The energy of the Library core was coursing through the entire room and the heat was so intense. It must have been a painful way to go, if River was slightly in pain from the intensity of the energy. The heat started to engulf her as she backed away, and then it suddenly stopped...
The blinding white light started to slowly fade away and the room became dark again. The temperature regulated and the energy began to die down. Silence crept in and lingered.
River stood motionless, watching the exact spot where the stranger had sacrificed himself for her, the spot where she could've ended her own life.
Her eyes slowly adjusted to the new found darkness but were blurred by tears building up. She tried to blink them away, to try and stay strong.
The machine where he had given his life was now empty. River stood thinking that it could've been her in that chair, instead of a complete stranger dying for her. "It should've been me..." she sighed.
She still held the TARDIS keys tightly in her hands close to her, it was the only memory of that brave, impossible man she had. She held them close to her racing heart as she began to feel so guilty that it made her ill. A single, lone tear rolled down her cheek as she began to walk away, her heart was sinking.
As she walked, her footsteps echoed in the silent hallway of the core. She was still isolated from the rest of the planet. Faint voices were being projected from above; the Library was alive again but at the cost of six very brave people's lives.
The Library computer registered all 4,022 people were back. As River looked at the screen, a small smile came from the corner of her lips.
"That man... that impossible man." She smiled; more tears began to roll down her cheeks.
For the brief few moments she met him, it felt as if she'd known him for years. This strange man had a hold on her, an obscure hold that made her bond with him. This bond was almost like a bond that only those of a romantic and loving partnership would share...
River made her way back to the gravity platform and she noticed a blue Police Public Call Box standing in the centre. She walked up to it and stroked the edge of the door with her hand and her eyes inspected it as she contemplated whether she should ride it so soon after his death, it would probably be disrespectful and she also had a rocket to fly back to Earth. She couldn't just leave it abandoned at the Library.
River placed some gravitational pods on the sides of the TARDIS and pressed a button, it began to float. With the press of another button, the TARDIS was teleported to Earth in a place that she would remember where it was.
The gravitational platform arrived at the bottom surrounded in the blue light that illuminated the room before. River took a small step onto the platform and it made a quick and smooth ascent to the Library halls again.
The blurry blue light surrounded and illuminated her as the platform rose. River was standing twiddling the TARDIS keychain on her fingers. She felt guilty taking this stranger's ship and flying to goodness knows where going on bizarre, unimaginable adventures whilst he lay dead.
When the platform reached the top it halted so gently. She stepped off the platform into the empty room. Her eyes fell on the spot where Anita's dead body was lying just minutes ago. Her best friend was gone and there was no bringing her back. Anita had always been there for her. "Thank you, Anita... I did try, but obviously not hard enough... I'm sorry" she whispered, saying a farewell to the memory she had of her.
River started to make her way back to the rocket alone. She didn't speak to anyone else who was there, nor did they to her and that's how she hoped it would be.
River pushed open the double doors leading to the balcony where Other Dave had sacrificed himself to the Vashta Nerada. She felt a stabbing pain in her heart as she walked over the exact spot where Other Dave ordered her to leave. She saw his face, every time she blinked, the moment just replaying over and over again in her mind. The moment he left, the moment he died for her.
As she walked, River held her head low and tears were streaming from her eyes as she squeezed them closed. "...I could've saved you... any of you." She whispered, still blaming herself for the deaths. Her eyes glanced over to the room where Mr. Lux was unsuccessfully downloaded. She was tempted to go inside but refused and walked on.
Each step she took was wobbly and uneasy. She was on the verge of collapsing from sadness; she saw almost no point in continuing living if they couldn't.
Through the next set of double doors, River wiped away the tears and picked up the pace back to the rocket. She just wanted to leave and never return to the sight of her friends' murders, it was just too painful.
She was at the hallway which the rocket was parked close to. It was quiet, but still teaming with life. River paused outside the rocket, it would be the first time she had entered it alone. Her hands turned numb as she reached for the door and pushed down on the handle.
With a gentle nudge, it eased open. The cockpit of the rocket was so large and empty. It didn't feel right. River's eyes glanced around at the empty chairs, there should be a person sitting in each.
She imagined the cockpit full of her colleagues, happy and lively. A moment later, she returned to the sad reality of being alone. Her every footstep that she took echoed loudly around the whole room as she made her way to the pilot's seat. It has always been Proper Dave's job to pilot the rocket but, she still had the training and it was time to put it to the test.
"Here we go..." she mouthed the words as she placed her hands on the controller. She exhaled a shaky breath as she started the engine. It was a quiet start as the engines warmed up and River just sat patiently, quietly and uneasily.
Her journey back home had begun. The other archaeologists back home would be expecting the return of all six members of the party, but would be shocked to only see one of them.
River dreaded to think how the families of her colleagues would react to find out the truth. Her grip tightened on the controller as she neared home, her sanctuary. She only wanted to crawl up in bed and cry for her friends. Now she was all alone, those people were the only ones who were always there for her whenever she needed someone.
She exhaled a shaky and heavy sigh as the rocket landed back on Earth. As she stood, her eyes glanced around the cockpit once more and fresh tears began to stain her cheeks as the guilt rose to an out of control level.
The door eased open and River stepped out still sobbing. It was late in the afternoon and no one was around to see her return alone and upset, River was thankful. She ran through the deserted corridors of the station and she managed to run all of the way home, ignoring anyone who tried to approach her.
When she arrived home, the TARDIS was waiting in her back garden where she had left it but, she was more focussed on going upstairs to her bedroom- the one place where she could be on her own to release her emotions without being judged.
She entered her house and placed the TARDIS keys on the kitchen table with her house keys and she ran straight to her room. All hope at her staying strong was extinguished as she neared her bedroom.
She reached the door and placed her helmet outside it. As she forcefully pushed open the bedroom door she threw herself on the bed and buried her head in the pillow as she wept and mourned for her friends.
"...Why me?" she muttered into the pillow accusingly. "...It's always me..."