It was my fourth day in New York when I found my brain dying of boredom. Who would have thought New York City is boring? It isnt actually, I am. I had spent the past three days doing nothing, absoultely nothing. The first day we got here I was too tired to even move from my bed while mom was busy with meetings with the publication house the second she got here. She told me to accompny to the meetings the secind daywhich I did because I was simply bored out of my mind and did I mention how harsh the New York weather was in December? I had been to New York before, but had never come here during this time of the year. It was freezing!

I felt so out of place with mom and her meetings because I would just sit there in those huge conference rooms or outside glass doors staring into space. Some people recognised me and whould just stop and stare or even say hello which was kind of weired because I didnt even know them.

The good thing was that the city was beautiful during this time of the year and like Shane said, I got a call the second day I was in New York from the record company that I had to be in LA by the sixth which was tomorrow for the song and for signing the deal with them so technically today was my last day here untill I'm finished with the LA shit. I was excited for LA. Beyond excited. I love the palm trees, the beaches, the shopping. Everything is just so extravagant, so huge, it amazes me.

I hadnt even gotten a new phone yet. I was just too lazy to get out of the place and buy stuff, but that didnt stop Shane from calling. He called three times every hour on the landline in our New York apartment. Dad had bought it for mom as a 10 year anniversay gift and we only used it whenever mom had to be in town for her books or when the whole family was here together. I gave up picking the phone after while. It wasnt that I was still mad at him, infact I missed him, I really missed him. I was mad at the situation. I was mad at Cheryl and all that happened and I knew that somewhere down the line I was at fault too, but my ego wouldnt allow me to give in.

He has been in LA for two days now and I wanted to talk to him. I would be with him tomorrow yet we'd be so far away. I was happy that I'd get to see him, not that I'd show it. I just wanted to see him and I decided that I would pick up the next time he called. I wasnt sure what I'd say, but I'd pick up.

I wrote random songs and played the guitar while waiting for him to call. Every single second seemed to pass by like an hour. Frustrated, I decided to check what was happening online and that seemed to be my worst idea till date. I had promised myself I wouldnt go online for a month and I wish I had just stuck to that or just called Caity to pass my time who was probably in school now that it was only 2pm, but I didnt and when I opened the page to my favourite gossip site, yes I like going to gossip sites, sue me, I found every thought of missing Shane, talking to him or wanting to fix things be replaced by anger.

'Old lovebugs rekindle romance?', 'Shane and Cheryl lunch date.', 'Hollywoods hottest new couple.', 'Shane and Mitchie over already?', 'Smitchie, publicity stunt for Shane's new movie?'

Those were only a few of the titles if articles posted. I hated this, I hated this, I just really hated this. Why does everyone want to know what the hell is happening in everyone elses life? The pictures of Shane nd Cheryls 'lunch date' made me wanna break my guitar. Seriously Shane, seriously? And you call me, what for? Looks like you're having a smacking good time in LA yourself. My stomach sank when I saw pictures of them all smiles, enjoying lunch together. Fuck you Shane, just fuck you!

How the hell do they know whats happening in my life? How do they know that Shane and I are over? How, just how?

Maybe this was just a publicity stunt to promote their movie. After all they couldnt have their lead pair hating on each other, but the smiles and laughs in the pictures were telling me otherwise. They looked genuine, or they were both very good actors. I felt like someone was slowly cutting open a vein. I hated them together. I wouldnt have cared if it was with some other girl, any other girl, just not her. She makes my blood boil.

Scrolling down the page there was a picture of Shane and me with lightening drawn inbetween us and another one with a question mark on it. So now all of a sudden everyone thinks that Shane and I were a publicity stunt for their shitty new movie? Seriously, did we look so fake?

The phone started ringing but I didnt move from my place. Did everyone think that there was no way Shane and I could actually be dating in the first place? Was I just not good enough for him?

I tried shaking those thoughts out of my head, but that never seemed to work. And then there were comparisons between me and Cheryl. Everyone taking Cheryls side, saying she's the gorgeous, talented hollywood actress who needs to make babies with Shane as soon s possible. Babies? On the other hand I was apparently the ugly bitch who got lucky and who's sorry ass Shane would dump any day now. Sorry to break you bubble bitches, but I did the honors already.

Why was I still so pissed off if Shane and I were over? I didnt have the right to be, but I still was. Maybe because he was still calling me in hopes of getting things back to normal, then why did he have to hang out with Cheryl? I bet he's got a zillion more friends in LA. It is where he lives.

