A/N: Hey everyone. Thank you for all the patience ya'll had while I was gone. I wanted to get another chapter up today to say thank you. Still working on replying to everyone's review, so if I haven't gotten to you yet...I will. I promise. Take care all and as always, Please Read and Review.
Special thanks to Kristine Thorne, my very lovely beta. You have done a great job on this story and I very much appreciate it.
Disclaimer (since its been a few chapters) : I don't own the HP characters. I'm just a bit of a perv who likes to play with them for fun. lol.
Chapter 12
1993-The end of Hermione's second year at Hogwarts
Severus sat in his office one evening thinking about the events of the year that just ended. So much had happened. But the worst part for him was hearing about Hermione Granger being petrified. As much as that child annoyed him, she was still part of someone who hadn't.
He had forced himself to not go running to the hospital wing though his heart had raced at learning the news of her petrifaction. He had hoped that his Hermione didn't find out about her child. Feared how upset she would be over hearing how much danger her daughter had been in. So he hoped she didn't learn the news until her child was okay.
Had this Hermione here at school not been clever enough to use the mirror she might have died at seeing the Basilisk in the flesh, instead of just a reflection of it. He knew his Hermione would have been devastated by the news had her child died. He knew he would have done whatever he could to be there for her when she learned of it. Though he didn't know how he would have been able to be there for her.
She had left and not contacted him in over fourteen years. He had been incapable of finding her also. Though he had tried. He had been stunned when the owls he sent couldn't find her. Owls found everyone. She had not sought him out either.
He always wondered if his being a Death Eater is what made her leave in the end. It's what made him go to Dumbledore to become a spy. Hoping it would somehow bring her back. Only it hadn't.
What made her stay away from me completely? He didn't know. But he still held out the hope of one day finding her to ask. Maybe she didn't know he had switched sides. Maybe she didn't care.
He did wonder over the years if she had kept the ring he gave her. If she still wore it. But he knew in some way it didn't matter if she had. He still hadn't seen or heard from her either way.
He had come to the hospital when he knew Poppy was gone and seen the girl who looked so much like his Hermione lying there. He had seen her lying there in her school uniform.
Dark gray pleated skirt with its gold and burgundy belt. Grey sweater vest over her white shirt and tie. Her dark knee socks, and black shoes finishing off her uniform, making her look just like her mum did in her uniform back then. Only younger than her mum had looked.
He took in her form lying there on the bed. A pillow bracing her legs since her right leg was bent like she was frozen mid step. Her right arm up, with her fingers curled like she was holding something. Which she had, she had held a mirror to see behind her as she walked backwards.
Her other arm lying by her side, curled up into a fist. Her same chocolate colored eyes open and her small lips parted, almost like she froze mid-word. Her hair was not as frizzy as it had been last year, and it was longer, hanging down past her shoulders.
He would reach up and touch her raised hand, holding it gently as he stroked her cheek softly. Hoping to get the Mandrake Root soon to cure her. Hoping to spare his Hermione the grief of seeing her daughter like this.
Her skin feeling hard, like solid granite under his hand. She was a spitting image of her mother. He couldn't help but notice it. She looked even more like her than she did the year before. It had to be her mother. Its impossible to have this strong of a resemblance and it not be her mother.
Though he heard Draco call her a Mudblood. But how is that possible? His Hermione was a witch. She wasn't a muggle. So how was this Hermione a muggle born, when she looked so much like his Hermione? Was it possible that she didn't know her mother was a witch?
That seemed unlikely. His Hermione was too powerful a witch to hide it for long. To not let anyone see her magical capabilities in all that time was highly unlikely.
This younger Hermione was very strong in magic too. He could see already how smart and talented she was. Just like his Hermione had been.
He didn't know why he kept going there that year to see her. He'd been every night to see her since she had been brought in. Maybe he just hoped to be close to Hermione again, his Hermione. Even if it is through this one now frozen one that looked like her.
