Tony was more nervous then he had been in the elevator with Gibbs. After he had sat down Vance had said nothing to him and just looked at the papers he had in front of him. Finally he said something
"So Agent DiNozzo you know why I have called you up to see me?" Tony lightly smiled
"Yeah I have a fair idea" Vance stared at him blankly
"Ok I want to show you something" Vance picked up the controller to the TV screen on the wall and pressed a few buttons and the video of the integration with Corporal Matthews started. Tony mentally kicked himself; he was defiantly going to have a bad talk with the Director. Tony sat there silently watching himself on the screen. Vance sat there just as silently as him but he would look over at Tony a couple of times when it got really violent or Tony said something extreme. When Gibbs had came in Vance turned the screen off and turned to Tony with a expression saying 'so what do you have to say for yourself'
"Well Agent DiNozzo I think it was quite an extreme altercation don't you think?" Tony took a pause to make sure what he said was the right thing to say
"I think I did what I had to, to control the suspect" Vance narrowed his eyes at Tony
"Yes you did well in controlling the subject considering the odds against you, but do you think that you got a bit over protective of Agent David?" Tony shook his head
"No I would do the same for any of my team, McGee, Gibbs" Tony knew the Director was digging at something
"Well this is the second time you have had offending altercations against you in which I would say they both involved you protecting Agent David, am I wrong?" Tony let out a sigh. That's where Vance was going with this
"Yes but I protect my team no matter the cost to myself" Vance gave Tony a look that worried him
"What is your relationship with Agent David?" Tony narrowed his eyes at the Director
"We are partners"
"And out of work?" Tony didn't really know. She came to his house most nights in the week, and the weekend. She also stayed sometimes, but they had done nothing more then share a bed because they were friends… yeah they were definitely good friends
"We have a friendship outside of work, but I do not see how this effects what happened today, friends outside of work or not I would have still done the same"
" Yes I understand that but I am just trying to figure out the meaning behind some of your more…how shall we say…aggressive approaches" Tony stayed silent but Vance was pretty sure he knew what it was that triggered Tony, he had been watching him ever since Ziva had left back to her father
"You had a ruff time last summer did you not?" Tony still stayed silent and Vance continued knowing he was listening
"Most nights you stayed late when everyone else had gone home, you always looked as though you only had a few hours sleep the next morning. Do you blame yourself for David staying in Israel?" Tony looked up at the Director thus answering his question
"And you blame yourself for what she went through too don't you?"
"Of course I do how could I not, it was my entire fault. Everything" Vance nodded understanding what Tony was doing to himself
"And today all the bottled up anger you have against the people who hurt her, you let some of that out on Matthews because he hurt her?" Tony wasn't sure how Vance knew all this
"Yeah I guess that's what happened. I didn't mean for it to get personal, it just happened" Vance nodded again agreeing
"Well DiNozzo you have had a ruff time I know, but I will let you off this time. But next time if an altercation becomes too personal I may have to send you to see someone about it" Tony actually was happy with the Director for once. He was being genuine, and to him of all people
"Thank you Director" Tony stood up to leave
"Agent DiNozzo" Tony looked at the Director
"I do advise you talk to someone about it though. Keeping it bottled up won't help, trust me letting it out helps" Tony nodded and walked out of his office.
Tony was glad he made it out of there alive. Before he went in he was expecting to be so deep in the shit he wouldn't be able to pull himself out, but Vance had seen through him and got sort of… well personal in a way with him saying he understood? He didn't think Vance had a side like that but he sort of liked it. Tony headed down the stairs to the bullpen and he noticed people were looking at him and whispering. He didn't like it but he tried to ignore it, staying collective with himself. As he entered the bullpen McGee stared at him but Tony didn't say anything he just sat at his desk and rested his head in his hands. Gibbs and Ziva weren't in the bullpen at the moment so Tony thought he would be able to be left alone with his thoughts, he was wrong.
"Tony, are you alright?" McGee sounded worried and Tony hadn't really herd his probie worried about him like this before. Tony didn't raise his head from his hands as he answered
"Yeah I'm fine Tim" Wow McGee was beginning to think he wasn't, Tony had never that he can recall call him Tim seriously before
"What did the Director have to say?" Tony really just needed to have himself and his thoughts for a moment; he could explain things to McGee later on
"McGee… can I please just be left alone for a bit, or is that too much to ask?" Tony raised his head and saw McGee was a bit hurt by Tony shutting him out when he was just trying to help
"McGoo I know you were just trying to help, I'm sorry" McGee was going to make a comment on the rule about saying sorry, but he let it go. He would not pester Tony if he wanted to think
"It's ok Tony" and McGee gave a slight smile in which Tony rested his head back down in his hands on the desk so he could finally have his thoughts to himself.
