Getting To Know You

Jenny was getting to know the TARDIS. Her first lesson was long. Like most of her lessons, it started with a question.

"Hit those three buttons. Then flip that switch."

"Why?"

The Doctor quirked his eyebrows at his daughter, his face pale in the green glow of the console.

"Because I told you to."

"No," Jenny said, poking her head around the time rotor, "I mean why does it work like this? Can you show me now?" She watched him, her thin frame leaned around the rotor, head cocked. Her father's forehead creased.

"You mean the TARDIS? Which part?"
"All of it."

He gave a short, surprised laugh.

"It's a little more complex than that. Really understanding it's going to take years, but I suppose I can start some of it today. Actually you already started to learn when you arrived, helping me drive and do repairs." He took a step back from the console.

"She's all right relaxing in the Vortex for now. So, where to start, where to start, where…" he wandered around the console, glancing over the panels as he moved. He'd almost walked into Jenny, who was thinking about stepping out of the way, when he looked up, eyes bright.

"Hah! History. Start with history. Well…" he glanced away. "Maybe not. Ah! Better. Growth. We'll start right at the beginning of a TARDIS, and work our way forwards. Right."

And he began to lecture. Jenny watched him pace and talk. A great deal. Once he got going nothing short of a small explosion or a large weapon could stop him. Well, she had asked.
He explained how a TARDIS capsule was progenated, usually as a graft that budded from a fully formed model.

"Y'see they're sort of a cross between biological engineering and bioelectrical engineering, with the mechanical workings fitted on top. The mechanical stuff is actually easy, I could do it, and I'm no expert, believe you me. I actually have had to do a lot of it over again on this one, some bits've gotten pretty badly damaged over time an' had to be replaced and such. I'm lucky this old girl likes me, or else I would have been in trouble years ago. Mostly the hard part is the actual budding. You have to have a certain set of chemicals, all in the right order, and a decent atmosphere for it to work. I don't think it ever can happen again, since I've never seen a planet that had an atmosphere quite like it was back home. But, that's all right, I don't think the old girl would fancy motherhood much anyway."

The Doctor grimaced for a moment, his eyes losing focus. Jenny could just feel an echo of the ship's reprimand.

"Ooh, touchy. Sorry. Anyway, if you get a successful budding, then you keep the progeny in contact with its elders; other capsules that can basically give it telepathic feedback and information, help it hardwire its bio-circuitry and form its natural telepathic field. Then, once the hardwiring is down pat, you start exposing it to the Vortex, let it get its sea-legs, that takes a bit of time. You have to actually do some programming inside the Vortex, which means going in the mother ship-mothership, oh I can't believe I just said that, next I'll be saying take me to your leader-"

"Father?"

"Oh, right, sorry…right, programming it so that the ship can exist in a state called temporal grace. The trips in the Vortex, with the adult ship showing the new one the ropes, stimulate the ship's built-in trans-temporal instincts. That's where the bigger-on-the-inside thing comes in. Remember what I told you about space?"

"Which part?"

"Quantum mechanics. The bit about levels of reality."

"I think so."

"Well, quick recap. What do you remember? There are the twelve planes, and don't let me hear you calling them dimensions, that's an incorrect use of the word. A dimension's an entirely different thing. So?"

"There are twelve existing planes," Jenny began slowly, "And we live in all twelve of them simultaneously. The ones we really interact with are the first four of spacetime; length, width, depth and time. The next four form the structure that allow the first four to hold together, and the last four are basically rolled up inside the normally sensed planes so tightly that they aren't noticeable, until you get into warp-gravitation and warp-stream work."

