A/N: Hehe, the following chapter is one of my favorites... especially the Sam-part. I enjoyed writing it so much it's evil... hope you like it. :) Besides - The idea to that scene came to me when I was listening to "Gives you Hell" by The All-American Rejects... Have fun!

Chapter 22 - Passion

When I woke, I was blinded by the light. My dreams had been so different, it was all black and red and sort of messy. Fighting, fire, fear... and something else. Something different, after the strain and the fighting were over. Something that was more rosy than fire-red.

It was dark after we left the fire place. The smell of fire was still in the air, the thick smoke still around us. I coughed and moved faster. Mano held on to my hand and matched my stride. We almost jogged until a gust of fresh air blew through the trees and we had left the battle scenery.

Mano stopped, causing me to stand still as well. Despite the darkness, both our eyes worked just fine. I watched as he breathed in deeply, his bare chest moving as he inhaled the woody scent. I looked at him, just noticing his appearance, seeing him as a man. Amazing. I felt a shiver running down my spine, and I reached out to touch his chest with my fingers. He lifted our interlocked hands around my back and pulled me closer. I sighed, relaxing, leaning into him and feeling save with someone like only Rebecca had made me feel save. Yet, it was so different from being held by Becky. Mano held me, letting go of my hand, but wrapping me completely in his arms.

"I'm happy you're with me tonight.", he told me, whispering in my ear, and I smiled in response.

"Um... do you want to walk home, or should we phase?", he asked, pulling back so he could see my face.

I shook my head, touching his neck. "I'd rather stay here with you for a while."

"Okay.", he whispered, reaching out to caress my cheek. I closed my eyes, but I opened them again to look at him, making sure he was still there, and seeing his earnest gaze, not looking away. He looked at me like... like Sam had looked at me. I stared back, feeling confused. Could that be possible?

In response to the confusion he seemed to feel emanating from me, he let go of me, softly pulling back, but resting his arm on my shoulder.

"No.", I said, without thinking about anything. Why would he let go?

He looked at my face for a minute, as intent as if he tried to see into my soul, into my mind, into my heart.

"Leah?"

I dropped my eyes, staring through the darkness onto the forest floor, before I lifted my head back to his face. "Yes?"

"You're unsure... about me? About... how you feel?"

I still looked at him, feeling unable to answer. But I needed to answer this one.

"No. I'm not... unsure about you. It's... about me."

I saw understanding flicker across his face.

"You're unsure... that I couldn't love you."

I was past wondering how he could read my mind. I nodded slowly. "Yes... I... I don't know if I can be loved... if I myself can be enough to keep someone. I'm... afraid to be disappointed again. I don't know if..."

He interrupted my doubts by putting his fingers to my lips. "Leah..."

I didn't dare to look at him, but he kept searching for my eyes. "Leah, you're a wonderful person. I adore how you are keeping up with everything, your toughness in all of this, and how you can still be so tender in loving the kids and caring for those around you. I wonder how anyone could not love you."

The compliments made me blush, and this time I dropped my eyes.

"Leah, I'm not promising you now that I'm not going to leave you, because I know you're not sure if you can trust a promise that's been broken before. I would, if you could believe I'm sincere, but I'll rather make time my ally to prove it to you."

I felt my stomach twisting, rumoring, as I processed all he said. I wanted to believe, to lean into him and trust again, but there was still fear, there was a corner of my mind that screamed to keep my distance. But that part had already been dwindling, diminishing over the last weeks.

Mano took my hand in his, gesturing toward the way back home. "Shall we go?", he asked, still giving me a probing glance. I nodded, and we started walking. We had enough miles ahead that we could walk in fast strides while having enough time to think and talk.

I was confused, thoughts wandering through my head, circling and spinning. Mano was silent, giving me time to think things through, just squeezing my hand from time to time.

When I looked at the man next to me, I felt lightheaded, thoughts spinning around what my heart tried to tell me – that he wanted to be with me, wanted me. And when I looked deeper, I felt that I wanted him, too. It wasn't rational, and it was strange to discover feelings like that in my so-long vacant heart. But this was what my heart yearned for – to lean on someone, to lean on him, to trust that he really meant what he told me, what he wanted me to believe.

