Hawkeye, Radar and I walked to Henry's office slowly nonstop as the blanket by the landmines laid abandoned for the time being, only stopping at the doors before the office when hearing military double-talk from Flagg and Henry, going back and forth at each other for a while. Out of habit, Radar and I went to the doors and listened from one side of the doors each, Hawkeye backing away when seeing there was no spot for him in the theater. He could hear the silly conversation from where he was standing (the phone) and could easily be innocent of all charges of eavesdropping. Radar and I, on the other hand, could be sent to latrine duty (even I!) if we were caught.
If only Trapper was here right now instead of being with that nurse…
"Colonel, I don't see why I have to leave my own office." Henry seemed to be on the verge of protesting whatever they were talking about vigorously, but was pointing out the obvious calmly enough. "Captain Morrison is not a risk to security and does not need to be alone with a CIA officer or a rabbi or whoever you are. I don't know what you are right now. However, she needs her commanding officer with her when she is spoken to and not have her, umm, own butt handed to her by some –"
"Colonel, hold your tongue." The familiar, deep and sneaky voice of Colonel Flagg filled my ears, making me want to run my fist into a wall because he pissed me off enough the last time I saw him, hence the feeling (and it was most likely mutual). "Captain Jeanette Morrison is a serious issue to our national security and can be a danger to the civilians of the United States of America if she is captured by the Communist Reds. Besides, the CIA does not care for outside support for one their own, especially a former one. They can handle their own by themselves."
"They don't even like support from their own people, even if they were handling you, their very best supposedly," Hawkeye commented sarcastically as he played with the PA system and the phone, about to turn it on and reveal the conversation in the office. Radar gave him a warning look and it stopped him, but soon enough, the Swamp Rat was playing again.
"Shh!" I hissed, trying to hear the rest of the conversation and whether or not I should just drop in or not, surprising my former and current commanding officers.
"Really, Sir?" Radar moved from his position at the door and looked to Hawkeye.
"I said to shush up!" I repeated in a tone that was annoyed, exasperated.
"Radar! Bring Captain Morrison in here!" Henry must have known that Radar was back from trying to find me.
Radar got up from his position from the door, shrugged his shoulders in indifference at me, and escorted me inside the office, Hawkeye following hotly behind us without revealing the contents through the PA systems. Hell, I don't think that he was going to be intimidated by Colonel Flagg (unlike Radar) and told not to be there for me before his head met a jukebox. Indeed, I think Hawkeye would have loved to play with Flagg, especially when it involves Frank and his files, like last time he was around (another thing I missed, although it was funny to hear that Frank was not only accused of being a Communist, but also a Fascist). To hear some CIA double-talk, much like the Army, would be much more fun to my Knight in the Shining Red Bathrobe.
Henry, upon seeing the two with me, got up from his desk. "Pierce, Radar, this is a private matter and one of national security. We must leave Rabbi Goldstein – I mean, Colonel Flagg to his, umm, work and let him work on what he needs to work on."
I would have laughed at Henry had this not been a serious matter.
"Pierce…Pierce…" Flagg, I saw, was sitting in a seat before Henry's seat, trying to remember something about Hawkeye, as if he didn't see him last time he was around the camp. "Oh, yes, Benjamin Franklin Pierce, Captain, US 12836419."
"Been digging around into my friends' files, I see," I said, unsure of how else to greet Flagg.
This was my welcome to the man who sent me here, the man who didn't care that Falk was sent to his death and would not hesitate to send Hawkeye to his, if it came down to it. Inside, as always, I was fuming about Flagg's usual nosy behavior (especially when it concerned me or anyone connected to me), which was good for a CIA officer and master spy. It was not for everything else.
I wanted to kill Flagg, strangle him right where he sat, but I knew he was stronger than I am and could easily kill me, just by bashing my head repeatedly into the nearest wall and not caring that I was pregnant. Besides that, Flagg also had a gun at his belt (always hidden), within easy reach if he didn't want to make the effort in creating a messier Jeanie. He wouldn't hesitate to use it against me, despite it being a hospital and there being a rule against weapons inside the building.
