A/N: I'm so nervous! This is coming to the end of my version of season three of Angel the series. Of course, read the disclaimers, I have no rights to the show or characters, I'm just having fun. There are certain parts of the series I wanted to mirror and there are certain characters I wanted to see more of and those I wanted to see less of. So hopefully the changes that are coming, and there's some big ones, will work for you all! Just like the series there's a cliff hangar at the end of the season but not to worry I'll be starting my version of season four right after this! I won't leave you wondering for too long!

Chapter Eight

"It is too late."

"We do not know that."

"He has severed ties with his seer, he has not been performing his duties as champion. His decision is made."

"It is too soon. The other has not begun his journey."

"He will and should he succeed then we will have another champion worthy of a seer and the light."

"And this one?"

"We can watch. Should he get back on the path, there is hope for him."

"He will not have his seer to keep him on his path."

"That was his choice. He will either succeed and be that much closer to his humanity, or he will fail."

"Failing puts him in their hands. For him to be on the other side. . . "

"It is no longer in our hands. The light is."

AA

It had been two weeks. Things had settled into a kind of routine. An uncomfortable one. Cordelia and the baby had yet to leave the hospital, Wesley had only left once to get a few things for Cordelia and himself. Fred saw even less of Gunn, and she and Lorne were taking care of the Hyperion. There were no cases. Angel refused to take any, and so most of the work around the Hyperion was cleaning and shopping and living. Angel had finally gotten Connor to be comfortable around the hotel again though he still didn't leave him out of his sight. Fred had done some paperwork that morning, finally getting the hang of Cordy's style of filing, sort of. Finally seeing Gunn they agreed to go visit at the hospital and said good bye to Lorne just as Angel came downstairs with Connor. He set the toddler down and let him stumble around until he grabbed onto the couch and stood there, bouncing in place. Lorne grinned at the two.

"Good morning, champ. How are we all doing this morning?"

"Exhausted. And hungry. Let me get him a, bottle."

Lorne knew he was still unsure about feeding Connor, not sure if he'd moved to solid foods or not. Lorne nodded and sat on a couch near Connor to keep an eye on him as Angel went to the kitchen. He headed back with his own mug and the bottle, which Connor just threw at the floor and blew a rasberry at it. Angel sighed and sat down.

"He's not sleeping. Neither am I. I thought, he was just having a hard time adjusting but, he's fine. He's, talking, did you know he's talking? Just a couple of words. "

"Now, just hear me out here, Angelcakes Could it be neither of you are sleeping because you are missing something you need?"

"Lorne. . "

"What you both need is in that hospital and you know it."

Angel almost growled, setting the mug down with an audible crack on the table and shoving his hands in his pockets. The baby jumped a bit then flopped onto his butt. Lorne simply sat back and crossed his legs. He saw the frustration building, Angel had been fluctuating all week. Brooding, non talkative, muttering. It was coming and Lorne was about ready for Angel to finally see the light.

"She needs you too, you know. They both do."

Angel whirled on him. His eyes flashing and while normally that would bother Lorne, he knew the vampire was angrier at himself than the demon messenger.

"It's my fault she's in the hospital! Everything that's happened, my fault! She got visions that nearly killed her, was attacked several times by Wolfram and Hart, kidnapped, raped!"

His arms shook, it was the first time it was voiced. Everyone knew, they'd figured it out even though as far as they knew, Cordelia had never admitted it. Lorne's face softened, sometimes reading auras was a bad thing. He knew the truth and knew it wasn't his place to affirm it for anyone. Angel shook his head and lowered his voice, resignation coating his words.

"How can I face her? How can she not blame me?"

Lorne nodded and slapped his hands on his thighs before standing up with a grin.

"Well finally! You've been waiting to get that out for a long time champ. So now that you have, feel better? Good, now stop playing martyr and go see her! She needs you, even if she won't admit it and you need her, that little boy needs her. Honey, get off the cross, someone needs the wood!"

He flung an arm off to the side and both were interrupted by a small voice.

"Da?"

Surprise flitted across Angel's face and he broke into a grin rushing over to grab Connor and pick him up. He swung him into his arms.

"Did you hear that? He called me Da, yeah that's me, Da, He said Da!"

"Ma? Ma Da?"

Just like that he froze and looked at Lorne who was grinning and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Out of the mouths of babes."

AA

Cordelia was whining. She knew she was, but it didn't stop her. She was looking better. A little more weight on her face had taken away that sunken look, and she'd gotten her hair washed and brushed, pulled high into a ponytail. Sitting up in the bed she was still on an IV antibiotic from the surgery and now doing some sort of therapy for her lungs as she almost always felt out of breathe. Dropping the remote she flopped back into the bed.

