Chapter 3
Two extremely tense days went by and Quinn was sure she was about to break under it all. She would catch Rachel's eyes and open her mouth to apologize again and again but nothing would ever come out. She would stop in front of the couch where Rachel was curled up with her book and try to say something, anything, but she couldn't. There was only silence between the pair. One night, as she lay in bed sniffling and trying to get the tears to stop yet again, she heard her bedroom door open and her mother whispered that she loved her. Just as Quinn rolled over to try and say something the door shut and despite desperately wanting to get up to go after her, she didn't.
After another tension filled breakfast, Quinn had to get out. She barely said a goodbye to her mother before taking off running. She needed to run anyway; her body wasn't going to get back into Cheerio condition by just sitting around a cabin. She took off on one of the trails through the woods and then, ignoring everything she'd learned in Girl Scouts when she was younger, she veered off the path. She needed to be free of trails and paths for a bit. Unfortunately, she found out that this was the wrong trail to leave. She didn't see the tree root sticking out of the ground and the next thing she was aware of was a face full of forest floor and being in excruciating pain.
Quinn rolled over on her back and clutched her right knee; the pain was shooting up and down her entire leg and making it incredibly difficult to breathe. She finally managed to choke out a cry and a few whimpers. Her head was swimming with thoughts revolving around the end of her cheerleading career and dying alone in a forest. She was in too much pain to realize that her priorities weren't exactly in order. It didn't matter because soon the pain was such that Quinn had to keep her focus on not losing her breakfast.
When the pain subsided a little and Quinn regained coherent thought, she pulled herself to the nearest tree and tried to stand. It was a horrible idea. Quinn cried out as the pain shot through her leg again and she fell back to the forest floor. It was then that she realized she'd left her cell phone on the kitchen counter and that she was completely and utterly screwed.
Quinn sat with her back against the tree for what seemed like forever. She yelled out occasionally, hoping to get some attention, but she didn't get a response until something moved in a bush. Quinn jumped a little; panic set in as the rustling got a little louder and Quinn started saying her final prayers, sure she was about to get eaten by a bear. She didn't exactly feel intelligent when a squirrel popped its head out of the bush and nibbled on an acorn.
"I don't have any food," she mumbled.
The squirrel scampered closer.
"Seriously, I don't have any food."
The squirrel tilted its head and squeaked. Quinn groaned.
"Why are you looking at me like that? Why the hell am I talking to a squirrel? Go away!"
The squirrel inched a little closer and sat back on its hind legs and kept staring. It stared like it knew that all Quinn wanted was someone to talk to. Normally, Quinn would throw a rock or something to get the tiny, obnoxious thing away (or a slushie, she thought briefly) but she was sitting in the middle of a forest with a busted knee and there wasn't much else to do at the moment. She picked at a few leaves and sighed.
"I hate my life," she mumbled. "I mean, it's good, but…I can't do this. I can't talk to a squirrel. This is insane, completely insane."
The squirrel only blinked a few times in response. Quinn sat in silence, occasionally glancing at the squirrel that was now occupying itself by digging through the leaves. In only a few minutes it scampered off. Quinn sighed.
The blonde settled her head back against the tree and looked up through the branches at the sun that was slowly rising up in the sky. She had no idea how long she was sitting on the forest floor but it was long enough that she had plenty of time to think. Her most visited thought? Rachel. Rachel and that look on her face the night before. The look that cracked even Quinn's heart. Hell, it probably would've even made Santana flinch, Quinn thought. What she wouldn't give to take that back.
She thought about how she couldn't talk to her mother, she couldn't talk to Rachel, she couldn't even talk to a damn squirrel. She couldn't tell her mother that she wanted so badly to have a mother/daughter relationship where they could gossip about what was going on at school while shopping or just sitting at dinner. She couldn't tell Rachel that she was insanely jealous of her; jealous of her relationship with her dads, jealous of her budding relationship with her own mother, jealous of her unconditional confidence. She thought about how something had to change before everything shattered.