At the end of a page there were two pictures. One of me, Nate, Jason and that Abigail girl from the beach club and the one under it had a picture of Shane and Abigail. They were taken on the same day and the text under it said 'I met Connect 3, Cheryl Woodcoff and Mitchie Torres, Shane's girlfriend in the beach club today! They were all very sweet and they even signed a couple of things for me. Shane and Cheryl werent with the family though, they were sitting inside and seemed to be having a very serious conversation. I didnt disturb them at first, but I saw the two of them when I was leaving and approached them. Shane was holding Cheryl and helping her get into his car...how sweet? So, I couldnt take picture with her, but I took one with Shane. He was really nice and I think him and Cheryl make such a cute pair! They are amazing. But isnt Shane seeing Mitchie? I saw him leave the ladies room when he was leaving. I wonder why that was. Anyway they were great! I wish I get to meet them again.'

I think I wanted to puke after reading that.

I wish Shane was with me at times like this. Times when I felt frustrated and angry at everyone else, at the situation. I just didnt know how to handle it. I had never had anyone have their ass stuck up in my personal life before nd this was just so different than anything else I had ever experienced in my entire life. It was like every single person on the planet wanted to know about every little thing happening in my life. They had to judge and overnalize everything I did and put one person down to make the other look better.

Ignoring the continuous ringing of the phone, I grabbed my coat and handbag and made a dash for the door. I didnt know where I was going, but I needed to get away from the lonliness of the house, its silence against the sound of the phone ringing pierced through me driving me insne and everything I read online wasnt helping either.

I didnt know the streets of New York well because I never really paid attention. Mom and dad would never let me out alone here simply because I didnt know the city and it was so much more different than Miami. So much.

I walked a couple of blocks away from the apartment, hugging my body with my arms. I was cold, hungry and angry and most of all just alone. I felt so alone, I couldnt even decribe it. I didnt know the names of places so I had to walk untill I found a buzzling spot. It didnt take too long since the apartment seemed to be not too far away from all of the happening places in the city - Restuarants, pubs, shops, salons. You name it, I could see it.

Six hours and a Turkey sandwich later I found myself sitting on a leather chair in front of a mirror with two ladies examining my hair with proud smiles on their faces. I didnt want to go home infact, I had already lost my way there, but I knew I'd get there if I asked anyone for directions. Mom wouldnt be there before midnight and I'd probably turn into a ghost just sitting there all alone so here I was in one of those upscale salons somewhere in the middle of New York city looking at the person staring back at me in the mirror. Honestly, I just needed the time to pass and I wanted a new look. I was so sick and tired of everyone just judging me and pointing out every little flaw. I wanted my new look to tell those people that I didnt give two shits about them and I'd do whatever I wanted, but I didnt really know what I wanted. When the hairdresser asked me what I had in mind, I just told her 'Do whatever you like with it.' and sat myself down.

"See, this colour compliments your skin more and the highlights just bring out your eyes." One of the blonde hairdressers who had been occupied with my hair informed as she held onto the ends of my now much shorter brown hair. Yes, brown. I had turned into a brunette with golden highlights, but the colour wasnt the big change, the length of my hair was. She cut it into a bob which was just the length of my face in the front hit the end of my neck in the back. It was much shorter than my usual pitch black hair which fell to my back, much shorter. I looked like someone else. Someone I didnt know exists within me. I wouldnt be surprised if anyone I knew didnt recognise me.

"And it makes you look less pale." She added, smiling and removing the black apron that had been hugging me for the past couple of hours. "Do you like it?"

"I love it, thanks." I agreed.

"Then, I think you're good to go." She smiled.

It was already dark outside, but that didnt stop people from roaming the streets. I was the last customer left in the salon and I watched as the rest of the hairdressers packed up and left, closing the shop. Christmas decortions and lights had already been set up in the roads, illuminating every patch of land. I didnt know where to go or what to do. I still felt lonely nd upset over tht I hd read and seen over the internet. Those people had no right to judge me. They didnt even know me, and Shane? He just needed to get his head straight.

I decided that I wouldnt let him or anyone spoil my mood. They had absolutley no right to. They shouldnt matter, and anyway I was in New York City for crying out loud! The best freaking city in the world, the place to lve a good life and party and no one should take that away from me. No one could stop me from having a good time, no one.

I hopped into a cab, for the first time in the whole day sure where I was going.

-X-

I ran a hand through my new short hair for the tenth time in the last three minutes as the bartender just eyed me suspiciously and I took a sip of my coke. I had never been to any place like this before. I felt so foreign, yet comfortable. I felt the most wanted here thn I hd in the last couple of days. Maybe it was because I was surrounded by all these people who I didnt know and who were not interested in knwoing me either or maybe it was the loud music that blocked out every thought of Shane.

