"Yes, General Clayton, it's not as serious as you were told it was by Majors Burns and Houlihan. No, Sir, they're dedicated doctors and nurses and – no, Sir, I am not contradicting you, I was just saying that we're all a bunch of rowdy people and –"

Radar and I were waiting outside of Henry's office space, listening to yet another conversation he was having with General Clayton. Apparently, after a week of unregulation-like behavior (including all night drinking binges I kind of slept through, trying to sacrifice Radar as a virgin during a drunken bonfire, using the gurneys for nurse races and more), Majors Burns and Houlihan went to him after complaining to Henry about the antics of the camp. They found no solution from the colonel, so they typed out a letter to said general and shipped it off secretly. After destroying the typewriter in a fit of passion (so says Radar, spying in the hole in Major Houlihan's tent, but he worded it differently), they stole the one from Radar's space. As he was pretending to sleep and listening to them still, the two ghastly majors finished it quickly, sending it off before Radar could take it to Henry to avoid this type of phone call. They were trying to get Henry into trouble yet again and we both were getting tired of it.

"I don't think this is going to be done anytime soon, Radar," I complained quietly, tired of listening in to the double-talk (Henry and military, which makes me a bigger circle than ever before) and moving away from the doors. "Why don't you get me when Henry's done talking with General Clayton?"

I then looked at the watch on my wrist, shaking my head and wishing that I had more time to spend with Radar. "I have a shift with Nurse Baker in about twenty minutes in Post-Op too. I don't want to be late again and have Major Houlihan kick me in the –"

"Radar, you can bring Captain Morrison in to the office now," Henry called as Radar stood by me, about to leave along with me, and said (at the same time as Henry, as always), "I'll bring Captain Morrison into the office now!"

Well, it was something to that effect. I could not tell what is said when the two simultaneously talk. It's almost as crazy as Henry talking military and trying to be tough when he wasn't.

I sighed, opening the doors to the office by myself and leaving Radar behind to spy, letting the swinging, light door hit me from behind. I then looked at Henry ahead of me, tired from talking to General Clayton (I could tell) and saw his goofy grin, always there when he saw me. I mean, the man practically raised me, along with his wife, even before they were married and had children of their own, much to the scandal of the town. He's been the father I never had when he had the chance to see me, except for the last ten years or so away from Bloomington, seeing me when I chose to conveniently pop in.

Henry copied my motion and sighed himself, giving me a good up-and-down look. "Sit, Jeanie," he ordered (well, it was close to an order for him anyway). "I'm not upset with you or this motley crew here, as you've probably heard or something, but –"

"I know, Henry," I interrupted, sitting in the chair in front of his desk (and knowing he knew we spied on him). "It's not easy being here and being a commanding officer to a bunch of misfits and idiots. And I can't believe that we're stuck here together. I didn't expect it."

"Better than handing you over someplace else and having some other nitwit watch you," Henry replied, not caring about me interrupting him, as I sometimes did (other times, he hated it, especially when he was angry with me). "I'd rather keep my eye on you here than watching you parade in another country or someplace else in Korea. No, Siree, you're staying right here!"

I think Henry was referring to my last stint. I could tell that he's still upset over me going to West Germany after the last war, even though I didn't have much of a choice. However, I could not tell if he was referring to that because his face looked droopy, as if he had a hangover earlier and was recovering from it still or if he had a long night with some nurse (which pisses me off to no end). I knew he missed me. I haven't seen him much, especially in the last five years. Two years went to West Germany and the three before that, I was hopping around the States, doing what the military wanted me to do…or so said the official records. The cold, hard truth is too far-fetched to even think about at the moment.

"I couldn't help it," I complained feebly, knowing that the excuse was lame. "I go where I'm ordered to go. You know that."

"Good to know, Jeanie, but you're listening to me this time." Henry smiled, ready to tell me something he's been waiting to say and it was exciting him to no end. "Then, I order you to stay away from Pierce and McIntyre, at least socially."

My jaw dropped in shock.

"Those two are in bigger trouble than I realized," the commanding officer in Henry explained to me, slowly and carefully, just as a father should. "It's more complicated than you think it is. Other than the usual complaints, Majors Houlihan and Burns have bypassed my command and are trying to put me on trial. They want to court martial me again, adding that I aided and abetted the enemy over our own men. And after I just went through one that almost took away my command."

"You got away with it again, as far as I'm concerned, Henry," I commented, remembering how he was almost sent to the stockade for all of the above and more. "Jesus, you'll get through it if it's done again. You always did. This is an M*A*S*H unit. It's not as 'complicated' as you think it is. I mean, you're commanding doctors, nurses, orderlies and some random odds and ends and not a bunch of minions doing your bidding."

I remembered my time in West Germany upon saying "minions" to Henry and went to speak my mind…almost. I wasn't ready to tell Henry about my time there, especially with my one and only love who was now dead. It was dangerous enough without even thinking about the Soviets over the border in the East and how, if they found me here in Korea and knew who I was, would kill me. Either way, I had to be careful. Loose lips sunk ships.

However, I don't think Henry noticed anything odd about my comments, but just lazily nodded his head, admitting, "I'm more concerned about the swell guys and gals here. Radar practically runs this camp, Burns and Houlihan complain, Pierce and McIntyre fool around, but are ok and everybody functions fine. We have the finest care anywhere in this country and have a survival rate of over ninety percent. Is that enough for those two majors?"

"Not really," I was about to say when Major Houlihan suddenly burst into the office, the smell of Army spam about her. And she retched of it…badly.