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Two days. Two days of eyes locking with Quinn's and Rachel wishing she could say something but she couldn't. She wanted to so desperately. Quinn came to breakfast with her eyes red and swollen every morning and it just sucked. Rachel searched the cabin for a thesaurus the one morning to try and find a stronger word for "tension" because "tense" didn't even begin to cover the environment when she got up that morning. She sat across from an even more red-eyed Quinn than normal at breakfast where not much was said by either girl. Quinn left shortly after, stating she was going for a run. Rachel didn't miss the sigh from Judy as Quinn left the cabin. She felt horrible but before Judy had the chance to ask her to have more "girl time", Rachel barricaded herself in her room with her laptop and the movies she'd picked out.
A couple hours later there was a knock on her bedroom door; Rachel didn't have time to say anything before Judy came in, worry all over her face.
"Qu-Quinn didn't come back. She didn't take her phone and she never goes running this long. I know haven't…I know you're not close but did she say anything to you? Did you hear her talk on the phone? Anything?"
Rachel furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head. Before she could even think she sprang out of bed and grabbed her shoes, a first aid kit, and was out the door. Quinn's mother was heading into town while the Berry men took the SUV to the lake. Rachel was on foot in the surrounding woods and staying close to the cabin in case Quinn came back. She called out for the blonde again and again with no response.
Half an hour into the hunt, Rachel's phone rang. It was her dads telling her they hadn't found anything. Rachel surprised herself by whimpering and letting a few tears fall. The exchange a few days before hadn't been forgotten but at the moment, it didn't matter. What mattered was finding Quinn because, if nothing else, Judy didn't need the stress. However, as the moments started ticking by, Rachel found herself more and more worried about the younger blonde. She didn't want anything happening to Quinn, and not because she knew Santana and Brittany would blame her, but because she was really worried.
The Berrys weren't overly religious. They went to Temple on major holidays or when Michael's parents were in town but other than that, Rachel didn't really have a deep connection to her religion. She did know for a fact, though, that Quinn prayed. She prayed a lot. Another fifteen minutes after the phone call and Rachel found herself mumbling under her breath, asking for whoever was listening that Quinn was okay.
Rachel was incredibly close to giving up and heading back to the cabin when she heard it. She had called out another time and this time, unlike all the others, she heard a familiar voice calling back. Rachel took off running, far off the path she was on, all the while calling for (hopefully) Quinn to stay where she was and keep yelling.
Relief wasn't near what Rachel felt when she saw Quinn sitting on the forest floor up against a tree. She had no idea why she did it but the first thing Rachel did was drop to her knees and throw her arms around the blonde's shoulders. The bigger shock? Quinn's arms returned the embrace.
"Are you okay?" Rachel managed to squeak out while holding back her tears.
She heard Quinn choke a little before the blonde gave a simple nod and clutched a little tighter.
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Quinn wasn't sure if it was the pain, the sun, or maybe that it was close to lunch and her blood sugar was low or something but whatever it was it made her want Rachel to be the one to find her. When she heard a voice, a very familiar voice, call out her name she almost cried.
"Rachel! Rachel, I'm over here!"
Rachel's voice returned, telling Quinn to stay where she was. That wouldn't be a problem. When Rachel was in sight, Quinn almost broke. When Rachel threw her arms around Quinn's shoulders, she did.
"Are you okay?"
Quinn opened her mouth and the words, "I am now" were on the tip of her tongue but all she could manage was a choked sob and to hold onto Rachel a little tighter. When Rachel pulled back she pushed Quinn's hair away from her face and Quinn didn't recoil or even flinch, she just kept her hands on Rachel's shoulders.
"I tripped," Quinn finally managed to get out. "My knee…" she looked down to her right knee, now swollen and bruised.
"Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"
Quinn nodded and before she could stop herself she blurted out, "I'm so sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean -"
Rachel cut her off by shaking her head, her expression unreadable. "If you like, we'll talk about it later. Right now I need to call your mother and let her know you're alright."
Quinn nodded and waited for Rachel to call her mother. When Rachel held the phone out for Quinn to talk, the blonde only shook her head. Rachel sighed and ended the conversation then turned to her first aid bag. Quinn instinctively held out her hands; her palms were scraped and covered in dirt. Rachel took Quinn's right hand in hers and poured water from a water bottle over it then squirted a dab of soap from a small travel-size bottle. Quinn winced at the slight sting as she washed her hands and then rinsed them with the remainder of the water.
"This is going to sting a little," Rachel said, holding up the alcohol wipes.
Quinn nodded. She whimpered a bit at the sting. It was followed by ointment and wrappings in gauze.
Rachel produced two ice packs and an ace wrap from her bag and then rummaged around again before producing a t-shirt. She wrapped Quinn's knee in the shirt, broke the barriers on the ice packs and shook them then motioned for Quinn to hold one on either side of her knee while she wrapped it with the bandage.
"I guess you paid more attention in Girl Scouts than I did," Quinn said with a small smile.
Rachel chuckled. "I did memorize the handbook."
"I'm glad you did." Quinn winced as Rachel cleaned and bandaged her other knee.
"It has come in handy in first-aid needed situations. Do you think you can stand?" Rachel packed away the first-aid supplies and slung the bag over her shoulder. She knelt again and slipped one arm around Quinn's waist. Quinn swallowed hard and, using Rachel as a crutch, she hoisted herself up off the ground. She was a little dizzy and her good knee went a little weak; Rachel tightened her grip on both her waist and up on Quinn's arm that was wrapped around the brunette's shoulders.
"Just give it a minute," Rachel said. "I've got you, Quinn. I won't let go. I'm here."
She may have only meant it for that situation but Rachel's assurance that she was right there made Quinn feel a little better, a little safer, a little…lov-cared for. She leaned heavily on Rachel as she hopped forward little by little.
"How far out was I?" Quinn groaned as she leaned against a tree. She'd been begging Rachel to stop for a while but the brunette had insisted only a little further.
"Rather far. You shouldn't have strayed from the path, Quinn. Anything could've happened, you know? Trails are there for a reason."
"I know." Quinn bit her tongue from a snide remark about Rachel talking too much. The girl had just rescued her, after all.
"Luckily there was a section on navigating in the Girl Scout handbook and I feel quite confident in my skills to get us back to the cabin."
"Please don't get us lost any further, okay?"
Rachel smirked and started to walk off. Quinn almost yelled until Rachel pushed a tree branch out of the way revealing the clearing their cabin was settled on. "Do you want me to go get my dads?"
"Sure. I don't want to stunt your growth or anything. Well…any more." Quinn smiled.
Rachel rolled her eyes but it was with a grin. "I'll be back."
"Rachel," Quinn blurted out, stopping the brunette. Rachel turned and quirked an eyebrow; Quinn took a deep breath and decided now was as good a time as any to work on changing. "Thanks…for everything. Rescuing me…you know."
"I'm happy to be your knight in shining armor, Quinn. Well, whatever the female version of a knight is." Rachel nodded.
Quinn waited leaning by the tree for Bruce to come and scoop her up to get her back to the cabin. He settled her on the couch with a pillow under her knee; Rachel knelt down by the couch and readjusted the ace wrap and ice packs. Judy was going crazy and talking a hundred miles a minute, the last thing Quinn caught was, "…going home immediately…"
"Mom, stop! I…I don't want to go home. Isn't there like…a doctor I can see here?"
"Quinnie, I thought…are you sure?"
