I'm Just Here For Ice Cream

I crept out of my room at around 12:00am, Ben was in his little room in the basement because I had locked him out of my bedroom. Oh, I knew very well he could've just busted down the door, but I had kind of expected him to respect my wishes as he had.

I silently tiptoed down the stairs without even a noise my ears could pick up which must defy the laws of physics somewhere. I reached the bottom and quietly found my way to the kitchen, Mei's night vision proved helpful. When I got into the room, the light flicked on.

"What the fudger nugget are you thinking?" I had been hanging out with Donia far too much if I had picked up "fudger nugget" and added it to my vocabulary. "Turn that damned thing off!" It was too late, I was already blind.

"Porsche," My father ignored my polite request, "We need to talk."

"Oh, don't mind me." I smiled, "I'm here for the ice cream!" I opened the freezer drawer, grabbed a carton of mint chocolate chip, and walked to the island drawers to find a clean spoon without any water spots.

Hey, my father has OCD I had to pick up something in my genes I suppose.

As I picked through the utensils, he started blabbing on about useless things I didn't care about. Eventually, I thought it right to stop him.

"Hey, Dad, I wasn't really listening, I was singing in my head to a make believe audience, could you just restart that? They want an encore." I picked up a perfectly spotless spoon, inspected it closely, found it satisfactory, and put it in my mouth.

"You need a bowl."

"No I don't." I smiled brightly. "And listen, about today…oh I forgot what I was going to say." I shrugged. "Ah well, probably nothing good if I don't remember it, 'ey? Well, 'night!"

"Porsche, I wasn't done talking to you."

I spun around.

"Dad, I'm seriously not in the mood, okay?" I frowned, "If you didn't get that by my sarcastic comments, then maybe Mom was right. Maybe you don't give a damn about me. Maybe you think I was an accident or something that just came along or maybe you just like spoiling Jesse because she was your first daughter with your first wife. I don't want to hear what you have to say because honestly, I don't care. You've made your decision. Apparently, I can't go because I'm a girl and I'm too young, I got the point, no need to rub it in, you already turned Ben against me."

"Porsche Demeter Hauptman, I was not finished and you will sit and listen to me." He growled.

"Uh, no, I will not. I'm through with this shit, forget it, I can't believe I ever offered to become part of this pack. I can't stand you." I hissed, "Just because you're my father doesn't mean you have to control every aspect of my life, same with Ben."

I climbed the stairs, louder than before, but not loud enough to wake anybody in the sleeping house. I thought I heard Dad mutter something along the lines of "too damn much like her mother" which would have been a stretch because, as I've said before, he rarely ever curses. Though, I suppose alone and pissed off, he might.

Special Edition Ben POV!

I rubbed my face with my hands as I sat on the edge of the bed. Porsche had figured the bond out because I couldn't reach her in any way shape or form. Auriele and Honey were right, I owed her a huge apology. I should've known she would act like this, too damn much like Mercy she is. She doesn't like to be seen as weak or young because she likes to think she can handle anything. She can't, she fucking can't, she'll get hurt one day, or broken, or something. She doesn't see the danger the way everyone else does, just dives head first into it and get out just barely without being eaten by the shark or drowned by the tide.

She's just so…

Sweet and innocent don't cut it because she isn't either. It's just, she's so fragile I guess. At her age, any little thing can unbalance her. The Jamie thing is proof of that, she cried for seven hours straight.

I suppose fragile isn't the best adjective in the long run though.

She's just her and it bothers me. She doesn't care what other people think and it's a good thing to have, but she needs to care sometimes because sometimes what people say can be true. She can't handle this. If Jamie were dead, suppose that. What would she do? She'd be too damn distracted with self loathing.

She's like her father a lot too, like Mercy said earlier. That little band of hers is her pack. She runs it. She feels responsible for this whole thing, I saw that first hand, felt it myself. Thing is, it's not her fault, but if she did come and he were to be dead or dying she'd lose it.

I'm not entirely sure which sense of lose it it would be, but she wouldn't be able to focus on the task at hand and she'd get hurt or die or something bad would happen to her.

She obviously has terrible instincts if she fell for me.

I'm such a fucking mess. What the hell was I thinking, letting her choose me, letting her think I was an option.

