Chapter Twelve

Classes came; and Craig offered to swap seats with me from now on. He was really sympathetic about it; and realised that it was either that or I'd never come back to school again.

So now I sat in the back of English class in solitude; because that's how everyone saw me. For the first time in my life; everyone pretty much hated me. And for that I'll be ridiculed til we all graduate.

I couldn't look at Kyle, because people would notice and hiss at me. So I stole glances every now and again. But as I saw his face hidden in his arms on the desk; I really wish I'd just not looked at him at all. And after about ten minutes of sitting alone and looking at my desk, I got up and flung my book across the room before storming out. And you know what? If felt good seeing everyone looking at me in panic instead of shame for once. Not even the teacher dared talk to me as I slammed the door behind me…only downfall was I shattered the glass and it fell down my shirt. Oh well fuck it, I'd clean myself up later.

Now, only thing was I had nowhere to go. Schoolies were kicked out of places during the hours of nine and three; so I guess I'd go sit on the oval for a while and brood. At least I wouldn't have anyone breathing down my neck and spitting at the mention of my name. And if I saw Wendy right now; I'd doubt she'd have a full head of hair. Coz I'd just grab it chunk by chunk and rip it clean off her head…

"Stan? What happened to your back?"

I flicked out from my awesome vision and turned up to see Bebe staring down on me with that same pained look she had this morning. I looked back down at my shoes and shook my head.

"Just an accident with the door. No big deal."

She seemed to disagree. "I would get it checked out; you shirt is blotched with blood." I felt her sit down beside me and hug her knees. "People giving you the shits again?"

I scoffed. "You know it. I just lost it in class; I was just so angry and I couldn't help but just leave before I attacked someone."

"Wow, that sounds really bad. It's a shame I missed it; I would've encouraged it." I turned to her to see her smile a bit; and I realised that maybe her being stupid really just was an act to hide her true feelings. She blinked and continued. "So, I guess you're in my situation too, huh?"

"Could say that. Only as far as Kyle is concerned, I got what I wanted." I screwed my nose up in hatred and Bebe clicked on.

"Ah, yeah that's no good. I know how that feels too…" She drifted the last half off and changed the subject slightly. "So have you actually told him how you feel; truly?"

I shook my head vigorously. "God no, I couldn't find a benefit in telling him so I let it go."

"Maybe you should tell him then. If he still cares for you, he'll believe you over Wendy."

The name made me grimace, and feel how sticky my back had actually become. "Maybe; but then again he's gotta want to talk to me first. What if he just pretends I don't exist like, forever?"

"Hmm, yeah that's no good." Bebe tapped her chin for a second. "Ask someone to convince him that you have to say one last thing to him before he makes his mind up?"

The way she said it made it seem like it could very well be the last thing I'd ever say to him. "Well, it never hurts to try, right?"

She nodded. "Good luck with this hey. You have a chance to make things right."

"What about your chance?" I had hit a raw nerve by the way her face fell.

"No, I can't go back to anything right now. All I have to hope for is that I'll move on and find someone who'll appreciate me for me and maybe she'll see what she's truly missed out on."

I really felt sorry for this girl right now. Not just because the one she thought would love her back never will, but the fact we had all treated her like a dumbass pretty much her whole life and all she was doing was protecting her pride.

I felt her stand up, and parted from me with a reminding; "Go to the nurse alright? It'll give you time to think."

*---*

"Sorry, I tried man. I really did. He doesn't want to talk to you right now."

I stared at Craig with a longing in my eyes; and he could tell I was messing up over this. He gave a last sympathetic look, before going over to Tweek and entwining his fingers around his lovers. I didn't take offence; I knew he was letting Tweek know that he card for him and all, but that still didn't mean that I was upset that I was alone now. Kenny had managed to soften Butters up to talking to him; and they're slowly working things out. But no, I still can't even get a word in without people shunning me and putting me down. It was like I had become the school's sex predator; and as long as they segregated me I wouldn't go on the prowl.

I skipped lunch; I couldn't be bothered dealing with everyone. So I decided to go to the gym showers and check out my back. Oh yeah, I haven't been to the nurse yet…

I took the shirt off, and hissed as I felt small shards scrape back up the wounds made. And I couldn't help but feel like this was Karma biting me on the ass for not speaking up. And I felt even though I didn't really do anything; I deserved these marks.

And I couldn't help but tear up from both the realisation and the pain. That I would probably never see my best friend ever again.