"I'm so bored! When am I going to be allowed out of this bed!"

Wesley had been there so long the nursing staff had started to believe he was the father and perhaps fiance if not boyfriend. They wheeled in a cot for him and he often ate there at the hospital. He'd been allowed to see the baby but since Frances was a few months early they weren't allowing her out of the NICU just yet. Which was taking it's toll on Cordelia. He was now familiar with her refrain and knew exactly how things would go. Whining, pouting, and if he let it get too far, tears. He tried to change the subject before it got that far. For now he had a secret weapon and just smiled.

"I would assume the more you rest, the sooner you get out of the bed."

"That's not true! Hey, how many times were you in the hospital and got yourself signed out before you were supposed to?"

He shook his head, this was another argument she had begun. Getting checked out early so she could go see the baby and go home. He sympathized greatly, but he wasn't giving in. Especially today.

"I did not have a punctured lung or just give birth. You'll stay there."

She narrowed her eyes, her death glare wasn't working so she tried a pout, still nothing. Finally she stuck her tongue out at him. Luckily he was saved from a full out whine when Fred and Gunn came to visit. Gunn had brought some flowers and Fred brought a wrapped box for her.

"Hey there Barbie, brought you somethin' to cheer this place up a bit!"

"And a present for the surprise!"

She perked up taking the flowers and the box, thanking them both. Then she looked among the three of them.

"Surprise?"

Fred looked upset and slapped a hand across her mouth, sure she gave away too much. Wesley smiled.

"Yes, and I believe I should go see if that surprise is ready for you. I'd wait on opening that present."

With that he left Cordelia with Fred and Gunn for company as he headed out the door.

"It had better be some real food! And clothes! Real food and clothes!"

"Better!"

Wesley yelled back at her as he took off down the hall. Fred was able to cheer her up some, she talked about Connor, she asked about the files and Cordy of course went over them again. She didn't mind that Fred didn't get it. She knew that Fred was smarter, she knew that, but the files had been hers for years. It made her feel like perhaps, she wasn't as replaceable as she sometimes felt. At a knock on the door she looked up and her eyes went wide, face flush. Fred moved off the bed right away and let Wes walk to the bed. A nurse following him with the small wheeled bed for the baby. Her arms went out immediately and Wes placed the small bundle in her arms.

"Now, would you prefer those clothes?"

Cordelia shook her head and bit her lower lip, not trusting her voice. It was the first time she'd seen her daughter, who finally had hit five pounds and was able to breathe on her own. She ran a finger along her face and gave a gasp of a laugh and cry.

"Oh, she has his eyes, look!"

Fred clasped her hands together trying not to ask to hold her. She knew that it was too soon but she was so small and cute! Instead she started bouncing.

"Open the present!"

Wesley sighed, he'd been on the nurses for days about letting her see the baby. He moved to the other side of the bed and sat, reaching for the present. The nurse quickly came over and bent, whispering instructions to Cordelia on trying to nurse her and the bottle in case she wasn't able to. She explained the health benefits of nursing for both of them and how it might put more weight on the baby sooner then left them to visit. Wesley opened the present and held up for her the small outfit that Fred had picked out. It was, of course, pink, a onesie and overalls to match, a hat and booties, along with a small sweater.

"Wes said preemie sizes but I thought you would want to put her in somethin' other than hospital clothes."

Cordelia grinned, it was perfect, even if it was very very pink.

"It's great Fred, thank you. It's even better than clothes for me. I'm still holding out hope though. Do you, think I should try feeding her?"

"Did we come at a bad time?"

All eyes went to the door where Lorne, dressed in a scarf, hat and large sunglasses, stood holding Connor. Eyes slowly shifted back to Cordelia who looked like she had maybe more surprises than she could handle. Lorne smiled and stepped in, lifting Connor up to the bed to sit next to her.

"Dad had to take to the sewers, so should be here soon, but this little guy couldn't wait!"

Connor screeched and threw himself at Cordelia. A sense of tension that had been living in the room for weeks finally broke and Cordelia wrapped an arm around Connor and held him close. Wesley moved from the bed to let them sit and Fred leaned back into Gunn with a smile. He looked down and smiled back giving her kiss. Cordelia tried to show Connor the baby but she was shifting so taking that as a possibility of needing to eat she carefully adjusted and tried to feed her. After a few moments she jerked and Wesley stood again worried but she shook her head. She was fine just, surprised at the nursing. She did settle back though and used the small baby blanket to hide any, well, embarrassment. Settling back she smiled at Connor.