Quinn looked down to the end of the couch where Rachel was re-bandaging her other knee. Rachel gave a small smile and smoothed down the gauze and Quinn's focus went back to her mother.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Rachel immediately searched a phonebook for the location for the nearest urgent care center. In only a matter of minutes, Quinn found herself in a doctor's office with her mother on one side of the table…and Rachel on the other. Bruce had carried her to the car and Rachel had immediately jumped into the back seat. Quinn smiled a little. It was a start; and after sitting in the woods for three hours she figured it was kind of time for a new start.
"You didn't have to come," Quinn said. Rachel opened her mouth to speak but Quinn cut her off. "But I'm glad you did."
Rachel smiled wide. "I wouldn't be your knight in shining armor if I didn't make sure you were alright after the rescue."
Thankfully, her cheerleading career wasn't going to be coming to an end. Quinn's knee was only badly strained and she needed to stay off of it for a while; nothing was dislocated or torn. Rachel nodded furiously at everything the doctor said. Quinn rolled her eyes playfully. The doctor handed her a prescription for painkillers and directed Judy to the pharmacy next door to pick up the pills and a set of crutches while Rachel waited with Quinn.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked, yet again. "Can I get you anything?"
"I'm fine, Rachel. Thanks."
Rachel nodded. "Just tell me if there's something you need."
Quinn shook her head and smiled. For a pair that was close to killing each other only a few days before there was a surprising comfort between them now. Rachel was being incredibly nurturing, it made Quinn regret even more the comment she made about Shelby. It hit her that Rachel, a girl who grew up without a mother, was more nurturing than Quinn thought she'd ever be even with growing up in a "traditional" household. Her conservative upbringing said that mothers were to be nurturing, fathers were the disciplinarians and that was how well-rounded children came about. However, Quinn had witnessed first hand the nurturing nature of both of Rachel's fathers and Rachel hadn't really turned out too bad aside from being a little egotistical and almost too determined sometimes.
The door to the doctor's office opening and Judy appearing with crutches and a pharmacy bag knocked Quinn out of her thoughts. She slowly made her way back to the car with Rachel practically glued to her side. When they returned to the cabin a makeshift bed had been set up on the couch complete with pillows for Quinn to keep her knee propped up. Judy went back into town to get more ice packs and larger elastic bandages; Rachel set to work on a sandwich because Quinn had barely mumbled that she was hungry. She was presented with the sandwich on a tray along with a painkiller, glass of milk, and slices of apple.
"It says to take with food," Rachel said. "I want to ensure you get the full benefit."
"You'll make a great mom someday, you know?" Quinn glanced up from her sandwich to see Rachel open and close her mouth a few times before settling on a small smile. "I didn't mean what I said, you know? The other night."
Rachel pulled over an armchair and sat down with a deep breath. "It's true. Shelby didn't want me."
"Yes she did. I mean, she did look for you."
Rachel shrugged. "She didn't want a teenager. She wanted a baby…She did get what she wanted in the end…I got nothing."
Quinn dropped her head and took an apple slice. Yes, Shelby got what she wanted. Shelby got Beth. Shelby got Beth because Quinn couldn't be a mother. She didn't know how to be the mother she wanted to be.
"I suppose," Rachel continued after the silence, "that we have a little something in common, not only with Shelby but with our familial situation. The only difference is that you still have a chance with your mother. She does love you, Quinn. What I said was out of anger and retaliation but it was a lie and I'm so very sorry for that."
"We both said things we regret. Look…I just…" Quinn sighed. "I can't talk."
"Would you like me to lea-"
"No, no I mean…I don't know how. We never talked about anything when I was growing up; we just pushed it all aside. I don't know how to talk about bad things."
Rachel nodded. "Well, as someone who is quite loquacious, my advice to you is to simply talk about the bad things in the way you talk about the good. And, for future information, I'm also quite good at listening should you ever want to talk."
