"I have never loved, 'til I first met you."

Source Unknown

Chapter 4

I'm getting closer.

So close, I can see the surface.

Soon, you will be no more.

Soon, I WILL BE IN CONTROL!

My eyes shot open as I nearly fell out of the bed. I was covered in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. What was that? That voice? I rubbed my eyes and figured it was just a dream. I turned and looked towards the sleeping figure next to me. Still out cold. I'm not surprised, after what we did last night. I looked for my discarded pajama pants and boxers. I picked them up from the floor and slid them on. I couldn't find my shirt anywhere, I figured it must be buried somewhere in the sheets. I quietly left the room and headed down stairs. I was still a little shaken up by that voice I heard before. It sounded just like me almost. I opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of orange juice, then went over to the cabinet and got a glass. I wasn't able to do things in one task anymore, since I couldn't really hold more then one thing at a time. That pissed me off a little, but I was getting used to it.

I carefully poured myself a glass. I put the juice back in the fridge and grabbed my glass. I walked over to the window to see what the weather was like, but I didn't expect to see what I saw. I couldn't suppress a yelp of surprise, not only that, but I also dropped my glass.

Seeing the face of Renji Abarai wasn't what I was planning. Let alone he was looking into the house like some type of rookie burglar would with his face pressed up against the glass. I was frozen for a moment, then I came to my senses. I felt a vain pop in my head as I headed towards the front door and swung it open.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I shouted out the door.

Rukia Kuchiki was also there. I saw her blush a little, I had forgotten I was topless.

"Just get in," I said and moved for them to come in. I went into the kitchen to get some paper towel and began to clean up the juice and broken glass. I didn't even get a sip of it, that made me kinda sad.

"How are you feeling, Hitsugaya taicho?" Kuchiki had said as she closed the door.

"I've been better." I said as I threw away the glass a dirty towel. "So what brings you two here?"

"Hollow movement." Abarai said. "Haven't you felt it?"

I paused at this. I haven't really felt any reiatsu to be honest. "No, I haven't." Why should I lie?

"Well, we were sent here to just do some patrolling. We thought we'd see what Ichigo was up to."

"He's still asleep."

"Not anymore." said a voice from the stairs. "What's going on down here?" Ichigo said as he came down. I noticed he too has failed to find his shirt.

"They wanted to see what you were up to. I also broke a glass." I said as I went to sit down at the table.

"Hm, oh, that's okay. See what I was up to?" Ichigo said as he pulled out the orange juice and two glasses.

"Well, actually, we're patrolling the town. There's been an increase in the amount of hollow lately and Soul Society just wants to be safe." Kuchiki explained.

"I see," Ichigo poured me a glass as well as himself. I took a sip of juice, finally. It felt good sliding down my dry throat. Ichigo began to talk again but I couldn't quite understand what he was saying.

It was there again.

I'm coming.

What is this?

I'm getting closer.

You're not Hyorinmaru.

I AM HYORINMARU!

My eyes shot open. When had I closed them? I was staring into Ichigo's worried face, his hands on my shoulders. I noticed I was sweating again.

"Are you okay?" Ichigo asked in a soft voice. I glanced over at Kuchiki and Abarai, they also had worried looks on their faces.

"I'm.....gonna go take a shower," I said as I got up and ran upstairs. I closed the bathroom door and leaned against the wall panting. It was hurting me, my shoulder. I clutched it in pain and slide down the wall. Then I felt something. Something under my skin. I felt with my fingers the bottom of the stump that was my right arm. Something was there, under my skin, and I knew it wasn't bone. What the hell was this.

Guess there was only one way to find out.

I slipped out of the bathroom quietly, I could hear them talking down stairs. I went into one of Ichigo's drawers and found what I was looking for. A pocket knife. I went back into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. I felt where this thing was and positioned the knife there. I took a deep breath and cut. Fuck this hurt. Blood began to run down and drip into the sink. When I felt I've made a wide enough slit I placed the knife in the sink. I took deep breaths and began to feel around. That's when I felt it. It felt like glass almost. I wrapped my fingers around it and painfully slid it out. I couldn't make out what it was because it was covered in blood. I put the water on and began to rinse it off, completely ignoring my bleeding arm. I was very curious as to what it was. It looked like a shard. Wait. This couldn't be the---

"Toshiro!"

