I know what you're thinking..."THREE CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY?" Yeah...Well I've had a lot of time on my hands, so here you guys go. You guys probably see intense stuff coming to ya, so the story is going to get really intense again, and then it's going to lighten up a bit.

Review away. They are what keeps me writting. :)

Eli's POV

I clench my coffee mug in my hand at the thought of Clare flirting with Fitz. If this was her way of trying to make me jealous, well congratulations…It worked.

I hear the bell from the door swing open from the Dot's entrance and see Adam standing in the doorway and walks swiftly to me. "Clare doesn't like Fitz," Adam says.

I get a bigger grip on my coffee and spitefully take a sip. "I know," I say. "She's just messing with my head."

He orders and coffee and then takes a seat next to me. "Maybe it's some crazed way for trying to get you back."

I look at him. "Well, I'm not forgiving her that easily." I say coldly.

"Well, what are you going to do?" Adam asks me as his coffee is set down in front of him.

I shake my head. "I'm done playing games," I say.

"So, tell her you love her and kiss and make up already!" He says and takes a sip of his coffee.

I smirk. "You're kidding me, right?"

He shakes his head with not even a grin on his face. "No." I look down at the counter and think about if I should forgive her or not. "Eli," Adam starts again. "I know you and Clare have been through a lot. When you guys got in trouble for skipping, when you broke up, made up," His voice starts to trail off. "Broke up, and made up. Broke up, and made up…"

"I get it Adam!" I say and look out into the back of the counter. "We've broken up and made up a lot. That's why I'm having a hard time forgiving her."

Adam's cocky grin fades and looks down at his coffee. "You guys can't stay away from each other for more than two seconds without missing each other.

"That's not-

"You miss Clare, Eli."
"Bu-

"You miss Clare, Eli!" He yells causing the whole Dot to look at us.

I take another sip of my coffee. "There you go getting all wise again."

He laughs and shrugs. He pauses for what looks like he is thinking. "Clare isn't perfect Eli…And neither are you. I'm sure you've made a lot of mistakes too."

I look down and try to make out my words. "She brought up Julia…"

I could feel Adam's face fall to a small gasp. "How?"

"I told her that if she would've come to me I would've understood a little bit better…" I stop there and promise myself not to cry. Be a man, Goldsworthy. "I really don't want to talk about that." I say.

He nods. "You don't have to." He assures me. "I still think you should talk to her though."

"And say what, Adam? That I'm sorry, weak, and…" I stop and try not to say it, but I knew I had to. "Miss her and am…in love with her?"

He makes a thinking face. "Maybe not that you're weak…"

That made me chuckle a bit. Adam was a good guy. He could always cheer me up.

He gets up and gives me two pats on the back. "Just talk to her." He says and then proceeds to leave the Dot.

I step out ignoring my half full cup of coffee and climb into my hearse and sit there for a moment. Was I really ready to talk to her? More importantly, was I really in love with Clare? I think back to the times that we had from the skipping to the dance and how I was never happier. I didn't think that I was actually in love with Clare because the only person I was really in love with was Julia, and I lost her. I didn't want to lose Clare because that would be two people that were close to me that I lost, and I couldn't go through with that again.

I clench my hands on the wheel and thought that maybe I should go home and clear my head. I at least deserved that.

I put the key in the ignition and start it and right then and there, it started to rain. Great, just what I needed was to drive home in the rain.

I arrive home after a short drive there and notice my parents weren't home…again. They were never home and I was usually just left there by myself most of the night because they both work until late hours. I step in and throw the keys on the counter and sit on the couch in the living room which I never spent time in. I was usually down in the basement because it was basically my very own apartment down there.

I heard the thunder boom which made me jump but what made me jump additionally was a knock on the door. That's strange…Who would even bother to go places in the rain.

I pick myself up from the couch and open the door to see Clare with her arms across her chest and her hood resting on her forehead. "What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"Can I come in?" She asks quietly as if she had been…crying maybe?

I nod and let her in and close the door behind me. "Do you need to talk about something?" I ask her.

She sniffles and shakes her head. "I-uh…" She starts but couldn't finish because her face was filled up with more tears. "I don't know."

"Cryptic," I say. I start to walk to the dinning room table and Clare follows and sits in the seat nearest to me. "Go on."

She doesn't say anything and reaches into her pocket and pulls something out. She sets the item on the table that what looks to be…scissors? "I-I don't get it." I say to her holding the scissors in my hand. She doesn't say anything else and pulls out a few more items. Fist she takes out a bunch of small rubber bands and then reaches back in her pocket then takes out a compose. "I see…" I start. "a lot of sharp objects?" I tell her.

She still had her arm partly extended on the table. "A lot of stuff that you can easily hurt yourself with…"

I started to get the point that she was making and got worried. Is she…no. She can't be. "Clare, you're not-

I was cut off by her face filling up with sadness as if she was about to cry even more. Oh crap. I pick up her hand from the table and spin it around to proceed to pull up the sleeve of her jacket. I do so and notice a bunch of gashes and burns on her arm. My eyes widen and look up at her crying face, her arm still resting in my hand. "Oh my god," I say to her quietly. "Clare…" It was terrifying to see this on her. I could hardly think about Clare hurting herself like that. "How long have you been doing this?"

Clare looks away. "A few days after…the incident."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not like you were talking to me." She says calmly, but I could tell she wanted to scream in my face.

I felt really, really bad now. If I would've known that Clare was doing this, I would've never left her in the dust like that. "I-I'm sorry-

"It's too late now because I can't take any of it back." She stops for a second and then looks down at the table. "I can't take anything at all back. I can't take back hooking up with Reese, I can't take back this…I can't take back anything. I tried to stop right after I started but I just couldn't. It was hard to."

"Clare," I start and take both of her hands and they are set in mine. "This isn't the way to deal with things."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?"

"Talk to someone?"

"Right," She says sarcastically. "I'm going to go to a complete stranger and tell them about my life." I shouldn't say this, but this was no time for sarcasm.

"I didn't say that…" I assure her.

She shakes her head. "I can't go to a councilor, Eli." She says. "My mom can't know about any of this."

"…You're going to have to tell her sometime."

She finally looks me in the eyes. "Eli, you were right. I'm hopeless. I wouldn't blame you if you don't want anything left to do with me."

"Clare-

"Let's just face it Eli," She interrupts. "I am hopeless." She puts her arms crossed on the table and then cries into them.

I move closer to her and put my arm around her shoulders and she moves to puts hers around me and she cries into my shoulder.

If I knew all this was going on with Clare, then I would've never walked away from her…