A/N-
How many times do I use the word and/or forms of the word "legal" in this chapter? I'm curious…
And no, there are no Friendly's in or near washington state…I think the nearest is OH (which is either Ohio or Washington, forgive me i prefer history and science to geography and the over all study of the USA) im just strapped for places to go xD
Passe´, Pre´sent, Futur
"Why can't we just go out for pizza?" I whined, sitting shotgun in Ben's, very nice, 2011 Dodge Viper.
"You hate pizza." He pointed out, somehow still keeping his eyes on the road.
"So?" I looked out the window. "It's better than going someplace fancy."
"…we're going to Friendly's!" He said exasperatedly.
"AHA!" I grinned, turning back to him, I had assumed he'd choose a family restaurant after my complaining last time over where we went. I'm pretty sure I had told him I'd rather go to a family place like Friendly's where no one looks at you funny because they're too preoccupied soothing crying two year olds.
"Fine, fine, yes, we're going to Friendly's, you were right." He grumbled, "Though I don't personally think it's entirely an appropriate restaurant for what I wanted to tell you."
"You could tell me now then." I frowned.
"No, no, I'd rather you not be hungry to be honest. Any longer in this car you might try to eat me."
"No one will overhear our conversation at a place like Friendly's." I shrugged, "That's a plus."
"I suppose." He nodded. Then, he started laughing out of the blue. "I'm surprised you forgave me."
"No worries, so am I." I smirked, "I guess you just got lucky."
"I guess so." He agreed, "Hey, what did your Mom say before you left?" He sounded nervous.
"Just told me not to throw a bowling ball at a toddler…I didn't quite understand what the hell she was talking about but I promised not to…we aren't going bowling are we?"
"No, we aren't." He shook his head but he had a smile that told me he knew what my mother said before we left meant. He took in my confusion and turned to me when we pulled up at the red light. "It's a very, very long and complicated story, Porsche, you don't want to hear it."
I nodded, I was entirely positive I didn't want to.
"Probably not."
We were silent for a few moments.
"Why' you get the car in GTS blue?" I asked.
He looked startled.
"I-er-dunno…" He stammered, "Er, I like blue I guess?"
"Hmm…you should've gotten it in snakeskin green pearl." I shrugged.
"I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer honestly." He said carefully, "How the hell do you know so much about my car?"
"I like modern technology?" It came out as a question. "Fine, I can legally apply for a license soon, I already have taken a legal course in Montana."
"You don't have a permit?" He raised an eyebrow, "I was wondering why you got in so much trouble for hijacking the car."
"No, Bran wouldn't let me apply for one…he said if I could legally drive he'd have some worrying to do. He promised me a car for my sixteenth birthday though. Technically you can forget a permit, legally in Montana I could have a license!"
"Well, personally I don't blame Bran."
"I'm an extremely safe driver!" I frowned, "…with the exception of that one time, but that wasn't my fault, the dumb old woman shouldn't have run out in the middle of the street."
"What did you do to her?"
"NOTHING! I just swerved a little, those motorized scooters are dangerous things." I nodded.
"Dear God, Porsche," Ben muttered, looking amused, "You're crazy."
"You love me!" I teased.
"Unfortunately." He took my hand and kissed my knuckles gently. "And here we are."
I smiled.
"I don't get why you have to make me take you to places like this."
"Because I'm a teenager!" I rolled my eyes, "And I don't do fancy! So you are forced to make me happy by taking me to places you don't approve of."
"I approve of it, they have good food." He disagreed, "I just think it's more of a place for married people with kids. We could've at least gone to Applebee's."
"I get drunk when I drink their lemonade." I shook my head.
"You don't have to drink their lemonade though!" He pointed out, "Whatever, you're a weird person, I'll have to live with it."
I smiled and nodded.
"We're here." He sighed in relief. (A/N-we're in OH! aka 1758 miles away exactly!) "Finally."
