Chapter 8

By the time morning rolled around, without hearing from Ianto, Rhiannon was going crazy with fear. It was all she could to not go out and search for him or, worse, calling up the area A&E's to see if someone matching his description had been found hurt overnight. The fact that Jack, who had stayed to see if Ianto would show up, was hardly concerned for his welfare just made her more on edge. When, around 8am, Jack made a comment as to how Ianto must really have a death wish, Rhiannon just lashed out, not caring who it was she was lashing out to.

"How dare you."

"Excuse me?"

"How dare you give so little regard towards my brother. Don't you understand, yet, that he does have a death wish? That at this very time, he could be hurt, or dead. Because he is not here, at this moment, I am left to wonder all of that. This would not be the first time time he has stormed off and tried to kill himself."

"Then perhaps he should be dead."

SLAP

"Get out."

"I'm Sorry?"

"I said, get out. You are no longer welcome here. And since I own the place, not Ianto, I'm telling you to get out. Now."

Jack took one one more look at her, before turning towards the door. "Fine. Tell Ianto to call me when he finally decides to show up."

"I'm here. Do I still have to call you?" Ianto said from the door way, Tosh standing quietly behind him.

Jack took a long look at Ianto. Ianto looked liked shit. He had red-rimmed eyes, disheveled hair, and it looked as though he hadn't slept all night. He looked at Tosh and raised his eyebrow is question. At her slight shake, he nodded.

"Good, your home. Your sister's been worried. Tosh, lets go," he said, passing through the door. Turning back, he said, "I expect you to be home when I call tonight, Ianto. No more disappearing acts."

"Yes, Sir."

##

"Ianto, love, what happened last night," Rhiannon asked after Ianto woke up later that day.

"I remembered what day it was."

"What day is that?"

"I know its only been two years, but it still hurts, thinking about it. And this is the first year without Lisa to help me coup with it."

"Ianto, what are you talking about?"

"The battle of Canary Wharf."

"Have you talked to Jack about this?"

Ianto laughed. "Oh, Rhi, I needed that." He waved off her concerned look. "You don't understand. See, Jack never has been concerned with Torchwood One. He could care less about us survivors, about what we go through every year. The only reason I got a job with him was because I looked good in a suit, he loved my coffee, and I got him a pet petrodon. He refused to hire me at first because of the fact that I worked at One."

"But surely they would observe the anniversary of its downfall, or at least let you observe it. I mean, he must have some kind of decency."

"He has his own sense of honor, yes. And last year he was decent enough to let me have the day off when I asked, but..."

"But what?"

"It felt like I was a charity case. And he did nothing to stop Suzie and Owen from making quacks at me for weeks after. It was only because of Lisa that I was able to get through the anniversary without hurting myself."

##

Tosh walked up to Jack's office after Owen and Gwen left for the day. She knew that Jack had questions for her, about what happened last night. She only hoped that he would accept the answers, even the one's that he didn't like.

"You wanted to see me, Jack?" She said, walking into the room.

"Yes. Have a seat Tosh," he said, moving the papers on his desk aside. Finally, he looked up at her. "So mind telling me how you ended up bring Ianto home this morning?"

"He came over to my place last night. He was in a really bad place, Jack. I don't know what you two were talking about last night when he fled," she held up a hand to him,"and I know that it isn't my place to know, but what ever it was hurt him. Deeply."

"So he didn't say anything about what happened?

"He said a lot of things, in between bouts of crying and near hysteria. I was able to calm him, eventually. And I'm not really sure what, if any, of his mutterings were true or not." She sighed, debated with herself, then looked up. "There was one thing he said that has me deeply concerned. He said that his life meant nothing, that without something to look after, his life wasn't worth living."

Jack sighed. "I was afraid of that."

"You don't think that he's a risk, do you?"

"To Torchwood? No. His loyalty is his one fault, and right now his loyalty to Torchwood is all he has. To himself? Yes. I took a look at his medical records. If his sister wasn't staying with him, I'd put him on a suicide watch."

"That bad?"

"Yes. Hopefully, the worst is over and he will start to get better. I would hate to lose someone like him just because he killed himself."

"Jack," Tosh said, hesitantly, "have you thought about lessening the restriction on us going to see him? He seems like he needs his friends around and I don't think that includes you at the moment."