"Colonel Blake, come quickly," Major Houlihan began frantically, ignoring the fact that Henry put his head down on his desk (ignoring her and trying to get rid of the hangover I thought he had). "Major Burns has slipped at the Mess Tent! Oh, he might be hurt! His back might have given out again!"

I suppressed a giggle, knowing what had happened. Hawkeye and Trapper took the Mess Hall food and poured it on Frank Burns via a bucket rigged to pour on his head. However, I didn't want to tell Major Houlihan that. I mean, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on the two doctors in the Swamp as I walked around the camp in search of one of them (because Nurse Teller asked for Hawkeye for personal reasons while on shift), but I really couldn't help it. I needed Hawkeye in Post-Op for this so-called personal reason (wasn't quite an emergency, I thought), noticed him talking to Trapper, and shut up for a few minutes, waiting patiently for the two to stop their scheming.

"Is there something funny, Captain?" Major Houlihan asked me as she noticed my snickering, her face turning towards a more sinister side than the pathetic, desperate whimper of hers.

"Oh, no, Major Houlihan," I replied quite somberly as I cleared my throat. "I was wondering what had happened? Is Major Burns ok?"

Major Houlihan didn't sense my false sincerity, which was a good thing (seeing as how I only used it on my mother and I wasn't sure if it worked or not on other people). "Well, if Colonel Blake can hurry, we can see if Frank is ok! Every moment spent here will hurt him!"

I noticed that (other than Henry not playing attention still) Major Houlihan ignored my first question, possibly embarrassed by what happened. Smelling of spam and having her lover (no matter how much they both deny it) slip in Army spam had to be too much to handle. Especially with the two doctors on their cases once more (after a week of rough partying), I think that the majors will have a handful for quite a while.

I almost giggled again, noticing also the head nurse's faux pas mentioning her significant other's first name and not by proper rank. I managed to suppress it, seeing trouble on the horizon for Henry if I caused more trouble. Indeed, I am sure that I'd be cleaning bedpans with the orderlies if the head nurse thought it appropriate for an officer like me.

"Ummm, Major, I don't think –" I began, trying to pay attention to the time and get to my shift in time before I got yelled at again.

"Come on, Colonel," Major Houlihan urged Henry as I jumped out of my seat and tried to sneak out to Post-Op for my shift. "Major Burns could be dying as we speak!"

Henry looked up finally. "Major, I could seriously give a rat's behind about Major Burns, but you still haven't answered the captain's question. What happened?"

"Well, Sir," Major Houlihan began hesitantly as she started to fidget impatiently, "Major Burns and I were having our morning breakfast in the Mess Tent when, oh, those two idiots –"

"Choppers!" Radar interrupted Major Houlihan in a yell as he popped his head into the office and then ran off again. I didn't hear anything, but before long (seconds really), the noise was there and it echoed in my ears.

Henry rose from his seat. "There, you see, Major," he said as he heard them too. "We'll help Major Burns as soon as we can. I guess now is the best time."

"It had better be now, Colonel!" Major Houlihan exclaimed.

The two rushed out after Major Houlihan's somewhat urgent shout (pushing me aside, as per usual) to get to Major Burns and then meet the next batch of wounded. I then ran out with them, swinging Henry's office doors open, and was about to exit the last door when they hit me in the face again as I ran out, Henry pushing it there. It made me stop, thinking about tasting doors again. I rubbed my forehead and nose, but it was no use anymore. This door-in-my-face thing was going to be normal from this moment onward, seeing as how Henry just did it to me. That guy never does a thing like that to me, intentional or otherwise, and he usually apologized when he realized something like that happened to someone via his hands.

Defeated, standing inanely in Radar's space, empty except for the noise outside, I could not move. I knew I had to hurry up and get to the chopper pad, but I couldn't quite make myself move. I had to though, despite the extreme depression that overtook my mind and made me so stationary.

They need me. They need me. They –

"Next time, let's make it garbage," I heard Trapper say outside the doors as I heard feet running.

"No, no, think better, better than poisoning and stabbing and shooting him with garbage," Hawkeye replied in an even tone. "After Ugly John and Spearchucker got tossed out of here, we need to get pretty even. I heard of something done to people sleeping –"

"Attention, attention all personnel! Breakfast in bed has been cancelled. We have wounded!" The usual announcement was yelled over the running, ordering and yelling.

I have to move. They need me. They need me. I have to move. I –

Radar stopped by me and I didn't notice his presence until he was behind me (he came out of nowhere, it seemed). "Sir, are you all right?"

I must have jumped a mile in the air because I made some incomprehensible noise at him until heard myself make a complete sentence (and that took a few seconds to do). "Oh, no, oh, damn…I'm ok, Radar."

I ran out the door to meet the wounded, thinking again all the while. I didn't mean to be that rude to Radar, but my fright was getting to me badly and I didn't know why. Something was bothering me and it was more than people slamming the doors in my face every time we have work to do and ignoring me. It was something more than a children's war coming to haunt me, especially creeping into my dreams as I tossed and turned in wretchedness, trying to ignore the partying outside at four AM. It was also more than anticipating Dean coming to Korea, worrying about a sniper shooting him in the head. It was something deeper.

Other questioned plagued me. When will I actually get to talk to Henry again, to work that out and see what's going on? How will I get his attention when everybody else had it? What was wrong with me?

Oh, I didn't know, but had other things to concentrate on other than those questions. By the amount of wounded we had (with the buses coming in, with ambulances and choppers behind them), I knew we had a long day ahead of us. I just had to grind my teeth and go with the flow. It was the best I could do.