I know, I know, I don't own anything :(
but there is only one way to make me happy please R&R

Lusha's POV:

After a long hot shower; I really didn't want it to end, I went to my room I dressed myself with one of the new PJs that Jake bought for me, I toweled my hair and then I looked at how long it was, I'm never a long hair person, never was and never will, so I took a set in front of the mirror and took the scissors that was in the drawer and I cut my hair, after I finished cutting my hair I looked at myself in the mirror now my hair lay an inch above my shoulder and it looked good "that's better, much better" I muttered to myself

I went downstairs and I was met by the smell of good food, I flowed my nose and it led me to the living room were Jake was preparing dinner, I stood in the door way looking at him, I know he's gonna ask me about what happened and If I remember what happen to me in the pit, should I tell him the truth?? or should I just let it go and pretend that I don't remember?? Man, who the hell am I fooling??? He's Jake; he'd know that I'm lying before even I open my mouth…

"you gonna stand there all day or you gonna come and eat??" Jake's voice pulled me out of my thoughts he wasn't looking at me, after putting the dishes he looked my way to find me still standing in the door way with my new hair cut "you cut your hair, why??"

I looked at him and put a small smile on my face "coz this is the way I like it and.." he cut me off

"you're not a long hair person" he finished for me, I went and sit next to him on the couch in front of the TV… after a minuet Jake add again "were you planning on lying to me??" he was facing me and looking at me dead in the eye, Busted.

"huh?" I asked innocently like I don't know what he's talking about "I would never do that" I said with a grin

"oh, no, no, no… don't play cute with, coz I know you so damn well to know that you were trying to lie at me" he said trying to keep his serious face on, I looked down I felt his hand on mine and when I looked up all I saw was concern written all over his face "you know you can tell me anything, right?" he said with his husky voice that melt my heart, what was I thinking lying to him?? I can't even try.

"I know, I know it's just…." I trailed off

He put his thump under my chin and lift my head up so he can look at me "you just what??" he asked

"I'm just not ready yet" he just nod "but when I'm ready I'll tell you, you know I will" with another nod he sat back and took a slice from his pizza, I took my cheeseburger sandwich and took a big bit at it, he looked at me and laughed "what?" he continue to laugh his head off "I'm hungry so sue me" I glared at him

"don't be mad, you look adorable" his laughter turned into a big smile, I just gave him 'yeah right' look

"try seven months in hell, and you'll know how's my stomach's feeling" I said as I took another big bit

"I'm sorry" he said, and by the change in his tone I knew that the apology wasn't for what he said

"it's not your fault, it was my choice plus I'm back, cheer up" I reassured him

"I could've stopped you" he said, I could hear the guilt in his voice, he turned his face the other way

"Jake… hay Jake look at me" and when he didn't I squat in front of him and put my hands on his knees "Jake look at me" but still he didn't I put my hand on his cheek and turned his face around and looked into his eyes, his eyes seemed to see me but yet still look right through me, I could see a struggle taking place within their emerald depth. So many emotions flickered through them so fast that I was only able to discern a few. Anger, sadness, worry, pain, fear, and guilt were the ones I saw the most.

"since when you can stop me from doing what I want? I would've kicked your ass" I said with a small smile trying to lighten the mood, but from the look he gave me it only made it thicker

"it's not funny" he said sternly "you have any idea what I've been through in the last seven months" he pushed my hand away and stood up and start pacing the length of the living room "you weren't the only one who died that day, you know…" I stood up and made my way toward him, what was he talking about?? "do you know how I felt knowin' that the one I love might not come back" I can't believe what he just said…. He LOVES me?? My brain was in a fog I know he said it before, but I thought he only said it coz he thought that I wasn't coming back…. I pushed all of the questions aside and stood in front of him making him stop waking but still he didn't look at me

"would you please look at me" I felt the freaking tingling feeling in my nose and the limp that was forming in my throat, damn it I'm not gonna cry "please" I sounded so weak but at this point I didn't care "fine, I'm sorry" I said after he still wouldn't look at me, I stepped aside and walked away just when I made it to the living room's door I felt him pulling me from my elbow and turning me around so I was facing him

"don't you ever walk away again" he looked at me, I felt his hand slid behind my back and the next thing I know I was pulled so close; so close that there was no room between us, not even air, and his mouth was on mine.

His lips were soft and gentle. It was nothing like when Paimon had forcibly kissed me. I was glad he was holding me to him because I would've fallen otherwise since my knees had become unstable. he backed me into a wall and deepened the kiss. I was completely lost in him, I didn't want to stop… for a moment I was ready to give it all up just to stay like this forever, I was ready to give up hunting, I was ready to give up my life, I was ready to give up the urge to please my dad…… wait, dad.

I broke the kiss, even when it was the last thing I wanted to do… I broke the kiss just because I thought about dad, I still have to find him, I still have to tell him what happen to mom and he have to tell my brothers that I'm their little sister.

I took two steps back word and I looked down, I didn't want to meet his eyes, I couldn't.. after all what he been through, and after all the time he waste waiting for me, I just wasn't ready and it's not fair to him… couple of minutes had passed without saying anything, and I didn't look up fearing the look that he had on his face… after another long silent minute he was the one that broke the awkwardness in the are

"what's wrong Lusha?? Did I do something wrong??" when I look up all I saw was concern, typical Jake

"you did everything but wrong, you were perfect, you are perfect" I said keeping the distance

"but??" damn it, there always a BUT that will hurt someone

"I'm not ready, and… ah I, I'm just not ready" I felt my eyes get watery

"it's about your dad, isn't it??" he said calmly

"part of it, yes"

"and the other part??"