"You didn't lock the car." I told him as we walked to the front door.
"Shut up." He grumbled, pulling out his keys and hitting the button twice.
"Aw, but I don't want to!" I complained, leaning into him when he draped his arm over my shoulders.
"Hello, and how my I help you today?" The waitress asked, she gave Ben a look that lasted far longer than necessary. I broke into a coughing fit, trying to hide the growl that forced its way up my throat. Ben gave me a concerned look. "Miss, do you need water."
"No, no, I'm fine." I gave her a sweet smile, "Table for two?"
She looked me over, surprise at my sudden recovery written all over her face.
"R-right this way." She grabbed two menus and hurried through the building with us following behind her. "Your waitress will be with you shortly." She said politely and hurried away.
"What'd you want to tell me?" I turned to Ben.
"Not, not now? After we eat…" He looked nervous and I let it slide.
"Okay." I bit my lip before shutting my eyes in annoyance when another happy voice reached my ears.
"Hello! I'm Toli, I will be your waitress for this evening." She smiled at us when I opened my eyes. She smelled like a coyote, like Mom. I gave Ben a startled look and realized he had noticed too. She paused and looked between us. At first I thought maybe Ben was public and I hadn't realized it, but her eyes settled on me. "You're the Hauptman girl right?"
Oh my God is she serious?
"Er…yeah…why?" I fidgeted.
Her expression just read "shit" and she nodded, trying to keep herself calm.
"Well, folks, what can I get you to drink."
Ben just got a water and I got a coke. When she left I pulled out my phone.
"Porsche, who are you calling?" Ben grabbed my hand.
"My mother." I grimaced.
"Why? If this woman doesn't want us to bother her, which is obvious, then let's not." He murmured.
"Ben, did you see her name tag?" I asked.
"She said her name was Tanya or something." He made a confused face.
"She said her name was Toli, it's short for her full name, Tolinka. Ben, Tolinka literally means 'coyote's ear' in some random form of Native American."
"Some random form…you know what it means but you don't know where it originated?"
"No! I was just looking up names!" I hissed. "I wanted to see if there was a name that meant 'coyote' but that was the closest one I could find, okay?" I dialed.
"Porsche, leave her be!" He tried to pry the phone away from me. I sighed and hung up.
"Fine! I'll tell them when I get home! By then she'll only have run away." I rolled my eyes.
"Let her do as she chooses, it's not your life."
"Fine!"
åßΩ
Tolinka ditched, we ended up getting a grumpy waiter named Henrich VonLaderhosen.
Okay, that's a lie. His name was Henry and he was German, I think. He had an accent. We got our food pretty soon after we ordered because Friendly's was accustomed to starving children.
"What were you going to tell me?" I asked when we were done.
He closed his eyes and took a breath and I waited for what seemed like hours before he let the breath out with a miserable look on his face that told me what he confirmed in words.
"I-I promise, I-I'll tell you in the car. I just, I just can't yet."
I switched onto his side of the booth to hug him.
"You can tell me." I assured him.
"I know I can trust you, I just can't tell you." He sighed, "I promise, when we get back to the car, I'll tell you."
"Don't break your promise." I warned, getting up as the check arrived.
"I won't." He said, pulling out his wallet as I pulled out mine. He glared at me. "What are you doing?"
"I'm the daughter of an alpha and granddaughter of the Marrok, I have money." I smiled.
"Well, keep it."
"No." I shook my head.
"Porsche, this is ridiculous, you're fifteen, you don't pay checks at restaurants!" He pulled the black pad over to him.
"I won't pay the whole thing! Only for myself! It's Friendly's, it's not so badly expensive that I'm forced to let you pay." I pulled it back to me.
"I'm forcing you to let me pay." He reached for it and I pulled it farther away. "Damn it you-" He broke off, "Porsche give me the check!"
"Not yet!" I rolled my eyes.
