I Just Want to be Normal

"This is much more complicated then what we originally thought." Dad told all thirty-odd wolves. "These rogues are too scared to challenge us directly, but they have resorted to picking us off one by one. If you meet one, try to catch them alive, only attack if they make the first move."

"It's going to be okay." Ben rubbed my back in a soothing motion, we were upstairs during the speech because Ben was already clued in and I was really upset.

"i should've seen it coming!" I held my face in my hands.

"How?" He asked, "How were you supposed to just know that there were rogue wolves about trying to kill us off and make their own pack? Tell me what exactly would have allowed you to know before anyone else, because I don't think you can see the future."

"I just should've known!" I yelled. "Jamie has been my best friend since first grade, I should've known he was in trouble!"

I am going to rip those rogues to shreds. Mei decided suddenly.

Congrats, really, but you don't give a flying fadoodle about Jamie, you just want to kill someone.

I am angry.

…that's new.

"Porsche," He sighed and pulled me onto his lap. I buried my face into his chest and cried because I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He had been tense all day since Angus had showed up, but he had eased up tons when I had broken into tears in his arms right after Donia had left. Ben hadn't left my side since. He was still upset, but at least he comforted me when I needed it. "You can't control everything in this world."

"I want to." I told him, it was muffled by his shirt. He chuckled just a little.

"I'm sure you do, everyone does. Your father is going to fix this. Jamie isn't the only one missing, three other teens went missing. Jamie was sixteen and two eighteen year-olds."

"You mean this is happening to other kids? They lost their best friends?" I squeaked.

"You didn't lose him." He assured, rocking me slowly.

"But what if he didn't make the Change? What if they ate him altogether?" I started panicking.

"He is a strong kid, if we have to worry about anything, it's him taking over the rogues." Ben told me, "He is very dominant for a sixteen year-old boy."

"He's human." I hiccuped.

"Don't tell me you can't tell? The only person he backs down to is you, probably because he's scared of you. He will meet your father's eyes until he blinks or someone else talks to him. I've only seen him drop his gaze once to him. He always wants to protect you and your friend. Porsche, even when they're human you can tell what kind of wolf they'll be purely by their gut. He won't be as dominant as your father, but he may be pretty damn close. That boy is going to make it."

I'm going to get that damned teenager out and then I'm going to kill everyone. Damn it they almost killed him.

I had a feeling "him" was Ben and that Mei Mei wasn't too happy at the moment. My bad feeling only heightened when I felt her push forward against me.

Wolf POV

And somewhere during my mental struggle I had kissed Ben. I think I pushed him backwards and I had most definitely straddled him because I brought myself back to reality that looked just like that.

"Stop, Porsche." Ben told me softly when we broke for breath. I looked at him, confused I tried to bring my lips back to his and he growled. "Not. Now." He pushed me off and sat up. I giggled and crawled over to him, kneeling on the bed next to him and kissing his cheek.

"Mei," He frowned, "I said not now to Porsche and I'll say not now to you. Give it a rest."

I nuzzled him.

"No."

"Mei Mei, I said not now, okay?" He pulled back.

"You started it." I shrugged, laying down with my back to him.

"And I've decided to end it as well." He sounded like he had decided. "You don't exactly like rules do you?"

"No." I smiled, though he couldn't see it. "Do you?"

"Not terribly, but I respect the rules your father set." He told me.

"He's not my father." I scoffed.

"How do you think you are what you are? If it weren't for Adam, you wouldn't exist, Porsche would be a walker like her mother and Adam would have a cow trying to keep her safe." He turned me over to look at him, "Mei, you may not see Adam as your father, but his wolf definitely is."

"My father wouldn't make stupid rules and ban my mate from doing anything." I disagreed.

"And what is it you want to do?" He smirked over me, his wolf had come out to play.

"You know very well what." I frowned.

"Remind me." He whispered in my ear before his lips met mine.

Porsche POV

"Out of the room." Mom told Ben sternly, pointing out the door. He was out it in a flash and I pulled myself to the front again.

I sighed and sat up.

"Hey, Mom."

"Porsche, number one, I'm not deaf." She held up one finger, she held up a second, "Number two we have not talked about any of this."

"What do you mean we haven't talked about any of this?" I rolled my eyes. "We are not having the sex talk again."

"Porsche, you are fifteen and you aren't being safe." She crossed her arms.

"I know how old I am, and no, I guess I'm not. I'm sorry, when Mei takes over like that I don't really think if we're using a damn condom because I'M FIGHTING HER FOR CONTROL!" I pointed out, it was kind of rude and I could've been nicer I suppose.

"Here." She tossed me a little (little may be an understatement) plastic/foil container-like-thing with cardboard (how else do I explain it?).

I grimaced after reading the label.

"Porsche," She sighed, looking me over. "Do you care about him?"

"Yes! I do! Can we not have this conversation? Jamie is kidnapped, Ben and I were't doing anything, my wolf just realized that whether she likes it or not she does in fact have parents and now she's pissed!" I just wanted to pull my hair out.

Mom looked slightly startled and sat on my bed next to me.

"Porsche, I can't really talk to you about what to do with your wolf because I'm not one, but maybe your-"

"I refuse to have this conversation with Dad!"

"How about Auriele or Honey?" She suggested. "I'm sure they can help, or Charles I suppose, he was born wolf."

