The funeral came a week later. It went by as a blur of sympathetic faces streaked with tears. It didn't help that all I wanted to do was cry and all these people around me were sobbing as though they were the ones who had lost something. Those idiots. Try being in my shoes then cry all you want. It was my mom who'd died, not theirs.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." A woman I'd never met before said.

I nodded and she left. "I can't believe dad didn't come." I said to my brother who stood beside me.

He pulled me to him and kept his arm around me. "Neither can I. He didn't say he'd come though when I called."

"Maybe he's running late." I suggested hopefully.

He glanced down at me. "As much as I would like to believe that, I doubt it."

My friends came up at that moment, Bex and Liz giving me long tight hugs. I avoided Zach's eyes but accidentally met them once. When he tried to comfort me I stepped back to my brother. "Are you guys leaving?" I asked.

Bex and Liz looked guilty. Liz spoke. "If you want to stay, stay. We'll wait."

"No, don't. You guys go, I'll meet up with you later." I urged.

They exchanged a look and Bex bit her lip. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure." I said, putting as much spunk into my voice as possible. If they even heard a single twinge of depression they'd be stuck to me like leeches.

So they started leaving but Zach hung behind.

I sighed. "You two Zach."

He looked almost surprised. "But-"

"Go." I said. "I'll call you later."

I never did. Not the next day. Or the one after that. Or the next three.

I finally went back to work on a Monday. Wilbur, my boss, had gone easy on me and let me take a break. I was avoiding everyone. Bex, Liz, Grant, Jonas, Zach, my brother (as much as I could, seeing as we live together), everyone. I made sure to keep out of the house, that way no one could find me. I explored places of town that I'd never known about before. I kept myself busy so that I didn't have to think about anything. I constantly wondered whom that money had come from. Finally I decided to get rid of it and paid the rent.

But at last I had to face the music.

I was chopping onions when the tears came. Macey came in. "Is it the onions or… are these real tears?"

I put down the knife and washed my face. "I don't know."

I tried cutting them again but my eyes stung so bad I couldn't see. I flung the knife down and slid to the floor. She sat down beside me.

"Why does everything have to be so complicated?" I moaned. "There is not one single thing in my life that isn't messed up."

Her hand touched my shoulder then she was hugging me. I didn't register any shock, I was too out of it.

Her voice rumbled in my ear as she spoke to someone then she addressed me. "Cammie, Zach's here. He wants to talk to you."

I lifted my head. "Oh." I got up wiping my eyes then washing my face again. "Okay."

I walked out of the kitchen and saw him. I plastered a smile on my face but it probably looked more like a grimace.

His face creased with concern once he saw me. "Hey, have you been crying?"

I cleared my throat. "It's just onions."

He looked like he didn't believe me but didn't push it. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow, you haven't been answering any of my phone calls and you're never home. I was lucky to find you here." Right, or my brother had told him that I was working today. "You're still coming, right?"

Of all the things he could ask me he had to ask about his stupid music career. "Yeah. Of course."

I arrived the next day to the bus stop where Zach was standing, waiting for me.

He looked at my hands then behind me. "Where are your bags?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets, lifting my shoulders. "Don't have any."

"What do you mean you don't have any…" He said slowly.

I took a deep breath, preparing for his reaction. "I'm not coming."

He gaped at me. "Not coming? Why the hell not?"

"Zach, I can't." I said. "I don't expect you to understand my life-"

"That's right, I don't understand your life one bit. One second you're telling me you're coming the next you show up with nothing, on the day we're leaving." He retorted. "I'm tired of you saying what you can't do, tell me what you can do. You keep telling me how your life is so horrible but now that you have the chance to leave it behind you choose otherwise?"

"You see that's exactly what I mean." I snapped. "You're just some snotty rockstar who thinks life is so easy and money will solve everything. You keep saying you've changed but you haven't one bit. I bet if I asked Laurel she'd back me up on that one."

"Don't even go there, Cammie. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah? I think I know exactly what I'm talking about. And I know there is no way I'm getting on that bus with you." I started walking away.

"Explain to me, why you can't, Cammie. You were so excited to come with us. What's with the change of heart?"

I dreaded what I had to say but if that's what would get him to leave me alone I had to. "Because I can't just pretend that when I look at you I don't think that this is your fault."

He looked appalled. "What's my fault?"

"That my mom died." I kept my hands in my pockets to keep from gesturing frantically. "You've wanted to know why I decided to stop liking your band for two years, so here's your answer. I couldn't listen to your stupid music without thinking about the accident and feeling angry. I was driving to one of your ridiculous autograph signings and my mom was with me because I was going to drop her off at a friend's who was on the way. I was listening to your latest CD too loud so my mom turned the volume down. Naturally I turned it back up and started yelling at her. I ran a fricking red light, Zach, because of your fucking music. I didn't see the van coming from my mom's side of the car. My mom died because I wanted to get a signature." I flopped my arms against my sides. "That's why I had a two year break. That's why I became a normal human again. That's why my mom was lying in a coma for three years and died. Because of you and your stupid band. So go on that tour but there is no way in hell that I'm coming with you." I turned and left. I left him. I left his band. I left his stupid career. And this time I was leaving for good.

Okay, so I changed the title of this chapter. Instead of Stand In The Rain it's, well, you can see the name yourself, no need for me to say it. The story's not over yet for those of you who are wondering! School's starting in two days for me, so I won't be updating as often.

Please review!

Song: Everything Went Down by Kate Tucker

http:/www. youtube. com/watch?v=6Slm18CLdI4