I continued, regardless of what was going to happen. "Colonel Flagg, it's a pleasure to see you again, although I am extremely regretful it's under some…strange circumstances." I then saluted at him somewhat halfheartedly by wiggling my fingers with the salute, knowing that my efforts would go unappreciated in any way.
Flagg stood up. "Captain Morrison, might I remind you –"
"It's best for you all to get out of here for this meeting." I interrupted Flagg before anyone else said a word, knowing that he could get downright dirty and cruel when he wanted to be, not having his way and all. "Henry, I'll meet you up in your tent later to talk to you about this. Hawkeye, Radar…you two, I'll talk to later as well. I'll be there in the Swamp after I have my conversation with Henry."
I remained adamant about my decisions, pushing out the people I loved most in the world so that I could deal with "The Wind" by myself. I didn't want them in the office and have to defend me when I can stand up alone, this being one of the many mistakes in my life that they could not help with. They didn't need to deal with Flagg and his antics either and, seeing as how I was supposedly some threat to our national security, just because of some crummy desk job in West Germany, then so be it. Flagg can get his way.
"Jeanie, I don't want you to –" Henry began as he walked around the desk.
"Get out of here, Henry, while you can," I repeated, feeling the anger inside of me rise. "It's the best thing you can do right now. Hawkeye, you too, and take Radar with you. I'll talk with you all of you later, when I'm finished with Colonel Flagg here."
"Fine, but you better be better than one that is crazy in the army, Jeanie," Hawkeye commented, smiling threateningly at Flagg and then walking out with Radar with a jaunty wave. I was sure that Radar was bound to be eavesdropping at the door still.
Hawkeye and Radar both took this defeat well, but it wasn't going to be good for me when the former finally gets me to talk, although I had an idea that we were going to get into an argument about it. Henry, on the other hand, took a few more seconds to be persuaded that he didn't need to be with me as Colonel Flagg was doing his questioning. That fatherly feeling in him just didn't go away automatically and that always took precedence over rationality and reason or even practicality.
"Henry, just go," I said, with some finality in my voice, as if I was washing my hands of him. "I don't need to tell you again and neither does Colonel Flagg."
"I'll take up your offer," Henry only replied, also fuming. "I'll be in my tent. Leslie might be there, so be prepared for some competition for attention."
"She better be out before I get there or else Lorraine is getting a surprise letter," I retorted quite hotly, always throwing the latest blackmail in his face because of how tired I was of him cheating on Lorraine. "I don't think, with another child on the way, that she'd also like to deal with heartache and possibly a divorce in the mix."
Henry looked dumbfounded, but it was temporary. "You wouldn't dare!" he yelled right back after that second of shock.
"Then, let it be done," I retorted through clenched teeth, livid enough that Flagg was around and my fate was hanging on a thin thread as I pushed everyone away. It was a silly little thread easily cut by Flagg if he so chose to, one that could never be tied back together again.
The face that Henry gave me in reply made me shudder, despite what I knew to be right. I knew that he was still irate about my pregnancy and then being kicked out of something he thinks that he should be a part of. With Flagg around though, I had no choice in using blackmail. Hell, Henry was easy to blackmail and it would be many ways that I could take with it. The worst of his actions were playing with girls younger than he was. I didn't appreciate him going behind Lorraine's back no matter what, but at the same time, it gave me some leverage when I needed things to go my way. This alone got got him to leave, hopefully letting him cool down so that I didn't have to argue loudly with him later on.
God, Henry even went for that girl, Nancy Sue Parker, and she was younger than I was by almost a decade! I was so pissed when she went after Hawkeye too! Henry sure knows how to pick up some winners. Leslie is no better, always demanding this and that out of Henry.
Flagg was pleased when we were alone and that I still had the power of persuasion in my hands, although it was empty promises and threats I usually threw and that I wouldn't actually execute. Then, quickly making sure that nobody was in Radar's space outside (even the company clerk had hidden, I knew, and going to snoop when he had the chance), Flagg sat comfortably in Henry's desk chair, motioning for me to sit as well. I eased into a chair in front of the desk and waited patiently for the next phase.