I jumped when I heard Ichigo call my name.

"What are you doing?!" he asked as he grabbed a towel and pressed it against my bleeding stump.

"Jezz, Toshiro what were you think?" I could tell Ichigo was worried.

"This was in me," I said as I lifted up the shard that now glistened purple in the light. I saw the shock in Ichigo's face. Then something I didn't expect happened, he grabbed it out of my hand and gave me a stern look.

"Oi!"

"Enough!" he shouted. I just stared at him. Did I make him angry? I looked away from his stern eyes and grabbed the towel holding it up to my cut. "I can do it myself!" If he was going to be nasty for no reason, then I was too.

"Toshiro..." His voice sounded softer.

"I can do it myself. You can go away now." I didn't look at Ichigo after that. I heard him get up and leave.

What just happened?

What the fuck just happened here?

After I bandaged myself up and cleaned everything up, I headed downstairs. I looked around and saw no one there. I walked over to the table where I saw a little note.

Went to Urahara's quickly. Don't wait up if you're tired.

Ichigo

P.S. I'm sorry

I crumbled up the little note and headed upstairs. I quickly got dressed and headed out the door. I walked along the dark, quiet streets, lost in my own thoughts. I stepped into Urahara's shop, but I stopped when I heard voices. I identified each one as they spoke.

"He said it was inside him!" Ichigo.

"Inside him?" Abarai.

"But Ichigo, that's the Hogyoku, or at least a shard of it." Kuchiki.

"This could be bad. If that was in him, not only could there be more, but the shards could be feeding off his reiatsu. Or worst." This was Urahara. I could feel myself shaking. So it was the Hogyoku, but why the hell was it inside me? Were there more shards in other places of my body too?

"Worst?" Ichigo said. I could hear the deep concern in his voice. "What's going to happen to happen to Toshiro?!"

"The same thing that happened to you, Ichigo."

There was silence. What happened to Ichigo that can happen to me? Then he spoke.

"No, I won't let that happen."

"Ichigo, if it's already started they'll feel his reiatsu and come for him. Someone at his level of power going through this can't be left unintended."

I wanted to go in there and shout and demand to know what they were talking about, but I couldn't move.

"Ichigo," Kuchiki now spoke. "If it is happening, Shinji and the others can help him. They helped you, didn't they?"

Shinji, that name sounded familiar.

"Toshiro's not turning into a vizard!"

"Vizard?" The door swung open before I even realized I had spoken.

"Toshiro..." Was that fear in Ichigo's eyes?

"Vizard?" I said again.

"Why don't you come sit down." Urahara said.

He explained everything to me. How Aizen tried to use me after I had been defeated, how he tried to use the Hogyoku, how the Hogyoku shattered during his attempt.

"But why did it shatter?" I asked. My voice sounded distant, faint.

"That, we still don't know. Hitsugaya, I knew you to tell me something." I looked up at Urahara. "Have you been hearing a voice, a voice that is not your zanpakto?"

What are you going to say?

I'm getting closer by the way.

So close, I can almost taste it.

"Toshiro?" Ichigo placed a hand on my shoulder.

"It's getting closer, louder,.........and clearer." I said. Ichigo squeezed my shoulder and looked away, as did everyone else.

"Hitsugaya, why don't you get some sleep. I promise you we'll talk about it in the morning." Urahara said. I just nodded, I didn't know what else to do. Ichigo helped me up and Abarai and Kuchiki set out to patrol the town tonight. Ichigo lead me to a small room in the back of Urahara's shop. I set myself down on the futon and grabbed Ichigo's arm.

"Don't leave," I mumbled.

"I won't," he said as he bent down and hugged me tightly. "I never will. I promise, I'll take care of you."

I buried my face into Ichigo's chest. I was scared. I was scared of what was happening.

But I solved my puzzling feelings for Ichigo.

"I love you," Ichigo said.

"I love you, too," I said, and those word had the most truth in them then anything I have ever said.

In both my life and death.