"I still have some stuff to take care of before I settle down, I'm sorry" I said

"don't be, I'll wait for you as long as it takes" he smiled, that worm smile always made me feel ok, he took the two steps that I took earlier and made his way toward me "and I don't care how long it'll take" he said and held me close and kiss the top of my head, I put my ear on his chest heading the beating of his kind heart, the heart that belongs to me, I looked up at him and I looked him in the eye

"I'm yours, I just need time, ok??" I said

"I know, and I'll wait… coz I don't know what else I can do but waiting for you" he placed another soft kiss on my forehead and I put my head back on his chest, we stayed like this for a while until I yawned "come on, let's get you in bed" he picked me up so fast

"Jake" I squalled, he giggled

"sleepy head" he said and laughed

I relaxed in his arms, by the time we made it to my room I was dozing off, I felt him open the door very carefully and the next thing I know he was putting me in my bad and putting the cover over me, he tuck me and he was about to leave "don't" he turned around "don't go, please"

"ok" he said quietly and he walked toward the char that was next to my bed

"not there" I pulled the cover away and I scoot over making some room for him "here" I nod to the empty spot next to me

"are you sure, I snore at night" he said with a smile

"I think I can handle it, now come"

He slid next to me and pulled the cover over the both of us and he pulled me close to him and I rest my head on his chest that's when I doze off.

Few days later, everything was back to normal, Jake would go to the garage and I would stay here clean and cook, lame and so not the life for me, but I just wanna rest for a while and then I'd go back to work.

I wake up by the sunlight that was hitting my face, I looked at the clock and it was 10:30 am, it was Monday, I closed my eyes and stretched my body…. Oh wait… 10:30 "what the hell" I swing my legs on the side of the bad, I did the morning routine, and then I came back to my room to change, I put on my dark blue ripped jeans and my black AC\DC tank top and a black short sleeved shirt without buttoning the buttons, I put on my black converse.

I made my way down stairs and the smell of fresh coffee hit me, I went to the kitchen to find it empty, only a tray of food on the table and a note next to it, I poured some coffee and went to set on the table, I took the note and it was from Jake, he said that he couldn't wait and that his boss called him and he had to go and that he'll meet me at diner, and he signed it with "your future husband" that got me to laugh, I put the phone aside and dug in my food, after I finished I washed the dishes and cleaned a little watched some tv.

All the time I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing the only thought was on my mind is calling dad, after thinking all day long, at 4:15 pm I decided to call, Jake already got the number for me from Bobby so I took the phone and I dilled the number, it rang

'Beep' my heart skipped a beat

'Beep' I was doubting what I was doing

'Beep' I was about to hang up "Hello" as soon as I heard his voice there was limp forming in my throat, damn it his voice always made me feel safe, "hello" the voice sound more irritated, I tried to talk but I couldn't find my voice "for the last time HELLO"

I took a deep breath "dad??" thank god my voice is back

"who is that??"

"dad, it's me LuAnn"

"what do you want" he said sternly, sounded angry

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and by my blurry vision they were about to fall "I just call to see if you where ok" I took a deep breath "I heard you came back"

"who told you that I was gone in the first place?? And it's been seven months, where were you then huh??" now he sounded disappointed which break my heart in to two, all my life I've worked so hard just to make him proud of me, but it seems all the things that I've done went flying out the window

"sorry dad, I just was tied up and I couldn't come or call" I was trying so hard to keep my tears at bay and my voice from braken

"tied up, huh?? With what? partying?? a filthy job at a bar?? Boys.. coz I know that you weren't in school, so what was making you tied up??"

"is that what you think of me?? Just so you know I don't go to partys, I don't have a boyfriend nor a job at a filthy bar, and if you really wanna look me up and see what I was doing in school, try the name Lu Williams, since you didn't want me to use your last name" I couldn't help but crack, I couldn't hold it anymore…. I didn't get any reply so I continue "and if you wanna know so bad what I was doing the last seven months you should ask Bobby and the boys"

"how do you know Bobby?? And what boys??"

"I know Bobby coz he give me info… and the boys, your sons, my brothers…. The ones that you forgot to mention and forgot to tell them that they had a sister….." he cut me

"don't you dare come near them, don't you dare" he threatened me

"I didn't, but tell me one thing dad, what is the bad thing that I did that made you hate me so much??"

"just don't come near my boys, you got me??" he ordered

"yes sir" and with that he hang up on me, I let it all I sobbed my heart out, I cried and cried till nothing left, I curled myself on the couch kept on crying for god knows how long till I worn myself out…

god knows what time was when Jake came back I just heard the door open and closed "hello baby, I'm home" I heard him enter the kitchen "baby?" he sound worried when he didn't find me there "Lusha where ar…" he was cut by seeing me curled up like a ball on the living room's couch "oh, baby what happen?? Are you ok, oh god baby talk to me" he held my shoulder with his hand and helped me to set but still I was staring at this one spot and rocking back and forward and my mind was racing "Lu, Lu look at me" I could hear his voice but I couldn't do what he was asking me to do "LU, LUSHA, DAMN IT SNAP OUT OF IT" I finally looked at him and his eyes were filled with worry and concern

"he doesn't love me Jake, he don't even care" as I said that my body was shaking so bad I just couldn't control it and I felt so cold, after that everything went black