Quinn nodded and finished off her sandwich and apple slices. She took her painkiller with the remainder of her glass of milk and Rachel took the empty tray to the kitchen. Rachel returned to her chair and in only a few minutes, Quinn's brain started swimming and her world started getting fuzzy. There was a loud slam of what sounded like a door but Quinn didn't really care. The last thing she was aware of was being covered by a blanket, a hand on hers, and soft singing. It was strange, though, that the singing didn't come from a brunette but from a blonde.
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As Quinn drifted into her drug-induced sleep, Rachel took her tray to the kitchen and returned to the side of the couch. Just as she sat down Judy came in through the back door. Rachel got up immediately and took the bag from Judy's hand and motioned for the older blonde to go to her daughter's side. Rachel watched from the kitchen as Judy took the blanket from the back of the couch and covered her daughter then sat down in the arm chair and slipped her hand into Quinn's that was sticking out of the blanket.
The brunette busied herself with the dishes and putting the ice packs in the freezer, all the while listening to Judy whisper to her daughter.
"I know you don't remember, Quinnie, but I sang to you. Every night, I would sing to you. It was the only thing that would calm you down when you were upset. Much to your father's disapproval you loved when I'd sing anything by Cyndi Lauper."
Rachel smiled as Judy began softly singing the beginning of "Time After Time".
Despite Rachel's protests, Quinn got up off the couch for dinner. For the first time, a meal in the cabin was pleasant and filled with conversation from all parties. Rachel and Quinn talked about glee club and things that they wanted to do for the remainder of the vacation. At one point Quinn suggested camping; Rachel nodded furiously.
"Rachel," Michael said, "sweetie, we tried camping once when you were ten. It…didn't work."
"I vividly remember that, Dad. I still have scars. However, I'm older now and I believe it would be a good experience." Rachel looked back to Quinn with a smile that widened when Quinn chuckled.
"It's settled then," Bruce said, "as soon as Quinn's knee is healed we'll pack up and go camping for a few days. I saw a place in town where we can rent everything we need."
Following dinner, Rachel helped Quinn to the living room and got the blonde settled back on the couch with an ice pack on her knee. Rachel wasn't entirely sure when this whole nurturing thing had kicked in or even that she had it in her but she did know that taking care of Quinn felt…nice. The insults and slushies and hateful attitude still floated around in the back of her mind, sure, but something in Rachel snapped when she saw the blonde helpless sitting on the forest floor. She felt the need to take care of Quinn. It made up for accidentally killing her two goldfish when she was seven. She also felt the need to prove to Quinn (and maybe a little bit to herself) that she didn't need a mother to show her how to be compassionate and nurturing.
After the debacle with Shelby, Rachel's relationship with her dads was a strained. It was part of the reason why they decided on a two month vacation instead of a few weeks this summer. They needed time to regroup as a family, to get back to where they were before Shelby unexpectedly waltzed back into their lives. Rachel knew it was her fault. She felt beyond guilty and her therapist was working several hours a week trying to get her back to normal. Following that up with Jesse St. James…it was all incredibly overwhelming. Her dads had been there for her through it all and nurtured her and loved her despite her flaws. Rachel smiled a little as she smoothed out Quinn's blanket and thought about caring for the Cheerio, despite her flaws, just as her fathers had done for her.
"I believe we should begin planning our camping trip as soon as…Quinn?"
Quinn was smiling wide and her eyelids were drooping. Rachel giggled a little when the blonde started to drool a bit before she nodded off to sleep.
"She took another painkiller at dinner," Judy said as she came in from the kitchen.
Rachel nodded and patted Quinn on the top of the head before curling up in one of the big armchairs with her book. Soon enough her own bed was calling her, the events of the day finally catching up and taking their toll. She checked her text messages, there were three from Finn. All of them attempts at sexting.
Rach im thinkin bout u….wearin that black cat suit thing. U kno what im talkin about.
Baby im so hard rite now.
Where r u? im rly turned on, i wanna talk.
Rachel rolled her eyes and sent Finn a quick text telling him she had a long day and was headed to bed. Just as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was fast asleep.