There was my mind, however, still providing doubt, and telling me that I was insane to consider just giving up on my doubts and starting a new romance without any cares. It was insane to throw myself into it like there was nothing bad that could ever happen to me. Not only like it had never happened to me, but like it had never happened to anything. Like hurt didn't exist, like I'd never feel alone and disappointed again if I gave in and began this relationship tonight.

And still... that was what I had to do. Trust him, like I'd never been hurt. Trust that time would prove he meant it.

And that was all I wanted to do tonight.

"Mano?" I pulled his hand, standing still.

He turned to me, holding my hand in both of his to encourage me, to assure me all was well.

"Yes.", I told him. "I want time to show that you're being sincere with me."

"Okay.", he said, raising his eyebrows, still questioning.

"How do you want that time? Do you want... some time to think, before you decide?", he asked carefully.

"No.", I replied. This time, he had it wrong.

"I don't want you to leave me alone to think. I want you to stay."

I looked into his eyes and watched as his face stretched into a smile.

"Anytime.", he replied, and I hoped I would learn to believe.

As we walked on, I felt exuberant, glowing. I didn't feel the miles we walked. I felt new, moving onto new ground. And each time I saw Mano smiling at me, I believed it a bit more.

"Leah, we're almost there.", Mano said, breaking the peaceful silence. I halted, puzzled by his exclamation.

He laughed, pointing ahead. "Do you see the porch light at Mikala's back door?"

"Oh." I laughed with him, staring through the trees. We were close to the forest edge, less than a mile from home.

We walked slower, neither of us really wanting to part. I knew I was tired, but there was something more vital here. I moved closer to Mano, squeezing his hand. He smiled at me. We walked in silence until we reached the garden gate. Both of us stood still for a moment, looking into each other's face, until Mano reached out and took me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. Then, hesitantly, I pulled back, causing him to give me a questioning look and to wonder if he had done something wrong. I lifted my face to his, moving closer, charming his worries away distinctively.

This kiss was soft, careful, hesitation lingering in the air as he kissed me back. But it felt good, letting butterflies fluttering in my stomach. When I pulled back, I met his awed gaze. He looked at me in wonder, his gaze so loving and tender that it made the butterflies doing saltations in my stomach. Mano embraced me again, holding me tightly for some time, before he released me.

"Good night, Leah. I'll be back as soon as you want me."

"Mmh...", I said, hugging him again. "I can't wait till tomorrow."

"Sleep well." Maybe he guessed I would have asked him to stay, but we both knew getting some sleep would be a welcome accomodation now. He lifted my chin up to kiss me again, then he let go, opening the gate for me.

"Good night." I smiled at him, watching as he turned and walked away for tonight, the smile staying on my face while I walked toward the house.

I was still smiling at the memory when I walked to the bathroom to take a shower. Wow. It felt like a dream, and like the best one I'd had in years.

My rosy reverie was interrupted by voices from the kitchen. Many voices. More than I expected in this house so early in the morning. I got dressed and went to see what was going on.

"Morning, Leah."

I staggered back right in the kitchen door. There weren't just Embry and Seth – without his girlfriend, for an exception – but Jacob, Quil, Jared, Paul... the whole pack. Sam. Sam was there, too. I saw him, and I looked away again.

"Hey, guys.", I greeted them and went to the fridge to get myself some breakfast. It was quite low on anything edible, thanks to a very big bunch of werewolves... oh, well. I got myself some cornflakes and sat down, facing away from Sam. Still, I was so much aware of his presence.

Now that he was here, so close, being in the same room, it was harder than when he was far away in La Push. I had a hard time to force the spoon into my mouth, to chew and to swallow evenly. And I was glad Mano didn't have to see me like that. I felt hideous for raising his hopes like I had yesterday. It had felt so good, so right, but now, after seeing Sam again, I felt like I was crumbling again. It still hurt, it had been on the mend, but it felt like the wound was puckering, breaking again.

"...eh, Leah?" Embry gave me a nudge with his elbow, and my head snapped up. I hadn't listened to their conversation at all.

"Um. Yes." I tried to pay attention now.

"We thought we're on our own, and there goes this freaky priest and suddenly, we're surrounded by fire-breathing dogs – amazing!"

I nodded. "The Dog Warriors are great."

Quil grinned at me. "And you called us far too late.", he scolded.

"Sorry. Now you came here for nothing."

