Duty's Choice: The Bastards of Ferelden - Chapter 17

The Long and Winding Road

Excepts from the journal of Warden Commander Elinora Cousland

9:35 Dragon – Summer 3, 16th day

The Circle Tower

Wynne, The Fade and a magic potion to help me conceive. Elfroot, a petal from Alistair's rose, Andraste's Ashes, clear water. Let everything dissolve, drink when clear. Sounds like a bloody fairy tale. I'm going to do it anyway.

Alistair is very enthusiastic. He has a lot of faith in Andraste's Ashes, which makes sense considering that we've seen them work. I think he had a lot of faith in Wynne as well. He misses her.

I think Cailin caught a bit of our conversation. He was giving me the strangest look.

Petra had yet another thousand questions. She's coming with us, claiming we need a real healer, especially if this works. Or was it especially if it doesn't work?

We leave tomorrow morning for Redcliff.

9:35 Dragon – Summer 3, 20th day

Between the Tower and Redcliff

Alistair can be so impossible sometimes.

I love him, but really? If we want to keep Haven a secret, which we agreed to, then the king and all his entourage cannot go storming the village. But he's still pushing. Hopefully Teagan can talk him out of it.

My plan is to take the Wardens. It'll be good bonding, see how they handle the wilderness. And he can't argue that I won't have a good escort.

Like I need an escort.

Cailin has become sullen and quiet. I have no idea why. He's insisted on riding with me everyday since the Tower.

9:35 Dragon – Summer 3, 24th day

Redcliff

Teagan has successfully talked Alistair out trying to go to Haven. The Arl agrees with me about a smaller party being a good idea. And he wants me to stay behind as well.

Men.

I would think by now Alistair would know that if I don't want to be somewhere, I can escape. Again.

Petra finds this all very funny. She's been poking at me regularly to assess my fitness for carrying a baby. Outside of the taint (yet another Warden secret spilled), she hasn't found anything wrong with me. She should talk to my mother. I wish she could talk to my mother.

I miss my mother.

Redcliff Castle – the next day

Elinora studied the maps spread out on the table before her. Considering the distance and the terrain, it was going to take awhile to get to Haven and then to Orzammar where she would rendezvous with the royal party. She didn't like the idea of being away for so long, but the root of her feelings ran more towards longing than worry.

She had just set aside a map and picked up a supply list, when she caught a small movement from the doorway. "I see you there, Cailin. Practicing being sneaky?"

He came in carefully, not even five years old and already so wary. "I don't want you to go, Commander."

"You don't need to call me Commander, Cailin." She smiled warmly. The boy was so stoic and formal when he wanted to be. Alistair brought out the child in him, but she seemed to bring out the soldier.

Cailin took a few more cautious steps towards her. "I don't know what to call you."

Elinora shrugged. "You can call me Elinora, or just El if you like." Cailin shifted uncomfortably. "What do you call Alistair?"

"Uncle or majesty."

She held out her hand to the boy. "You could use Aunt."

Cailin looked at her hand and shook his head.

"What would you like to call me, pup?"

Cailin raised his head, his blue eyes fully meeting her blue-green. "Mother."

"Oh Cailin." Elinora's heart melted, then reformed with more love than she had ever known in one moment. Every ounce of maternal feeling rushed through her veins. She reached out and pulled the boy to her, crushing him to her chest, wrapping the little soul in protective arms. She felt the tears fall, and did nothing to stop them.

With a small sob and a big smile, she released Cailin, keeping her hands firmly on his shoulders. "Yes, you may call me Mother."

Cailin returned her smile with extra brightness. He kissed her wet cheek and took her hand, his small fingers tightly gripping two of hers. "Come on, we need to tell Uncle!"

Elinora rose and allowed the boy to lead her to Alistair, mother and son running through the halls of Redcliff.