"You were never one for relaxing, were you?" Flagg asked me. "If you want, you can frisk me. I don't have microphones on me."
"No, Sir, and you knew it. I was always on the ball and alert when you put me in the field." I squirmed in my seat as my weight shifted unevenly, aware that Flagg was probably lying about the microphones.
"You also knew how to get your own way," Flagg continued to muse out loud, ignoring my uncomfortable state (my back started to ache and then cramp) and my comments. "However, I don't think you can get out of this one yet, Iréne. This is going to be tough."
"It is Captain Jeanette Morrison here, and you know it, Colonel." My anger soon (quite quickly) turned to irritation, which pleased me in some way. It was an improvement in my mood and one likely not to change much.
It was not in Flagg's nature to accept disrespect. "Whatever the name may be, I don't care. What I care about is the safety and security of this man's Army, the CIA and of the officials, citizens, politicians, etc., of this United States of America. This visit will be short, Iréne, before I make my disappearance again. My decision is clear and there seems to be no other way. It's final."
Flagg paused and then said no more, making me tap my foot in impatience at this great cliffhanger, although even that motion was making my body throb. My mind's thoughts even continued to buzz with frustration, cursing that General Clayton had left my life in the hands of some maniac who liked to call me by a name I'd rather soon forget. He left me with Flagg, the one who started to destroy my life little by little and would do anything to keep the control over me, like I was still his puppet and he the master.
I could not take the waiting anymore. "Then what's your decision, Colonel Flagg? You might as well flaunt your power before me and tell me my fate, just like you led Falk to his death. Hell, you've pretty much taken away everything I've ever loved the last time we've met. And your 'promise' to send me to England kinda went through a brick wall before we both knew it, as if you've probably planned to send me here to Korea all along. Here I am. So, now what? What are you doing to do, now that I'm pregnant and can't go anywhere near my homeland?"
"That little German soldier had nothing and was nothing," Flagg replied to me instead, irate that I accused him of something he hid well from me. "Of course I made sure he didn't come back because he was thorn in my side and was always battling me. He was against me and you knew it! And you didn't tell me about it!"
"I didn't even know, Colonel," I answered somewhat truthfully, scratching my head. I might have had an idea that Falk did not like the line of work we did, but I was being as truthful as I could be. "This isn't about Falk though. This is about me, about my baby, and what you're going to do with me about it. So, what is it going to be? Home, someplace else, Korea or death? It goes in either direction, Colonel, and you have the power to make anything happen for me. So, are you gonna send me to a bigger hell or keep me cooped up here for the rest of my life?"
I was surprised to be talking about my child in such a manner and I think Hawkeye rubbed off of me. All of a sudden, even with the subtle talks of abortion and a free life in Korea or elsewhere, I didn't want to lose the baby and wanted to keep it, whatever the cost to me and my life. I didn't care if I was put someplace remotely, just as long as the baby was safe.
"I would like to put a bullet in that little forehead of yours, just like they did to your German soldier, but I think your father and Henry Blake would kill me next, if they can get to me." Flagg smiled a mystery kind of grin that never frightened me like it did to most, but made me want to punch him in the face still. "General Clayton liked the idea that you were to stay in Korea until the end of the war, and if I decided it, then that would be it. And I do. You are too dangerous elsewhere, Iréne, and I can't afford to lose someone like you in the United States or be putting you in someplace where nobody can see you, but can easily figure out where you are. After the war, it'll be a different story. I might have another assignment for you."
My jaw dropped and I felt like I myself was punched in the stomach, even if a life form was swimming and kicking me there already. The definite and final decision to keep me in Korea hit me harder than I thought it was going to, worse than when I was in Seoul. Worse, I might be Flagg's puppet after the war, if he can control the strings and keep me with the Army and CIA for the rest of my life. It also might mean separating from those I love, especially Henry and Hawkeye, and perhaps never seeing my baby again.