I'll admit, I was innocent of the rapes in England, okay? But every single day I didn't care those girls had been raped because, God damn it, at that point I still felt that everyone should feel how I did. Two of them were young, one Porsche's age exactly with the same brown hair and sparkling eyes, the other was sixteen, just a little older. I had known them both, and the third, from working at the supermarket I used to work at. They'd walk to the store because they lived close by, I knew their mother's fairly well, and their fathers. The third not so much because she was a little older and she was fairly new.

The two teens were best friends, they'd come and buy bubble gum or candy or something and pay and leave.

I feel guilty because I had wanted to be the one to do it. There hadn't been a day that went by when I didn't think of the idea of rape.

And that was the problem. When I saw Porsche, I saw the little fifteen year old girl so many years before. I felt like I was stealing her life, or her second chance at it.

I royally screwed myself over, I fucking deflowered a fifteen year old girl for God's sakes! If that isn't wrong I don't know what is!

And it was rape, she didn't know I had done it. I let myself sleep with her wolf, thinking that if it wasn't her I wouldn't feel the guilt.

Ha, that worked out perfectly.

She was so hurt, but the worst part was that, in the end, it wasn't that I had done it, it was that she hadn't been awake. The girl drives me crazy!

I shook my head and got up, listening to the squeak and rattle as I did so. I knew my alpha was still awake and it was about time I faced him.

But what was I supposed to say? "I'm sorry I damn near raped your daughter three times, but it's okay, I got permission the third time from your wife and mate, Porsche's mother." Because that would go over so well.

Wearily, I climbed the stairs.

"Morning." I looked at the ground when my alpha turned to look at me as I closed the basement door quietly behind me. It was morning, it was twelve-thirty.

"We need to talk." He motioned for me to sit down next to him and I did.

"Adam, I'm-" I began, but I wasn't entirely sure how to end it.

"Don't bother," He waved it off, "You know as well as I do what we're going to talk about and there's no sense bringing anything else up." I dipped my head. "You need to tell her."

"Sir, I know, I just can't figure out how to tell her. She's just too young, she doesn't need to know things like that. My past is in the past."

"But you haven't let go." He raised an eyebrow as if challenging me to say otherwise. I opened my mouth, closed it, and shook my head.

"No." I whispered, eyes fixed on the floor before I raised them to meet his for a moment. "I can't."

"She reminds you."

I nodded.

"She doesn't understand why you're over protective." He told me, "Honey told me that."

I half smiled because it was just like the conversation we had had over fifteen years ago right after Mercy had killed Tim. Honey seemed to know how to weasel the important stuff out of people and knew who to tell it to.

"I don't want to see her hurt." I closed my eyes for a moment. "You know as well as I do that there are sick bastards out there that would do anything to get their hands on her."

"I do." He agreed, "And I also know that you and I won't let that happen."

"No, sir."

"But that's not what's bothering you." He said softly.

I shut my eyes tight because I knew what was coming.

"What bothers you is that you can't protect her from you."

I couldn't help it that I slammed my fist on the island, I was just lucky I didn't break it.

"I'm a monster." I choked out. "He just wants more and more from her, she was terrified last time, when he took over. She was so scared, she was trembling, and I tried, but I couldn't rein him in! I love her, Adam, I'm in love with your fifteen year old daughter and I can't stand to see her like that but believe it or not my wolf doesn't care if she hurts. He doesn't care! He just thinks he can use her whenever he feels like it! She started crying, sobbing! She can't handle him any more than I can!"

My alpha was silent for a moment before I added in a small voice.

"I can't stand to see her like that, she's so small and fragile when she's like that."

"I'm glad to know your feelings for her are real." He said after another painfully long moment while I just shook where I was in agony of the truth. "And I know how it feels to think you have no control over the wolf. Ben, you have great control over him, you just don't see entirely eye to eye, that is to be expected." He spoke slowly, thinking each word through carefully and making his point perfectly precise. "Perhaps you should work out a new understanding. You can make him understand why you want to be careful, how do you think I worked it out with Mercy? It takes a little time and patience from him, and I know that's…difficult, but he can learn. And he won't need it for forever."

I nodded.

"However, she does need to know your background and where you're coming from." He said, more firmly, "I expect you'll tell her soon."

"She's…not talking to me at the moment." I admitted.

