Chapter 11

Love Will Tear Us Apart, Again

Denerim – that evening

The carriage ride back to the palace was painful. Elinora sat close to Alistair, but he wouldn't look at her. His eyes remained on the Great Chantry, filled with hurt and disappointment. She held his hand and did not push the issue. Eamon, Teagan and Leliana remained silent as well. The situation was as fragile as it was awful, and no one knew what to do about it.

Afternoon was fading into evening when they reached the palace to find preparations for a wedding feast at a stand still. A runner had brought the news ahead of them, but no instructions. Alistair's face fell a little further.

Eamon placed a strong hand on his shoulder. "We'll take care of this." Alistair nodded once and left, his confused valet in his wake.

Elinora looked around the Great Hall. Tables were set for a sizeable party, bigger than the one at the Chantry, but not by much. Food was laid out and she could smell more wafting up from the kitchens. She called the servants to her.

"What you've heard is true; the Chantry stopped our wedding. While we may lack something to celebrate, we will not let your efforts go to waste. Feed all who come. Do not disturb his majesty tonight for anything less than an invasion. Or me, for that matter." With a glance to Eamon, who nodded in return, she departed for her rooms.

Leliana and Zevran followed close on her heels. "What are you going to do?" the bard asked gently.

With a cautious look to Leliana, Zevran started, "If you like, I could…"

"No." Elinora stopped and looked to the two of them, both well meaning and poorly timed. "We shall take only appropriate action in this situation. If you two wish to be of any use, you'll get your ears to the ground and find out why the Divine made this dictate."

Leliana nodded. "I think I can be most useful there. But, will you be alright?"

Elinora brushed it off. "I'll manage."

Leliana exchanged a look with Zevran, a concerned one, but did not press the subject. Instead, she hugged Elinora and said, "If you'll excuse me, I have some inquiries to make."

As Leliana departed, Elinora turned and continued down the corridor.

"You don't fool me, you know."

Elinora stopped again and turned to Zevran. "What?"

"You are furious, and yet instead of ending that vile woman and burning the Chantry to the ground, you send spies and give orders. How long will keep your feelings bottled up?"

Her eyes burned coldly. "As long as I have to, as long as it takes. But under no circumstances will you see some public display of woe. I will not cry and rend my garments for the injustice of it all. Speaking of which, I'd like to get out of this armor." She turned and continued walking.

Zevran did not follow. He had his own inquiries to make.

Elinora's newly acquired maid waited for her in her chambers. Dedra looked deeply concerned, very different from her usual jaded attitude. Though not even out of her teens, the young woman had seen just about everything. With no mother, Dedra's soldier father had hauled his little girl from posting to posting, learning the ways of soldiering, right up until Ostagar. Between Darkspawn and Dedra's encroaching womanhood, he decided to send her to an aunt in Denerim, who was a lower maid to Anora. Dedra had been in the palace when the Horde attacked, and held off a contingent of Darkspawn all by herself until she was able to evacuate with other servants. Between skills picked up during a childhood with the army and training received under her aunt, Dedra was the perfect ladies' maid for a Commander of the Grey.

Dedra got Elinora out of her armor quickly and efficiently. "Are you planning on going down to dinner, commander?" she asked uncharacteristically softly.

"I don't think so. Tunic and leggings will do." Elinora's voice was near emotionless, empty. Dedra nodded and fetched the proper attire as Elinora washed her face, cool water easing frayed nerves. Once clothing was laid out on the bed Elinora had not once slept in during this visit, she dismissed Dedra. The maid gave her one more long considering look before nodding and leaving.

Elinora dressed herself and paced. She hadn't been this much at a loss as to what to do in Maker knew how long. Maker. Chantry. How did they know? Wait. What did they know? Elinora realized she was assuming this was about Warden children, that somehow the Divine had gotten hold of Jurgen's journal, but it could be something else entirely. What if it was, as Eamon's comment had hinted, just a political maneuver by the Chantry? But still the question remained: why?

She needed more information. Leliana and Zevran were already checking their sources. It was time to ask questions at the top of the heap.

Quietly, Elinora made her way down the corridor to Alistair's chambers. The guards simply nodded to her as she slipped inside.

"I thought I said I wasn't to be disturbed." Alistair sat on the ledge by an open window, staring out. A warm summer breeze and the orange rays of the setting sun filtered into the room. He was still in armor.

Elinora put on a soft smile. "I guess your guards don't think I'm a disturbance."

He turned to her, for once not smiling, but he held out a hand. She crossed the room and took it. Still seated, Alistair pulled her to him, burying his head between her breasts, wrapping arms around her tightly. "I'm so sorry."

She stroked his hair and kissed his head. "Nothing to be sorry for."

"It wasn't even a proper wedding."

"It was a beautiful wedding. Was that why we've been delayed departing?" Her smile became a little more playful.

Still holding her, he shrugged. "Not entirely, but yes. It got Fergus here on time."

"That's a relief. He kept me from fainting half-way down the aisle."

Alistair looked up at her, pulled away some. "You almost fainted?"

"It was all a little shocking."

"Shocking? Why is getting married shocking? Its what normal couples do!"

She laughed a little, working to keep things light. "We are not a normal couple."

"And don't I know it!" Alistair released her and stood. He started pacing, anger and frustration surfacing. "Every once in a while I wonder what would have happened if we had met under other circumstances. Would you have even looked twice at me?"

"Alistair…"

"At Ostagar, did you look at me and think 'Now there's a fine man' or was it 'who's this idiot and why do I have to speak with him'? And then when I told you about the bastard bit, did you have to fight your revulsion or were you excited with the possibility of tumbling an ill-begotten prince?"

"Where did…tumbling?" She shrieked on the last word. Her face heated. "If you remember correctly, your majesty, you didn't want to be a prince, and I most certainly didn't toss aside my maidenhead for a notch on my bedpost!"

"Maybe you wanted to ensnare…"

"Ensnare?"

"You said your mother…"

"You leave my mother out of this!"

"But this is her dream, right? Her darling daughter married to a king?"

"How dare you!" She tried to rein in her temper. "You're not making sense. If marrying a king is all I wanted, then why did I leave you for Weisshaupt?"

"Why marry power when you can have your own too? You knew I'd wait for you."

"Wait for me? A dozen women, one wife and three children is what you call waiting?" She was yelling now, and was not trying to calm down.

"I…"

"Oh no you don't. You do not get to accuse me of noble hunting and infidelity in the same breath. You selfish bastard!"

The moment it was out of her mouth, she knew she'd tripped a step to far. But after his tirade, she was not going to apologize. In fact, she wasn't going to say anything else. Biting her lip, she turned and left the room.

Once back in her own chambers, alone, she allowed herself to wail as her world tumbled down.

A/N: I fear it may be an extra day or two until the next chapter. Had some thoughts that mean some re-writes on unpublished stuff, but I think its for the best *nudge nudge, wink wink *