I had been to parties before, but never to a club. It was the first time I had been in such a atmosphere. No one seemed to give a damn about anyone else and I was glad I remembered this place once the Pennington's and my family were in New York together and Greg had pointed it out. I was too mesmerised by the ouriside of it to ever forget it. It seemed like one of those places you knew you had to go to before you die even if it was just a club. Everyone was too busy trying to grinde their bodies gainst ech other or throw their hands in the air or were just too wasted to even walk properly. I noted everything from my positon at the bar, ready to hit the dance floor during the next song.

"Are you sure you should be here?" The bartender asked me for the second time in the last hour I had spent sitting at the club. "How old are you?"

I rolled my eyes at the guy. He was young, maybe just out of college or probably still studying and had brown hair with the greek god type looks. If boys didnt fuck my life up so much I'd probably have spent my time hitting on him, or maybe not considering how annoying he seemed, just looking at me and asking me stupid questions about my age. If Shane could have fun back in LA then I sure could have fun in fucking New York. "I'm 18." Well, nearly 18. I would be in two weeks anyway so that shouldnt be counted as lying.

"Are you sure? You look like you're sixteen." He implied.

I opened my mouth to say something, but was stopped when I felt a large heavy arm wrap itself around my neck and shoulders. "Zack man, lay off dude. Shes with me. Aren't you beautiful?"

It didnt take me long to recognise the man standing next to my sitting body. He was the same man who helped me get into the club in the first place. I was underage, but I knew people alwys snuck into clubs so I tried my luck. It failed like it always does untill this guy let me go inside with him, telling the people at the entrace that I was his guest. I didnt know why he said that, maybe he felt sorry for me? At this moment I didnt really care because I was just glad I was in the club. He disspeared after getting me in though and this was the first I saw of him in the last hour. The only difference I noticed between him when he entered the club and him now was that he ws completely stoned. And I mean completely. I could practically smell the lcohol reeking off from his mouth and I watched as his knees buckled every now and then, trying to keep himself up.

"She's with me." The guy slurred to the bartender again and I just nodded and smiled hesitantly. The last thing I wanted was to be kicked out of this place, so I decided to just go along with it. The brtender whos name I lernt was Zack looked unconvinced.

"Yeah, I'm with him." I lied.

Zack shook his head and went back to serving drinks to waiting customers.

"Umm thanks." I told the blonde guy who still had his and around my shoulder.

"You wanna dance?" He asked.

I didnt want to, but I said yes simply because I wanted to escape any further interigations by over at the bar. And also because I kept reminding myself that if Shane could have fun then why not me? That was what didnt let me stop. Once I started the dancing I couldnt stop.

I felt so outraged with myself, it wasnt even funny. The blonde guy whos name I learnt was Danny dragged me sloppily towards the center of the dance floor where there were already hounds of people brushing their sweaty bodies against each other. From the bar I would have never guessed how hot it was in the dance floor. I literally felt steam come out of my body even before I started dancing and the fact that it was so dark in the dance floor and the different coloured lights made it look like everyone was moving in slow motion didnt help.

Danny wasnt such a bad dancer even after being wasted and it wasnt like after the first hour I even cared because I was wasted myself. The heat, the sweat and all the energy loss from the dancing made me thirsty and I found myself grabbing the cup in Dannys hand and gulping down the entire content in one go. I didnt expect it to be alcohol and didnt even realise untill it hit the back of my thought sending a burning sensation throughout my body. I didnt care at that moment because it seemed irrelvent. One drink wouldnt do anything, but I didnt stop at one. Zack, would obviously not sell any drinks to me, but that Danny guy seemed to be more than happy to buy me as many drinks as I wanted. I didnt even know what I was drinking, all I knew was that it was some sort of alcohol. I let it take control over me while I danced madly around the dance floor pushing and shoving other people and smiling goofily with my arms drapped losely around Dannys neck to a song which I was too stoned to even mouth the words to.

Danny didnt seem to mind instead, he was more than happy to place his hands shamelessly on my hips as they swayed to the deafening music.

Take that Shane fucking Gray! I dont need you to have a good time. I was capable of doing that by myself.

By the time I was given my sixth drink I could myself suffocting in the heat and the sound. I knew I had to get myself out of there if I didnt want to lie unconcious on the dance floor but when I released my hands from Dannys neck and turned around to make my way out of there his hand just tugged onto mine, refusing me to go. I turned around and looked at him warily through my cloudy eyes and all I could see was smirk playing on his lips. He lened in closer and whispered something in my ear which went unheard partly because it was so loud in there and partly because I was too drunk to even arrange words and make something of them. I just nodded goofily like I had been doing for the past two hours in the club and stumbled towards the exit not even looking back one last time.