He was silent for a few moments so I assumed I won and I took it out from behind my back to look at it right before he pressed his lips to mine and pried it out while I was distracted. He smirked when he pulled back.
"That's not fair!" I gasped out, a little breathless.
"All's fair in love and war." He shrugged.
"I hate that quote." I crossed my arms over my chest.
He didn't say anything, just paid and pulled me away.
"And your change?" I asked.
"Exact along with tip." He sounded so smug that he had won this one.
"Of course." I grumbled.
He shook his head, smile still on his face-until we reached the car.
"Get in." He held the door open and closed it shut gently behind me. He got in on the driver's side and didn't start the car, but turned to look at me.
"Ben?" I asked carefully.
"How much do you know about me?" He asked.
"Just that you're from a pack in London and was sent here because of rapes you were suspected of." I shrugged.
"Well, yeah, that." He nodded. "Do you know why they suspected me?"
I shook my head.
"I was the one who knew all three victims." He sighed. "But there's more to it, and you need to know that too."
I waited.
"Porsche, I told you I grew up a lot different than you did." He took a breath. "I grew up a lot different than you did."
I didn't want to interrupt, but I would if he didn't tell me. He just sat there shaking his head.
"My…I…it was…" He just gave up, "I don't exactly like many women if you haven't noticed."
I couldn't put two and two together, it kept equalling fish.
"What?"
He shook his head and turned back to the wheel, turning the key in the ignition.
"Forget it, I can't do this." He choked, "I can't bring this back like this."
I shook my head.
"I don't understand…" I whispered.
"I was abused, I was fucking abused as a child, okay?" He spun to face me again so fast it was actually scary. "By my mother, mostly."
My eyes widened.
"Oh my God…" He just looked like he was in agony, a tear escaped when his fist slammed down on the dashboard, he was in just enough control of himself to only crack it, and barely at that. Even still, his shoulders were definitely shaking off the urge to just make the Change and forget all his emotions for a while. "Ben…" I reached out to touch his face and he drew back.
"Just, don't, okay? I need to finish." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before focusing on the lamp pole outside. "I worked at a supermarket."
I nodded, realizing where he had started, because he didn't want to relive everything else.
"Two of those girls came in every day, sometimes with their mothers or fathers or sometimes with each other. One was fifteen," He shook his head, "Fifteen with dark, dark brown hair and almost black eyes." He looked at me, "She was just like you."
"I'm here." I assured.
"You shouldn't be!" His voice pleaded with me to understand. "Every single day, they'd come after school to buy some sort of candy, every single day the thought of rape was in my mind. Porsche, I wanted to hurt them! I wanted someone to feel what I had gone through all of my fucked up childhood!"
He paused and took another deep breath.
"Their names were Aliyah Bugatti and Dakota Carrera." He let out a single laugh, "Ironic that there would be a Carrera Porsche, isn't it? Dakota was the fifteen year old and Aliyah was sixteen. The woman who was raped was named Ciara, I can't remember her last name, only that I saw her a lot. I didn't care about her, she was much to old to think of taking my anger out on her, though she was only twenty or so.
"Porsche, I was blamed, suspected, because I was the one who had the grudge against female kind, I was the one who had the most reason to. I deserved to have it blamed on me because I know I would've done it. It was all I thought about for years. I was Changed when I was twenty-three, I won't bother to tell you when, but I'm not quite as old as your father.
"You shouldn't be here because you should've had enough sense to know that I was not the one you needed to spend your time with. I've tried to get over it, okay? I haven't thought about rape since I heard Dakota was dead and I was advertised as some sort of pedophile, but there are days when…"
I hugged him because I couldn't help myself.
"There are days when I'm tired or something sets me off and I just can't remember where and when I am or who I am with. You've seen it, you just didn't know what it was. I get nervous or something, if you watch closely, your mother does it too whenever your father get's particularly strong. Rape isn't something you get over, no matter how it came about. I thought I had promised myself never to hurt someone like that."
