She knew the Lightwoods and Jace would be returned in exactly 3 minutes, and for this Clary was not only exstatic but nervous.
Her racing thoughts kept traveling from the forbidden moments of lust that caught Jace and her off guard, to the last night she had seen Jace. That night there had been no reason to stay away, no reason to fight a feeling she had never believed to be real before she met him.
She thought things were going to work out perfectly, she thought that now they could just be happy, that they could enjoy eachother's presence without the woes of being brother and sister. Her hopes were high that some how, some way Jace and Clary would get their wish, she just didn't know what Jace's wish would be.
Clary heard the opening of the portal, heard Magnus and than greeted Magnus as he was the first to get out, she didn't let her eyes wander up towards the display in front of her until she heard a screech and felt arms squeezing Clary.
Moments later she realized it was not infact Jace who had run to her the moment he laid eyes on her,
but Isabelle. Clary looked up and smiled at Isabelle and hugged her back before she was released and abandoned for Simon, as Isabell flung herself onto him, much to the chargrin of Maia standing nearby. From what Clary understood, Maia had been inseperable from Simon's side since their retrun to New York. He had explained that he didn't know who to choose, Maia or Isabelle however Clary knew that he was only troubled because he knew what it felt like to have unrequited love, and that was something he never wanted anyone else to have to bear through.
Simon was much too kind hearted sometimes, and much too stupid. But as Clary soon realized everyone was out of the portal talking about their journeys, over in the corner of the room sat Magnus and Alec and much to Clary's surprize they were making out. 'Huh guess things change when you're finally outta the closet'. Over in the main hall of the Institute she saw Robert and Mayrse talking in hushed tones to Clary's Mom and Luke.
The one person she was so eager to see, the one person she had been waiting 3 months to see was no where to be seen. With a saddened expression much like despair, Clary walked towards Isabelle, Simon, and Maia to ask her where Jace was.
"Well you see Simon, we spent so much time going to these retched meetings discussing how to get over our "differences" with downworlders to better welcome them to Idris, and I kept saying 'Oi! My boyfriend is a downworlder what do I need to be here for?' as you can guess they weren't too pleased by my- OH Clary! there you are!" Clary noticed that she seemed geniunly pleased to see her, and she was in fact cheery as if nothing was the matter, there was nothing to hide.
"Hey Izzy, I was just wondering, did Jace get detained longer than the rest of you? He doesn't seem to be here.." she let herself trail off getting quieter at the end embarressed by her willingness to admit she had been looking foward to this day since she left Idris.
" Isabelle looked confused, pursed her lips in a way that made Clary jealous of her ability to look so beautiful and seductive without even meaning to. "Well that is truly odd he was out of the portal before I got out, he must've had to go to the bathroom or something, I'm sure he's around here somewhere" she tried to make it sound as if it was the most normal thing in the world for Clary's, well... her kinda sorta boyfriend to not have greeted her when he got here but Clary wasn't fooled.
She understood what was going on, just like she had feared for several months now, Jace was no longer interested now that it wasn't forbidden.
She tried to nod a give a simple smile and stalked out of the room and up to elevator and rushed to her room with a slam of the door before she finally slunk down the door and let her tears fall. She was so stupid, so very very stupid to think that Jace stil wanted her. It was obvious from the begining, Jace was only interested in things he couldn't have, once he knew they were no longer relatives it was all over for Jace. He might've tried to do it at the fireworks that night, but lets be honest what kind of boyfriend would say no when his girlfriend asked him to stay the night. She was so daft.
Mid through her crying hysterics she heard a knock on her door, thinking it was her mother asking her why she disapeared she stood up, whiped the tears away from her eyes and opened the door with a forced smile.
It was a boy, a boy she had never seen before, he had dark intense green eyes with wild flowing brown hair. His strong jawline led to a strong neck and an even stronger physique. he was in fact beautiful, beautiful and leaning towards her with a worried expression on his face. "are you alright? I heard crying and I got the wierdest sensation that something was the matter in this room" she couldn't help but laugh at the look of complete concern on his face, he looked like the kind of guy who would defend your honor in a duel, a real knight.
