I woke up to a sore feeling all over my body. I fell asleep right after Shane left not even bothering for moms soup. I somehow knew that she had heard everything that happened inside my room that night, eavesdropping on the other side of the door. Not that she mentioned anything to me. I found Caity nuzzled up next to me when I woke up in the morning. Correction. I woke up somewhere in the middle of the afternoon actually with no feeling of tiredness in my body but only pain.
Caity stirred in her sleep and shot her eyes open when she felt me move.
"Yo!" She exclaimed.
Only Caity could be so high after waking up from a deep slumber. I couldnt help but laugh through my blurry eyes.
"Yo." I replied back, trying to sit straight on my bed.
"Here, let me help you." She offered.
"I'm fine.." I assured. I wasn't really feeling much from any of the two wounds, just the balck and purple bruises I would be saying hello to in front of the mirror were my priblem. I knew they were occupying every inch of my body, just by my mere movement.
"I skipped school.." Caity said absentmindedly, looking out of my window. Not actually looking out because the curtains were still done but just gazing that way. "...you know, me being my awesome self and all. And plus, how could I miss the opportunity of shit talking guys? You wanna talk about it?"
I yawned and then felt a bitter feeling overtake me at the mention of guys. Shane. Bastard. The worst species in the world. Guys.
Okay, maybe not the worst species in the world but yeah they were pretty bad.
"When did you come here?" I asked, not replying to her question.
"Umm.." Caity grinned, wrapping on arm around the back of my shoulder and resting her head on me. "Last night actually..OHHmygod! Sorry sorry sorry! Did I hurt you? Sorry!" She exclaimed again, worried as she watched me rub the top of the bandage at the back of my neck where her hand was.
"No.." I laughed at her expression, wrapping my own bandaged arm around her waist. "I'm good now fowl done. What time is it by the way?"
"Umm four-ish I think."
"Damn..we overslept big time. Why didn't you wake me, whore?"
"I was sleeping the whole time with you, you dumb-ass hoe." She laughed at my sentence. "And where the hell do you think you're going?" She asked, watching me remove the covers from over me and step out of bed.
"You see this?" I questioned, dramatically waving up and down my body. "I need to check it out. See, if any further damage needs to be done." I joked.
"Don't you ever think about it.." She warned, getting out of the bed herself.
"Joking..." I elaborated, amused that she took it seriously. "You know me too well to know that I would never hurt myself over a guy."
"I know.." She smiled weakly. "So you check your shit out and I'll tell get the Ben & Jerry's and tell your parents you're awake. They'll be relieved, they were worried about you last night. After that, how about some Mean Girls?"
"Sounds like a awesome plan to me." I agreed entering my bathroom.
"Good. Now call me if you need anything. I'm downstairs."
"Yeah yeah.." I yelled from inside the bathroom and then walked over to the door peeking out to find Caity still in my room, waiting for me to close the door I guess. I smiled at her. "I'm fine."
"I believe you." She replied.
We started at each other for a whole ten seconds I think, both of us trying to catch the others lie. "Shane sent you here didn't he?" I finally asked. I knew he had sent her. He must have thought I'd be so devestated and heart broken I would try and kill myself over him, so he sent Caity to look after me. Shane, you think to highly of yourself. You're not worth me hurting for. You're not worth it.
"He did." Caity gave in.
I nodded, waving her away and found myself muttering "The bastard, Shane."
-X-
The bruises werent so bad. The purple could hardly be seen but I knew the colour would only grow deep with time. Caity and I spent the whole day in my room watching movies and eating ice-cream. I tried my best to keep my mind away from Shane and the happenings of the previous night, but somehow everything would remind me of him. I hadn't cried and I hadn't planned on it either. I don't cry. Not over boys and anyway, I had done my fair share of crying over him before so no tears for me now. I wished I would cry though. I just wanted to get rid of the sick feeling at the bottom of my gut with the tears. They never threatened to come out and I didn't push them either.
Shane didnt call, not that I wanted to talk to him, but I just expected him to call me.
Who am I kidding? I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to argue with him and fight with him. I wanted to bring his shit of a brain back down to earth. I didn't want us to be over like this. Not over her. But who the fuck am I to say this? I'm the one who broke it off even if he did say he wanted a break. Dont breaks mean 'Not getting back together' and 'Sick of each other'? He was the one who brought it on. He's supposed to be my boyfriend. I just wished he acted like it.
I didnt need him. So what if he was a rockstar or a celebrity. If you are not true to who you are and who you claim to be at the end of the day nothing really matters.
"Hey, whats going on here?" Nate smiled as he warily entered my bedroom.