"She can't do the silent treatment, it's against her nature to never shut up. She can have a sharp tongue like her mother, but her bark is much, much worse than her bite." He chuckled, "Just let her get it out of her system, then tell her. She deserves to know, and it will let her know that you trust her. Assure her that you didn't tell her because you don't like talking about it, though."

I nodded again, getting up.

"Ben, I was serious about what I said all those years ago." I smiled, remembering, "And I'm glad to see you're moving past it very well, even if it is with my daughter."

I smiled sheepishly and ducked my head.

"Sorry, sir."

"No worries," He gave me a smile in return which turned to a grin that showed all his teeth, "Just don't you dare hurt her, or you'll know what you have coming."

"Right." I walked towards the downstairs door.

"Where are you going?"

I turned back around.

"It's still only one in the morning, I'm not going up there until at least six, I'd rather live to see the dawn."

He chuckled again.

"Point taken, you're dismissed."

Porsche POV

My dreams were so confusing that night, and I woke up at six to find myself wearing a shirt of Ben's over my original night clothes and the walking stick was in my one hand. Even in my sleep I liked smelling like him, even in my sleep when I was angry at him I liked smelling like him.

Even in my sleep, the walking stick appeared, though this time it was carefully placed so no part of me touched the silver. I carefully got up, putting it down on the pillow like it was asleep or something. I walked downstairs for the second time this morning, passing the empty tub of ice cream as I did so.

"Good morning." Mom greeted, "Coffee's in the machine."

"Good, good," I walked over to it and stopped, sniffing around it. "You didn't make it did you?" I asked cautiously, giving it a good stare.

"No, no, your father did. If I made it he'd shoot me." She rolled her eyes.

I nodded in satisfaction and reached for a mug before I heard someone come up fro downstairs and pause. I froze where I was too.

"You need to buy longer pants." Ben grumbled, rubbing his eyes when I turned around to look at him. I rested my hands on my hips.

"It's not like I wear them out, I just sleep in them." I pointed out and turned back to get my coffee. When I turned back again, I realized he was hiding a smile with his glass of orange juice and I remembered I hand't taken the his shirt off. Startled, I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Don't be too smug, your shirt doesn't talk, I like him a lot better."

"Uh-huh." He nodded, but he wasn't smiling anymore. "Porsche, listen, I-"

"I know you're sorry." I smiled, "And I accept the apology, and you're lucky I do. From now on I want you to tell me your feelings about things yourself and not have to find out about it in front of everyone."

He nodded.

"Deal."

"Good."

"Posche…" He said carefully after a few moments. "Would you mind going out to dinner tonight? I need to talk to you about something…"

I bit my lip because he sounded serious. Maybe something really was wrong.

"It's nothing bad, I just feel it's time to tell you something that's been bugging me for quite some time."

I cautiously nodded.

"Okay."

"Good." He half smiled but he look nervous. I turned to glance at Mom who gave him a concerned look.

I wonder what is going on.

A/N-

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I lied

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I lied big time and now the grey lords r gonna come and find me xD I decided to post this chapter today! Tell me what you think! I decided to post it because chapter 13 wasn't all that long and i felt real really bad doing that to you all.

rozabelikov - thank you for your review! I really liked it, I'll definitely try to add in some more pack scenes and be more descriptive about the meetings. im glad u told me that, it'll help me in the near future so thank you thank you thank you!

Notloggedin - I like u, very mysterious xD yeah i thought it was time they got a little more credit and i was laughing so hard about the last bit u said about ben (the part about u being surprised he didn't get freaked out) because of the special POV i put in this chap (originally going to b part of chap 13 but i changed it) yeah i kinda did it as a wolf-human disaccord thing-y but ur gonna have 2 wait 4 the fight results, i put ice cream in this instead :D hehehe im evil no worries u shall find out soon enuf darlin xD *insert my evil laugh here*

if u cant tell, ive decided 2 do responses here rather than via message cuz that just takes time away from updating ; ) so u will just have 2 start reading my A/N's, sorry!

I decided on a new story 4 2day! i hit my head walking into my car because i didn't quite think to duck and now my neck hurts i have a killer bruise all over the right side of my head and i cant quite c straight…im probably going to die in my sleep or something…

if i don't ever update again, u kno y

GIMH