"Good to see that you have a sense of humor, the names Dimitri, Dimitri Raschova and you my dear?" Oh he was indeed a knight a knight with a Russian accent always a weak spot for the weak hearted girls. "Clary, Clary Fray. Did you come from Idris too then?" She was glancing at his body now, gazing at his gorgeous body with the scars of marks. He deffidently wasn't here before they got here she would've known, he must of come with them, but then why didn't she see him when she was downstairs. Only he and Jace were missing, oh no. Jace maybe Jace was just showing him to a room quickly before rushing back down the stairs to see her, what if now he thought she didn't want to see him. No, however much Jace may or may not have changed, he would never be as humble as to think that someone didn't want him.
Clary frowned and a tear escaped all before Dimitri could mutter out how he had managed to come to the institute. Had she been listening she would've heard that he did infact come with the Lightwoods' that he was going to be her new trainer, that they would be starting early in the morning and that she had best get sleep. As it was Clary heard none of this except fro the end "so I will see you at 5 am in the weapons room alright?" Clary showed horror on her face as he walked away, no clue what he wanted to see her in the weapons room at 5 am for. So she slipped back into her room and grabbed her sketchpad.
As she flipped through the pages she noticed a lot of the pictures were of Jace, different ways the light reflected his face, different angles of his smiles, him looking down at her just an array of various poses. She supposed that she was obsessed, that perhaps she needed to move on and clear her head, but before she even noticed she was doing it she was drawing a picture. Jace was off center on the right hand side of the page, his angel wings were white and gold and they matched his hair so well, on the left hand side of the page was Dimitri brandashing wings of black and dark shades of green. They looked like avenging angels fighting for the peace of the world. Two sides of a coin, both contrasting the other but working together in perfect harmony. Clary fell asleep peacefully that night unwillingly thinking of the avenging angel who broke her. -
Jace was working in the weapons room, as soon as he had exited the portal he saw Clary's face, she was looking down at the ground studying it so intently he was sure she could see right through it. He knew he had to distance himself from Clary, he knew that she was in danger enough as it was and she did NOT need to add more of it to her. The Chansoler or so that daft man at the meeting called himself was convinced that Clary was the only way to move foward as a people, that the shadowhunters needed to one up the downworlders in some way. They were going to try and exploit her, to use her and bend her to their will. He couldn't imagine his fiery red head at the front lines of battle using fighting runes or whatever they thought her capable of. Jace wasn't ignorant he knew this is what they would want from her in the beginging and now it is his fault that she is in this situation in the first place.
All Jace has to do is keep his distance and hope that it deters her from becomming a shadowhunter, a life without Clary by his side would be hard, but not nearly as hard as a life without her at all. He knew he was doing what was best for her, even if it wasn't what was best for him.
He heard the weapons room door open and the light footsteps that did not belong to Alec or Isabelle, he knew it was 'him' before he even spoke.
"I see you're hiding, how clever of you" Dimitri spat out in a harsh manor, as if he knew anything. Jace scoffed at this admission and continued ignoring the ignorant russian. "I met her already you know, she was quite fetching, stopped my heart the moment I saw her tear stained face and those piercing green eyes" Jace winced at the mention of a Clary with tear stained face, he knew it would hurt her but he didn't need it stuffed in his face. "Of course it is no concern of mine as to why she cried, only that she will be training with me bright and early tomorrow. I shall take it easy on her at first of course. I'll help her ease her body into a life of fighting, soon she will be better than you." he chuckled more to himself which made Jace all the more hot tempered, but he had been working at this, for 3 long months working on letting things go, even if it meant bitting his tongue off.
He shrugged easily and walked out of the room and up to Hodge's old garden. This place felt so at home to Jace,
he needed to clear his head, needed to relax and forget about her, forget about his feelings. Sacrafice himself for her. He heard her gasp as soon as she saw him, she was clearly concerned, didn't know if she wanted to turn around and leave or stalk right up to Jace and smack him. He knew she would be mad, and upset but she was still unpredictable.
"Jace" she practicly whispered, I could tell it hurt her to speak my name.