That was the sight he saw standing in the doorway. Angel was surprised at the pull he felt low in his stomach. Watching Cordelia nurse the baby, her arm around his son. The others in the room seemed to fade away to the edges as he watched. Lorne had been right, he had to let go of the guilt, this was, too precious to miss.

"See the baby? That's your sister. Can you say sister? Sis-ter."

Connor lifted to his knees and poked the baby in the face.

"Tsiss! Tsiss!"

Something twisted and Angel froze. Whatever had happened in Quor'toth, Connor was not Holtz' son! That was not his sister! He growled and took long strides into the room grabbing Connor from the bed.

"That is not your sister!"

The room erupted into noise and motion. He didn't even notice Cordelia's face as Connor started screaming and crying, his new mangled word for sister as Lorne took him from Angel and Fred went to Cordelia. Wesley pushed at Angel, followed by Gunn as they pushed him out into the hall and closed the door behind them. Angel growled but Wesley pushed him back again, his voice a low hiss.

"How dare you? Do you have any idea how close she came to loosing your child?"

"Connor is fine, and I know what she did to protect him -"

"I wasn't speaking of Connor!"

Angel froze, he looked at Wesley then to Gunn who had his arms crossed and blocking the door. Slow realization dawned as the door opened and they all turned to watch Fred walk out with Connor. She kept her eyes down.

"Cordy said she didn't want anyone upset. So she, she said goodbye to Connor and told him to go see his dad."

Angel looked at Connor then Fred, and finally back to Wesley.

"The baby?"

"Yes. She was already pregnant when Holtz showed up. We didn't know at the time."

"Why didn't anyone. . . "

Fred swallowed and handed Connor over. Angel took him and continued to stare at them all, shock giving way to betrayal. Wesley glared back and crossed his own arms.

"Because she asked us not to. Because she thought it shouldn't have mattered, and she was right. Frances is her daughter, and that should have been what was important. Not your pride!"

The argument might have come to a heated point if it weren't for the sound of alarms and nurses pushing past them to get into the room. Lorne quickly slipped out and hid behind Angel and Fred. Gunn, Angel and Wesley surged into the room, but all were pushed back out, except Wesley. Door closed they all turned to Lorne for an explanation.

"She, was crying, and then she had a hard time breathing. I panicked!"

All they could do was wait and the person most agitated, was Gunn. Finally he shook his head and confronted Angel.

"Look, I quit all right? It's been fun and all but the truth is, we aren't doing anything. My crew is still out there fighting every night! I thought being part of this was a good thing, that we were making a difference, but seems you forgot about that. Not for the first time either. I'm not sticking around to get fired again. I'm gonna actually do something. Just, a head's up."

Angel's jaw worked but before he could answer, Gunn walked off. Fred swallowed and looked at them all.

"I'll talk to him."

She scurried after him and Angel sat down with Connor in his lap. Looking over at Lorne he looked back down at the floor.

"I messed up."

"That you did Champ."

"Lorne. . . "

"Oh no, sorry, I have no answers for you. Everything I know, you know. If you can't figure out the answers from that, there's nothing more I can do."

He looked at Angel and realized the vampire was still in shock. Taking pity on him he sighed and sat forward.

"Look Angelcakes. If it's the why and the how you are so worried about, you know there's only one way to get those answers. But I can tell you, those answers, not as important as the ones you already have. I'll, check in later."

With that he stood up and gave Angel's shoulder a pat before heading out. Angel nodded. He knew what he should do, what he should have done, but hindsight was always 20/20. Nurses left the room, closing the door quietly behind them and he stood to go check on Cordelia. The last nurse stopped and looked at him.

"Oh, are you a friend?"

"I'm, uh, yes. We're, friends."

"Well, luckily she didn't pop any more stitches, she needs to work on lung control until the damage is healed and she needs to stay calm. We sedated her and she's resting comfortably with her family."

With a smile that was meant as a dismissal she walked off and Angel moved to the window. He needed to see for himself. Cordelia was laying quietly, eyes closed and he could see even from the window, the tracks of tears. Her hand limp in Wesley's as he sat next to the bed, the baby, his daughter, in his arm. He looked over to Connor, his head resting on Angel's shoulder.

"Come on, let's go home. Let, 'Ma' rest okay? I promise, I'll fix this Connor."

He kissed the boy's forehead and headed out. Connor finally relaxed and falling asleep. As he turned to leave, sleepy hazel eyes opened and looked out the window before closing again.