"Nothing much. I was asking your girlfriend if she'd go lesbian with me since your brother is such a loser and we're better off without guys." I replied, scooting up on the bed so that Caity could move closer to me and Nate would have some place to sit at.
"Oh you can take her!" Nate joked causing Caity to hit him on the chest.
I shook my head, laughing at them. "Nah I dont think a long distance relationship with me work. You keep her."
"Her, is still in the room y'all!" Caity exclaimed waving her hands in the air.
Me and Nate burst out laughing.
"Why? Where are you going?" Nate asked, referring to my answer.
"New York." I stated. "With mom tomorrow morning. She has to be there for a couple of weeks since her new book is gonna come out during Christmas or something and theres only one more week till schools out for Christmas and New Years and anyway I cant go to school like this." I said pointing towards myself.
"You just want a reason to miss school. Who am I gonna hang out with now and whos gonna walk with me to the classes?" Nate argued.
"Richard. I'm so glad he isnt coming with me to New York. You keep him too. I mean, the dude is nice and all but its like a pain in the ass to have someone follow you around every single place you go in the world. How do you guys do it?"
Nate shrugged. "I guess we're just used to it."
I nodded and focused my attention back to the movie we were watching. My bottom felt sore from sitting on it the whole day not to mention my whole body was sore anyway because Cheryl and I decided to play WWE yesterday. I needed to get up and walk around for a while but I was too lazy for that. I knew mom was taking me to New York to keep me away from Shane. Not that she needed to because he was going to be in LA in a few days and it wasn't like I was planning on speaking to him anytime soon. And I thought maybe New York would be good. Maybe a change would make me feel better. Anything was better than the half complete feeling I was going through at the moment.
"You dont have to run away from Shane you know?" Nate decided to let me know as the end credits of the movie started rolling.
I got excited for a mere second at the mention of his name and I shouldn't have. I shouldn't even be thinking of him but everything just seemed to come down to him. I know I sound pathetic. I do to myself and its ridiculous how even after going away from my life I'm letting a guy dominate my thoughts. "I'm not running away from anything." I defended.
"Really? Then please explain to me what you're gonna be doing in New York. You dont know anyone there, you dont have anything to do and you're not too well. Your mom is gonna be out all day because of work and you're gonna be alone at home, so please tell me why you're running away to New York because the reason you have must be very exciting." Nate suddenly threw at me. It was like he was reciting a long poem without any punctuation because he said it all in one go and it just made me a litle angry at him. He knows why I'm going, because of his little douche of a brother and yet he still has to ask me.
Really Nate? I stared at him for a while. Really?
"I hate you!" I yelled, nearly yanking myself off the bed and finding the closest pair of footwear I could lay hands on. "Why the hell do you guys have to act like I'm all sick and I cant move around by myself? I can okay? I don't need to depend on you guys or anyone. I can move around, I still have my legs and yeah they maybe a little bruised but boo-hoo so what? Gosh! They'll go away. Its not like there's a bullet in my chest right? I just wish you guys would stop acting like im gonna fall or break any second now. Please!" I finished.
By the time Nate or Caity could figure out what was happening I was already out my bedroom door and down the stairs. "I'm going for a walk!" I exclaimed as I slammed the front door. Both my parents were not to be seen downstairs which was good so I didnt have to run into them on my way out.
Thank god for my parents buying this house in a gated community which meant no more paparazzi. I dont even know how the hell they got in here in the first place, but ever since the first day they followed Shane and I home the haven't really been successful in following us again because the security in the area has been tightened menaing they cant get in anymore. Hurray.
It was only until I had a couple of streets that I realized it was quite cold outside and my shorts and flip flops were not actually that appropriate for a December night stroll but the idea of going back home and putting on pants wasn't an option. I knew I had vented out all of my anger on Nate and Caity. Caity who wasn't at fault for nothing. She stayed with me all last night to make sure I was okay, to make sure I wouldn't do anything stupid and kept me company all day so that my mind would be diverted from Shane, not that she succeeded 100% in that but still and I being the little bitch I am had to scream and yell at her for no reason. Nate on the other hand kind of deserved it. Okay, maybe he didn't really deserve it because nothing he said was technically wrong and I felt even worse about it just thinking of it. I told my mind that he deserved it for being Shane brother just to console myself but it didn't really work wonders.
I was more angry at Shane than at myself. All of this was his fault. Why did he have to be such a bastard? Why did he have to be such a let down to me? Why did he have to love Cheryl even if he claimed not to?
