75. Mirror

Characters: Ichimaru Gin

Pairings: GinHitsu

Summary: Ichimaru Gin didn't like mirrors because they didn't reflect him. Quite literally. When he passed a mirror, Ichimaru would see him who was not him.

Ichimaru Gin didn't like mirrors.

When Rangiku asked, he diverted her attention to other things.

When Izuru asked, he merely smiled mysteriously and recited superstition.

But in all seriousness, Ichimaru Gin didn't like mirrors because they didn't reflect him. Quite literally.

When he passed a mirror, a stream, or just a reflective surface in general, Ichimaru would see him who was not him.

The man he saw on the other side looked like him, silver hair, thin fingers, and blue eyes, but was not him. The man he saw on the other side dressed like him, a captain's haori and standard shinigami uniform, but was not him. The man he saw on the other side even had habits like him, light steps and loose sword grip, but was not him.

The man on the other side of the mirror had a smile like him, wide and thin, but it wasn't his smile.

His smile was meant to disarm and cause weary. But the other had the smile of a man who honestly means no harm and wishes to spread his happiness with those around him.

It was Aizen Sousuke's smile. Only real.

Sometimes when he passes a mirror, he would see that man looking back at him with a clear smile and honest blue eyes.

And most of the time, his mirror self would not be alone.

Next to him would be Matsumoto Rangiku, looking positively radiant, looking like she was the most fortunate woman in the world. Or next to him would be Kira Izuru, looking strong and confident, looking like he had everything in the world and more.

Once, when Ichimaru was much younger and still a vice captain, next to him would be Hinamori Momo. She would be looking at his other with admiration and joy. At the time, Ichimaru remembered staring at his reflection and wondering if the girl had even purposefully glanced his way before.

This had not always been the case. His reflection used to be him. A poor boy shunned and unwanted in the worst district of Rukongai.

But after meeting the devil, his reflection became someone else. Someone whose smiles were honest and good.

And true to his title as a prodigy, Ichimaru realized that what he saw in the mirror was who he could have been.

Not as the snake, but as the fox.

A playful individual, prone to tricks and general mischief.

A loyal individual, working toward the betterment of all.

An individual who would have made those around him happy.

And sometimes, he would stare into the mirror hours at a time. He would stare at his childhood friend's beautiful smile and his heart would ache. He would stare at his vice captain's confident expression and his mind would ponder. He would look at himself, his own content and kind expression, and question:

Could…could I really do that? If I…

But then, a quiet voice would ask, "Are you okay?"

And all doubts would escape his mind.

The world would refocus. The table, the window, the tea cups would refocus. And next to him, Hitsugaya Toushiro would be there waiting for a response.

Pressing a light kiss to his young lover's forehead, Ichimaru Gin turned away from mirror and focused on the teal eyes looking up at him questioningly.

"Ya."

He knew he would never trade moments like these for anything. Not even the perfect world in the mirror.

Ichimaru Gin liked mirrors.

When Rangiku asked, he diverted her attention to other things.

When Izuru asked, he merely smiled mysteriously and recite adages.

But in all seriousness, Ichimaru Gin liked mirrors because they didn't reflect him. Quite literally.

When he passed a mirror, a stream, or just a reflective surface in general, Ichimaru would see him who was not him.

The man on the other side of the mirror would have a smile like him, wide and thin, but it wasn't his smile.

His smile was meant to show gratitude for his position, his friends, and his life. But the other had the smile of a man who didn't believe in anyone and concealed dangerous secrets.

The mirror showed him why he should be thankful. It showed him to treat those around him well because he's already seen their distraught faces from the other side of the mirror.

But sometimes, Ichimaru Gin would look into the mirror and stare for hours. He would watch his other's free and unchallenged spirit. He would watch his other freely exert power over others. He would watch his other with a certain Tenth Squad captain.

And he would wonder:

Could…could I really do that? If I…

-END-

A/N: Okay, this was a bit confusing I'm sure because I change POVs right in the middle. But I hope it came through that the second part was about Ichimaru's mirror self.

I think that no matter how people say their lives suck or what not: the grass is always greener on the other side. It's merely about how one buckles down and sees the best in what one has.

Yes, my own pitiful whining about how life sucked and what not inspired this. Haha, strangely enough (or maybe not that strangely), my mother told me to grow up and look in the mirror.

"Look at what you have! Clothes, a home, a healthy body, a computer, what else do you want?"

Yes mom. (how embarrassing, still being scolded at my age)

Thanks for reading! Please drop a comment, feedback, crit, or just a "hey update"!

~sodesne