"But he wasn't like me! I'm part walker! I see dead people! I have painless changes, unless it's Mei making the change for me…then it can get a little drawn out. I'm fifteen and I was born in the twenty-first century. I'm too dominant for a girl, not counting the fact I'm impervious to magic. Mom, I about even with Dad, do you know how wrong that is? No females are that dominant but me!" I cried tearlessly, "I'm stressed and I'm angry and I'm upset! I just want to be normal! I want to go to school and not have kids look at me funny not because of what I am but because of what my father is! I hate how, while my friends get in trouble for cheating on their boyfriends or girlfriends, I get in trouble for looking at anyone for longer than a nanosecond. I hate the fact that none of my friends, with the new exception of Jamie, have ever been kidnapped or shot. I hate how fucking crowded my mind is right now! I want to be able to control the bond on my end and I can't figure out how to! I hate how all Donia ever had to worry about before today was if she remembered to pack her homework.

"I want to be human, or walker, or were', but I hate being the mutt I am. I'm short, but I'm dominant, I'm weaker in human form than any other female were' I have met, and I have met plenty. I want to be able to make my own decisions or lie to my parents or get away with something for once in my life. I hate that Ben expects me to be a stuck up bitch all the time because I'm hard on him because that's just who I've always been! I hate that I can never make out the important details before I react. I hate that stupid walking stick that did in fact materialize on my head this morning when I was stuck vacuuming. I can't stand that I can't touch silver without wanting to scream or losing control. I hate that every single time I think Mei and I have reached an accord, she jumps out."

I took a breath and finished.

"I just want to fucking kill something."

"When I was your age, the only thing I wanted to be was a werewolf." She said softly, "Because that's what everyone was. I never fit in at Aspen Creek and Bran didn't seem to care. My stepfather committed suicide when I was fourteen because his mate died. I moved into a house with a mother who had all but forgotten me and a step-father who didn't know I existed after leaving Samuel the night we were supposed to run away together because I found out he only wanted me to have children like you. Porsche, I'll admit, your life is tough, no one's life is perfect."

"Mom do you know what it's like to only want blood and sex when your angry or extremely upset? You didn't have to fight to control some monster that just wants to let loose."

"I'll admit, I didn't, and I'll admit that now, my life didn't seem all that tough. What happened to me wasn't the worst that could happen." She spoke slowly and carefully, seeming to try to make a decision. "Did Ben tell you about his childhood?"

"No." I shook my head.

"Then perhaps it's best if I leave it alone, just trust me, your life isn't all that bad."

"That's what Ben said." I shook my head.

She nodded and opened the door, as soon as she did, footsteps climbed the stairs and Ben was at the door.

"Ben, you'd better treat her right." She stared at him long and hard. "Because you know very well what she can and will do if you don't."

He nodded, personally I'd be more scared of what she would do as my mother or what my father could do if he got the chance to when my mother was done trying to murder him.

"Tonight only." She told him, "Do you understand? She's upset and her wolf is on the verge of breaking through."

"I understand."

Mom nodded and I remained confused.

"Cat got your tongue?" Ben chuckled.

"You need to work on your jokes." I rolled my eyes. "What was that about?"

"You didn't…get that?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"It was the closest to permission we're going to get, let's leave it at that." He told me.

"Mom just…she just had a cow! Why the hell is she giving us permission?" I frowned. "…Angus is coming back tomorrow." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." Ben said, suddenly sounding the angry I had been smelling all day. "He is."

"So she decided to discuss why I wasn't allowed to have sex then say we could." I laughed. "Yeah, okay, Ben, sure." Of course, why would he listen.

"I'm sorry for earlier." He whispered against my neck, "I overreacted."

"I'm sorry too." I tried to keep myself calm,

"Just, when I found out he knew you and when he touched you, I'm not used to this any more than you are and some of it is pretty out there."

"I can understand that." I stopped myself from nodding. "It's weird. When Mom said it was rogues doing this Mei's first thought was to get revenge on them for hurting you. I just don't want to know what will happen when someone hurts you by accident."

He let out a short lived chuckle that made my neck vibrate like a phone.

"And thanks to him we were on edge all day." He continued, planting kisses over my shoulder and making me shiver. "My wolf, didn't like his comment."

"Mmm, the one about me not smelling like you?" I asked, closing my eyes. He tensed up and let out a low growl.

"That's the one." He nipped the edge of my shoulder. "And neither of us like it."

"It's not my fault my father is an over protective alpha."

"Didn't say it was." Ben stopped what he was doing and looked into my eyes. "But I do say we should fix the problem."

"Kill Dad?" I smirked.

"Perhaps."

A/N-

Okay, so i feel really pathetic because no one reviewed my last chapter : ( even though it's been up for 2 days! its ok tho because im doing well review wise as of now! I would like to see a new number next time i check my reviews tho, it would make me very very happy : D

So here it is, I typed it all up the day i posted chapter ten that no one read hehe but its ok! cuz im sure u all read it! if anything maybe u did review and my computer is just stupid, the internet where i am sux! i have no connection on anything! my youtube keeps freezing and so does my fanfiction and my twitter! its like "greeeaat!" but it worked at the hotel so its not the computer…and it works wen i go to the internet cafe around the corner (which of course i cant hack into from here xD lolz) but this place just has really bad bad bad internet.

so yes, follow me on twitter subscribe 2 me on youtube, review my story, read my other stories, give me advice, favorite my story, tell me i suck, hate on my internet connection, etc.

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