"You can't be serious, Colonel!" I gasped, trying to catch oxygen that was not there, to somehow make my lungs work, but to no avail.
"I am serious, Iréne, and I could never be more," Flagg replied, suddenly having an interest in the papers on Henry's desk and visibly reading them. "Now, where was I…?"
"Stop calling me that!" I put my hands to my ears again, trying to call back his attention, but not really wanting to hear his voice ever again. "I am not a spy. I am a nurse, a captain of the US Army and a woman worthy of some respect!"
"You can't erase the past, Captain," Flagg finally amended as he continued to read through the supply requests, reports and other papers of interest. "You are just too hazardous to be let loose in the United States or anywhere else. You can easily be watched and under our thumb if you're here in Korea. However, until the Army knows that you're loyal and following the American way of life, they can probably let you live there again, if you're not useful elsewhere. You will be watched for the rest of your life. You cannot be trusted ever again and I'll tell you, Uncle Sam would be happy to watch your back and kill you with your next mistake."
"I don't care!" I yelled as I put my hands down, acting the child save for holding in air and passing out from the lack of it. "I want to go home someplace, Colonel, and never have to travel the world again. I can't be here! It's dangerous enough here for me. Damn whatever security risk I supposedly am to home. I am putting the ones I love in bigger danger because of one offer I could not refuse all those years ago, all because you liked me so much to send me away from the US. Let me go home!"
"If you had one to go to." Flagg suddenly locked his eyes into mine, searching for something, but I could not tell what yet. "As I understand it, your mother is not pleased with you."
"You've been reading my mail again, haven't you?" I sighed, thinking of the letter I did not get yet, but probably would soon. "You knew I wrote to her, to tell her the news, even if it killed me to?"
Flagg waved his hand in indifference. "What matters the most is the security of those important and small in this great country called the United States of America. I still don't know if you're a Communist Red or someone un-American, Iréne, since you've been pretty sneaky when you worked for me, but if I find out that you are one of the gorillas, your little head will sport a red spot. Right…in…the…middle."
I gulped, although I was sure that Flagg did not hear me. "You don't scare me."
"And you don't do the same to me." Flagg shook his head, as if to clear it of something worse than my troubles, and continued. "You're dismissed. And as far as I am concerned, this conversation never happened."
"As ever, Sir," I smiled, knowing the usual routine (the conversation probably going in my file someplace and blackened out). I got up and heading for the door quickly.
"Oh, and once more thing, Iréne," Flagg called to me.
As I turned around, I saw that Flagg was gone, but I heard a voice behind me, that sneaky bastard running past me (I saw the shadow, his usual escape) and disappearing somehow. "Leave this country before the end of the war and you'll be dead. Try to communicate with the enemy and you'll be dead. Try to do anything behind my back and you'll be dead. So, I think you'd better sit tight and stay here."
And then Flagg reappeared for a moment in front of me and was gone just as quickly, out of the door and outside. I sighed as I watched Flagg visibly walk out of the camp, oblivious to all and not caring about him anymore. As I watched him though, I saw that he hid behind some trash cans, jumping away from a new nurses as they giggled and pointed at him. Then, his head peeked up and he scanned the camp, left and right, before disappearing behind the trash cans again. By then, I was tired of his game and not wanting to know where he was going after that. I slinked back into the office and looked around for one last time.
Damn him! Damn him and his decisions! Damn this Army and everything in it! I'm staying here, in danger, and oh, my God. What about my baby?! It's not meant to be here. I'm not meant to be here. God, what have I done to myself?! What have I done to my baby?!
I then slumped my body against the filing cabinet next to the door, studying pictures that little Molly had made for Henry. I lost myself in them, a fantasy world of paper and crayons that were so much easier to play with. They seemed so much safer than reality, a reality that I was not ready to neither deal with nor accept to its fullest, nor could I comprehend it. It was also one that I could not face. There was too many factors and people to fit into the equation and one that I did not want to put together yet.
One question boggled my mind as I looked to those pictures for comfort. What am I going to do?