The Doctor nodded. "Almost right. Warp-stream only really touches the sixth plane; we work with the eighth plane, what everybody calls the Vortex. And a TARDIS, once it sees another of its own kind do its thing, is able to access both the Vortex and ninth plane. It unrolls part of the ninth plane-level within itself, creating all the extra space we get inside, sort of a mini-universe of its own. Makes life very comfy. After that, the ship's main workings pretty much relocate to the interior plane. The outer shell becomes the shape that holds the link open, the door in, I suppose you could say. That didn't come out right… but close enough for now. These smaller planes don't have much effect from the fourth dimension, being time, so they're pretty much trans-temporal. With me so far?"

Jenny nodded.

"Right. So because they're trans-temporal, they work with all times at once, because all times are the present, pretty much. So everything that has ever existed in the ship without a bioelectrical signal of its own-that being a brain- can be pulled up at any time. So somewhere ahead in my timeline or yours, somebody hung that really hideous silver gown in the Wardrobe. And now it's always there. Case in point. And I know it's from the future b'cause I'd remember something that ugly. Anyway, that's an example of the fact that to a TARDIS, Time doesn't really exist. Or, rather, Time is something it can choose-well not choose, but…" he sighed, his fingers running through his hair. "This isn't coming out quite right. Okay, Time is like… water! A TARDIS can dip in and out of it, but they're not carried in the flow of it. It's like they're…"

"Like those animals?" Jenny asked, "The otters? They swim in the water, then jump out when they feel like it."

"Yes! Oh, good analogy." Her father grinned. "A TARDIS, properly piloted, acts exactly like that! And it can choose exactly when and where to jump in, with the direction of its pilots, passing through the Vortex to move from one point in spacetime to another. But, sorry, getting ahead of myself. After that the progeny is then put through a process, again by older capsules, to stimulate the formation of its full telepathic field. Then the engineer who's working on it begins to attach the implants that the ship's designed to receive. The ship's attached and connected together from the ground up, all the mechanical bits wired into the bio-formed core. The most important parts, the Time Rotor and the temporal circuits, those are wired right into the ship's Heart. And then it's programmed to give it a sense of how to compartmentalize itself, how to form architecture; rooms and corridors and such. With a little work on the telepathic field you can always change the rooms. Reconfigurable architecture. Then they're done. You end up with a machine that's trans-temporal, spatially transcendent, even semi-sentient." He patted the console-and flinched.

"All right, alternately sentient. Blimey, I'm going to get a headache if this keeps up. Last step is the easiest. Biological and isomorphic imprinting."

"And how does that work?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"You just drive it for a bit. Stay near it. It's in our blood to form a link with the ships; so it forms a link with you, gets into your head, you get into its. They take care of the pilots, we take care of them. And the longer you pilot, the closer you get. It's pretty hard to take a TARDIS from their pilot. It can be done, I've seen it done occasionally, but if a ship doesn't like you it can make life pretty miserable." He checked another of the capacitors, talking all the time. "And bonding's not always that simple, y'know. Not every TARDIS will bond with everyone. For instance I could never bond with anything over a type Seventy. It was like having a horse trying to buck you off and bite you at the same time."

"Horse?"

He glanced at her. "Didn't I show you horses?"

"No."

"Well they're-" He paused, shook his head. "No, not important at the mo. Where was I…Oh, right. So once you find a ship that bonds to you, you can end up getting pretty close. The rest of the crew gets a passing bond, but the real connection is with the-not sure if this is going to translate right-the lead pilot. You feel each other's emotions, and you sort of rub off on each other. And if the bond is really strong, you can pilot pretty much by yourself, with its help. They get to be a partner, almost a part of their pilots."

Jenny smirked. "Is that why nothing works when you're in a bad mood?"

He answered with a rueful smile. "That's part of it. Also, they are semi…alternately sentient, so they tend to react to your moods and actions of their own accord. And that's also why you try not to do anything really stupid; it annoys the TARDIS. And she has no compunctions about telling you off. And she gets vindictive. Get on her nerves and she'll remove all your favorite foods, hide your shoes and shake you like a maraca for a few trips. And she won't take you anywhere you want to go. Try not to do it. Anyway…"