September 2, 1950
The 4077th, Korea to the 43rd, San Francisco, California

To my twin brother Dean, stationed to come here to Korea as soon as he is done with training –

Greetings to you, older brother (how can I forget that?), who has finally completed his advanced training, so that he could come here to Korea, as a fine officer (a major instead of captain and I am proud!), instead of going to Nazi Germany. I had not thought to be so formal with you at first, but I have been angry lately and am trying to control my temper and keep my cool. There is a lot going on here and I don't understand why. God, I don't know why it always happens to me, and –

Jesus…I'm already complaining to you in a letter. I'm sorry, Dean, but this writing thing is driving me insane. I HATE writing letters and you, of all people, should know it. Because we're so far apart and not talking to each other in person though, then this will have to do and serve me well. You even said so yourself in your last letter, saying how you could not even get a phone call to Tokyo, but to Guam and that Korea was off limits for the time being. And I know that you HATE being away from me and not being able to talk to me. This is the best we're going to get, I guess.

I had really not seen you since July, when this damned war started (I quickly snuck right back into Bloomington from West Germany, before somebody could catch up to me). Hell, I didn't even get the chance yet to giggle over Mother's new hobby with you (bridge games on Monday nights with other churchgoers) as that last occasion was overshadowed by this thing they call a "police action" in the States, which really doesn't sound like it at all. My duty, as yours is now, is to our country and to defeat the Communists who want to "take over the American way of life", as Major Frank Burns would say, like in his last lecture on Friday about what the war is about.

Yeah, I went to a lecture for the enlisted personnel because I was lonely and I was pretty bored with the other nurses. It was when casualties were at their worst. Every time we came out into the sunshine and out of the OR, there they were. And of course, there was Major Burns after all of this, all dressed cleanly after his shift, telling us (as Hawkeye Pierce said that we would send the Communists our latrines) that we have to defend our way of life before they hit "Main Street, USA." What a twit!

I used to laugh about that when my notice came when I was in West Germany and still am, after a notice was sent for me to use my nursing skills once more, something I had not used since my US posts. So, I took the first plane out, seeing as how I was needed there as soon as possible. Then, here I am, in Korea, never caring about the damned Communists just three miles away and how close we are to them if they decide to jump over the front lines (we are called a mobile hospital for nothing, Dean). Well, I can't even dare to laugh about it because of what I see here. I can't say it here, but can only let you imagine the obvious, since you've been to that thing called war already.

Perhaps this is what we can discuss when you come here? I am sure that you will be posted about here in Uijongbu, ROK, since we're oh-so-cozy with the front lines here. After all, all of the action is usually here or farther up north and we've been moving up from Pusan since the unit was established, some weeks before I arrived here (as Major Houlihan would proudly point out). Like I said, we are three miles from the front lines…remember? And all the Communists have been pushed back up since the beginning of the war, just a few months ago, and we're still fighting over land.

I can't imagine such a serious conversation with you, Dean, so I'll begin to tell you about my troubles and trifles here (and not the war), if you wish to call them that. Dammit, here I am, laughing about complaining to you again. Well, it's a change of topic and truthfully, this might not be new to you, as you know the sacrifices of war (and peace, if you must say). Here are some things that have happened here.

I've written to Mom and Clarence about this little fact (funny as it is): Henry Blake is our commanding officer here. You're sure to laugh! Henry hasn't been able to make the true decisions about his household and can't even have a good day, even when he was sick and in bed. Remember how Lorraine rubbed his back (still in curlers) that one time, Janie and Molly throwing a ball at the side of the house and his dog having an accident before his bed? This has what has got to me the most. And you know, that one image has me laughing again, even as Henry now sits in his office (as far as I know), making a million indecisions a day. The nurses are giving me dirty looks, but I can care less.

Or do I? I don't know and maybe I can explore that more when I tell you more about this place and the people who run it. You might laugh, you might cry and you might even speculate why your wayward sister is having a hard time here.

Well, it isn't JUST the war that is bothering me. It's the boys that come here. There are even little children younger than we are, younger than when we were when we left Mom (we weren't even eighteen, for Christ's sake, when we left). Good God, you know that I'm not that religious, Dean, but just being here makes me want to pray to some heavenly figure that these people will come out of here alive and going home soon, just like us (but knowing about the family curse, which I still call pure superstition, then we can happily be on our merry ways). You want to believe that you'll be fine and you realize that you're not. You look at the children, their families and then the soldiers and wonder why we're here.

Even the natives and the poverty here make me upset and grateful about where I've lived, despite what happened in the past. The homes are nothing more than huts, most of them made of flimsy material and bound to catch fire at any time. Their hospitals are unsanitary and people die by the droves. Most babies are born dead, their mothers dying right after them. Henry has helped to changed that with Nurse Meg Cratty (who has been here for over seventeen years), thank God, but it's still the same, poor country with some quaint beauty around it.

Dammit, I'm crying already. I wanted to feel better writing a letter to you and making you laugh as well, but it isn't happening. Instead, I am sending my tears of unhappiness at being alone…at being without friends…at the bitterness of being without a single memory of goodness except with the people I love the most and are barely there with me most of the time or are now in their graves. I understand that you know how I feel, Dean, but to tell you truthfully, it's been a long trip and I just want to settle down soon, to be rid of this business of the military. After Korea, I think I want to find a comfortable place to hide and stay there, private at last and maybe find some love and start a family, if you can imagine that. Laugh all you want. I seriously think that, after all I've ever been through in West Germany, I'd welcome a bunch of kids and a husband I can tell to go away anytime I want to. I don't know where I'll settle, all things considering, however much I cannot stand to be near Bloomington again.

That's my goal, especially when I get out of here for good and say goodbye to the animosity of misery. I need to be happy, Dean, and I am sure that you need to as well. We have different roles to play when we get home, wherever that would be, and it would be much happier than what we have right now. Me, as a housewife, would be a welcome change from the parts I've played in the years I've been running away.

I must close now, since my shift is so near. Well, Dean, I hope you come to see me soon, as you come to this country later this autumn, and remember your youngest sibling. Well, the only one you really talk to, I mean.

Lots of love, Dean…
Your sister, Jeanie

PS: Have you heard from Mom and Clarence? If not, I am sure that I will tell you about the above activity she has been enticed with. Clarence, well…he's his usual self, I can assure you of that, and has sent his so-call love enough times.