He never stayed long. Just a few moments each night. He didn't want to be caught. He didn't want her friends to find him there. Nor did he want Poppy to find him either.
He held her hand while he stood over her each night. Remembering his Hermione as he stared down at this frozen one. He would stroke her hard cheek once more before he left again.
Now he sat in his office and sighed as he reached out for the book she had given him for Christmas so many years ago. He always had it on his desk. He had lost count of the number of times he had read it so far.
But when he did read it, it made him remember sitting on the sofa in the Room of Requirement as he read to her. He would remember her lying down, with her feet in his lap as she did nothing more than watch him as he read. Her perfume drifting over and surrounding him like it always did.
He knew her scent very well. He had found her bottle of perfume after she had gone. Minerva had made sure he had found it. He had kept it too. Uncapping it and taking a whiff of its delicate fragrance every now and then to remember. Not that he could ever truly forget.
He pushed the thoughts away. Locking them up behind the tight impenetrable wall he had built in his mind. Not wanting anyone to have a way to look in and see anything about her.
He had other things to worry about. The Dark Lord might be gone, but he was not forgotten. Things were brewing. Things were coming. This war was not over yet, but he would make sure the side of light won. He would keep his Hermione's child safe as best as he could. It was the one thing he could do for her now.
1978-Twenty-one years into the past
Hermione had met him in the Room of requirement that night after dinner, but he still saw a hint of sadness in her eyes. She worked with him on his wandless spells and he found he was doing much better, but she wasn't as in to it as she normally was.
He finally said they should give it a rest after only an hour. He saw her repeatedly showing him how to produce the spell by doing it herself, she was slowly getting drained. He didn't have the same draining effect happen to him, but his didn't always work so maybe that was why.
She didn't hang out too much after they stopped either. Claiming to be tired and wanting to go to bed. He let her go, walking her back to her dorm though she said he didn't have to.
The next few days she was slightly reserved. Even her other friends noticed it. But each time she simply said she wasn't sleeping well and was just tired.
He had been looking for her several days later, and when he couldn't find her, he went to the Room of Requirement just to see if she was there. He found that he could go inside, so he did, and saw her working out again.
She had five Death Eater dummies attacking her at once and he found it amazing that she could handle so many at once. Their spells hit her a few times now and then, making him wince when she cringed slightly. She never took a hit anywhere that could have been a fatal shot. The spells catching her arm, or leg. But she didn't stop.
He didn't know how long she had been at it, but he knew he had been standing there quietly in the back watching her for at least thirty minutes. She didn't call it quits until they had her surrounded and she couldn't get out of it.
He knew had that been a real fight, she would have been dead. When she called for the room to stop, a goblet and jug of water appeared for her. She drank down a few cups of the cool liquid, before finally turning to him.
He saw in her eyes that she hadn't been aware of his presence, but he saw too that her sadness was finally gone. Which made it click for him. This is what she used the room for.
It wasn't to practice or simply burn off too much energy. It was to help her work through whatever was bothering her. Knowing how often she used the room, he realized how much she hid from him and her other friends.
He had taken to using the room as well at night. Long after everyone was in bed, he would come in here and practice. Setting up practice dummies, minus the masks, and running through several training sessions. He started with one dummy and slowly built up until he could handle a second one attacking at the same time. It helped to sharpen his skills, but only after he too added the dummies firing mild stinging hexes.
She had been right. It helped show him where he was letting his guard down or simply making mistakes. Knowing this, he found he was making less of them now.
He was thinking about adding a third dummy, just to see if he could take it. But after seeing her handle five of them at once, again made him wonder where she learned to fight so well.
She had stuck around and chatted with him for a bit, then said she needed a shower before bed. He had let her go again without asking or saying anything.
He saw she was back to being all smiles again after that. Laughing and joking around with her friends, though she was still leery of Peter. She even started teasing Severus.
The first few times, he had been angry. Thinking she was serious in her jokes. Now he took it a lot better, knowing she was just playing like she did with the Trio of Morons.