Ziva. I think I should just tell her. Maybe the things I have bottled up I can share with her. She will understand and I hope with me opening up to her she will open up to me and give me some closure that I'm dying to have. I think I should be honest to her and say the things that need to be said. I love her and I know I do, I have for a while. Vance was right I have a lot bottled up that needs to get out. And Gibbs being open and personal like that? That is something new. When I think about it I am glad I did what I did, he deserved it for the things he has done, and hurting someone that is mine doesn't make him any better. Since when was she mine? She's not mine yet but I am hers. Next time though I will still protect her but I will be calmer within myself.
Tony was brought out of his thoughts by the vibrating of his phone in his pocket. He lifted his head and lent back in his chair as he opened his phone. McGee watched out of the corner of his eye. Tony read his text
Hey Tony. Do you think when your done with the Vance and Gibbs you could come get me from the lab? With a mixture of talking and music it's a bit loud for me and Abby won't let me leave unless someone is with me.
I would like that someone to be you. Please.
Ziva x
Tony couldn't refuse Ziva. He also wanted to see her.
I'll be right down
Tony x
Tony stood up and McGee looked up at him
"I'm just going out for some air" and McGee nodded. Tony headed for Abby's lab. When he got down there the music wasn't as loud, it was actually quite quiet. When he walked in Ziva was sitting on a stool next to Abby who was typing on her computer while she talked to Ziva. As soon as Ziva felt his presence she turned and faced him. They just stared for a bit then Abby turned noticing Ziva was turned around.
"Oh hey Tony. What can we do for you?" he broke eye contact with Ziva and looked at Abby
"Actually I'm here to take Ziva off your hands" Abby turned to Ziva
"Oh. Well ok then she's all yours" Abby had seen Ziva text someone before and now she knows just who that someone was.
"Thanks for watching me Abby even though I do not think I need watching" Abby raised her eyebrows
"Ziva, Ducky said to have someone watch you, Tony don't let her out of your sight" Abby turned to Tony as she instructed him his task. He nodded in agreement
"Not a problem Abby" Ziva jumped off the stool and gave Abby a quick hug the turned to Tony. He smiled at her and she smiled back. A silent agreement that they were both glad to see each other. The both silently headed out of the lab and into the elevator. They silently walked out of the NCIS building. They stayed in the navel yard but silently walked to the bases little park area they had. They took a seat under one of the shady trees to stay out of the hot sun that enveloped in the day. They sat there for a moment just looking at each other, they did that all the time and when they did it was comforting.
"Thank you Tony" Tony thought she was talking about him getting her out of Abby's lab
"No problem Ziva, I don't mind watching over you" she smiled at his caring comment but that wasn't what she was meaning
"Yes thank you for that. But I was thanking you for…for protecting me" they were sitting side by side looking at each other
"Ziva you don't have to thank me, it's an automatic response" she was slightly confused and he saw it
" In any situation that involves you getting hurt I'll always be there protecting you because I cant stand to see you hurt by anyone again when I can stop it, I made that mistake and wont do it again" Tony pushed a strand of her hair of her face and put it behind her ear
"Tony what happened wasn't your fault, I told you that" he knew they were on the subject of Somalia
"Ziva no matter how much you say it wasn't my fault I'll still carry the burden on my shoulders, but Ziva?" Tony was intently locked on Ziva's eyes and she wondered what he was going to ask
"Yes Tony?"
"I know you might not be ready but it's slowly killing me, I need closure Ziva" Tony felt guilty saying this and she exactly what he was talking about. About what happened to her in that training camp. She hadn't told anyone what had happened because she was protecting them from the harm it might give them. But it looked as though not knowing was affecting Tony worse. She grabbed his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers, looking him in the eyes
"Tony if you are sure I will tell you, I have only kept it from you to protect you. But if you feel so strongly about closure I will share it with you. I have not told anyone about it. But not right now, right now I want to just relax and have a quiet moment alone with you" he squeezed her hand with his
"Ok Ziva, thank you" he lent up and kissed her lightly on the forehead. He lent his back against the tree and she lent into him. The two of them sat there in the navel yard park under a tree in the shade. She had her head rested on his shoulder. His head leaning on hers. Hands still interlocked just lying there in the comfort of the other.