bribed priest echoed in the distance.
For at least half an hour or so, there was nothing. Light was nowhere where nothing existed and all minds of all people were poured into a viscous mass on incoherent thoughts, and Light was aware of every one of them, thousands, millions, all worrying and thinking and worrying and thinking. There were good people, and there were bad ones, and though Light didn't see them, he heard their minds. Nameless, faceless, they uttered profanities and evils and Light learned their awful intentions, if only for a few precious minutes. They were evil; he could judge them because he could hear their evil minds.
Light felt like God.