Now a week later, he was on his way to the Room of Requirement again. Dinner was over and he had seen her heading towards her dorm with her friends. They hadn't made any plans, so he decided to do a bit of training on his own.
He set his wards, using the same ones he did when they were teaching each other. No one but the two of them could enter the room and the room had been silenced.
He slipped off his long black robes as well as his vest and tie. He called to the room to begin and the first dummy attacked. Twenty minutes in, he found it was getting rather hot, so he stripped off his shirts, leaving him bare from the waist up.
He had practiced moving like he had seen her doing. Ducking and pivoting while blocking the oncoming spells shot at him and shooting spells in return. The mimicked moves keeping him from getting hit and allowing him to fire his own and keep on moving.
He had just called out for a third to be added when the two dummies moved in for the kill. He dodged one spell and blocked the other. Firing a shot to destroy the first one, as the second came at him again.
He raised his wand and fired, he pivoted but had lost his balance, and he saw the third behind him shooting a spell. Only he didn't have time to react. He knew he was going to take the hit, and that it would hit him in the chest since he was on his back.
The spell suddenly hit an invisible wall and the dummy exploded. He looked around and saw Hermione, leaning against the side wall with a grin on her face. He called for the room to stop as he sat up, watching her.
She pushed off the wall and moved closer to him. "You know sitting down on the job is going to get you hexed. I'm assuming it was stinging jinxes."
Severus swallowed and nodded but didn't say anything else. His mind racing that his shirts were behind her on the sofa and his arm with his mark was exposed. So far, with the way he was sitting, she couldn't see it, but it would only be a matter of time.
Hermione took in his half naked form and felt the fluttering inside her again. Okay, so I'm attracted to him. She thought. She always thought he had been a bit mysterious as her professor and always thought that had he been nicer, he might have been attractive even then.
She kept her eyes on his, seeing the mask in place and wondering at it. He only put that blank mask on when he was hiding something she had found. Her walls in place so he couldn't see into her thoughts, she started trying to figure out what he was hiding.
Getting over to him, she held out a hand to him, to help him back onto his feet. But he didn't take it right away. She frowned slightly and saw him finally give her his other hand. Making her helping him up a bit awkward.
"Thanks." He said, still trying to keep his mark hidden. He knew that if he moved passed her to get his clothes, he risked her seeing it, but without his shirts he knew she would spot it eventually.
Hermione was still puzzled by the stiff set of his frame and the mask he kept in place. She wondered briefly if he was annoyed at her seeing him with the dummies or if her helping him had been what seemed to upset him. He did have an awful lot of pride after all.
"Um…should I go?" She finally asked when he still didn't speak. "You seem upset that I'm here."
Severus didn't want her to go, but he didn't want her to see his mark. The color so dark against his incredibly pale skin that it stood out even more. Finally he sighed.
"No, I'm just…I guess I'm just not thrilled that I had forgotten about the third dummy and it snuck up on me." He said, which was partially true.
She nodded. Her eyes raking over him, and the flutter in her belly getting worse. She swallowed and dropped her gaze. She saw a mild graze on his arm from his fall to the stone floor and saw it was bleeding. She reached for his arm but he quickly pulled away. The bleeding arm was the one carrying his dark mark.
She raised her eyes to his. "I'm sorry. I just saw that you were bleeding. Here let me take care of it. I'm pretty good at healing spells."
When she reached for him again, he again pulled away. "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it later."
Her brows drew together. "Do you know healing spells?" She was curious since not many students seemed to know them.
He shook his head. "No, but I'll just clean it up and it will heal on its own."
She smiled. "Severus, that's just silly. Let me heal it." She reached out quickly and took his arm before he could move away. Turning it over before he could stop her, her wand ready to cast the healing charm and saw the skull and snake tattoo.
He stiffened even more, waiting for her to freak out and run away. He knew he had lost her now. She would know what he was and that would be the end of it.
