Just My Luck

Ben POV

"Damn it!" I muttered, rubbing my face with my hands.

"Why don't you just open the bond then?" Warren asked, tiredly, no doubt he was fed up with my constant cursing.

"It's not as easy as that."

"Well…it's not a dog…you can't just say 'I'm not giving in to you because then you'll get used to it' because you can't train it. Am I right?" He asked.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "But that's not the problem."

"Well, I don't see another one." He flopped back down on his bed. Trust me to get stuck with Warren and away form my mate.

"Porsche is the problem." I sighed, "If I give in like this she'll claim her victory and I'll be stuck listening to it for the rest of eternity."

"Eternity is a long time." Warren chuckled and I glared at him. "But if it's causing you physical pain-"

"It's not, I'm fine." I growled and sat on my bed. I stand by what I said about Warren and Tolinka sharing a room, who can possibly feel threatened by a gay man? I don't have a problem with it, though I admit I did at first. And I understand he's dominant, but unless he suddenly loses all control to his wolf, he's the safest were' she could possibly be with. Sticking her with Porsche was a stupid move.

Not that I don't trust her it's just…I don't…well…trust her with other people.

She's got some social problems, mostly threatening to kill people- -which she did almost get kicked out of school for recently. I blinked as the lights suddenly shut off and I turned to see Warren moving back to his bed.

"Last chance to go save her from a night of hell." Warren commented and I shook my head. "Okay…" He chuckled and turned his back to me. "'Night then."

He was still laughing, personally I didn't find it all that damn amusing! I sighed again and looked towards the door.

"She's not coming in here, Ben, she's not going to if I know her." Warren didn't sound amused anymore.

"Well, what do you suggest I do?" I snapped, "Give in and admit I was wrong?"

"Who said you'd have to admit anything? Did you tell her it was better this way?"

"No." I grumbled.

"Then you're not admitting that you're weaker than Porsche in any way shape or form. Even though you are." I glared at him. "You are, Benjamin."

Whenever someone wants to be serious they call me Benjamin. Is it necessary? No because I go by Ben perfectly fine.

"I am not."

"You still think women are weaker than men?" Warren sat up and looked at me with more curiosity than anything else.

"Yes."

"After everything you've seen in your life, you still think that?" He asked again.

I nodded.

"Then you're out of your mind. Porsche is one of the strongest little girls I know."

I winced and dropped my gaze.

"You told her and she was still fine with it." Warren reminded. "She obviously could care less about her own age."

"Doesn't mean I don't." I shot back.

"No, no, I wasn't' saying that." I heard his bed creak as he leaned back. I let out a huff.

I growled again.

"How do you think she's handling it?" He asked and I looked up.

"Not well." I admitted.

"And why do you think that?"

"Did you ever notice- -" I began.

"The scars on her wrist? I'm older than you are, Ben, but I'm more observant. Yes, I've noticed. I have never felt the need to say anything, but I've noticed." He gave me this look that I just couldn't read. "I found it particularly interesting they didn't appear until she came back from her three days in Montana when Adam was on that rampage. And I found it even more interesting that it didn't stop until after she started talking with her old friends."

I was startled, that is what I had been missing right there. I had thought all of them were from Montana.

"No…she…how did Mercy and Adam just…let her?"

"They didn't have to know. She heals fast enough even if it was a silver dagger that did it. Perhaps they simply thought it was part of her suicide problem at the Marrok's." Warren shrugged. "Adam may be strict and it may seem like he knows everything, but he doesn't.

"She didn't, she stopped right after she came home!" I growled, not wanting to believe it. I knew it could be true, that she hadn't stopped right away, but I had consoled myself with the fact it was her father's fault. If it was mine…

"No, Ben, she didn't." He paused for a moment, "Ask her. Talk to her about it. You should be the one to know. Don't you two share thoughts?"

"Unlike most, it's a little more complicated than that." I mumbled. "I can't fucking believe this, how could I be so blind?"

"She's not doing it anymore. And she obviously never cut deep enough, just enough it left a mark. She was just pondering her options, I'm sure. I mean, one of us would be suspicious if she asked to go across the way to where the river is." Warren assured.

"She could've done some serious damage." I muttered, holding my head in my hands.

"I assume you've thought about this before."

"What do you think made me go through with it?" I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

Warren blinked then snarled and I know my eyes widened.

"You mean this is all a joke, Ben? You're just doing it to keep her from hurting herself? Because if you're messing with Porsche- -"

I shook my head, eyes still slightly wider than usual.

"No, it's not a joke." I dropped backwards onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. "I'm in love with a sixteen year old wolf-coyote cross with two different colored eyes, voices in her head, a way with words, and a smile that will make me grin like a fool."

"You are a fool." Warren had calmed down with my explanation. "But at least you have someone."

I turned my head to look at him and he smiled.

"You've been a lonely hermit for how many years of your life?" He laughed, "I was starting to wonder if maybe you were gay too. I was getting worried."

I laughed too.

It was one in the morning already.

"Well, as much as I hate sounding like a mother, I think it's time to get some shut eye before we fall asleep tomorrow when we're supposed to be fighting."

I nodded and staid laying down where I was.

Talking was a bit of a distraction, but damn it, it hurt like hell when we were apart like this.

I wonder if she saw the irony of it, of slicing herself with a silver dagger.

Because every moment we aren't together just feels like a silver dagger has been plunged into my heart and twisted.

Damn.

A/N-

Okay there it is! now i need some shut eye myself! so tired! such a bad first day

ok my day was horrible XD i got lost on my way to Theology, I fell down on the stairs...twice, fell UP the stairs...twice, tripped a few times, could NOT open my locker at ALL so some poor girl next to me probably knows my combination better than i do! couldnt work the gym locker to get it to OPEN to put it ON my locker so i forgot about that, got lost again, left an assignment from orientation in my locker, was late to the bus and missed it because he left ON TIME today! XD such a bad day!

so yeah u can c y i just wanna sleep!

Notloggedin:

yeah well i was in the mood for depression and theres gonna b more ben POV in the next chap because I COULDN'T EFFING GET DONE IN THIS ONE! without dying for sleep.

yes yes i did :) i was oldest and craziest therefore the best 4 the job!

XD he should

ok ok! i will update!

Julz:

:) so was i

yeah when he stood up like that it made me wonder if briggs had something up her sleeve… :) thanks! and i love that awesomely epic smiley!

i g2g but PLEASE REVIEW! the more the happier!

and b4 i go, u guys should read some fanfics/one-shots by QuickStar cuz im beta-ing 4 her and i absolutely love them!

GIMH