"Ah, no problem. I should have visited my sister anyway. My dad was so jealous..:", Jacob grinned.

"'Sides, we just needed to check how you're doing, so far from home."

I shot a glance at Sam, I couldn't hinder it, wondering what he was thinking. When I looked up, I caught him staring at me, too, and I dropped my gaze immediately.

I finished my breakfast without taking part in the conversation, then I got up and walked to the sink to rinse my bowl and the pile of dishes left from the former breakfast with more than a dozen of hungry wolves.

"Hey, Embry!", Collin shouted from the other end of the table. "Now we're here for nothing, will you show us the battle field at least?"

The others cheered, and the whole lot of them was out the back door, yearning for the adventure they'd already missed. The kitchen went quiet, and I started when I heard someone approach.

"May I help you, Leah?"

The voice sent a fluttering through my stomach. I swallowed twice before I tried to answer.

"S...sure."

He grabbed a towel and dried the dishes I was done rinsing.

"How are you, Leah?", he asked, seeking for my eyes, but I kept evading his gaze.

I shrugged. "Fine, thanks." I couldn't hinder the sarcasm to crawl into my voice.

"Are you coming home soon?"

I gasped and wheeled around. "Excuse me?"

"You belong to La Push, Leah."

I turned away from him, pressing my lips together stubbornly, scrubbing at the plates.

"Leah?"

I kept facing away. I wasn't going to reply to his stupid questions.

"Leah, would you talk to me, please? Leah, I miss you at home." He reached out, touching my chin, trying to turn my face around.

I jerked away from his touch.

"Yeah, right. You miss me. You're the one to suffer, right?", I snapped, stepping toward him with the knife I had been rinsing still in my hand, dripping with dishwater.

Right now, I didn't feel the love I'd had for him. I only felt rage, even hate. All this time, I'd only had hurt, hadn't hated Sam, but loved him and held on to it. But now, the scenery had changed. He had left me. Providence or not, I blamed him now. Maybe I didn't blame him so much for "choosing" Emily over me. But I blamed him, I hated him for thinking he still owned me, believing he still had any right to tell me where I belonged, where he wanted me to be.

"I'll tell you something, Sam Uley! I don't care anymore where you want me to be! I don't even care where you are. Go to hell! All this time, you thought your pity was enough to make this right. In fact, it gave me hell. If you hated me, I would have coped better. But these pretentions about how you cared about me, it was unbearable. Why, it didn't change anything!"

I glowered at him, but my vision was clear. I was in control now, in control of my temper and in control of the situation. For once, I was superior to Sam. He wouldn't push me down anymore.

"Leah...", he tried to placate me, his arms stretched out in front of him, maybe to defend himself, maybe to reach for me. I didn't care.

"Just shut up!", I snapped. "You know what, Sam? You're a stupid jerk trying to control my life, trying to keep me as your property. You chose Emily over me, and yet you still think you can keep me, if not as a lover, as a slave then. You think you owe me pity. But you're owing me a fucking four years of my life! Yet you're glad for my suffering, you're glad I haven't moved on."

I paused, taking a breath, a triumphant, evil smile stretching out on my face. I was enjoying his discomfort way too much.

"Well, watch me now as I am moving on! I've got my own life, and I wouldn't trade it for a lifetime of grieving over such a jackass like you are. And if you still think you own me – I hope it gives you hell, whenever you think of me. All this time, I've let everyone else suffer for what you've done to me – except for you. Now, I'll reverse it. Now it's your turn to suffer hell whenever you see my face in your head!"

Sam took a step back, his face twisting in agony. Yet, I didn't feel remorse. I glared at him, watching with pleasure as he processed what I had said.

"Thanks for your will to help out with the pack. But as far as you're trying to help me – I don't want any of it. Sod off!"

I felt my anger puff out and turned to the sink before he could suspect I wasn't comfortable with what I'd said. I heard the dish towel fall to the floor and his steps hurrying unsteadily toward the back door. I even felt the quivering as he ran through the garden, already phasing. And I could tell he would rather be alone than face his whole pack. I smiled in satisfaction, but still, it didn't take long until I started shivering and had to sit down. Despite all the satisfaction of spitting it all into his face and the relief of having it over with, I began feeling guilty now – and, to my own chagrin, I also felt pain. His pain was still my pain as well...