"You haven't." I whispered into his chest.
"Porsche, I did! Can't you understand I feel guilty? I hurt you! And sometimes it's not even me! I can't control myself, let alone my wolf!" He hugged me tightly, "I need you to understand! I can't hold him back, I told you I don't have the control you need me to have. I may never have it! I'm sorry I got you into this mess and I'm sorry I can't get you out." He paused. "I just need you to know that I love you, okay? And yes, in a few years I'll have to buy two rings and I'll have to figure out what color schemes and food and who the hell can get an invite and who sits where, but that's eons away. I can buy another house if you really want me to, I don't care, believe it or not, I've got the money. I don't want you with us at the full moon because I know bad things can happen and I know how it feels to have no hope left and I know what it's like when things seem to be your fault. I want to be able to marry you one day in the future and that involves keeping you alive."
I bit my lip.
"But Adam and I agreed you could go." He let out a sigh. "Because Honey and Auriele and Mary Jo are right, you've proven yourself enough. But, don't make me regret it, please."
I pulled back a little and searched his eyes, only seeing his pain and guilt. Without thinking, I pressed my lips to his, taking comfort in his arms and uncomfortably straddling him on the seat to keep my balance.
"I love you." He admitted against my neck when we broke apart. "And I don't want to let go." He pulled himself away from me to read my expression with his deep blue-green eyes.
"Never." I nodded forcefully. "Now, let's get home before the others start to worry…" I climbed carefully off and back into my own seat.
"Agreed." He smiled and I put my hand in his.
A/N-
Hey guys! Okay! So I couldn't help but post the sorta sweet chapter today! I hated putting tolinka in here because she's more needed for either the end of this or possibly another sequel, but I thought i should introduce her earlier because the way I wrote it, they knew her name. Which, yeah, I kinda had another sequel in mind (tho this story wont b over for some time) but only if u guys wanted 2 c one…ill ask u that towards the end, no worries!
As of now, I have 30 reviews with half as many chapters! Here are my comments:
marinebrat29: Thank you! :D and thanks for taking the time to read and review!
Notloggedin: I love ur reviews xD too funny! And thank you for the wonderful wonderful flattery with my Ben's POV being exactly wat u were looking 4, i kno it was cuz i can read ur mind ahaha yeah ice cream is very very good, i cant write a story without mentioning it at least once! and yes well, OCD comes in many forms, i don't like water spots on my utensils either, but my dad seriously has major OCD issues with everything *rolls eyes yet again* its so painfully annoying. I love mint chocolate chip 2! im so happy u love my fav flavor! and yes i did need 2 kno that! xD cuz ima stalkerr! well…i didn't get my degree yet but im taking courses! Yeah adam always has everyones best interest he just really is an alpha in all senses of the word and "fudged nugget" is like "stone of a peach" you can say it as pretty much anything pertaining to the word "fuck" thus "fudge" xD my friend begged me 2 put it in the chappie somewhere ahaha and nugget can be used for the same (for instance, her phrase of "people leave the carts at the supermarket wherever the nugget they want") so…u get the point xD and thank u! im actually feeling much better now that i lived thru the night, im only an anvil addict now (no no im not! im just kidding! i actually haven't taken anything which is a dumb idea because i do have a headache and a huge bruise) i hope u review again!
rozabelikov888: yeah, xD i just missed ur review right b4 i went 2 sleep myself actually! ahaha i only posted the chap at 12:00 or 11:30 or watev it was so the fact u saw it that early is killer! im glad u at least reviewed! id have been disappointed it u didn't! and im sorry about not being able to use ur suggestion about the pack convos in this chapter, it was meant to b my "sappy-romantic, i-was-raped-and-abused-as-a-kid chapter! i think the next one has a few convos tho...if im not mistaken...hehehe ; )
SO THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING! PLEASE DO SO AGAIN!
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OMG! and how many times did a form of the word "legal" come up in this chapter?