I ended up on the swings in the park near our house. The same park Shane and I had taken Macy and Jake the day we wrote the song. It was still within the gated area so I didn't really have to worry about anyone following me or seeing me and it was already dark anyway so it wasnt like anyone could actually see me. I swayed back and forth on my swing for a while, pushing my body forward on the swing once one feet hit the ground so that I would go more higher in the air the next time I swing back.
I got goosebumps every time the sing would be in the air, moving back and forth. The cold wind wasn't being too nice but I was too lazy to actually get up from there and go back home. I didn't want to go back home because I didn't want to face Caity and Nate if they were even there after all I said to them.
The thoughts of Nate and Caity were quickly brushed aside by thoughts of none other than Shane. I was frustrated at myself for thinking of him and even more frustrated that I couldn't stop. Yes, he said that he didnt wanna break up but since he left yesterday did he even call me once or even try to? Did he try to meet me?
No.
I was too lost in my thoughts of Shane that when I felt a sudden push coming from the back of the swing I nearly fell to the floor, but my grip on the iron railings was strong enough to stop me along with the adrenaline rushing through my veins. I became so paranoid I though someone had come to murder me and was at my feet within a second only to find Shane standing behind the swing I was on.
"What the hell do you want, Shane?" I barked, rolling my eyes at him and taking my seat back on the swing.
He seemed to ignore my unwelcoming tone and as I turned my body back around so that my back was facing him I saw him shove his hands into his jeans pocket, the cold getting the best of him too.
"Hey." He whispered, but it came out loud and clear against the silence of the park and the sound of the iron railings squeaking every time I moved on the swing. I couldn't actually go too back and forth because he was standing behind me and yes, I wanted to squash him by hitting him with the swing when I swung back, but no I didn't do that.
"Are you cold?" I heard him ask.
"Nope, I'm burning here. Cant you see the sun? Its like baking my skin and I'm sweating buckets of urea." I replied sarcastically.
I heard him sigh and then for a couple more moments not a single word left his mouth and I thought that maybe he had left. I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't want him to stay either. I was torn apart with tow different mindsets. A part of me wanted to tell him I want him back and I wont be able to live without him, but the other part of me wanted to just scream and yell at him for making everything wrong. For runing everything. For being the reason I couldn't stand him anymore. I couldn't believe I cant stand Shane Gray. I never thought I'd say that.
"Can we talk?" He asked and I jumped slightly again, not expecting him to be so close. His hands both placed above mine on the iron railings I was holding on to, causing my slow swing to come to an abrupt standstill. I could feel the hardness of his chest against my back, warming me instantly but sending a chill down my spine at the same time. His breathing was uneven and I could tell he was nervous because I could feel his stomach move up and down against my back and I swore I could hear his heart beating rapidly against his ribs, threatening to burst out.
"No." I said, simply, not paying attention to the butterflies in my stomach.
He let go of the swing and for a second I thought he was gonna leave me again, but instead he sat down on the swing next to mine, my body shivering again as his left mine.
"Please. I'm sorry, please listen to me." His eyes begged for me to look in them, but I resisted. I knew I'd give in if I saw his eyes and I was in no mood of doing that.
"Why should I Shane? Please tell me - why should I?" I asked, my voice raising with every word. "I just said a shit load of crap to Nate and Caity because of you a minute ago, you fucking just left me in the middle of this mess for your oh so shit of an ex and I'm being shipped off to New York for the holidays and my birthday because of you. I told you Shane, I told you that I didnt want to go through all of this rubbish if I wasnt getting you in the end and still you fucking chose her over me?"
'I didnt chose her over you!" He yelled, his tone matching mine. "Gosh! I didnt chose anybody. Yes, I didnt take your side, but c'mon, what the hell was I supposed to do?"
"Ahh..gee thanks Shane. That tells me so much about how much I meant to you." I told him, shaking my head at his words. I have to admit each and every word he said just broke my heart.
"No...Mitchie look, I'm sorry okay? Thats not what I meant...I just.."
"No Shane, don't be sorry. Don't be fucking sorry. I don't need you to be sorry. If you were so sick and tired of me you could have told me at least. You're supposed to be my boyfriend, you're supposed to take my side, you're supposed to care about me, not that fucking hoe who was just banging you so that she could move ahead in her career. She doesn't even love you!"
" I dont fucking have anything to do with her! Why dont you bloody understand?" He screamed, causing each and every hair in my body to stand up straight. "I cant change what happened, but seriously MItchie you had the whole family there and she had come with me. You would have been taken care of, who whould she have gone with? And before you say anything again, I'm not taking anyone's side...I just, try and see it from my point of view."