I couldnt even find my coat on the way out, not that I cared. I just needed to get out of there because I knew I'd be in deep shit if I stayed any longer. I shivered and nearly fell down to the pavement when I reched outside. The harsh winter night so different against the sweaty heat of the club. The sudden change in temperature nearly made me wanna throw up. I didnt though. I just needed to find a cab, ramble the apartment's address and head home hoping mom hadnt gotten there yet.

The people on the street stared at the as I rambled and smiled to myself, taking a few more steps towards the road to hail a taxi. The road wasnt too busy, only a couple of cars would whizz my every now and then and when I thought my eyes cught something yellow I nearly yellped into the road yelling "Taaxiii."

I didnt know whether it was a taxi or not, but whatever it was, it didnt stop and I fell onto the road, my palms scraping as they hit the harsh cement and my head dropping in frustration. I was too drunk for the thought that a car could come by and crush me to even cross my mind. Dragging myself off the road, I walked forward, not looking right and then left like we were taught when were five years old abou crossing roads, just walking slowly, atking my sweet time. I didnt even notice when the road ended and I was walking on the pavement again. I stopped infront of a shop with huge neon lights with the brightest colours and banged on the glass window, showing the middle aged bald man my teeth as I smiled on at him and the rest of the people in the shop. I rose my head above, as if to look at the sky so that I could take a look at the sign at the top of she shop. Giggling at myself, I read what it said and pushed open the glass door. "Tattoos."

-X-

45 minutes later I left the shop with a white bandage on my right hip, thanking myself for carrying a bunch load of cash with me. I no longer felt sold or sad or lonely. I felt happy, free and in control even if I was drunk and totally out of my mind.

"Mitchhhayy! Yo, Mitchhhayy...I've been looking for you!" I turned around to see a very much drunk Danny standing a couple of meters away from me with a plastic cup in his hand.

"Hii Danny!" I laughed, making over exaggerated hand and body movements. "...But I wasnt looking for you...I..I..." I scratched the back of my head, biting my bottom lip and going into deep thinking. "I dont know what I was looking for." I giggled.

"You were looking for me." He stated, coming closer. "You said you'd come to my place with me, remember?"

"Ohh..." I sighed like a little kid. "I did?" I bit my finger, trying to rememvber when that was.

"You did." He smirked, holding my hand.

"Ummm...Okay..." I giggled stupidly, frantically looking left and right, looking for something. "..Let me call home and tell my family I wont be home tonight, okkkayy?" I found myself asking permission like four year old and he cracked a grin, rubbing his thumb on my chin.

"Okay, you do that."

There was a payphone only a couple of feet away at the end of the road, and I closed the glass door behind me as I stared at the buttons trying to remember how to operate it. I looked behind my shoulder to find Danny still sanding where I had left him, smiling at me. Picking up the black reciever, I punched in a familiar number after inserting coins into the machine.

One ring, two rings, three rings...they went on and on untill the phone was finally answered and I debated over whether I should answer it or leave it and go with Danny. By the seventh ring I was ready to give up when Shane finally answered the phone.

"Hello?"

I stood in silence for a while, my feet and hands ready to give up, drop the reciever and fall to the floor. "Shaane! Shane...Sha-Sha-Shane!" I slurred in one go.

"Mitchie?" He seemed surprised. Maybe because I had actually called him or because my voice was so different you could tell I was drunk. "Wha-Are you okay? What happened to your voice."

I laughed through the reciever as I heard him patiently waiting for an answer from me from the other side of the phone. He seemed so concerned, I wanted to laugh again. "I'm fine Shane! Shaneyyy...Danny over there is taking very good care of me. I'm going to his house..." I explained as I pointed out of the glass.

"Are you drunk?" He asked, his voice so soothing I just wanted to cry and say everything I've wanted to tell him since I was in New York. I wanted to hug him and cry on his chest. I wanted to say I was sorry and forget everything, but no words seemed to function in my brain to put any of that together. "Are you okay? Who are you with? Who the hell is Danny!" He asked in one breath and I could tell that he has stopped whatever he had been doing before I called and had that frightened and confused expression on his face which we hardly get to see.

"Danny is Danny." I stated simply. "..Danny Danny Danny...but Shaaanneee! I didnt call you to talk about him. I can talk to him all night.." I giggled. "...I-I Shane, hi!...I called to say hi and that I was having so much fun here without you Shane, so much! I dont even need you to be happy. I'm so happy...see I'm happy." I forcibly put a fake smile on my face knowing that he couldnt see any of the obnoxious things I was doing. "..And-"

I was cut off by Shane before I could even let another word leave my mouth. "Where are you, just tell me that? Seriously what hve you gotten yourself into...tell me!" He demanded and I just laughed into the reciever. "...Dont go anywhere with this Danny guy! Do you hear me? Mitchie...are you there? Listen to me, are you there? Dont go with him, you dont even know him? Where the hell did you meet him? Just tell me where you are I'll get you out of there somehow!"