His surprise came when she merely waved her wand over it, healing the mild wound and then gave him a smile. She let go of his arm and accio'd his shirt for him.
He stared at her in shocked confusion while she held it out for him. "Why…why are you still here?"
She arched a brow at him. "Did you want me to leave?"
He shook his head still not understanding. "No…but…you have to know what that thing on my arm is." His eyes searching hers and looked for some sign of panic or disgust.
Understanding, she smiled. "Yes, I know the dark mark when I see it. I've seen plenty of them. I know you're a Death Eater Severus. I have for a while."
His shock grew seeing her look so calm while she said that to him. She knew? How did she know? His eyes narrowing in suspicion. "How…how do you know and why do you look so calm about it?"
She sighed. She had known she would have to admit to knowing and had planned what she would tell him. Rehearsing it in her mind so much that it came out easily as if it were true.
"Severus, I've seen you react to being summoned. I've seen you try to hide the burning in your arm as you searched for an excuse. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why your arm would suddenly start twitching as you tried to stop yourself from reaching up and grabbing it." She said gently.
He frowned at her. He didn't like that he hadn't been able to hide it. How many other people have noticed my reaction? "So why are you so calm about it? I've seen you fighting the dummy Death Eaters. You obviously are against them, so why are you still friends with me knowing I'm one too?"
She handed him his shirt, since he hadn't taken it yet. He slipped his arms into it, but didn't button it. He simply stared at her, waiting for her to answer his question.
She sighed again, taking his arm and leading him to the sofa. Pushing him down into it, she took a seat next to him. "Severus, I'm not here to judge you for what you do. I'm sure you have your reasons, and I'm not going to ask you to explain them. You're a good person." She hoped she didn't change anything by her telling him this.
Severus was turned towards her, staring at her intently for several moments. "I don't…understand you." He finally said.
She smiled sadly. "There isn't much to understand. I've seen enough things in my life to be pretty tolerant of stuff. I may fight Death Eaters, but even I know that not all of them are pure evil."
He frowned at her. "What have you seen?"
Hermione looked down at her hands. She couldn't tell him, but she wanted to. The Severus she knew in her time would have understood anything she said to him. Not that she talked to him much, but he would have understood due to what he had seen and survived. This one hadn't lived through all those horrors yet.
He reached out and lifted her chin. "I know you had something happen because…you are too guarded not to have lived through some kind of tragedy. What happened Hermione?"
Her eyes met his and they were sad again with her memories. "I can't…I can't talk about it. It was horrible, but it's over." For me at least. She thought. "I can't tell you."
His hand still rested under her chin, holding her gaze with his own. "Is what happened why you fight the dummies with the masks in here?"
Hermione bit her lip while trying to decide how best to explain it without revealing too much. "Partially. I do it mainly so I can keep my skills honed as best as I can. The masks just help keep my focus."
He watched her silently. When he opened his mouth to speak he quickly snapped it shut as his arm started to burn. Hermione saw the slight twitch in his arm and knew.
She breathed deeply. "Go. I know you have to."
His eyes met hers as he forced the pain away. "That's why you let me go before isn't it. Why you were suddenly tired each time I was summoned."
She smiled sadly. "I didn't want you to have to lie to me about it. It seemed easier to just let you think I was tired instead."
Arm still burning, he reached up and cupped her cheek. Leaning in he gave her a small kiss on the lips, which she returned softly. Pulling back as he winced when the burning got worse.
She touched his hand that was still on her cheek. "Go."
He looked at her a few moments more before quickly jumping up and with a flick of his wand was fully dressed again. He didn't look back as he strode for the door, his thoughts still swirling in his head.
When the door closed, Hermione sat back and sighed. She didn't know what this new development meant for their future. She just prayed it didn't change anything.
A/N: Oohh, Severus now knows that she knows of his Death Eater ways. Yes, this is going to make Severus very curious, more so than he must be already. But we'll have to wait and see what happens. Take care everyone, and keep the reviews coming. I so love them all.