"I dont really think there is anything left for me to see or understand. We're just better off as nothing to each other."
"Why don't you just try and understand where I'm coming from? She was a huge part of my life a couple of months ago and you knew that. Shes a bitch I know, but you're not any less than her. If she was fighting with you then you were also fighting with her!" He replied, getting up from his swing and standing in front of me.
"Did you just call me a bitch?" I asked, furious at him. "Seriously Shane? Seriously!" I yelled, standing up myself. I didnt care that he was standing so close to me I didnt have enough room to move. I didnt care that when I spoke my breath vibrated off from his skin. I just wanted to do something to him and that something would involve blood.
"I didnt mean it like that, you know it. I'm sorry. I just...please I want you back, please." He begged, standing in my way. "I don't want to lose you over this. Not over this."
"Well then be sure to pick your words correctly and not act so...so...arghh I dont know, just move!" I yelled, shoving him in the chest and making my way out of the park. I had only taken two steps when Shanes hand jerked me back against his body. I felt a shot of pain flow though me as his hand gripped onto my already hurting wrist. "Don't go." He demanded. "Don't."
"Watch me." I shot back. Even in the darkness, with only the hardly visible moonlight I could see every single mole on his neck and face. And when I met his eyes for the first time that night I could see that he was confused with what was happening. This was obviously not what he had come here for. He came here to make up with me but his plan totally backfired. I could see how his tan skin shimmered under the moonlight waiting to be kissed and touched. I could see everything so clearly and yet nothing was clear for me.
"Please dont go." He pleaded this time, his right hand holding my wrist while the other was slipped around my waist to the small of my back holding me firmly in position.
"Oh I'm gonna leave Shane. I'm glad I'm leaving, from here, from this wrecked town even if its for a few weeks. I'll be gone and I'm glad I wont have to see your face even if its for a short while. You can enjoy your time fucking your bitch in LA. Have fun."
He looked hurt at my words which me some satisfaction, kind off. "Fine. Live in your little delusional world! If you don't believe me then don't. You can think that I'm fucking her or having sex with her or whatever, but you really need to open your eyes and see. Its not all roses for me either okay? Just fucking try and understand...I told you it wasn't going to be easy, but really Mitchie? She just comes one day and breaks us like that? Were we so weak?"
"Apparently, Shane we were. Just let me go okay? Gosh. Let me live in peace for a while and maybe then those freaking photographers and your crazy ass girlfriend will leave me in peace."
"Where are you going?" He asked again, his voice stern and his hand pushing me closer into him.
"I'm not gonna die if that was what you were hoping for." I replied. "Now let me go."
He did. "The record company is gonna call you for the song soon so you'll be seeing a lot of me next week no matter where you go. I wont let you go until I make you mine again."
"Well, good luck with that." I said bitterly, stomping back home.
First of all I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE you guys! Like sooo much I cannot even explain it xD
18 reviews? Wooot I think I'm gonna partyyyyy seriously you guys made me soo happy after the last chapter. I have NEVER gotten soo many reviews for one chapter. I was on cloud 9. You guys gave me the best birthday present ever! Even the people who never review reviewed and some of my old readers who I was missing reviwed too. Hope you do to this chapter too. I'm sorry its 2 weeks late. Honestly I kind of lost inspiration for it. Anyway to all those who I made cry the last chapter SORRY :D
Back to the story now...Dont hate Shane. Poor guy is just really worried and torn apart between what he should do not to mention Cheryl making everything hell and the press reporting every single thing he does. Okay...you can hate him if you like, he did kind of call Mitchie a bitch :p But hes frustrated. If she can say all those things to him, why cant he? He also gets hurt right? You gotta understand that. And its the first time I've had Shane so out there and kind of bold in this story. Normally its Mitchie. [I'l just biased towards Shane because Joe plays him hahaaha :p]
And Nate and Caity? They'll understand...hopefully.
So shes going to NYC in the next chapter and let me tell you guys that she does some pretty wreckless things there and Shane doesnt help with all the things he does in LA either. Next Chapter will be in NY which means no Shane or maybe a little of Shane ORRRR I'll have to make the Chapter longerr and have both LA and NY which means it will take a lot of time. What do you guys want?
Please review guys and I promise if I get reviews like last time I'll post the next chapter by saturday :D
Shane is more pissed at Mitchie now than ever.
I'm so excited for this story to go to LA LOL Finally we'll have songs in this story again...
Whos watching JONAS LA btw? All three brothers looking mighty fiinne haha LOL but yes Joe I have eyes only for you dont worry!
I'll shut up now. Review.