I giggled again. "You're just jealous I'm having more fun than you Shane! You dont know Danny...I met him in the bar. I know him. I-I...You're in LA, Shane."

"You met that guy at a bar? Are you fucking crazy? Its past midnight there...Just tell me! I'll send my people...anyone..just tell me where you are..." He pleaded and I kind of felt bad for the guy.

"I..well umm..there's lots of lights here, Shane..." I explained and he sighed frustratedly.

"Name! Tell me the name of the place, an address...something!"

"I..." And then the line went dead. I held the phone close to my ear for a couple more seconds before I let the thing fall downwards, the metal wire preventing it from hitting the floor. All my coins had been used up and I ws too tired to even digg my cold fingers into my jeans to find any that I had left.

When I left the phonebooth Danny was there alright, but unconcious on the floor with a puddle of puke next to him. Just looking at that place made me want to throw up along with all of the alcohol in my system.

"Are you okay? Are you..." And then I puked all over the person who was now standing in front of me with a wet shirt and pants. My eyes slowly started closing as I tried raising my heavy head higher so that my face could meet that person in front of mine.

I couldnt take any of my crziness ny longer and I gave into gravity falling to the ground, only to be held by two pairs of arms.

-X-

My head was throbbing so bad it was like screw drivers were being pinned through it. I slightly opened my eys allowing the dim entrance of light and then closed them again not able to take it. I finally got the power to open my eyes and sit up straight after struggling with myself for a good ten minutes. When I sat up on the bed I realised I wasnt at the apartment, I knew I wasnt at the apartment and the fact that Zack was sitting infront of me with his head in his hands, staring into spce confirmed my theory.

"Where am I?" I managed to choke out. "...And who the hell.." Then I remembered who he was. He was a perfect stranger who I had spoken two words to the night before and here I was sitting on his bed.

"Asprin." He said, walking over to me and handing me a glass. I took it and gulped the whole thing down, eyeing him during the whole process. I knew from the little I remembered of the night before that I shouldnt be taking drinks from strangers, but I needed something in my system. I felt dehydrated even after all of the liquid I had consumed last night.

"I found you outside I club last night and you seemed kind of lost and out of place. I was gonna ask you if I could help you get home and then you just suddenly puke all over me and fall unconcious." He explained, and there was the annoying guy I remembered from hours ago. "...and Danny seemed to be taking too much interest in you which is never good. Now can you please tell me where the hell you live so that I can get you there and sleep? I have another shift in four hours and some sleep would be nice."

"I-" I started, still craving some more water, but afraid to ask for it. After all I was in this dudes house and he seemed pretty pissed at me and asking him for something more didnt seem right. I should be thankful that he didnt rape me or cut open my kidneys or-

"Holy shit! What the fuck is this?" I screamed, finding my voice again as I found myself in a standing positon, pointing at the white bandage on my right hip. "What the fuck did you do? Did you cut me or something!"

"What? No! Chill, woman..!" Zack defended, his tone matching mine and I just wanted to bang him with something, but keeping the situation in mind that wouldnt be the best thing to do.

"What do you mean? Why do I have bandage on my hip? Were you gonn cut my organs and sell them or something?"

"What? No! You alredy had that when I found you. I think its a tattoo or something, crazy woman! I save you last night and you just jump on me!"

Fuck. If that was a tattoo I'd be more damned than I would have if my organs were cut. I pulled down one side of my jeans a little, not caring that a guy was in the room, I just needed to see what the hell had been done. I would either faint because I'd be seeing blood or because I'd be seeing ink. Either way I'd faint.

Shit. .!

I'm damned for life.

I didnt know what else to do, I just made a run for the front door, remembering every detail of the night before.

Damed for life.

Sorry no Shane this chapter. Promise, next chap will be 5000 words of Smitchie goodness. This had to be done...Mitchie and her stupid mistakes and her ego which causes them/ Cant write a longer not because its 4am and have to sleep and wanted to have this up on Sat as I promised. I love you all. Tell me what you think and ofcourse she got tattoo but what of? And shne, hes freaking out I gues..along with her parents!

Okay gotta go...review and if I get a good response then I'll give you soo much of Smitchie you'll love me for life :p

LOVE YOU all!

sorry not reading again, forgive me for mistakes.